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(Daily Mail)   Female advice columnist: 'Don't drink if you don't want to get raped'   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 489
    More: Dumbass, advice columnist, Emily Yoffe, social construct, Katie Mcdonough, short skirt, The Atlantic Wire, sex crimes  
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7998 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2013 at 4:19 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



489 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-17 11:35:57 PM
Man, that really sucks being a girl then. I would have been raped a thousand times over.
 
2013-10-17 11:56:13 PM

Lando Lincoln: Man, that really sucks being a girl then. I would have been raped a thousand times over.


Maybe you have and you just don't remember because you were so drunk?
 
2013-10-17 11:58:21 PM
It's fair advice. Getting blackout drunk is foolish and leads to you doing stupid/bad things and stupid/bad things being done to you
 
2013-10-18 12:22:37 AM
I kinda understand that, but now-a-days someone could just drop something tasteless in your water and you'll be farked up.
 
2013-10-18 12:24:12 AM
Oh, come ON! How else are guys who would not get laid on their own merits actually, you know, get laid?!
 
2013-10-18 12:32:44 AM
Don't want to get raped? Just don't ever leave the house.
 
2013-10-18 12:37:45 AM

cheezitmojo: Don't want to get raped? Just don't ever leave the house.


Certainly not without a husband or brother.
 
2013-10-18 12:39:46 AM

cheezitmojo: Don't want to get raped? Just don't ever leave the house.


This, and even then, that's no guarantee that you won't be raped by an unwanted visitor.
 
2013-10-18 12:44:26 AM
If you don't want to get robbed, don't go walking through the ghetto flashing a Rolex, and iPhone, and Armani suit at 2 in the morning - SOUND LIFE ADVICE.

If you don't want to get raped, don't get blackout drunk around people you don't know, as alcohol is involved in 80% of all college rapes - OMG YOU ARE THE MOST SEXIST PIG EVAR
 
2013-10-18 12:57:05 AM
I've been drinking all night, and I haven't been raped yet.

I want this lady's address.
 
2013-10-18 12:58:21 AM

God Is My Co-Pirate: cheezitmojo: Don't want to get raped? Just don't ever leave the house.

Certainly not without a husband or brother.


And be sure to wear something that covers your body from head-to-toe. And don't even think about driving.
 
2013-10-18 01:07:03 AM

Marcus Aurelius: I've been drinking all night, and I haven't been raped yet.

I want this lady's address.


Well, we can dress you in feminine attire, and drop you into a roomful of drunk high school and college jocks. I think you'll at least get a grope...

/all the "girls" get prettier at closing time, etc etc
 
2013-10-18 01:08:27 AM

cheezitmojo: Don't want to get raped? Just don't ever leave the house.


Strangely enough, most rapes are not stranger rape.
So staying home wont help.
 
2013-10-18 01:35:15 AM

namatad: cheezitmojo: Don't want to get raped? Just don't ever leave the house.

Strangely enough, most rapes are not stranger rape.
So staying home wont help.


maybe that's the solution. don't stay at home so you're always around strangers, and the moment you get to know someone avoid them at all costs.
 
2013-10-18 02:06:47 AM
THIS

theczech.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-18 03:11:42 AM
So does that mean if a bartender serves a woman drinks and she gets raped she can sue the bar? If drinking leads to rape then does that mean all bars that serve women are profiting from creating opportunities for rapists?
 
2013-10-18 03:55:45 AM
seems appropriate

"teach them not to rape"
 
2013-10-18 04:28:49 AM

quickdraw: So does that mean if a bartender serves a woman drinks and she gets raped she can sue the bar? If drinking leads to rape then does that mean all bars that serve women are profiting from creating opportunities for rapists?


No, I blame the taxi driver who dropped her at the bar.
 
2013-10-18 04:32:16 AM
I'm not going to lie, I usually wear masculine clothes and tap into my underlying 'general rage' on the rare occasions that I am in an area that might be considered alpha male territory, and really don't get hassled much by men, but I absolutely don't blame victims either if something happens to them. No female should have to do what I choose to do just so they don't get assaulted. Be smart if you're drinking, try to avoid strangers, cover your drink, take it with you if you go to the bathroom, etc. - but as said before, teach men not to rape.

Lordfortuna made a joke one time when we were horsing around about what he might do if I fell and hit my head. I think that fight lasted about two days, after I shoved the state penal code in his face about the subject. I'm pretty sure he got the point since it's never come up again.
 
2013-10-18 04:35:20 AM
It sounds like a sage bit of advice to me.
 
2013-10-18 04:37:06 AM

ladyfortuna: I'm not going to lie, I usually wear masculine clothes and tap into my underlying 'general rage' on the rare occasions that I am in an area that might be considered alpha male territory, and really don't get hassled much by men, but I absolutely don't blame victims either if something happens to them. No female should have to do what I choose to do just so they don't get assaulted. Be smart if you're drinking, try to avoid strangers, cover your drink, take it with you if you go to the bathroom, etc. - but as said before, teach men not to rape.

Lordfortuna made a joke one time when we were horsing around about what he might do if I fell and hit my head. I think that fight lasted about two days, after I shoved the state penal code in his face about the subject. I'm pretty sure he got the point since it's never come up again.


Bury you alive would be my call.
 
2013-10-18 04:52:05 AM
If the warning is that college women shouldn't get stupid drunk at frat parties, it's good advice. So is telling college men and women not to get stupid drunk and wander around in bad parts of town.

Is it unfortunate that college kids can't get stupid drunk and not worry about being taken advantage of? Yes, it is unfortunate, but it's also reality.

Advising college women not to get stupid drunk at parties is very good advice.
 
2013-10-18 04:53:05 AM
They should smoke weed.  It works much better.
 
2013-10-18 04:53:24 AM
It IS a valid point.  Sober, you are more aware of your surroundings and more likely to avoid situations that would be out of your control.

Don't be the weakest link.
 
2013-10-18 04:53:27 AM
"Don't tell me to lock my door! Teach your kids not to steal!"
 
2013-10-18 04:53:32 AM
Ladies, carry a pair of scissors, big enough to castrate a rapist, somewhere on you at all times. No means no then no means snip snip.
 
2013-10-18 04:54:16 AM
Subby and the daily fail don't understand the difference between drinking and getting trashed. Of course Prudence didn't understand that a good chunk of Americans consider getting trashed their birthright, so I think everybody's even.
 
2013-10-18 04:54:21 AM

RandomRandom: If the warning is that college women shouldn't get stupid drunk at frat parties, it's good advice. So is telling college men and women not to get stupid drunk and wander around in bad parts of town.

Is it unfortunate that college kids can't get stupid drunk and not worry about being taken advantage of? Yes, it is unfortunate, but it's also reality.

Advising college women not to get stupid drunk at parties is very good advice.


Agree 100%.  I'm trying to understand who has a problem with this advice?  Are there people (other than rapey frat brothers) advocating for college women to get stupid drunk?
 
2013-10-18 04:54:23 AM
She's not wrong, she's just an asshole.

In a perfect world, all men would be nice guys who know rape is wrong and don't do it, and we would have a better criminal justice system that catches more of those that do.  Since we don't live in this rape-less utopia, I don't think it's out of line to encourage women to practice self-protection tactics in order to minimize their own risk of being a victim.

I don't walk through southeast DC or northwest Baltimore while being white for similar reasons, especially after dark.  Just saying.
 
2013-10-18 04:54:37 AM

namatad: cheezitmojo: Don't want to get raped? Just don't ever leave the house.

Strangely enough, most rapes are not stranger rape.
So staying home wont help.


The rape is coming from inside the house!
 
2013-10-18 04:54:56 AM
I'm way ahead of her. I'm getting fitted for my burka later today.
 
2013-10-18 04:57:02 AM

ArkAngel: It's fair advice. Getting blackout drunk is foolish and leads to you doing stupid/bad things and stupid/bad things being done to you




It's almost like your saying choices have repercussions. Don't say that on Fark or your will be called pro rape.
 
2013-10-18 05:00:31 AM

RayD8: ladyfortuna: I'm not going to lie, I usually wear masculine clothes and tap into my underlying 'general rage' on the rare occasions that I am in an area that might be considered alpha male territory, and really don't get hassled much by men, but I absolutely don't blame victims either if something happens to them. No female should have to do what I choose to do just so they don't get assaulted. Be smart if you're drinking, try to avoid strangers, cover your drink, take it with you if you go to the bathroom, etc. - but as said before, teach men not to rape.

Lordfortuna made a joke one time when we were horsing around about what he might do if I fell and hit my head. I think that fight lasted about two days, after I shoved the state penal code in his face about the subject. I'm pretty sure he got the point since it's never come up again.

Bury you alive would be my call.


You first.
 
2013-10-18 05:06:31 AM
Advice A: "Hey ladies, how about you not make yourselves targets by getting sloppy drunk"
Advice B: "Hey guys, how about you not be evil rapists"

images9.fotki.com
 
2013-10-18 05:09:21 AM
It's good advice.

Girls need to learn to stay in control of their facultys and guys need to learn not to put on beer-goggles.
 
2013-10-18 05:10:19 AM
You can support decent advice without being pro-rape.

When I worked at a zoo, they taught us how to react if a dangerous animal escaped their exhibit. That didn't mean they supported lion maulings.
 
2013-10-18 05:13:54 AM
Oh, THIS thread again.

When are we going to evolve as a society to a point where we recognize a woman's right to leave her car unlocked on a bad block without it being robbed?
 
2013-10-18 05:14:02 AM
I agree with putting the blame on the perpetrator but the idea of 'tell them not to rape' seems a little flawed. How much you can teach sociopaths etc to behave a certain way and have them listen?
 
2013-10-18 05:20:17 AM
The first step to addressing rape as a serious issue would be to properly define the law in such a way that EVERY SINGLE PERSON I KNOW is not a rapist.
 
2013-10-18 05:20:25 AM
I think everyone is failing to focus on what the best/worst/Daily Mail Special aspect of that article is, specifically the image they put in it.

i.dailymail.co.uk

Because it means at some point, the stock photography company has suggested, agreed and then put into production: "Hey we need some images of a passed out girl with a strong implication of rape with a spring onion about to ensue"
 
2013-10-18 05:21:37 AM

TomD9938: It's good advice.

Girls need to learn to stay in control of their facultys and guys need to learn not to put on beer-goggles.


Whoa there fella! Beer goggles is how my first wife got me to marry her.

/helluva thing, hangovers AND divorce proceedings.
 
2013-10-18 05:21:59 AM
I never really saw the attraction in getting all sloshy drunk, but I get that for some people, it's a high human right granted by FSM himself & no one has any business suggesting prudence or self-control. I get it that, should you decide to go and get all sloshy drunk, it's up to the rest of the world to respect that right and protect you from the consequences of your exercising that right. I get it. That still doesn't make it a smart thing to do.

In a perfect world there would be no sharp corners, no rough neighborhoods, no rapists. But in the world we actually inhabit, those things exist. Is it really unreasonable to recommend people be aware of the hazards and guard against them? If you tell your child not to get into a stranger's car, it does not mean you excuse child abductions. If you look both ways before crossing a street, that does not mean drivers have any right to run you down. So why is it unreasonable to state the obvious, that if you get drunk you'll be more vulnerable to rape, as well as to robbery, beating, and eyebrow-shaving?
 
2013-10-18 05:23:41 AM
Advising people to avoid dangerous situations is not the same as saying that someone was at fault for being a victim.

Posting things like the "tips to end rape", a list of instructions to "teach" men how not to rape, implying that men don't know how not to rape, don't help, and are offensive.  As a man, I promise you that I have no intention of having non-consensual sex with you or making you do anything you don't want to do. The guys who do aren't going to listen to those things.

Women who abstain from drinking do avoid certain types of assault. Women who don't go out and lock themselves in their bedroom and never have contact with anyone else  also avoid certain kinds of assault. Saying those things doesn't mean that anyone expects you to do those things.  There is a difference between recommending that someone take precautions and remain as aware of their environment as possible and blaming victims.
 
2013-10-18 05:27:31 AM
others believe that analyzing the actions of the victim, rather than the attacker, sends a message that rape is excusable.

I don't believe rape is excusable. When I try to find out the reasons behind the rape, and the circumstances that led up to it I am not doing it to find an excuse for the rapist. I am doing it to understand the situation. I'll analyse the actions of both victim and attacker. It's just that the actions of the attacker are relatively straight forward - "saw target, raped", so require less analysis. It's the actions of the victim that places the attack into context. Ultimately the man is 100% responsible for the rape and should be punished as such. You have to be careful to minimise all risks to your personage, not just rape, but all crime. But taking such risk mitigating steps, or offering them as suggestions to young people, does not condone all acts of crime.
 
2013-10-18 05:28:58 AM
Subby:

To you, the author of the article, and all the morons who were freaking out about what they thought the columnist wrote, I can only say:

img39.imageshack.us

The insistence of people to blindly make farcical non sequiturs, just in order to support their own soapbox rants, is particularly frustrating - and it seems to be getting more and more common.

Seriously, (junior) high schools need to start teaching people how to think logically. This is getting embarrassing.

/end of soapbox rant
 
2013-10-18 05:29:46 AM
Fire Marshall: "You should have a smoke detector on every floor of the house to reduce the risk of death in a house fire."

Rabid feminists:  "STOP BLAMING THE VICTIM AND EXCUSING FIRE!!"
 
2013-10-18 05:30:43 AM

CarrieWhite: I agree with putting the blame on the perpetrator but the idea of 'tell them not to rape' seems a little flawed. How much you can teach sociopaths etc to behave a certain way and have them listen?


As an internet video on the subject once said.

'Don't tell me to lock my doors, teach your children not to be burglars' works just about as well.
 
2013-10-18 05:31:24 AM
Christian Republicans are the worst farking people on the planet.
 
2013-10-18 05:32:35 AM
i915.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-18 05:32:50 AM

Elegy: If you don't want to get robbed, don't go walking through the ghetto flashing a Rolex, and iPhone, and Armani suit at 2 in the morning - SOUND LIFE ADVICE.

If you don't want to get raped, don't get blackout drunk around people you don't know, as alcohol is involved in 80% of all college rapes - OMG YOU ARE THE MOST SEXIST PIG EVAR


This.

People are creeps, and the ratio rises in certain places.

Yeah, it'd be nice if a woman could just lie down anywhere, a men's prison, for example, and not get touched.   This theoretical prison would be empty because there is no crime in fantasy land.

Odds are much the same with money.  You drop some in the street, you will never see it again.  The law in the situation doesn't really matter.  Finders keepers...

Same sentiment behind passed out rape actually.  "Oh, hey, look what I found!"

Extend that advice out to everyone, for any reason.  Don't incapacitate yourself around strangers.  There's a reason humans developed the habit of sleeping behind a door, much of the time a locked door, or two.

If we ever become the utopia that you all are delusional about, fine.  Until then don't let stupidity turn you into a victim. We know rapes are common at these parties.  We know crime is high in DC.  We know Detroit is a shiathole.

If you want to avoid a common problem, don't place yourself in the situation where it's common.  The same thing applies to drunk drivers.  Even though alcohol impairs judgement, they're held ultimately responsible, even without someone else getting hurt.

The rapist should still get punished, don't get me wrong.  We're not talking about crime and punishment.  We're talking about risk assessment and taking steps to protect yourself.  Two totally different concepts.

You also shouldn't get drunk and play with knives, or a plethora of dangerous things.  Or more simply, you shouldn't run with scissors.

None of those is "blaming the victim".  It's trying to teach a life lesson without having the person become a victim.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work very well, just like laws against rape/theft/etc, because humans, by and large, are creeps.
 
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