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(Slate)   Does giving your child candy mean that you are enabling a future life of drug addiction? And, further, would that make you a bad parent?   (slate.com) divider line 110
    More: Stupid, jelly beans, popsicles, parents  
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2703 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2013 at 1:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-15 12:25:14 PM  
I had already promised my daughter she could have some candy-and to be honest, I like jelly beans, too-so we snuck out to the patio to enjoy our illicit treat. As we ate, though, I couldn't help but think, What if I'm wrong? Candy is certainly not a "healthy" snack. But there I was, letting my 3-year-old eat the jelly beans, encouraging her, even. My own mother wouldn't have let me have them, that's for sure-my childhood home was a no-candy zone. Maybe I was a bad mother.

Jesus Christ, get some perspective.
 
2013-10-15 12:49:47 PM  
Everyone knows that Pop Rocks lead to heroin.
 
2013-10-15 12:52:25 PM  
Gary sounds like a dick.
 
2013-10-15 12:53:37 PM  
OMG we're doomed as a society if this is how parents think now.


In other non-news, Breaking Bad Candy is the new candy cigarette.
thecandylady.com
 
2013-10-15 12:54:20 PM  
When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.
 
2013-10-15 01:10:16 PM  

Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.


I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.
 
2013-10-15 01:12:13 PM  

NutWrench: I had already promised my daughter she could have some candy-and to be honest, I like jelly beans, too-so we snuck out to the patio to enjoy our illicit treat. As we ate, though, I couldn't help but think, What if I'm wrong? Candy is certainly not a "healthy" snack. But there I was, letting my 3-year-old eat the jelly beans, encouraging her, even. My own mother wouldn't have let me have them, that's for sure-my childhood home was a no-candy zone. Maybe I was a bad mother.

Jesus Christ, get some perspective.



Teaching your kid to sneak and "shame eat" sugar?  Yes, I'd say you're a pretty bad mother.  How about just moderation and no sneaking around?
 
2013-10-15 01:15:24 PM  
Everything is a little bit better when you sneak it.
 
2013-10-15 01:26:42 PM  

miss diminutive: I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.


Truly we are the Afflicted Generation.
 
2013-10-15 02:02:22 PM  
I hate most candy...but I farking LOVE marujuana.


/Theory debunked
//Go back to what you were doing
 
2013-10-15 02:04:08 PM  
See, that's why my folks just skipped and gave me drugs.
 
2013-10-15 02:05:01 PM  

miss diminutive: Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.

I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.


Woah, they'll give me something for that????
 
2013-10-15 02:06:03 PM  
No, and no.

/Thanks for playing.
 
2013-10-15 02:06:14 PM  
Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween. People spread half-truths, conjecture and outright lies every year around this time. "Don't take your kid trick-or-treating, because [candy addiction / poison / razor blades / terrorist attack  / devil worship / kidnapping / other terrible thing] might happen." A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.

For fark's sake, when the members of the Anti-Fun League gets their little pea-brains focused on something, they're like a dog with an old sock. They won't stop tearing away at it until it's just a mess of slobbery shreds.
 
2013-10-15 02:06:51 PM  

Combustion: miss diminutive: Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.

I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.

Woah, they'll give me something for that????


Not now. You've already given it away for free.
 
2013-10-15 02:07:50 PM  
I have absolutely no desire to eat candy. As soon as I reached adulthood my sweet tooth disappeared. It's something I really notice about fat people though - they crave candy like a three-year-old.
 
2013-10-15 02:08:24 PM  
No and no.

Teach your child about moderation and he'll thank you for it later.
 
2013-10-15 02:09:56 PM  

GreenAdder: A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.


I dunno, maybe if you met these kids, there's a reason.
 
2013-10-15 02:10:06 PM  
Oh, please, I bought candy with my spare quarters when I was a kid and I turned out OK. Most people do. What is wrong with parents these days!?


/My parents were not great parents, but not because they gave me candy.
 
2013-10-15 02:10:29 PM  
Again, when the headline is a question, the answer is always


img.fark.net
 
2013-10-15 02:11:14 PM  

Girl Sailor: Combustion: miss diminutive: Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.

I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.

Woah, they'll give me something for that????

Not now. You've already given it away for free.


Good thing, too. If they pay you for it, you're a whore. If you give it away, you're just a slut.
 
2013-10-15 02:11:33 PM  
Sugar is a gate way drug!!
 
2013-10-15 02:12:39 PM  
candy, a gateway food....

scm-l3.technorati.com

/oblig
 
2013-10-15 02:13:38 PM  

Russ1642: I have absolutely no desire to eat candy. As soon as I reached adulthood my sweet tooth disappeared. It's something I really notice about fat people though - they crave candy like a three-year-old.


Yep.  I hate candy, brownies, ice cream and the like.  But that's probably because I love drinking beer so much.
 
2013-10-15 02:14:35 PM  
Sugar isn't the problem, it's the petroleum based dyes, flavors and sweeteners that are the problem.
 
2013-10-15 02:15:35 PM  
Does Slate not have a comment field?
 
2013-10-15 02:15:50 PM  
Yes and yes.  Face it, your child is doomed.  DOOOOOOOOMMMMED
 
2013-10-15 02:16:20 PM  

GreenAdder: Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween. People spread half-truths, conjecture and outright lies every year around this time. "Don't take your kid trick-or-treating, because [candy addiction / poison / razor blades / terrorist attack  / devil worship / kidnapping / other terrible thing] might happen." A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.

For fark's sake, when the members of the Anti-Fun League gets their little pea-brains focused on something, they're like a dog with an old sock. They won't stop tearing away at it until it's just a mess of slobbery shreds.


It's because they can't make it into some religious persecution complex thing. As soon as someone attaches Halloween to some saint, you'll see the tide changing.
 
2013-10-15 02:16:59 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sugar is a gate way drug!!


you win!
 
2013-10-15 02:17:00 PM  
Curse you Kit-Kat bar... I always suspected you were a gateway drug! *shakes fist*
 
2013-10-15 02:17:21 PM  

George Babbitt: Does Slate not have a comment field?


They do, but you have to click it. It's next to the Twitter icon
 
2013-10-15 02:18:07 PM  
Well, let's see. How many generations have grown up with candy in their lives, and how many of them turned into addicts? I'm not seeing any significant correlation here, much less a causal link. Methinks the people who want to find things to blame for all of humanity's evils are going to have to look harder.
 
2013-10-15 02:18:07 PM  
GreenAdder: "Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween."

Because the people moaning about "Happy Holidays" signs *are the same ones* chain forwarding urban legend warnings about terrorist mall attacks and razor blades.
They've a known and well-understood problem with logical/philosophical consistency.
 
2013-10-15 02:18:34 PM  

George Babbitt: Sugar isn't the problem, it's the petroleum based dyes, flavors and sweeteners that are the problem.


So the non petroleum based ones are ok then. Gotta love people who think the origin of a chemical has anything to do with its effects. If it comes from a plant it's wonderful. Comes from anything else and it'll give you brain cancer.
 
2013-10-15 02:19:15 PM  
All drug usage- whether it be sugar, alcohol, cannabis, nicotine, or whatever- is a coping mechanism.  You use it when you're feeling down and, just for a bit, the world seems like a less shiatty place, and the guy you were considering punching a minute ago becomes less of a big deal.

The collective we do not like some of the ways that people choose to cope, and so we remove those things or otherwise make them much harder tho access.

And do you know what happens when you remove a person's coping mechanisms?

They can't cope.

And then they go nuts and wreck the place.
 
2013-10-15 02:20:42 PM  
OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?
 
2013-10-15 02:22:25 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


Depends on who's giving and who's getting. Steaks are always an appropriate gift as well. Especially if you're dealing with a militant vegan.
 
2013-10-15 02:22:34 PM  
If you have reproduced, you are already a bad parent. There really isn't much you can do about it, just keep 'em out of jail and die before them for your 100% mission completion trophy.
 
2013-10-15 02:24:17 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?



You give blowjobs to kids?


/have a seat over there
 
2013-10-15 02:26:04 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: I hate most candy...but I farking LOVE marujuana.


/Theory debunked
//Go back to what you were doing


This^

puff puff pass, please.
 
2013-10-15 02:27:12 PM  

ToastTheRabbit: Curse you Kit-Kat bar... I always suspected you were a gateway drug! *shakes fist*



Give me a break!
 
2013-10-15 02:27:53 PM  

Arkanaut: Yes and yes.  Face it, your child is doomed.  DOOOOOOOOMMMMED


Oh my God, I'm going to die... of something!!!
 
2013-10-15 02:28:14 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


You give blowjobs to kids?




OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?
 
2013-10-15 02:29:37 PM  

Snapper Carr: No and no.

Teach your child about moderation and he'll thank you for it later.


That would logically make sense but the problem with people like the one guy in the article who seemed to be on the verge of calling CPS on the writer of the article is that with regard to candy or any other sugared food there's no such thing as moderation.  One jelly bean is one too many.  There like 19th century prohibitionists who preached that one glass of beer would be enough to destroy your liver, turn you into an unemployable wife-beating, child-neglecting drunkard, and condemn your soul to hell.
 
2013-10-15 02:30:19 PM  

GreenAdder: Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween. People spread half-truths, conjecture and outright lies every year around this time. "Don't take your kid trick-or-treating, because [candy addiction / poison / razor blades / terrorist attack  / devil worship / kidnapping / other terrible thing] might happen." A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.

For fark's sake, when the members of the Anti-Fun League gets their little pea-brains focused on something, they're like a dog with an old sock. They won't stop tearing away at it until it's just a mess of slobbery shreds.


the War on Halloween in my area began 15 years ago, give or take. hypocrite adult church going types who LOVED trick-or-treating as children were swayed en masse to suddenly view harmless masquerade and candy begging as a direct pipeline to hellfire and damnation.
in short time Hall-o-ween was destroyed in our country, replaced by 'Fall Harvest' and ten other names for dragging your spawn to a house of worship for highly supervised treats exchange and some good ol fashioned givin' it up for the Lord.
retailers went the same route, with department stores carrying little pumpkin time merchandise. most of what they carried was more cutesy and happy smiley instead of spooky and ghoulish.
we all know the urban myths of bad candy have been debunked. yet these pinheads are at it more now than ever.
all the fun equipment is gone from playgrounds.
kids sports is ruined by adults beating snot out of each other in heated arguments.
if the toys you buy your tots aren't Educational you're a horrible parent.
children don't even play outside anymore.
halloween has been reduced to Ultra AW Day for legal age drinkers.
Thanks a lot, Obama.
 
2013-10-15 02:32:16 PM  
Gary reminds me of my sister when my oldest niece was about 2. She brought her for a sleepover at my moms house and packed my niece some weird organic breakfast mash. My mom couldn't get her to eat it, so she grabbed a PopTart which was an occassional breakfast food in the house growing up. My sister FLIPPED. Like if her head could have spinned around and around it would have. She called our mom everything in the book (horrible parent, uncaring, evil, etc.) and refused to let her see the grandchild for a few months until it was convenient to need a babysitter.

Now she is just the opposite. She developed "fibrolyalsia" and doesn't have the energy/pain tolerance for healthy meals, so the have monkey bread, pancakes, waffles, hot dogs, boxed mac and cheese, and microwave meals at home when they "cook" and pizza or McD's when she is too "sick". As you can imagine, she's a whale and the kids are well on their way. Also the oldest niece has asthma so she "can't exercise" which makes matters worse for her.

It is sad to see, but what can you do? CPC doesn't give a damn as long as the kids are being fed, clothed, and have no bruises. When they come to visit we try to have dinners in with healthy foods, but then my sister complains about us judging her. Well...I am, but my parents just want to keep the peace so they can spoil their grandkids.
 
2013-10-15 02:35:17 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


You give blowjobs to kids?

OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?


i mean, I don't want to tell you how to be a a good neighbor because I hate HOAs, too. I'm just saying, maybe Spongebob toothebrushes would be better.
 
2013-10-15 02:35:52 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


You give blowjobs to kids?

OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?

i mean, I don't want to tell you how to be a a good neighbor because I hate HOAs, too. I'm just saying, maybe Spongebob toothebrushes would be better.


Damn, my spelling is TURRIBLE today
 
2013-10-15 02:39:59 PM  

Rev.K: miss diminutive: I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.

Truly we are the Afflicted Generation.



I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Jolly Ranchers.
 
2013-10-15 02:44:20 PM  

hailin: Gary reminds me of my sister when my oldest niece was about 2. She brought her for a sleepover at my moms house and packed my niece some weird organic breakfast mash. My mom couldn't get her to eat it, so she grabbed a PopTart which was an occassional breakfast food in the house growing up. My sister FLIPPED. Like if her head could have spinned around and around it would have. She called our mom everything in the book (horrible parent, uncaring, evil, etc.) and refused to let her see the grandchild for a few months until it was convenient to need a babysitter.

Now she is just the opposite. She developed "fibrolyalsia" and doesn't have the energy/pain tolerance for healthy meals, so the have monkey bread, pancakes, waffles, hot dogs, boxed mac and cheese, and microwave meals at home when they "cook" and pizza or McD's when she is too "sick". As you can imagine, she's a whale and the kids are well on their way. Also the oldest niece has asthma so she "can't exercise" which makes matters worse for her.

It is sad to see, but what can you do? CPC doesn't give a damn as long as the kids are being fed, clothed, and have no bruises. When they come to visit we try to have dinners in with healthy foods, but then my sister complains about us judging her. Well...I am, but my parents just want to keep the peace so they can spoil their grandkids.


Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome are the two current competing disorders for people who don't want to be diagnosed and treated for depression.
 
2013-10-15 02:45:34 PM  
Sin_City_Superhero: 
OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?

I'm giving away the little bottles of mouthwash, tiny tubes of toothpaste, and small packets of dental floss I get for free from the dentist's office.

/ keeping the toothbrushes
// I actually use those
 
2013-10-15 02:49:06 PM  
I'm handing out little gun shaped candies. Hopefully some of the kids will take it to school and get suspended. I'm going to try to beat my record of four suspensions from two years ago.
 
2013-10-15 02:52:17 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: Sin_City_Superhero: 
OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?

I'm giving away the little bottles of mouthwash, tiny tubes of toothpaste, and small packets of dental floss I get for free from the dentist's office.

/ keeping the toothbrushes
// I actually use those


The flouride mouthwash or the alcohol mouthwash?

Just warning you that parents might have a problem with the latter.

/also, don't give out nips of barton's vodka, that doesn't fly either
 
2013-10-15 02:52:19 PM  
If there's one thing that reading about parenting (especially on the internet) has taught me, it is that EVERYTHING supposedly makes you a "bad parent". As a kid I ran around playing with realistic toy guns and eating powdered sugar out of a plastic tube, and I grew up to be a guy who reads reasonably good books, rescues spiders from the bathtub, and donates to charity. The only things I seem to be "addicted to" are procrastination and my wife's ass.

miss diminutive:
I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.


Let's be honest, that wasn't about the Reese's Pieces, was it?
 
2013-10-15 02:55:04 PM  
I suppose if you're teaching your kids to use candy as a means of avoiding or coping with stress or other forms of inner turmoil, or if you're giving them a candy that is highly addictive and not providing the support and stability necessary for helping them maintain an addiction-free life, then OK.

Also, if providing a sketchy financial means for supporting his or her candy habit, such as being the getaway driver while they go into a gas station to knock off the register and maybe pop 2 rounds into the clerk while screaming "Take that, Kumar!"...

then taking the score directly to a local candy store and binging that sh*t down in a nearby alley, then yes, you may be enabling the lifestyle of a future drug addict.
 
2013-10-15 02:56:22 PM  

No Such Agency: If there's one thing that reading about parenting (especially on the internet) has taught me, it is that EVERYTHING supposedly makes you a "bad parent". As a kid I ran around playing with realistic toy guns and eating powdered sugar out of a plastic tube, and I grew up to be a guy who reads reasonably good books, rescues spiders from the bathtub, and donates to charity. The only things I seem to be "addicted to" are procrastination and my wife's ass.


My brother from another mother.  This sums my life up very well.
 
2013-10-15 02:56:28 PM  

Russ1642: George Babbitt: Sugar isn't the problem, it's the petroleum based dyes, flavors and sweeteners that are the problem.

So the non petroleum based ones are ok then. Gotta love people who think the origin of a chemical has anything to do with its effects. If it comes from a plant it's wonderful. Comes from anything else and it'll give you brain cancer.


The origin mention gets people to stop and think, and the proof is in the pudding, U.S. markets just don't care that much, which is why a company will sell a food product in Europe with no artificial ingredients and then sell the same labeled product with artificial ingredients here in the U.S.
 
2013-10-15 02:56:43 PM  
petapixel.com
Gateway drug.

No one needs spinning. What part of a well-regulated militia do you not understand. Ban spinning!
 
2013-10-15 02:58:13 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: Sin_City_Superhero: 
OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?

I'm giving away the little bottles of mouthwash, tiny tubes of toothpaste, and small packets of dental floss I get for free from the dentist's office.

/ keeping the toothbrushes
// I actually use those


Hope you like eggs, tp, and flaming dog shiat.
 
2013-10-15 03:00:24 PM  
Fark 'em.

Kick then right in the Superman emblem and steal their candy. Then grab their mom's boob.

Then run. Fast.
 
2013-10-15 03:00:48 PM  

Mose: No Such Agency: If there's one thing that reading about parenting (especially on the internet) has taught me, it is that EVERYTHING supposedly makes you a "bad parent". As a kid I ran around playing with realistic toy guns and eating powdered sugar out of a plastic tube, and I grew up to be a guy who reads reasonably good books, rescues spiders from the bathtub, and donates to charity. The only things I seem to be "addicted to" are procrastination and my wife's ass.

My brother from another mother.  This sums my life up very well.


That took a lot of balls to admit, but you've inspired me.

Hi, my name is Radar, and I too am addicted to No Such Agency's wife's ass.
 
2013-10-15 03:01:34 PM  
I don't know about candy leading to drug addiction but I used candy to get off heroin.

True story.

And really, it's about addictive personalities, not anything else. Candy, dope, crack, work, sex, working out, origami, it doesn't matter.

/sugar!
 
2013-10-15 03:01:35 PM  

Pitabred: It's because they can't make it into some religious persecution complex thing. As soon as someone attaches Halloween to some saint, you'll see the tide changing.


Halloween == All Hallows' Eve == the night before All Saint's Day.  It's already attached to ALL the saints.
 
2013-10-15 03:05:27 PM  

Mighty_Joe: Pitabred: It's because they can't make it into some religious persecution complex thing. As soon as someone attaches Halloween to some saint, you'll see the tide changing.

Halloween == All Hallows' Eve == the night before All Saint's Day.  It's already attached to ALL the saints.


Not so many folks remember that nowadays, though.

Probably best to keep it on the down-low, though. You don't want them thinking this is what people want to do to Christmas.
 
2013-10-15 03:06:29 PM  

miss diminutive: Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.

I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.


What kinda freaky stuff will you do for a pound of chewy spree?
 
2013-10-15 03:08:32 PM  
I only give candy to other people's kids.
 
2013-10-15 03:11:58 PM  

radarlove: Mose: No Such Agency: If there's one thing that reading about parenting (especially on the internet) has taught me, it is that EVERYTHING supposedly makes you a "bad parent". As a kid I ran around playing with realistic toy guns and eating powdered sugar out of a plastic tube, and I grew up to be a guy who reads reasonably good books, rescues spiders from the bathtub, and donates to charity. The only things I seem to be "addicted to" are procrastination and my wife's ass.

My brother from another mother.  This sums my life up very well.

That took a lot of balls to admit, but you've inspired me.

Hi, my name is Radar, and I too am addicted to No Such Agency's wife's ass.


We have a support group, we meet on Thursdays.
 
2013-10-15 03:15:14 PM  

Mose: UtileDysfunktion: Sin_City_Superhero: 
OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?

I'm giving away the little bottles of mouthwash, tiny tubes of toothpaste, and small packets of dental floss I get for free from the dentist's office.

The flouride mouthwash or the alcohol mouthwash?
Just warning you that parents might have a problem with the latter.
/also, don't give out nips of barton's vodka, that doesn't fly either


It would be kinda' fun to hand out those little airline bottles of liquor one year.

/not so fun waiting to make bail
 
2013-10-15 03:16:07 PM  
I'm fat.

Spent ALL my allowance at the candy store (until switching to cigarettes as a teenager). Couldn't get enough sweets. Had to fight off siblings at the table. Got molested because the old man offered free candy (and I was too young to know what was going on). Food/fat problems all my stinking life.

So, I keep candy, cookies, cakes, etc. all over the house, there to be eaten freely by whoever wants it or gets to it first. The monsters are all tall, lean, muscle machines. Ate McDonald's half their lives and still they're gorgeous. Not a single fatty in the bunch.

Because I chose NOT to restrict their access to the good stuff, they were able to train themselves to eat what their bodies needed, not just what was most readily available.

/You should see them begging for me to buy 'em veggies at the grocery store.
 
2013-10-15 03:19:03 PM  

No Such Agency: I grew up to be a guy who reads reasonably good books, rescues spiders from the bathtub, and donates to charity. The only things I seem to be "addicted to" are procrastination and my wife's ass.


Give this man a god damned medal.
 
2013-10-15 03:19:29 PM  

George Babbitt: Russ1642: George Babbitt: Sugar isn't the problem, it's the petroleum based dyes, flavors and sweeteners that are the problem.

So the non petroleum based ones are ok then. Gotta love people who think the origin of a chemical has anything to do with its effects. If it comes from a plant it's wonderful. Comes from anything else and it'll give you brain cancer.

The origin mention gets people to stop and think, and the proof is in the pudding, U.S. markets just don't care that much, which is why a company will sell a food product in Europe with no artificial ingredients and then sell the same labeled product with artificial ingredients here in the U.S.


I think you're missing the point. 'Artificial' doesn't matter. If a chemical is harmful then say so. Whether it comes from a plant, animal, fossil fuel, dirt, or lab is irrelevant.
 
Ant
2013-10-15 03:25:13 PM  
Her husband, Gary, had been listening to the exchange, and with a dark glare in my direction, he hissed at Laura, "Oh, so I guess you'll start giving him crack now, too?"

Gary is a farking moron. Everyone I know ate tons upon tons of candy as a kid, and none of them are junkies. Shouldn't at least one of them be a junky if there's some link?
 
2013-10-15 03:25:25 PM  

astro716: radarlove:
Hi, my name is Radar, and I too am addicted to No Such Agency's wife's ass.

We have a support group, we meet on Thursdays.


I just wish the government would finally step in and do something about this epidemic of abuse of Mrs. NSA's ass.

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?!?!?!
 
2013-10-15 03:27:51 PM  

Ant: Her husband, Gary, had been listening to the exchange, and with a dark glare in my direction, he hissed at Laura, "Oh, so I guess you'll start giving him crack now, too?"

Gary is a farking moron. Everyone I know ate tons upon tons of candy as a kid, and none of them are junkies. Shouldn't at least one of them be a junky if there's some link?


Do you now or have you ever smoked pot?
If you say yes you are a junkie and it started with candy. If you say no, you are a liar and it started with candy.
 
2013-10-15 03:28:54 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Gary sounds like a dick.


i992.photobucket.com
 
Ant
2013-10-15 03:31:49 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: I hate most candy...but I farking LOVE marujuana.


/Theory debunked
//Go back to what you were doing


You said most candy. Alright, which candy led you to your marijuana habit?
 
Ant
2013-10-15 03:33:12 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: Ant: Her husband, Gary, had been listening to the exchange, and with a dark glare in my direction, he hissed at Laura, "Oh, so I guess you'll start giving him crack now, too?"

Gary is a farking moron. Everyone I know ate tons upon tons of candy as a kid, and none of them are junkies. Shouldn't at least one of them be a junky if there's some link?

Do you now or have you ever smoked pot?
If you say yes you are a junkie and it started with candy. If you say no, you are a liar and it started with candy.


I don't now, but I have in the past. Wow! I never knew it was the candy that made me do it.
 
2013-10-15 03:34:40 PM  

vudukungfu: I only give candy to other people's kids.


I think I've seen your van.
 
2013-10-15 03:39:35 PM  

Pitabred: sain


Pitabred: GreenAdder: Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween. People spread half-truths, conjecture and outright lies every year around this time. "Don't take your kid trick-or-treating, because [candy addiction / poison / razor blades / terrorist attack  / devil worship / kidnapping / other terrible thing] might happen." A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.

For fark's sake, when the members of the Anti-Fun League gets their little pea-brains focused on something, they're like a dog with an old sock. They won't stop tearing away at it until it's just a mess of slobbery shreds.

It's because they can't make it into some religious persecution complex thing. As soon as someone attaches Halloween to some saint, you'll see the tide changing.


What like all of them?
 
2013-10-15 03:40:16 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: vudukungfu: I only give candy to other people's kids.

I think I've seen your van.


The candy man van?
 
Ant
2013-10-15 03:41:00 PM  

radarlove: All drug usage- whether it be sugar, alcohol, cannabis, nicotine, or whatever- is a coping mechanism.  You use it when you're feeling down and, just for a bit, the world seems like a less shiatty place, and the guy you were considering punching a minute ago becomes less of a big deal.

The collective we do not like some of the ways that people choose to cope, and so we remove those things or otherwise make them much harder tho access.

And do you know what happens when you remove a person's coping mechanisms?

They can't cope.

And then they go nuts and wreck the place.


I really don't like the whole idea that everything is a coping mechanism. It's bullshiat. Some people like the taste of candy, some like the high from a drug or from alcohol. That's all there is to it. It doesn't necessarily mean they need it to cope with something.
 
2013-10-15 03:51:42 PM  
ts2.mm.bing.net

This is your brain on sugar. It really is. Sugar destroys kids brains and makes them taste great with bacon.
 
2013-10-15 03:53:16 PM  

Sybarite: Everything is a little bit better when you sneak it.


That depends on which end of a fart you're on.
 
2013-10-15 03:57:04 PM  

uber humper: [ts2.mm.bing.net image 300x225]

This is your brain on sugar. It really is. Sugar destroys kids brains and makes them taste great with bacon.


Sending bill for new keyboard.
 
2013-10-15 03:57:40 PM  
When I was a child my parents gave me a cap gun that transformed into a robot. So naturally I became a video gamer when the internet became fast enough to handle it, and refuse to own a gun or have a license to own one.
 
2013-10-15 03:59:14 PM  

scottydoesntknow: George Babbitt: Does Slate not have a comment field?

They do, but you have to click it. It's next to the Twitter icon


Ah, thanks.
 
2013-10-15 04:00:39 PM  

Russ1642: George Babbitt: Russ1642: George Babbitt: Sugar isn't the problem, it's the petroleum based dyes, flavors and sweeteners that are the problem.

So the non petroleum based ones are ok then. Gotta love people who think the origin of a chemical has anything to do with its effects. If it comes from a plant it's wonderful. Comes from anything else and it'll give you brain cancer.

The origin mention gets people to stop and think, and the proof is in the pudding, U.S. markets just don't care that much, which is why a company will sell a food product in Europe with no artificial ingredients and then sell the same labeled product with artificial ingredients here in the U.S.

I think you're missing the point. 'Artificial' doesn't matter. If a chemical is harmful then say so. Whether it comes from a plant, animal, fossil fuel, dirt, or lab is irrelevant.


I'm afraid of herbal remedy folks. I'm on a list. I don't want to piss them off again.
 
2013-10-15 04:02:01 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


You give blowjobs to kids?




OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?


Vodka. Duh.
 
2013-10-15 04:02:22 PM  

Ant: Slaves2Darkness: Ant: Her husband, Gary, had been listening to the exchange, and with a dark glare in my direction, he hissed at Laura, "Oh, so I guess you'll start giving him crack now, too?"

Gary is a farking moron. Everyone I know ate tons upon tons of candy as a kid, and none of them are junkies. Shouldn't at least one of them be a junky if there's some link?

Do you now or have you ever smoked pot?
If you say yes you are a junkie and it started with candy. If you say no, you are a liar and it started with candy.

I don't now, but I have in the past. Wow! I never knew it was the candy that made me do it.


Exactly which is why we need to legalize it, because it is just like candy and who doesn't like candy?
 
2013-10-15 04:17:51 PM  

Ant: radarlove: All drug usage- whether it be sugar, alcohol, cannabis, nicotine, or whatever- is a coping mechanism.  You use it when you're feeling down and, just for a bit, the world seems like a less shiatty place, and the guy you were considering punching a minute ago becomes less of a big deal.

The collective we do not like some of the ways that people choose to cope, and so we remove those things or otherwise make them much harder tho access.

And do you know what happens when you remove a person's coping mechanisms?

They can't cope.

And then they go nuts and wreck the place.

I really don't like the whole idea that everything is a coping mechanism. It's bullshiat. Some people like the taste of candy, some like the high from a drug or from alcohol. That's all there is to it. It doesn't necessarily mean they need it to cope with something.


You don't like it because you're making the fallacious assumption that a coping mechanism is a bad thing.  Everyone, everywhere has something that they need to cope with.  It is one of the very few universal constants involving humanity.  Doing something that you enjoy is how you tolerate having to do all of the other shiat that you don't.

Doesn't matter what that something is (drugs, sex, long showers or a good book), if it is helping you to tolerate or otherwise forget the bad stuff in your life, it is helping you cope.  Therefore, it is a coping mechanism.

You NEED coping mechanisms.  They are not bad things.

Without them most people would eventually lose their farking shiat.
 
2013-10-15 04:23:50 PM  
radarlove:
Mose: No Such Agency: If there's one thing that reading about parenting (especially on the internet) has taught me, it is that EVERYTHING supposedly makes you a "bad parent". As a kid I ran around playing with realistic toy guns and eating powdered sugar out of a plastic tube, and I grew up to be a guy who reads reasonably good books, rescues spiders from the bathtub, and donates to charity. The only things I seem to be "addicted to" are procrastination and my wife's ass.

My brother from another mother.  This sums my life up very well.

That took a lot of balls to admit, but you've inspired me.

Hi, my name is Radar, and I too am addicted to No Such Agency's wife's ass.


I can't even be mad.  Fact is it's amazing and I can't blame you guys one bit.

At least she's not home schooled :/
 
2013-10-15 04:24:59 PM  
My three-year-old daughter woke up this morning and the first words out of her mouth were, "Daddy, I eat ice cream cone."

I gave her a small dish of ice cream (about one tablespoon of ice cream) with a small peice of a broken waffle cone in it.

It doesn't worry me too much because for dinner last night she ate steak, brocolli, vegetable soup, and a hand roll (rice wrapped in roasted seaweed with a bit of seasoning).

She's also very active and skinny as a rail.

Getting all bent out of shape because kids crave sweets is stupid, unless that's all they are eating.
 
2013-10-15 04:26:33 PM  
radarlove:
You NEED coping mechanisms. They are not bad things.

doublepost time... I think "coping mechanisms" get a bad rap because people always imagine them as "get stoned all day while your problems multiply".  As opposed to "I feel much better now, time to do my taxes and clean the eavestroughs".  Life is tough and the harmless little pleasures help us get through it.
 
2013-10-15 04:29:06 PM  

BeesNuts: No Such Agency: I grew up to be a guy who reads reasonably good books, rescues spiders from the bathtub, and donates to charity. The only things I seem to be "addicted to" are procrastination and my wife's ass.

Give this man a god damned medal.


Not until we see a picture of his wifes ass!
 
2013-10-15 04:29:17 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: Ant: Slaves2Darkness: Ant: Her husband, Gary, had been listening to the exchange, and with a dark glare in my direction, he hissed at Laura, "Oh, so I guess you'll start giving him crack now, too?"

Gary is a farking moron. Everyone I know ate tons upon tons of candy as a kid, and none of them are junkies. Shouldn't at least one of them be a junky if there's some link?

Do you now or have you ever smoked pot?
If you say yes you are a junkie and it started with candy. If you say no, you are a liar and it started with candy.

I don't now, but I have in the past. Wow! I never knew it was the candy that made me do it.

Exactly which is why we need to legalize it, because it is just like candy and who doesn't like candy?


On that note, I would like to present to you my absolute favorite candy bar- the greatest candy bar in existence- the motherfarking TKO bar:

d123t173g8yxd6.cloudfront.net

This big boy is a quarter pound of marshmallow, peanuts, pretzel pieces, peanut butter and rich milk chocolate...all infused with a shiatLOAD of THC.

It is hands down the tastiest (and arguably most potent) edible I've ever had in my life, and I say that having worked for a competitor of Gaia's Garden.  The only problem is that you can only take a bite every fourteen hours or so (because that's how long the coma lasts).
 
2013-10-15 04:35:04 PM  
radarlove:

On that note, I would like to present to you my absolute favorite candy bar- the greatest candy bar in existence- the motherfarking TKO bar:

[d123t173g8yxd6.cloudfront.net image 770x578]

This big boy is a quarter pound of marshmallow, peanuts, pretzel pieces, peanut butter and rich milk chocolate...all infused with a shiatLOAD of THC.

It is hands down the tastiest (and arguably most potent) edible I've ever had in my life, and I say that having worked for a competitor of Gaia's Garden.  The only problem is that you can only take a bite every fourteen hours or so (because that's how long the coma lasts).


How much does that thing cost?
 
2013-10-15 04:38:10 PM  

No Such Agency: radarlove:
You NEED coping mechanisms. They are not bad things.

doublepost time... I think "coping mechanisms" get a bad rap because people always imagine them as "get stoned all day while your problems multiply".  As opposed to "I feel much better now, time to do my taxes and clean the eavestroughs".  Life is tough and the harmless little pleasures help us get through it.


I actually think it is a combination of that, John-Wayne-esque machismo, and a desire to feel superior to others.

Nowhere was that combo exemplified more than in Regan's cute little "you don't need a crutch" speech at the height of the Just Say No campaign.
 
2013-10-15 04:40:23 PM  

Needlessly Complicated: What is wrong with parents these days!?


[inigomontoya.jpg]
 
2013-10-15 04:43:02 PM  

George Babbitt: radarlove:

On that note, I would like to present to you my absolute favorite candy bar- the greatest candy bar in existence- the motherfarking TKO bar:

[d123t173g8yxd6.cloudfront.net image 770x578]

This big boy is a quarter pound of marshmallow, peanuts, pretzel pieces, peanut butter and rich milk chocolate...all infused with a shiatLOAD of THC.

It is hands down the tastiest (and arguably most potent) edible I've ever had in my life, and I say that having worked for a competitor of Gaia's Garden.  The only problem is that you can only take a bite every fourteen hours or so (because that's how long the coma lasts).

How much does that thing cost?


If memory serves (I worked in the industry so my own personal pricing was a good bit less) they retail for around $10 a bar.  I know we were selling them for less, right around the wholesale cost, which is more like $6 or $7 I think?  It has been a couple of years since our shop got shut down, so prices may have changed since then.  Should be around there, though.
 
2013-10-15 05:00:12 PM  

radarlove: If memory serves (I worked in the industry so my own personal pricing was a good bit less) they retail for around $10 a bar. I know we were selling them for less, right around the wholesale cost, which is more like $6 or $7 I think? It has been a couple of years since our shop got shut down, so prices may have changed since then. Should be around there, though.


The last time I heard the cost of sparkly green was about 10 years ago at about ~$50 per 1/8th. So this is cheaper for the time and reward or more?
 
2013-10-15 05:07:54 PM  

No Such Agency: miss diminutive:
I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.

Let's be honest, that wasn't about the Reese's Pieces, was it?


.....I may have been running for class president.....

/lost to the girl who gave it up for paper clips.
 
2013-10-15 05:13:17 PM  

George Babbitt: radarlove: If memory serves (I worked in the industry so my own personal pricing was a good bit less) they retail for around $10 a bar. I know we were selling them for less, right around the wholesale cost, which is more like $6 or $7 I think? It has been a couple of years since our shop got shut down, so prices may have changed since then. Should be around there, though.

The last time I heard the cost of sparkly green was about 10 years ago at about ~$50 per 1/8th. So this is cheaper for the time and reward or more?


That's still accurate for street prices.  I have no idea how much something like a TKO bar would sell for on the black market, though.  You can generally get a far better deal at the right dispensary than you can on the street, so a contraband TKO bar would probably have a pretty hefty markup.

To be fair, we made virtually no money off of these things, despite them being one of our best sellers.  They (along with Cheeba Chews, medicated honey sticks, and a couple of specific strains of bud) were very popular among our clients who are veterans, and we sold those things that particularly helped veterans at cost (or occasionally even less).  We were very popular with the local veteran community.  We were a really good store.  I miss that job terribly.  I've never felt so deeply fulfilled.

buddinghealth.net



I will always love that place and what it meant to not just me, but the community at large.

 
2013-10-15 05:19:10 PM  
Candygram for Gary!

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-15 05:21:22 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: I hate most candy...but I farking LOVE marujuana.


/Theory debunked
//Go back to what you were doing


I'm curious how you feel about grape drank.
 
2013-10-15 07:02:12 PM  

George Babbitt: radarlove: If memory serves (I worked in the industry so my own personal pricing was a good bit less) they retail for around $10 a bar. I know we were selling them for less, right around the wholesale cost, which is more like $6 or $7 I think? It has been a couple of years since our shop got shut down, so prices may have changed since then. Should be around there, though.

The last time I heard the cost of sparkly green was about 10 years ago at about ~$50 per 1/8th. So this is cheaper for the time and reward or more?


I have an ex I not so lovingly refer to as "The Evil One".  However, in spite of her myriad faults, she makes the BEST GOT DANG butterscotch chip cookies I've ever had.  With her own "special" butter.  As mentioned, I call them "coma cookies".
/GOT
/ DANG
 
2013-10-15 07:46:48 PM  
My kids still prefer fruit juice and milk over cokes. Hopefully, that will last for a few more years.
 
2013-10-15 08:52:22 PM  
Happiness and joy.

EVIL!
 
2013-10-16 02:13:13 AM  
Poppykok.
As a kid, there was always candy of some sort around the house. I didn't eat it all at once, simply enjoyed a piece now and then. My friends however were DENIED at home, so when they came to visit me they gobbled it like piggies.
 
Ant
2013-10-16 12:25:27 PM  

radarlove: Slaves2Darkness: Ant: Slaves2Darkness: Ant: Her husband, Gary, had been listening to the exchange, and with a dark glare in my direction, he hissed at Laura, "Oh, so I guess you'll start giving him crack now, too?"

Gary is a farking moron. Everyone I know ate tons upon tons of candy as a kid, and none of them are junkies. Shouldn't at least one of them be a junky if there's some link?

Do you now or have you ever smoked pot?
If you say yes you are a junkie and it started with candy. If you say no, you are a liar and it started with candy.

I don't now, but I have in the past. Wow! I never knew it was the candy that made me do it.

Exactly which is why we need to legalize it, because it is just like candy and who doesn't like candy?

On that note, I would like to present to you my absolute favorite candy bar- the greatest candy bar in existence- the motherfarking TKO bar:

[d123t173g8yxd6.cloudfront.net image 770x578]

This big boy is a quarter pound of marshmallow, peanuts, pretzel pieces, peanut butter and rich milk chocolate...all infused with a shiatLOAD of THC.

It is hands down the tastiest (and arguably most potent) edible I've ever had in my life, and I say that having worked for a competitor of Gaia's Garden.  The only problem is that you can only take a bite every fourteen hours or so (because that's how long the coma lasts).


Where the fark can I get one of those?!!!!
 
2013-10-16 04:33:26 PM  

Ant: Where the fark can I get one of those?!!!!


Colorado
 
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