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(Thrillist)   Eleven stories of winning lifetime supplies of various products, and what they actually received. Although at two Whoppers a day every day 365 days a year, I don't expect "for a lifetime" to mean exactly what she thought it did   (thrillist.com) divider line 85
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7703 clicks; posted to Business » on 16 Oct 2013 at 1:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-16 01:24:08 PM  
mcgarnagle.files.wordpress.com

'And what about the Neverending Story?'
 
2013-10-16 01:26:45 PM  
Stupid lady lost her whopper card!!!! I would like the krispy kreme one. I would bring them to the office and be made a god.
 
2013-10-16 01:30:26 PM  

groppet: Stupid lady lost her whopper card!!!! I would like the krispy kreme one. I would bring them to the office and be made a god.


I like it.  Work the way up the ladder by killing everyone else in the company....
 
2013-10-16 01:31:52 PM  
The Krispy Kreme one would be awesome.. for a while... then the diabetus wouldnt be nearly as fun.  I'd imagine that unless it was literally on the way to work after a while I'd just give up driving out of my way for 5000 calories in a box.
 
2013-10-16 01:49:30 PM  
So this is a fark thread that links to a thrillist that links to reddit posts.
 
2013-10-16 01:57:00 PM  

groppet: Stupid lady lost her whopper card!!!! I would like the krispy kreme one. I would bring them to the office and be made a god.


THIS.  I would be the Best. Boss. EVAR, if I brought in a dozen of those farkers every morning.
 
2013-10-16 01:58:01 PM  
Winning Thread Comment: "Can you imagine how hard you'd need to pee? You could shoot down helicopters with that kind of pressure."

So TFA writer let their 10 y/o son pick the winning comments?
 
2013-10-16 01:58:27 PM  
Yeah, when I lived in Flag, the local theatre was giving away a "Year's Supply of Pepsi" in assorted popcorn containers. I think a "year's supply" turned out to be a dozen coupons for a case of Pepsi. Not really impressive. Lucky my roommates and I ended up scoring about 6 of these... :-)
 
2013-10-16 02:08:20 PM  
FTA:
"Although, to be fair, most of that weight was from the various rusty bolts hidden inside the ice cream."

What's this guy's fark handle?

Also, that other dude went through TWO PALLETS of root berr in a month? Even with buddies over, holy fark... 8 cases a day?
 
2013-10-16 02:10:59 PM  
CSB:

When I was a kid I had a neighbor who had figured out how a number of these contests worked.  He had won a number of prizes through "no purchase necessary" sweepstakes.  the biggest one was a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper.  Because he didn't want his over active son slurping up an near unlimited supply of sugary soda, he requested it all be Diet.  This was the early 80's.  he had a garage full of Blue diet DP cans that no one wanted.  he couldn't give the stuff away.
 
2013-10-16 02:15:41 PM  

severedtoe: CSB:

When I was a kid I had a neighbor who had figured out how a number of these contests worked.  He had won a number of prizes through "no purchase necessary" sweepstakes.  the biggest one was a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper.  Because he didn't want his over active son slurping up an near unlimited supply of sugary soda, he requested it all be Diet.  This was the early 80's.  he had a garage full of Blue diet DP cans that no one wanted.  he couldn't give the stuff away.


img.fark.net
 
2013-10-16 02:23:24 PM  
I think I've eaten about 5 boxes of Mac N Cheese since I left my parents house. Aversion therapy theory would tell you that 125 boxes, before they expire and taste like cardboard, would be the right amount to make you never touch another box.
 
2013-10-16 02:27:57 PM  

The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: severedtoe: CSB:



he was a lot like that.  He had weird smarts.  In cub scouts he taught us how to make a speaker out of a refrigerator magnet and a pair of paper plates.  Damn things worked too.
 
2013-10-16 02:38:26 PM  
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-16 02:39:19 PM  

severedtoe: The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight: severedtoe: CSB:


he was a lot like that.  He had weird smarts.  In cub scouts he taught us how to make a speaker out of a refrigerator magnet and a pair of paper plates.  Damn things worked too.


They should, since that's what speakers are.

Still, I imagine this was well before the Intertubes were a thing, so a kid picking that up is kind of impressive.
 
2013-10-16 02:47:49 PM  
I once won a lifetime supply of SweeTarts when I was a kid but never collected the prize.  My mom tossed the winning wrapper because free candy forever was the last thing my tubby, cavity-prone body needed.

... she did let me be a Bubbalicious taste tester though.  They only ever sent me grape.
 
2013-10-16 03:03:58 PM  
I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...
 
2013-10-16 03:12:39 PM  

Peki: I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...


Sounds more like 2 lifetimes.
 
2013-10-16 03:12:55 PM  

Peki: I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...


Ya just gotta reuse them.
 
2013-10-16 03:13:29 PM  
Mikey1969: Also, that other dude went through TWO PALLETS of root berr in a month? Even with buddies over, holy fark... 8 cases a day?

www.theartsypalette.com
He probably had a helluva time balancing them, and they fell to the floor and broke.
 
2013-10-16 03:14:35 PM  

Mister Buttons: [i.imgur.com image 512x384]

[i.imgur.com image 850x647]


Mmmmmm!  The peanut's all warm and toasty!
 
2013-10-16 03:28:14 PM  
My parents won one of those 'win a year's supply!' contests about five years ago: A top of the line washer/dryer set and a year's supply of Tide detergent (12 bottles each of regular Tide and Tide Free). They finally finished the Tide Free last year and are starting in on the regular Tide.

/who the hell goes through 2 bottles of detergent a month?
//wish my car was the color of the washer/dryer - they're a gorgeous candy apple red with shiny chrome accents
 
2013-10-16 03:38:08 PM  

Peki: I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...


That's 3 times a month. What are you, some kind of sex fiend?
 
2013-10-16 03:40:40 PM  

severedtoe: CSB:

When I was a kid I had a neighbor who had figured out how a number of these contests worked.  He had won a number of prizes through "no purchase necessary" sweepstakes.  the biggest one was a lifetime supply of Dr. Pepper.  Because he didn't want his over active son slurping up an near unlimited supply of sugary soda, he requested it all be Diet.  This was the early 80's.  he had a garage full of Blue diet DP cans that no one wanted.  he couldn't give the stuff away.


I tried Dr Pepper Zero a couple of months ago, reasoning they have had decades to work on it, so it can't be too bad by now. Still traumatized.
 
2013-10-16 03:43:19 PM  

severedtoe: he was a lot like that. He had weird smarts. In cub scouts he taught us how to make a speaker out of a refrigerator magnet and a pair of paper plates. Damn things worked too.


Who needs magnets? I once made a speaker out of an empty potato chip bag.
 
2013-10-16 03:47:11 PM  
It would suck to get a huge shipment of some soft drink. That shiat goes bad faster than you would think. Every time I go to the in-laws I wind up drink the Diet Coke that they "saved for me" that is about six months past the expiration date. That crap is like drinking battery acid.
 
2013-10-16 03:50:23 PM  
This is how the Krispy Kreme one should have read

Krispy Kreme
What They Actually Got:  Diabetes.
 
2013-10-16 04:05:05 PM  

GameSprocket: It would suck to get a huge shipment of some soft drink. That shiat goes bad faster than you would think. Every time I go to the in-laws I wind up drink the  Diet Coke that they "saved for me" that is about six months past the expiration date. That crap  is like drinking battery acid.


ftfy
 
2013-10-16 04:13:58 PM  

ongbok: Peki: I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...

That's 3 times a month. What are you, some kind of sex fiend?


Guilty as charged, but at least I don't have crotchfruit you're paying for!
 
2013-10-16 04:16:30 PM  

Peki: ongbok: Peki: I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...

That's 3 times a month. What are you, some kind of sex fiend?

Guilty as charged, but at least I don't have crotchfruit you're paying for!


36 would last an average farker decades
 
2013-10-16 04:18:12 PM  
Ivo Shandor:

Who needs magnets? I once made a speaker out of an empty potato chip bag.

For a kid in the early 80's any kind of household engineering was MacGuiver magic.  He also hacked into his Atari 2600.  Most of that stuff didn't work so good, but we were still impressed.

It was like we had our own socially awkward Mr. Wizard living down the street.
 
2013-10-16 04:23:15 PM  

severedtoe: Ivo Shandor:

Who needs magnets? I once made a speaker out of an empty potato chip bag.

For a kid in the early 80's any kind of household engineering was MacGuiver magic.  He also hacked into his Atari 2600.  Most of that stuff didn't work so good, but we were still impressed.

It was like we had our own socially awkward Mr. Wizard living down the street.


As opposed to the TV Mr. Wizard, who was a dick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkJEt1UsUcs
 
2013-10-16 04:26:28 PM  

groppet: Peki: ongbok: Peki: I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...

That's 3 times a month. What are you, some kind of sex fiend?

Guilty as charged, but at least I don't have crotchfruit you're paying for!

36 would last an average farker decades


I'm female. I have a genetic advantage over most Farkers.
 
2013-10-16 04:29:22 PM  

Little Nikke: My parents won one of those 'win a year's supply!' contests about five years ago: A top of the line washer/dryer set and a year's supply of Tide detergent (12 bottles each of regular Tide and Tide Free). They finally finished the Tide Free last year and are starting in on the regular Tide.

/who the hell goes through 2 bottles of detergent a month?
//wish my car was the color of the washer/dryer - they're a gorgeous candy apple red with shiny chrome accents


People who follow the directions on the bottle, which state "Use 1/4 bottle per load".
 
2013-10-16 04:30:22 PM  

Fizpez: The Krispy Kreme one would be awesome.. for a while... then the diabetus wouldnt be nearly as fun.  I'd imagine that unless it was literally on the way to work after a while I'd just give up driving out of my way for 5000 calories in a box.


It would cause a riot where I work.  We have over 30 people here.  It would be worth it!
 
2013-10-16 04:53:07 PM  
CSB:

When I was a little kid (5 or 6, I think), my sister and I (livibng in Georgia with our dad) went to Disneyland with our mother (who was stationed at El Paso, TX). I let my sister cut in front of me in line. She went through the gate and set off all kinds of bells and alarms. Turns out she was some special number of guest to enter the part since opening (1 million? 10 million, a bajillion...I don't remember). They gave her a silver ticket, good at any Disney facility anywhere in the worls, for 200 years. She never got a chance to use it...our house burned down with the ticket inside.
 
2013-10-16 04:55:05 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: CSB:

When I was a little kid (5 or 6, I think), my sister and I (livibng in Georgia with our dad) went to Disneyland with our mother (who was stationed at El Paso, TX). I let my sister cut in front of me in line. She went through the gate and set off all kinds of bells and alarms. Turns out she was some special number of guest to enter the part since opening (1 million? 10 million, a bajillion...I don't remember). They gave her a silver ticket, good at any Disney facility anywhere in the worls, for 200 years. She never got a chance to use it...our house burned down with the ticket inside.


That wasn't Disneyland, that was Juarez!
 
2013-10-16 04:55:08 PM  
When Mrs Clam's father was really close to dying of cancer and in hospice care, we were doing some shopping for him. I held up a four-pack of toilet paper and said to her "Hey, lifetime supply."

/She married me anyway.
 
2013-10-16 04:55:44 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: CSB:

When I was a little kid (5 or 6, I think), my sister and I (living in Georgia with our dad) went to Disneyland with our mother (who was stationed at El Paso, TX). I let my sister cut in front of me in line. She went through the gate and set off all kinds of bells and alarms. Turns out she was some special number of guest to enter the park since opening (1 million? 10 million, a bajillion...I don't remember). They gave her a silver ticket, good at any Disney facility anywhere in the world, for 200 years. She never got a chance to use it...our house burned down with the ticket inside.


Fixed that for my fat, sausage-like fingers...
 
2013-10-16 04:58:37 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: CSB:

When I was a little kid (5 or 6, I think), my sister and I (livibng in Georgia with our dad) went to Disneyland with our mother (who was stationed at El Paso, TX). I let my sister cut in front of me in line. She went through the gate and set off all kinds of bells and alarms. Turns out she was some special number of guest to enter the part since opening (1 million? 10 million, a bajillion...I don't remember). They gave her a silver ticket, good at any Disney facility anywhere in the worls, for 200 years. She never got a chance to use it...our house burned down with the ticket inside.


Wow, that last sentence looked like it was going to be horribly sad but ended up relievingly less sad.
 
2013-10-16 05:05:48 PM  

Mikey1969: FTA:
"Although, to be fair, most of that weight was from the various rusty bolts hidden inside the ice cream."

What's this guy's fark handle?

Also, that other dude went through TWO PALLETS of root berr in a month? Even with buddies over, holy fark... 8 cases a day?


The Vatican has had similar problems: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb5UBbw-dF4
 
2013-10-16 05:19:59 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: Sin_City_Superhero: CSB:

When I was a little kid (5 or 6, I think), my sister and I (livibng in Georgia with our dad) went to Disneyland with our mother (who was stationed at El Paso, TX). I let my sister cut in front of me in line. She went through the gate and set off all kinds of bells and alarms. Turns out she was some special number of guest to enter the part since opening (1 million? 10 million, a bajillion...I don't remember). They gave her a silver ticket, good at any Disney facility anywhere in the worls, for 200 years. She never got a chance to use it...our house burned down with the ticket inside.

Wow, that last sentence looked like it was going to be horribly sad but ended up relievingly less sad.


To be fair...you don't know my sister.
 
2013-10-16 05:33:07 PM  
Make fark.com redirect to reddit.com and be done with it.
 
2013-10-16 06:08:32 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: So this is a fark thread that links to a thrillist that links to reddit posts.


I'm posting it to Facebook, so I can read it later.
 
2013-10-16 06:12:36 PM  
Did Fark just link to an aggregator that repackaged Reddit content?

It's like a Mobius strip of internet sharing.
 
2013-10-16 06:18:09 PM  

Kraftwerk Orange: Debeo Summa Credo: So this is a fark thread that links to a thrillist that links to reddit posts.

I'm posting it to Facebook, so I can read it later.


That's *SO* ending up on a Gawker "Failbook" list.
 
2013-10-16 06:22:40 PM  

severedtoe: Ivo Shandor:

Who needs magnets? I once made a speaker out of an empty potato chip bag.

For a kid in the early 80's any kind of household engineering was MacGuiver magic.  He also hacked into his Atari 2600.  Most of that stuff didn't work so good, but we were still impressed.

It was like we had our own socially awkward Mr. Wizard living down the street.


Yeah, the neighborhood teenagers always love hanging out with the quiet, awkward guy down the street with his own converted basement. Do go on.
 
2013-10-16 06:24:13 PM  

mcreadyblue: Sin_City_Superhero: CSB:

When I was a little kid (5 or 6, I think), my sister and I (livibng in Georgia with our dad) went to Disneyland with our mother (who was stationed at El Paso, TX). I let my sister cut in front of me in line. She went through the gate and set off all kinds of bells and alarms. Turns out she was some special number of guest to enter the part since opening (1 million? 10 million, a bajillion...I don't remember). They gave her a silver ticket, good at any Disney facility anywhere in the worls, for 200 years. She never got a chance to use it...our house burned down with the ticket inside.

That wasn't Disneyland, that was Juarez!


I understand. Houses in Juarez burn down a lot.
 
2013-10-16 06:26:49 PM  

GameSprocket: It would suck to get a huge shipment of some soft drink. That shiat goes bad faster than you would think. Every time I go to the in-laws I wind up drink the Diet Coke that they "saved for me" that is about six months past the expiration date. That crap is like drinking battery acid.


I could have written that exact paragraph. Weird.
 
2013-10-16 06:27:37 PM  

Peki: groppet: Peki: ongbok: Peki: I had to laugh at the KK comment, because that was the exact same thought I had.

/fun fact: The state of California thinks a year's supply of condoms is 36...

That's 3 times a month. What are you, some kind of sex fiend?

Guilty as charged, but at least I don't have crotchfruit you're paying for!

36 would last an average farker decades

I'm female. I have a genetic advantage over most Farkers.


Being unfunny isn't an advantage
 
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