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(Metro)   Chooky Wooky the blind chicken plucked from the jaws of death by woman who spent three hours performing CPR after the bird fell in a swimming pool   (metro.co.uk) divider line 32
    More: Hero, CPR  
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2461 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Oct 2013 at 9:33 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-16 09:15:52 PM
www.cultofweird.com

Mike the Headless Chicken approves.
 
2013-10-16 09:36:35 PM
so she blew a cock?
 
2013-10-16 09:37:52 PM
...it's a chicken.  There are MANY more out there that look just like it.
 
2013-10-16 09:41:12 PM
this is bullshiat, cpr doesn't bring anything "back to life" especially not after 3 hours.
 
2013-10-16 09:42:17 PM
Who the fark saves a chicken.

Not just for later, I mean.
 
2013-10-16 09:45:36 PM
I totally believe it.  I know you can choke a chicken for hours, and the worst that's gonna happen is you might have a mess on your hands afterwards.
 
2013-10-16 09:49:00 PM

shaddix: this is bullshiat, cpr doesn't bring anything "back to life" especially not after 3 hours.


Three hours in a smoker can, however, turn a chicken into something angelic.
 
2013-10-16 09:53:13 PM

shaddix: this is bullshiat, cpr doesn't bring anything "back to life" especially not after 3 hours.


I bet you're no fun at cock fights.
 
2013-10-16 10:01:31 PM

bborchar: ...it's a chicken.  There are MANY more out there that look just like it.


"This is my chicken. There are many others like it but this one is mine."
 
2013-10-16 10:05:52 PM
I wouldn't even spend three hours making chicken soup.
 
2013-10-16 10:08:10 PM
"Chooky Wooky" - 99% chance Austrialia... check story... yup.
 
2013-10-16 10:10:06 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-10-16 10:23:14 PM

MrHappyRotter: I totally believe it.  I know you can choke a chicken for hours, and the worst that's gonna happen is you might have a mess on your hands afterwards.


winner
 
2013-10-16 10:24:21 PM
Chlorine is not a good marinade.
 
2013-10-16 10:24:59 PM
At first, after only reading the headline and noticing the Hero tag, i was going to comment about blowing the 'cock of the infinite' for 3 hours instead of just making dinner. Then i read TFA.

/i am such a dick.
 
2013-10-16 10:42:10 PM
3 hours? It would have been on my plate and half eaten by then.

www.grillingcompanion.com
 
2013-10-16 10:44:44 PM

SwiftFox: "Chooky Wooky" - 99% chance Austrialia... check story... yup.


I suggest a new strategy, R2D2. Let the Chooky Wooky win!
 
2013-10-16 11:04:23 PM
I know this story for all it's truth and glory. The Chicken God is not a demanding god, but a persistent one nonetheless. Choke it's earthly manifestations all you want. They may vomit, they may go limp, but always they will rise again.
 
2013-10-16 11:21:33 PM

fusillade762: Mike the Headless Chicken approves.


Winner winner!
In for Mike, leaving satisified.

/done in one
 
2013-10-16 11:47:25 PM
We used to have a blind rooster that had previously lived as a fighting cock. That fugger was a mean sonnofabich. He did one of exactly three things whenever he came into contact with something: peck at it (if it was food or water); mount it (if it was a hen); or flip out and attack (anything else). It died of old age, much later than anyone expected.
 
2013-10-16 11:51:17 PM

Good for her
Not going to knock what she did

Just saying that this would
Have been the results
If it were me
In that situation

i877.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-16 11:56:17 PM

aremmes: We used to have a blind rooster that had previously lived as a fighting cock. That fugger was a mean sonnofabich. He did one of exactly three things whenever he came into contact with something: peck at it (if it was food or water); mount it (if it was a hen); or flip out and attack (anything else). It died of old age, much later than anyone expected.


If it were a mammal, it would have been a ninja.
 
2013-10-17 12:12:00 AM
I'm glad Chooky Wooky the blind rooster is ok.
 
2013-10-17 12:23:53 AM
So... that's *ONE* the GOTP didn't get.
 
2013-10-17 12:28:23 AM
Three hours?

Does it lay golden eggs?

I'm all for humanity to animals and our other dumb chums but when you can buy a fully ready-to-cook chicken for $6.00, more or less, wring the poor thing's neck, toss it in the bin and spend the time saved earning enough money to replace it several times over.

Doctors call it triage. Why spend so much time and resources to save one chicken? The resources are finite, the need infinite. Cut your losses and go for a utilitarian greatest good of the greatest number. It's not your grandmother. It's a bird that can, at the limit, play tic-tac-toe about as well as a cheap calculator.

When I see somebody spend tens of thousands of dollars saving a cat or dog, I think they might be better spent saving a gorilla or a rhino instead. Not only are many animals virtually fungible as far as personality goes, but they are in fact very cheaply replaced.

Perhaps a belovèd pet who seems like a member of the family might be worth the effort and cost subjectively if not objectively, but only if it has more intelligence and personality than a toaster oven.
 
2013-10-17 01:49:38 AM

brantgoose: Three hours?

Does it lay golden eggs?


Apparently her autistic daughter has a "special bond" with the chicken.

download.roro44.com
 
2013-10-17 02:03:29 AM

Confoundit: brantgoose: Three hours?

Does it lay golden eggs?

Apparently her autistic daughter has a "special bond" with the chicken.


I still don't think that justifies saving the damn thing. The average lifespan of a backyard chicken is 5-6 years which is why I think they make terrible therapy animals. Why would you want your kids suffering heartache in that brief amount of time? Get a parrot if she bonds well with birds, they can live for 30+years.

Anyway I have backyard hens and I know two things: chickens are stupid and violent. The like me as food provider, but so far have killed 4 mice and a raven this month alone. However there is a whole sect of chicken enthusiasts that would have you believe chickens are these saintly creatures whose intelligence rivals that of dogs and are as empathetic as chimps. I have yet to see those qualities. There is a reason I still eat chicken and lots of it. Though I do source meats from ethical suppliers now as they deserve to live a life eating bugs on a pasture rather than forcefed crap in cramped living conditions.
 
2013-10-17 05:34:33 AM
Q. What did the blind chicken pluck from the jaws of death?

A. I don't know, subby didn't finish the headline.
 
2013-10-17 08:16:52 AM
Keep farking that chicken
 
2013-10-17 08:19:48 AM
 
2013-10-17 01:26:53 PM
three hours

At what point do you think "an hour has passed, still no success, better keep going!!" "two hours, I still believe! better keep trying!"

three hours? THREE? what the great googly goddamned fark would compell you to do that for three hours? Even if it was my own kid, I'm pretty sure at the half hour mark, shiat ain't happening, so check the watch, sign the time on the dotted line.
 
2013-10-17 06:37:20 PM
Chooky Wooky kept alive for Halloween BBQ.
 
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