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(NYPost)   Geno Smith says he's going to be an elite quarterback. Subby says he's going to hit the Powerball and have a weeklong threesome with Scarlett Johansson and Kate Winslet in a kiddie pool full of artisanal boysenberry jam   (nypost.com) divider line 54
    More: Unlikely, Geno Smith, Dick LeBeau, Foxboro, Brett Favre, Kate Winslet, Scarlett Johansson, Joe Namath, Bill Belichick  
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356 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Oct 2013 at 10:08 AM (43 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-17 08:58:27 AM
He'll never be able to get a hold of artisanal boysenberry jam.
 
2013-10-17 09:30:31 AM
It's never gonna happen subby.  Scarlett and Kate have already promised to join me in a giant chocolate fountain at Golden Corral.
 
2013-10-17 09:48:59 AM
Submitter, I actually hope your plans come to fruition.
 
2013-10-17 10:12:08 AM
In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.  I don't know about elite, but he's already earned himself a job.
 
2013-10-17 10:13:27 AM
Can I give the obligatory Every Given Sunday reference I usually give in a Geno Smith thread?
 
2013-10-17 10:16:26 AM
Subby, I really like where your head is at.

...no, the one on your shoulders.

....no, the other one.
 
2013-10-17 10:21:03 AM

Arkanaut: In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.  I don't know about elite, but he's already earned himself a job.


I will hedge a bit though -- this is all assuming he doesn't get hammered to oblivion by the end of the season.  He's on track to get sacked crushed by 300-lb behemoths 56 times this season.
 
2013-10-17 10:21:32 AM
Why the hell not?  People said that Joe Montana would never make it as an NFL QB.  If he has the drive and determina .... wat?

the Jets?

really?

Oh ... never mind
 
2013-10-17 10:21:43 AM
You're wrong, subby. It's Scarlett Johansson and Alison Brie, it's a kiddie pool full of artisanal lime Jell-O, and it's me they're having the weeklong threesome with.
 
2013-10-17 10:29:10 AM
Sure would like to know what his teammates think of him.  He had a bad rep coming out of college.
 
2013-10-17 10:29:14 AM
Damn young people and their ambition and confidence.
 
2013-10-17 10:39:27 AM
That's the ticket
 
2013-10-17 10:39:52 AM
Very efficient plan stubby....this way you can disappoint two women in the same amount of time it usually take you to disappoint one.
 
2013-10-17 10:51:52 AM
An entire week?!  Don't you know how batshiat crazy actresses are?


Let's be more realistic here:

Subby says he's going to hit the Powerball and have a  weeklong threesome for a few hours with Scarlett Johansson and Kate Winslet in a kiddie pool full of artisanal boysenberry jam.

That's better.
 
2013-10-17 10:55:25 AM
I don't get the hate for Geno. He can be exactly as good as he wants to be.
 
2013-10-17 10:57:40 AM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: It's never gonna happen subby.  Scarlett and Kate have already promised to join me in a giant chocolate fountain at Golden Corral.


Ah, the sterile version of 2 girls, one cup with unlimited refills.
 
2013-10-17 10:58:41 AM
Well, you can't really blame Geno.  He's heard Eli described as "elite" by some people and thinks, "Hell, I can throw multiple picks per game.  What's the big deal?"
 
2013-10-17 11:04:58 AM
Scarlett Johansson yes, but really, Kate Winslet?  I mean, i get that she's still attractive and bonus for being willing to drop trou in just about every movie she does, but if we're fantasizing here, you can do a lot better...
 
2013-10-17 11:11:06 AM
Weird.  Replace "Kate Winslet" with "Sophia Vergara" and subby and I have the same depraved fantasies.
 
2013-10-17 11:19:27 AM
Never use anything that would include seeds - they get stuck in places.

Also, always make sure the jar of honey is closed, because you WILL find a way to knock it off the shelf, no matter how careful you think you are.
 
2013-10-17 11:30:24 AM
Weird.  Replace "Kiddy Pool" with "basement" and "artisanal boysenberry jam" with "duct tape" and subby and I have the same depraved fantasies.
 
2013-10-17 11:38:47 AM

Arkanaut: In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.


By what metric?
 
2013-10-17 11:39:05 AM

Arkanaut: In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.  I don't know about elite, but he's already earned himself a job.


Geno won playoff games on the road? In New England?
Seriously though, recent pictures of a pregnant Kate Winslet and her mommy cans are out there, and they are magnificent.
 
2013-10-17 11:39:36 AM

HotWingConspiracy: Arkanaut: In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.

By what metric?


And you're not allowed to divide by buttfumble.
 
2013-10-17 11:49:53 AM

HotWingConspiracy: Arkanaut: In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.

By what metric?


Yards per attempt, completion percentage, touchdown percentage, QB rating.  You know, all of the stats that you might hold a QB personally responsible for (i.e. not wins that came on the backs of your running game and defense).  Geno does seem to be taking more sacks, but keep in mind that Sanchez had an all-Pro-Bowl lineup in front of him his first year.  Also, he seems to be actually capable of completing passes beyond 20 yards.

In review Sanchez actually looked halfway decent in 2011, but even looking at that year alone he doesn't live up to his "Sanchize" moniker.
 
2013-10-17 11:53:41 AM

funk_soul_bubby: I don't get the hate for Geno. He can be exactly as good as he wants to be.


He's unfortunately got the Tracy McGrady sleepy eyes.  Makes him look lazy.
 
2013-10-17 11:56:34 AM

Arkanaut: HotWingConspiracy: Arkanaut: In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.

By what metric?

Yards per attempt, completion percentage, touchdown percentage, QB rating.  You know, all of the stats that you might hold a QB personally responsible for (i.e. not wins that came on the backs of your running game and defense).  Geno does seem to be taking more sacks, but keep in mind that Sanchez had an all-Pro-Bowl lineup in front of him his first year.  Also, he seems to be actually capable of completing passes beyond 20 yards.

In review Sanchez actually looked halfway decent in 2011, but even looking at that year alone he doesn't live up to his "Sanchize" moniker.


He's only played six games though. I realize the numbers are what they are today, but it's too early for this declaration.
 
2013-10-17 12:09:56 PM
Change that to Bea Arthur and Rosanne Barr and change to ketchup and I am right there with you subby.
 
2013-10-17 12:29:31 PM
*Only* a threesome?

Dream small, Stubby.
 
2013-10-17 12:32:13 PM

HotWingConspiracy: He's only played six games though. I realize the numbers are what they are today, but it's too early for this declaration.


It's pretty early, but already I think we can say Geno's ceiling is higher.  Sanchez didn't have his first 300-yard game until the middle of his second season; Geno's already got one under his belt.  Sanchez completed more than 60% of his passes all of three times in his first season; Geno already has matched that in 6 games (i.e. in half his starts).  Sanchez STILL -- in 4 years -- doesn't have a game where he threw for more than 10 yards per attempt, and Geno's got one, and came a yard short of that mark in the Atlanta game.

I know Geno still makes plenty of stupid mistakes, but I don't think you can look at him and still think Sanchez is the better choice.  Especially having watched Sanchez for four years (and the last two miserable years), and knowing he's making twenty times as much money.  Even on his good days, Sanchez rarely wows you; Geno can make one or two "wow" throws every game.

It could very well be that Geno Smith never becomes an "elite" player like Russell Wilson and Andrew Luck; but I think he could at least be Sanchez plus a better arm, or Vinny with better legs (I couldn't really compare him to Pennington -- their games are too different).  He could be just enough to get the Jets to the playoffs.  I guess we'll see how he compares then.
 
2013-10-17 01:33:33 PM
Weird, replace "Scarlett Johansson and Kate Winslet" with "Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson" and replace "kiddie pool full of artisanal boysenberry jam" with "a tournament at Augusta National", and subby and my father have the same depraved sports related fantasies.
 
2013-10-17 01:35:32 PM
LOL @ the Geno Smith fan brigade. He sucks just as much as Sanchez, if not moreso. His stats are currently thrown off quite a bit by one miracle game against the Falcons.

Take that game out of the mix (the only game he hasn't thrown an INT, so I think we can safely say that it's probably the outlier) and he's got a passer rating of 64.

The Jets have to win without a competent offense. That's how they've had to try to do it their whole existence.
 
2013-10-17 02:00:47 PM

IAmRight: LOL @ the Geno Smith fan brigade. He sucks just as much as Sanchez, if not moreso. His stats are currently thrown off quite a bit by one miracle game against the Falcons.


So "if you take out his good games, he's terrible." trenchant observation there.
 
2013-10-17 02:11:31 PM
LucklessWonder: trenchant observation there.

Learned a new word today, thanks!

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-17 02:41:03 PM

LucklessWonder: So "if you take out his good games, he's terrible." trenchant observation there.


Good game (singular). If you leave it in, he's also terrible. But less so.
 
2013-10-17 02:54:54 PM
I love watching Jets fans think they've got the next Broadway Joe on deck, only to realize three years on that it was just another Bubba Brister scenario.
 
2013-10-17 03:13:46 PM

H31N0US: I love watching Jets fans think they've got the next Broadway Joe on deck, only to realize three years on that it was just another Bubba Brister scenario.


I am related to Jets fans....they need something, man.
 
2013-10-17 03:22:32 PM

IAmRight: LucklessWonder: So "if you take out his good games, he's terrible." trenchant observation there.

Good game (singular). If you leave it in, he's also terrible. But less so.


The Buffalo game was pretty good too, I thought.
 
2013-10-17 03:24:10 PM

H31N0US: I love watching Jets fans think they've got the next Broadway Joe on deck, only to realize three years on that it was just another Bubba Brister scenario.


Well Joe Namath did throw like 50 more INTs than TDs and completed 50% of his passes, so they probably do have another Broadway Joe on deck.
 
2013-10-17 03:33:12 PM
Can't you just have normal, mind-blowing sex with them in a bedroom without the need for food items? I mean, that's what I do with Scarlett and Kate and they haven't complained yet.
 
2013-10-17 03:36:58 PM

Prairie Phoenix: Can't you just have normal, mind-blowing sex with them in a bedroom without the need for food items? I mean, that's what I do with Scarlett and Kate and they haven't complained yet.


The logistics of it are all off anyway. Most women aren't huge fans of cramming sugar up their vaginas anyway.
 
2013-10-17 03:48:19 PM
There's not enough artisanal boysenberry jam in all of Brooklyn.
 
2013-10-17 04:05:38 PM

RoyHobbs22: Arkanaut: In his first year, Geno's already better than Sanchez was in any of his four years.  I don't know about elite, but he's already earned himself a job.

Geno won playoff games on the road? In New England?
Seriously though, recent pictures of a pregnant Kate Winslet and her mommy cans are out there, and they are magnificent.


www.eonline.com
Yes, yes they are.
 
2013-10-17 04:07:49 PM
Jets are strong on the defensive and offensive lines, that will cover up a lot of other weaknesses
 
2013-10-17 04:21:00 PM

H31N0US: I love watching Jets fans think they've got the next Broadway Joe on deck, only to realize three years on that it was just another Bubba Brister scenario.


I'd like to meet these Jets fans. They seem to be the antithesis of the ones I'm surrounded by. Most of my fellow Jesters are usually waiting for the epic moment of fail to come. Granted I became a Jets fan in the mid 80s and only rooted for them because my favorite color was green.

Geno Smith may be (marginally) better than the dirty Sanchize at times, but being a slightly less smelly pile of crap is still a pile of crap. I'll give him a rating of "meh" until he can prove he's better than Sanchez at not turning the ball over every game.

/lifelong pessimist and masochist aka Jets and Mets fan.
 
2013-10-17 04:42:40 PM

Arkanaut: The Buffalo game was pretty good too, I thought.


Well, sorta. We wouldn't really consider 55% completion percentage and a 1:1 TD:INT ratio good for an actual good QB. You could make the argument here about Peyton Manning's rookie year, but let's not pretend the league hasn't become really, really, really passing-friendly since 1998.

/TREYGREEN13 I HAVE A GREAT TRIVIA QUESTION FOR YOU IF THE STATISTIC HOLDS: There are three teams that have not had a single DPI called on an opponent thus far this season. Who are they?
 
2013-10-17 04:44:14 PM
Dammit, I screwed up. There are four teams that haven't had DPI called against an opponent. So now one of them can get a call and it's still a viable question!
 
2013-10-17 04:55:32 PM

IAmRight: Arkanaut: The Buffalo game was pretty good too, I thought.

Well, sorta. We wouldn't really consider 55% completion percentage and a 1:1 TD:INT ratio good for an actual good QB. You could make the argument here about Peyton Manning's rookie year, but let's not pretend the league hasn't become really, really, really passing-friendly since 1998.

/TREYGREEN13 I HAVE A GREAT TRIVIA QUESTION FOR YOU IF THE STATISTIC HOLDS: There are three teams that have not had a single DPI called on an opponent thus far this season. Who are they?


Luckily I have a website for that. And you know, they make sense considering the fact that none of those teams are exactly terrifying passing teams.

Did you see who hasn't commited DPI yet? Actually really surprising.
 
2013-10-17 04:59:39 PM

Treygreen13: Luckily I have a website for that. And you know, they make sense considering the fact that none of those teams are exactly terrifying passing teams.


Oh I was going based on the QBs who haven't had them called for them. Three of them make sense. One of them doesn't.
 
2013-10-17 05:03:49 PM

IAmRight: Treygreen13: Luckily I have a website for that. And you know, they make sense considering the fact that none of those teams are exactly terrifying passing teams.

Oh I was going based on the QBs who haven't had them called for them. Three of them make sense. One of them doesn't.


Well, yeah, that one doesn't. But the Pack have been actually closer to balanced this year.

Not shocking at all - Eli Manning has been the beneficiary of the most DPI calls this year.
 
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