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(Slate)   Does giving your child candy mean that you are enabling a future life of drug addiction? And, further, would that make you a bad parent?   (slate.com) divider line 110
    More: Stupid, jelly beans, popsicles, parents  
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2697 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2013 at 1:58 PM (44 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-15 12:25:14 PM
I had already promised my daughter she could have some candy-and to be honest, I like jelly beans, too-so we snuck out to the patio to enjoy our illicit treat. As we ate, though, I couldn't help but think, What if I'm wrong? Candy is certainly not a "healthy" snack. But there I was, letting my 3-year-old eat the jelly beans, encouraging her, even. My own mother wouldn't have let me have them, that's for sure-my childhood home was a no-candy zone. Maybe I was a bad mother.

Jesus Christ, get some perspective.
 
2013-10-15 12:49:47 PM
Everyone knows that Pop Rocks lead to heroin.
 
2013-10-15 12:52:25 PM
Gary sounds like a dick.
 
2013-10-15 12:53:37 PM
OMG we're doomed as a society if this is how parents think now.


In other non-news, Breaking Bad Candy is the new candy cigarette.
thecandylady.com
 
2013-10-15 12:54:20 PM
When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.
 
2013-10-15 01:10:16 PM

Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.


I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.
 
2013-10-15 01:12:13 PM

NutWrench: I had already promised my daughter she could have some candy-and to be honest, I like jelly beans, too-so we snuck out to the patio to enjoy our illicit treat. As we ate, though, I couldn't help but think, What if I'm wrong? Candy is certainly not a "healthy" snack. But there I was, letting my 3-year-old eat the jelly beans, encouraging her, even. My own mother wouldn't have let me have them, that's for sure-my childhood home was a no-candy zone. Maybe I was a bad mother.

Jesus Christ, get some perspective.



Teaching your kid to sneak and "shame eat" sugar?  Yes, I'd say you're a pretty bad mother.  How about just moderation and no sneaking around?
 
2013-10-15 01:15:24 PM
Everything is a little bit better when you sneak it.
 
2013-10-15 01:26:42 PM

miss diminutive: I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.


Truly we are the Afflicted Generation.
 
2013-10-15 02:02:22 PM
I hate most candy...but I farking LOVE marujuana.


/Theory debunked
//Go back to what you were doing
 
2013-10-15 02:04:08 PM
See, that's why my folks just skipped and gave me drugs.
 
2013-10-15 02:05:01 PM

miss diminutive: Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.

I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.


Woah, they'll give me something for that????
 
2013-10-15 02:06:03 PM
No, and no.

/Thanks for playing.
 
2013-10-15 02:06:14 PM
Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween. People spread half-truths, conjecture and outright lies every year around this time. "Don't take your kid trick-or-treating, because [candy addiction / poison / razor blades / terrorist attack  / devil worship / kidnapping / other terrible thing] might happen." A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.

For fark's sake, when the members of the Anti-Fun League gets their little pea-brains focused on something, they're like a dog with an old sock. They won't stop tearing away at it until it's just a mess of slobbery shreds.
 
2013-10-15 02:06:51 PM

Combustion: miss diminutive: Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.

I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.

Woah, they'll give me something for that????


Not now. You've already given it away for free.
 
2013-10-15 02:07:50 PM
I have absolutely no desire to eat candy. As soon as I reached adulthood my sweet tooth disappeared. It's something I really notice about fat people though - they crave candy like a three-year-old.
 
2013-10-15 02:08:24 PM
No and no.

Teach your child about moderation and he'll thank you for it later.
 
2013-10-15 02:09:56 PM

GreenAdder: A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.


I dunno, maybe if you met these kids, there's a reason.
 
2013-10-15 02:10:06 PM
Oh, please, I bought candy with my spare quarters when I was a kid and I turned out OK. Most people do. What is wrong with parents these days!?


/My parents were not great parents, but not because they gave me candy.
 
2013-10-15 02:10:29 PM
Again, when the headline is a question, the answer is always


img.fark.net
 
2013-10-15 02:11:14 PM

Girl Sailor: Combustion: miss diminutive: Rev.K: When I was 8, I had salt water taffy for the first time. It was glorious.

The next day, I was shooting speedballs on skid row with hobos.

True story.

I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.

Woah, they'll give me something for that????

Not now. You've already given it away for free.


Good thing, too. If they pay you for it, you're a whore. If you give it away, you're just a slut.
 
2013-10-15 02:11:33 PM
Sugar is a gate way drug!!
 
2013-10-15 02:12:39 PM
candy, a gateway food....

scm-l3.technorati.com

/oblig
 
2013-10-15 02:13:38 PM

Russ1642: I have absolutely no desire to eat candy. As soon as I reached adulthood my sweet tooth disappeared. It's something I really notice about fat people though - they crave candy like a three-year-old.


Yep.  I hate candy, brownies, ice cream and the like.  But that's probably because I love drinking beer so much.
 
2013-10-15 02:14:35 PM
Sugar isn't the problem, it's the petroleum based dyes, flavors and sweeteners that are the problem.
 
2013-10-15 02:15:35 PM
Does Slate not have a comment field?
 
2013-10-15 02:15:50 PM
Yes and yes.  Face it, your child is doomed.  DOOOOOOOOMMMMED
 
2013-10-15 02:16:20 PM

GreenAdder: Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween. People spread half-truths, conjecture and outright lies every year around this time. "Don't take your kid trick-or-treating, because [candy addiction / poison / razor blades / terrorist attack  / devil worship / kidnapping / other terrible thing] might happen." A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.

For fark's sake, when the members of the Anti-Fun League gets their little pea-brains focused on something, they're like a dog with an old sock. They won't stop tearing away at it until it's just a mess of slobbery shreds.


It's because they can't make it into some religious persecution complex thing. As soon as someone attaches Halloween to some saint, you'll see the tide changing.
 
2013-10-15 02:16:59 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Sugar is a gate way drug!!


you win!
 
2013-10-15 02:17:00 PM
Curse you Kit-Kat bar... I always suspected you were a gateway drug! *shakes fist*
 
2013-10-15 02:17:21 PM

George Babbitt: Does Slate not have a comment field?


They do, but you have to click it. It's next to the Twitter icon
 
2013-10-15 02:18:07 PM
Well, let's see. How many generations have grown up with candy in their lives, and how many of them turned into addicts? I'm not seeing any significant correlation here, much less a causal link. Methinks the people who want to find things to blame for all of humanity's evils are going to have to look harder.
 
2013-10-15 02:18:07 PM
GreenAdder: "Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween."

Because the people moaning about "Happy Holidays" signs *are the same ones* chain forwarding urban legend warnings about terrorist mall attacks and razor blades.
They've a known and well-understood problem with logical/philosophical consistency.
 
2013-10-15 02:18:34 PM

George Babbitt: Sugar isn't the problem, it's the petroleum based dyes, flavors and sweeteners that are the problem.


So the non petroleum based ones are ok then. Gotta love people who think the origin of a chemical has anything to do with its effects. If it comes from a plant it's wonderful. Comes from anything else and it'll give you brain cancer.
 
2013-10-15 02:19:15 PM
All drug usage- whether it be sugar, alcohol, cannabis, nicotine, or whatever- is a coping mechanism.  You use it when you're feeling down and, just for a bit, the world seems like a less shiatty place, and the guy you were considering punching a minute ago becomes less of a big deal.

The collective we do not like some of the ways that people choose to cope, and so we remove those things or otherwise make them much harder tho access.

And do you know what happens when you remove a person's coping mechanisms?

They can't cope.

And then they go nuts and wreck the place.
 
2013-10-15 02:20:42 PM
OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?
 
2013-10-15 02:22:25 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


Depends on who's giving and who's getting. Steaks are always an appropriate gift as well. Especially if you're dealing with a militant vegan.
 
2013-10-15 02:22:34 PM
If you have reproduced, you are already a bad parent. There really isn't much you can do about it, just keep 'em out of jail and die before them for your 100% mission completion trophy.
 
2013-10-15 02:24:17 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?



You give blowjobs to kids?


/have a seat over there
 
2013-10-15 02:26:04 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: I hate most candy...but I farking LOVE marujuana.


/Theory debunked
//Go back to what you were doing


This^

puff puff pass, please.
 
2013-10-15 02:27:12 PM

ToastTheRabbit: Curse you Kit-Kat bar... I always suspected you were a gateway drug! *shakes fist*



Give me a break!
 
2013-10-15 02:27:53 PM

Arkanaut: Yes and yes.  Face it, your child is doomed.  DOOOOOOOOMMMMED


Oh my God, I'm going to die... of something!!!
 
2013-10-15 02:28:14 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


You give blowjobs to kids?




OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?
 
2013-10-15 02:29:37 PM

Snapper Carr: No and no.

Teach your child about moderation and he'll thank you for it later.


That would logically make sense but the problem with people like the one guy in the article who seemed to be on the verge of calling CPS on the writer of the article is that with regard to candy or any other sugared food there's no such thing as moderation.  One jelly bean is one too many.  There like 19th century prohibitionists who preached that one glass of beer would be enough to destroy your liver, turn you into an unemployable wife-beating, child-neglecting drunkard, and condemn your soul to hell.
 
2013-10-15 02:30:19 PM

GreenAdder: Everyone makes a big stink about the "War on Christmas," but I never hear anything about the war on Halloween. People spread half-truths, conjecture and outright lies every year around this time. "Don't take your kid trick-or-treating, because [candy addiction / poison / razor blades / terrorist attack  / devil worship / kidnapping / other terrible thing] might happen." A lot of these people specifically follow a book that forbids them from bearing false witness against their neighbors, then turn around and imply  one of your neighbors might want to poison your kid for no reason.

For fark's sake, when the members of the Anti-Fun League gets their little pea-brains focused on something, they're like a dog with an old sock. They won't stop tearing away at it until it's just a mess of slobbery shreds.


the War on Halloween in my area began 15 years ago, give or take. hypocrite adult church going types who LOVED trick-or-treating as children were swayed en masse to suddenly view harmless masquerade and candy begging as a direct pipeline to hellfire and damnation.
in short time Hall-o-ween was destroyed in our country, replaced by 'Fall Harvest' and ten other names for dragging your spawn to a house of worship for highly supervised treats exchange and some good ol fashioned givin' it up for the Lord.
retailers went the same route, with department stores carrying little pumpkin time merchandise. most of what they carried was more cutesy and happy smiley instead of spooky and ghoulish.
we all know the urban myths of bad candy have been debunked. yet these pinheads are at it more now than ever.
all the fun equipment is gone from playgrounds.
kids sports is ruined by adults beating snot out of each other in heated arguments.
if the toys you buy your tots aren't Educational you're a horrible parent.
children don't even play outside anymore.
halloween has been reduced to Ultra AW Day for legal age drinkers.
Thanks a lot, Obama.
 
2013-10-15 02:32:16 PM
Gary reminds me of my sister when my oldest niece was about 2. She brought her for a sleepover at my moms house and packed my niece some weird organic breakfast mash. My mom couldn't get her to eat it, so she grabbed a PopTart which was an occassional breakfast food in the house growing up. My sister FLIPPED. Like if her head could have spinned around and around it would have. She called our mom everything in the book (horrible parent, uncaring, evil, etc.) and refused to let her see the grandchild for a few months until it was convenient to need a babysitter.

Now she is just the opposite. She developed "fibrolyalsia" and doesn't have the energy/pain tolerance for healthy meals, so the have monkey bread, pancakes, waffles, hot dogs, boxed mac and cheese, and microwave meals at home when they "cook" and pizza or McD's when she is too "sick". As you can imagine, she's a whale and the kids are well on their way. Also the oldest niece has asthma so she "can't exercise" which makes matters worse for her.

It is sad to see, but what can you do? CPC doesn't give a damn as long as the kids are being fed, clothed, and have no bruises. When they come to visit we try to have dinners in with healthy foods, but then my sister complains about us judging her. Well...I am, but my parents just want to keep the peace so they can spoil their grandkids.
 
2013-10-15 02:35:17 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


You give blowjobs to kids?

OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?


i mean, I don't want to tell you how to be a a good neighbor because I hate HOAs, too. I'm just saying, maybe Spongebob toothebrushes would be better.
 
2013-10-15 02:35:52 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: DROxINxTHExWIND: Sin_City_Superhero: OK...so don't give kids candy this Halloween. Got it. Blowjobs are still cool though, right?


You give blowjobs to kids?

OK, smart guy...If I don't give out candy, what other option is there?

i mean, I don't want to tell you how to be a a good neighbor because I hate HOAs, too. I'm just saying, maybe Spongebob toothebrushes would be better.


Damn, my spelling is TURRIBLE today
 
2013-10-15 02:39:59 PM

Rev.K: miss diminutive: I started with taffy as well. Soon I was blowing boys behind the basketball court during recess for Reese's Pieces.

True Story.

Truly we are the Afflicted Generation.



I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by Jolly Ranchers.
 
2013-10-15 02:44:20 PM

hailin: Gary reminds me of my sister when my oldest niece was about 2. She brought her for a sleepover at my moms house and packed my niece some weird organic breakfast mash. My mom couldn't get her to eat it, so she grabbed a PopTart which was an occassional breakfast food in the house growing up. My sister FLIPPED. Like if her head could have spinned around and around it would have. She called our mom everything in the book (horrible parent, uncaring, evil, etc.) and refused to let her see the grandchild for a few months until it was convenient to need a babysitter.

Now she is just the opposite. She developed "fibrolyalsia" and doesn't have the energy/pain tolerance for healthy meals, so the have monkey bread, pancakes, waffles, hot dogs, boxed mac and cheese, and microwave meals at home when they "cook" and pizza or McD's when she is too "sick". As you can imagine, she's a whale and the kids are well on their way. Also the oldest niece has asthma so she "can't exercise" which makes matters worse for her.

It is sad to see, but what can you do? CPC doesn't give a damn as long as the kids are being fed, clothed, and have no bruises. When they come to visit we try to have dinners in with healthy foods, but then my sister complains about us judging her. Well...I am, but my parents just want to keep the peace so they can spoil their grandkids.


Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome are the two current competing disorders for people who don't want to be diagnosed and treated for depression.
 
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