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(SeattlePI)   A helpful slideshow on 'how to waste time at work.' Since you're reading this on Fark, you probably don't need any help   (seattlepi.com) divider line 40
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5988 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Oct 2013 at 1:31 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-17 01:34:20 PM
command+tab is my best friend at work.
 
GBB
2013-10-17 01:35:18 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-17 01:39:12 PM
Gotta freshen up my coffee, gotta practice my yoyo
From nine to ten it's penciled in, I'm staring out the window
Eatin' a jelly donut, that's just one of my perks
Everybody's doin' it, dickin' around at work
I'd love to finish up that project, I'd love to finish that report
But first I'm gonna finish my yogurt and then download some porn
Gotta check out that new chick, I hear she's a flirt
Maybe she'd be up for dickin' around at work
Carry around some folders, shuffle around some papers
I just spent two hours adjusting my screen saver
Have to put you on hold sir, your call is important to me
It will be ignored in the order it was received
Oh I'm a model employee, I always clean the glass
When I'm finished making photocopies of my ass
I brown nose the bosses, yes sir yes mam
I'm not apathetic, I just don't give a damn
Cos I'm dickin'
Around
At work

/sean morey
 
2013-10-17 01:39:47 PM
I don't waste time, I multi-task.  It keeps the brain fresh
 
2013-10-17 01:40:09 PM
Meetings are my #1 time waster. At least my internet surfing occasionally results in something productive.
 
2013-10-17 01:44:17 PM
Pooping on the clock is one of the few pleasures I have in life.
 
2013-10-17 01:44:34 PM
Mine in no particular order:

Fark
Meetings
Discussions (two idiots instead of a roomful)
Mandatory training (Ethics, disaster preparedness...)
Plotting Revenge
Walking through a building with a portfolio like I'm somebody
Fark
Doing GIS of actresses
 
2013-10-17 01:45:23 PM
at Seattle PI: writing this article
 
2013-10-17 01:45:58 PM
Or write an opengl renderer without windowing or extension loading support.
 
2013-10-17 01:46:34 PM

StRalphTheLiar: Meetings are my #1 time waster. At least my internet surfing occasionally results in something productive.


I used to play poker on my bberry to endure and survive the tedium of meetings that were pointless.  Back at my work station, I would hot-key between FARK and some spreadsheet or document that I'd already seen, and acted upon.
 
2013-10-17 01:47:41 PM
Here they are. save yourself some clicks. This counts, as always, towards my community service.

Socializing
Social networking
Wasting time on the Internet
Meetings
Job hunting
Personal problems
Other issues
Thinking about life
Distractions
 
2013-10-17 01:51:23 PM
I got the ra-ra speech from my boss last week.  He wants every thing done at work to 100% best it can be.  So I'm playing candy crush during lunch but I only get 2 of 3 stars.  I spend the afternoon going flat out trying to get all three and he gets mad.  I just trying to do my best
 
2013-10-17 01:52:41 PM

Prairie Phoenix: Pooping on the clock is one of the few pleasures I have in life.


Remind me to clock-in before you...
 
2013-10-17 01:55:29 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: Prairie Phoenix: Pooping on the clock is one of the few pleasures I have in life.

Remind me to clock-in before you...


LOL, nice.
 
2013-10-17 01:56:19 PM
I went from this.

phloatingman.files.wordpress.com

To this

vladspears.com

// now my excuse is "data is reloading"
 
2013-10-17 02:08:52 PM
How about coming up with crap list that only cover 10 items of which most are duplicates of a previous one and the last one is an ad... Hmmmmmm
 
2013-10-17 02:12:15 PM

StRalphTheLiar: Meetings are my #1 time waster. At least my internet surfing occasionally results in something productive.


Same here. Even in medicine I can't escape it.

Big thing right now are huddles. They're supposed to be a ten minute quick meeting, reviewing the day's patients and what we, the docs, might need.

Problem is, I already do this. Every day my nurse gets a message with each patient listed and anything I need for her to do regarding labs, paperwork, et c. Making us stand there for a half hour "ten minute huddle" is useless.

What can I say? Every so often the director gets a new "efficiency" bug up his ass.
 
2013-10-17 02:24:28 PM

lordargent: I went from this.

[phloatingman.files.wordpress.com image 413x360]

To this

[vladspears.com image 413x360]

// now my excuse is "data is reloading"


That first one is a really crappy rip-off of the original XKCD comic (the second pic)
 
2013-10-17 02:24:34 PM

Sword and Shield: StRalphTheLiar: Meetings are my #1 time waster. At least my internet surfing occasionally results in something productive.

Same here. Even in medicine I can't escape it.

Big thing right now are huddles. They're supposed to be a ten minute quick meeting, reviewing the day's patients and what we, the docs, might need.

Problem is, I already do this. Every day my nurse gets a message with each patient listed and anything I need for her to do regarding labs, paperwork, et c. Making us stand there for a half hour "ten minute huddle" is useless.

What can I say? Every so often the director gets a new "efficiency" bug up his ass.


i'm having difficulty establishing what your profession is.
 
2013-10-17 02:29:49 PM
spamky : That first one is a really crappy rip-off of the original XKCD comic (the second pic)

I am well aware of that :P

// didn't find one for 'reloading data'
 
2013-10-17 02:39:16 PM

StRalphTheLiar: Meetings are my #1 time waster. At least my internet surfing occasionally results in something productive.


Meetings inhibit productivity.

Prairie Phoenix: Pooping on the clock is one of the few pleasures I have in life.


I see this has been covered. Moving on. . . I have to go drop the kids off at the pool.
 
2013-10-17 02:50:14 PM
List is missing taxidermy.
 
2013-10-17 02:54:23 PM
When going to the doctor is considered wasting time (according to TFA), either you got your priorities seriously screwed up or ... actually, there is no or.
 
2013-10-17 02:57:43 PM
I'm getting a kick because I have no work to do until the end of next week, when my job ends thanks to my shutting down. Been sitting around, bored out of my mind and goofing off for the past few days, but at least I'm getting paid for it.
Wish my work computer had internet access, but alas, no dice. Going to try and smuggle in my 3DS tomorrow, just for kicks.
 
2013-10-17 02:59:34 PM
Bumping nasty with the Portuguese cleaning lady

Is that wrong?  Should I not be doing that?
 
2013-10-17 02:59:37 PM
I lurked on Fark for a lot of years in our old building.  Now, I have a new office...and, hooo boy, Fark takes about 3 hours of my work day.
 
2013-10-17 02:59:50 PM
Thanks to my office shutting down.

/That'll teach me to preview next time I post.
//Or just blame my phone.
///Slashies make me happy.
 
2013-10-17 03:03:48 PM

lordargent: I went from this.

[phloatingman.files.wordpress.com image 413x360]

To this

[vladspears.com image 413x360]

// now my excuse is "data is reloading"


Is why I switched my dev shop to javascript, no more compiling.
 
2013-10-17 03:07:22 PM
I don't waste time searching the Internet. It actually is my job. And thinking about things outside of work is not "wasting time" in any way.
 
2013-10-17 03:21:36 PM
Ilordargent

used to have a boss that thought I had to compile web pages. Oh, how I miss that drunken in-at-8:30-gone-at-3:30 technically inept fellow.
 
2013-10-17 03:27:55 PM
Harry Freakstorm: used to have a boss that thought I had to compile web pages

In my days as a web developer, it was always "FTPing".
 
2013-10-17 03:32:15 PM
I'm annoyed that personal problems, distractions, and thinking about life are on the list. Frankly that's why our jobs aren't done by robots. Because shiat happens and we're humans.

/Grumpy
//Losing the best receptionist/office manager we ever had today
 
2013-10-17 03:49:26 PM
I used to get away with all napping at my desk by saying a hearty "AMEN," when approached.  But now I have a real, arsehat for a boss that insists I not f-off or we are going to lose those two luxuries eating & living indoors.  BTW, I am self-employed.  But hey my best employee, myself agrees with all my policies and laughs at my jokes.
 
2013-10-17 04:01:03 PM

JohnCarter: Bumping nasty with the Portuguese cleaning lady

Is that wrong?  Should I not be doing that?


Only if she's married.
 
2013-10-17 04:08:59 PM
To waste time at work I like to write in comment threads about articles about wasting time at work.
 
2013-10-17 04:27:35 PM

2xcited: BTW, I am self-employed. But hey my best employee, myself agrees with all my policies and laughs at my jokes.


I hate to break it to ya, but your "best employee" is stealing office supplies and farking your wife.
 
2013-10-17 04:56:41 PM

Quackadam: How about coming up with crap list that only cover 10 items of which most are duplicates of a previous one and the last one is an ad... Hmmmmmm


This.  What a pointless article.  Not interesting, informative, or entertaining in anyway.
 
2013-10-17 05:06:45 PM

geoduck42: JohnCarter: Bumping nasty with the Portuguese cleaning lady

Is that wrong?  Should I not be doing that?

Only if she's married.


missed the joke.
 
2013-10-17 10:01:56 PM
I almost never waste time at work.

I bill by the hour, and I feel that my clients deserve to have my full concentration on the project I'm working on, since they're paying through the nose for it.  I'll fark off when I'm not getting paid.

With a generous exception to all of that for progress bars.

/self employed.
 
2013-10-17 10:06:38 PM
I've never looked for a job for myself while at work...... But there was this one supervisor....

Okay, the guy was an ass. No one liked him. One day I happened to find his resume on the company server, So I submitted it to a head-hunter site.  Seven weeks later, The guy submits his resignation, He was all puffed up that they sought him out!
 
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