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(Fox News)   Bad: You are a psychologist who loses your laptop containing hundreds of patients' files. Kiss your license goodbye: because you gave it to a hooker to hold as collateral while you ran to the ATM   (foxnews.com) divider line 83
    More: Dumbass, Gig Harbor, revocations, health information, prostitution  
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5863 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2013 at 2:31 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-15 12:49:44 PM
images.wikia.com
 
2013-10-15 01:00:19 PM

scottydoesntknow: [images.wikia.com image 691x572]


Beat me to it
 
2013-10-15 01:20:37 PM
"I am extremely sorry for this situation and understand it may cause concern, embarrassment and inconvenience," Kakar said in a letter to his clients, the report said. "I try very hard to earn your trust, and that includes protecting sensitive information about you. I take client confidentiality very seriously."

Right.  Which is why you were carrying it on an unsecured laptop that you then handed to a hooker.  Because it's serious to you.
 
2013-10-15 01:31:41 PM
Probably more like collateral for an ATM.
 
2013-10-15 01:37:01 PM
 
2013-10-15 01:39:10 PM
Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.
 
2013-10-15 01:45:01 PM

Benevolent Misanthrope: Because it's serious to you.


He seriously needed to get laid.  Hence the hooker.
 
2013-10-15 01:45:46 PM
What is society coming to that you can't even trust a hooker anymore?

For shame, humanity, for shame!
 
2013-10-15 02:06:37 PM
Does not approve.

i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-15 02:07:03 PM
I don't think she can fence a laptop for very much. She should have just waited for the cash.
 
2013-10-15 02:13:52 PM
Not encrypted?

Not too bright there doc.
 
2013-10-15 02:14:36 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


Lovely, just lovely
 
2013-10-15 02:17:17 PM

EvilEgg: I don't think she can fence a laptop for very much. She should have just waited for the cash.


Well, it's possible it was still worth more than what he owed her, and she may have just decided to go with the payment she had, rather than wait for the guy who was unlikely to show back up,  especially if she was owed for a double-fisting scene, cause, as you know, a bird in her hand is worth two in the bush...
 
2013-10-15 02:22:21 PM
The Dept of HHS will nail his ass so hard for the HIPAA violations he'll whistle like a coke bottle when he walks.
 
2013-10-15 02:35:20 PM
You never go ATM.
 
2013-10-15 02:36:33 PM
Who the fnck gives collateral to a hooker?

i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-10-15 02:37:02 PM

EvilEgg: I don't think she can fence a laptop for very much. She should have just waited for the cash.


Unless she blackmails the patients whose files are on the computer.

But she probably already fenced it. Bummer for her.
 
2013-10-15 02:37:57 PM
But you need to be a total computer nerd to encrypt a laptop. It takes years of training in comp sci, and you have to attend those secret hacker conferences, and then maybe you can make it work. How do they expect normal people to do it?
 
2013-10-15 02:40:14 PM
facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?
 
2013-10-15 02:43:05 PM
And how does that make you feel?
 
2013-10-15 02:43:22 PM
I remember they covered this in the updated manual. BDSM IV
 
2013-10-15 02:43:32 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


Threw in everything but the kitchen... faucet, didn't you?
+1
 
2013-10-15 02:43:50 PM

fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?


No because she might see your PIN number.
 
2013-10-15 02:44:20 PM

Magorn: EvilEgg: I don't think she can fence a laptop for very much. She should have just waited for the cash.

Well, it's possible it was still worth more than what he owed her, and she may have just decided to go with the payment she had, rather than wait for the guy who was unlikely to show back up,  especially if she was owed for a double-fisting scene, cause, as you know, a bird in her hand is worth two in the bush...


What you did there, I see it.
 
2013-10-15 02:44:57 PM

I_Am_Weasel: What is society coming to that you can't even trust a hooker anymore?


I know, I was with one last night, and she had the nerve to try and kiss me.  There are rules, dammit!

aronnaxii: I remember they covered this in the updated manual. BDSM IV


So, I, um...was wondering if you could help a friend of mine find this manual.  For research, of course.
 
2013-10-15 02:45:19 PM

Chinchillazilla: EvilEgg: I don't think she can fence a laptop for very much. She should have just waited for the cash.

Unless she blackmails the patients whose files are on the computer.

But she probably already fenced it. Bummer for her.



That's $20 extra.
 
2013-10-15 02:45:39 PM

Chinchillazilla: Unless she blackmails the patients whose files are on the computer.


Where's the leverage in that? I'm not following...
 
2013-10-15 02:46:57 PM

Beeblebrox: fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?

No because she might see your PIN number.


That's ok your account is protected by the FDIC insurance corporation.
 
2013-10-15 02:47:18 PM
 Psychologists are the most F**ked up people on the planet.
 
2013-10-15 02:48:21 PM

EvilEgg: Beeblebrox: fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?

No because she might see your PIN number.

That's ok your account is protected by the FDIC insurance corporation.


You mean the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation insurance corporation?
 
2013-10-15 02:48:36 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


Are you . . . Eminem??? You're a rap god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7cQ3b0iqLo
 
2013-10-15 02:49:37 PM
1) Find hooker to have sexy time with
2)Offer her sham laptop/netbook/busted smartphone as collateral until I pretent to go to an ATMfor payment
3)Blowjob profit!
 
2013-10-15 02:50:36 PM

urbangirl: EvilEgg: Beeblebrox: fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?

No because she might see your PIN number.

That's ok your account is protected by the FDIC insurance corporation.

You mean the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation insurance corporation?


I went to the ATM machine yesterday to get cash for a new hot water heater.
 
2013-10-15 02:50:46 PM
media.cmgdigital.com

Poor guy just needed to get encryption.
 
2013-10-15 02:50:49 PM
Gonna go out on a limb and assume it was a mac book.
 
2013-10-15 02:51:15 PM
Maybe it was some kind of Compaq.
 
2013-10-15 02:51:21 PM

urbangirl: EvilEgg: Beeblebrox: fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?

No because she might see your PIN number.

That's ok your account is protected by the FDIC insurance corporation.

You mean the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation insurance corporation?




t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-10-15 02:52:16 PM

Evil Mackerel: Maybe it was some kind of Compaq.


I think it was a Wang.
 
2013-10-15 02:53:33 PM

urbangirl: EvilEgg: Beeblebrox: fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?

No because she might see your PIN number.

That's ok your account is protected by the FDIC insurance corporation.

You mean the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation insurance corporation?


That's just what the MSM media wants you to believe.
 
2013-10-15 02:54:04 PM
Also, never give a hooker money to get you some coke. She never comes back.
 
2013-10-15 02:54:43 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: [media.cmgdigital.com image 815x480]

Poor guy just needed to get encryption.


That face looks too much like the troll face
 
2013-10-15 02:55:04 PM

lockers: That's just what the MSM media wants you to believe.


That's why I watch the BBC broadcasting corporation
 
2013-10-15 03:00:18 PM
ATM mouth costs money
 
2013-10-15 03:00:29 PM

special20: Chinchillazilla: Unless she blackmails the patients whose files are on the computer.

Where's the leverage in that? I'm not following...


Plenty of people wouldn't love the idea of their bosses, friends, etc. knowing they even GO to a psychologist. Then add in that some of the files probably contain things like biatching about bosses, or talking about how you were molested as a child, or whatever... I can see how some people would pay her not to send the file to people, depending on what was in their file.
 
2013-10-15 03:02:45 PM

vudukungfu: Psychologists are the most F**ked up people on the planet.


And proud OF it!

/psychologst (research, not the kind that helps anybody)
 
2013-10-15 03:03:39 PM

Royale With Cheese: miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.

Are you . . . Eminem??? You're a rap god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7cQ3b0iqLo


When I heard that last night, I had to give props to him. Like, 10 different flow styles, super-speed lyric rush, all sorts of technical stuff done to a fairly sub-standard pop beat and making fun of the rap game all at the same time.

Then the Columbine lyrics which were removed from the first MMLP.

Every other rapper right now is likely picking their jaw up off the floor. They just got owned.
 
2013-10-15 03:06:12 PM
RedPhoenix122:aronnaxii: I remember they covered this in the updated manual. BDSM IV

So, I, um...was wondering if you could help a friend of mine find this manual.  For research, of course.


This is fark, so I think you want anything that covers  this
 
2013-10-15 03:13:15 PM

Chinchillazilla: special20: Chinchillazilla: Unless she blackmails the patients whose files are on the computer.

Where's the leverage in that? I'm not following...

Plenty of people wouldn't love the idea of their bosses, friends, etc. knowing they even GO to a psychologist. Then add in that some of the files probably contain things like biatching about bosses, or talking about how you were molested as a child, or whatever... I can see how some people would pay her not to send the file to people, depending on what was in their file.


So what keeps a whacko psychologist from doing the same? That in itself tends to lend to the idea that the psychologist pool is kind of dirty with underachievers.
 
2013-10-15 03:15:39 PM

khyberkitsune: Royale With Cheese: miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.

Are you . . . Eminem??? You're a rap god.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7cQ3b0iqLo

When I heard that last night, I had to give props to him. Like, 10 different flow styles, super-speed lyric rush, all sorts of technical stuff done to a fairly sub-standard pop beat and making fun of the rap game all at the same time.

Then the Columbine lyrics which were removed from the first MMLP.

Every other rapper right now is likely picking their jaw up off the floor. They just got owned.


Fist-Bump! No doubt. Many of those who mock his style or age have no idea about the various rap genres or styles. Just try reading along with the lyrics to and see if you can even keep up for a sentence. He's got a gift. A god? I dunno. But he's good and I'll always give Em props.
 
2013-10-15 03:19:37 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


This was beautiful.

/wink
 
2013-10-15 03:20:16 PM
At least he knows now to keep a spare junk laptop for moments like this.  Then it's a clean getaway; free BJ, minus some obsolete plastic.  Of course it's then time to reflect on one's life when it comes to that.
 
2013-10-15 03:28:05 PM

Nana's Vibrator: Then it's a clean getaway; free BJ . . . Of course it's then time to reflect on one's life when it comes to that.


Says Nana's Vibrator. What?
 
2013-10-15 03:47:26 PM

skinink: 1) Find hooker to have sexy time with
2)Offer her sham laptop/netbook/busted smartphone as collateral until I pretent to go to an ATMfor payment
3)Blowjob profit!


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
ows
2013-10-15 03:51:39 PM
sounds like he could use the services of a personal enrichment coach.

no? ok how about a motivational speaker?
 
2013-10-15 03:53:29 PM
I don't see anything in the article saying it was unencrypted.  Am I naive, to assume that it was encrypted, rather than assuming that it wasn't?

I've seen many a media circus over encrypted data being lost or stolen, so it wouldn't surprise me.
 
2013-10-15 03:55:47 PM

haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790


Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.
 
2013-10-15 03:57:08 PM
I just can't wait until the IRS has all our medical records.  I'm sure they will keep that all nice and secure... unless you are stupid enough to publicly state that you want to lower taxes.  Then the mandatory IRS audit will be the least of your problems.
 
2013-10-15 04:00:55 PM

Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.


File Vault doesn't work?

/not a Mac person
 
2013-10-15 04:03:06 PM

Nana's Vibrator: At least he knows now to keep a spare junk laptop for moments like this.  Then it's a clean getaway; free BJ, minus some obsolete plastic.  Of course it's then time to reflect on one's life when it comes to that.


I think it's a good way to be "Green".  I mean get a busted POS that you would normally toss away and then you can recycle it into atleast a BJ.  I mean that's one heck of a business model somebody needs to run with it.
 
2013-10-15 04:03:49 PM

Deep Contact: Also, never give a hooker money to get you some coke. She never comes back.


that's why you take thier shoes.
 
2013-10-15 04:24:13 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


That would have made an awesome headline.
 
2013-10-15 04:25:00 PM

Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.


Beeblebrox: Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.

File Vault doesn't work?

/not a Mac person


FileVault works...up until the time it toasts your files and all the backups that went with them. Took me 3 months to recover from that. Was (eventually) able to recover everything but GarageBand files, iPhoto folders (got the pics, just not the organization), and e-mail older than a year.


Back to the original topic - if you're in a confidential field, it's got to be encrypted. I'd go so far as to keep it encrypted, in the cloud, and backed up at another provider (encrypted as well). If you don't keep anything on the laptop itself, or on site, it can't be easily stolen. Hardware is cheap, data isn't. Added bonus - even though HIPAA and patient confidentiality laws are supposed to protect it, keeping it off site prevents a judge from granting access to it in a divorce case.

/Not that I would know anything about that.
 
2013-10-15 04:32:47 PM

Deep Contact: Also, never give a hooker money to get you some coke. She never comes back.


Let them learn it from experience, like we did.
 
2013-10-15 04:35:31 PM

Beeblebrox: Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.

File Vault doesn't work?


Nope.

/not a Mac person

Me neither. Wouldn't have any Crapple product, at home or work.
 
2013-10-15 04:53:31 PM

lockers: urbangirl: EvilEgg: Beeblebrox: fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?

No because she might see your PIN number.

That's ok your account is protected by the FDIC insurance corporation.

You mean the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation insurance corporation?

That's just what the MSM media wants you to believe.


Why couldn't he have used the EFS system on his PC computer while he went to the ATM machine to get some cash and take the hooker to get some TCBY yogurt?
 
2013-10-15 05:02:32 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


skinamerinky-do!
 
2013-10-15 05:17:02 PM

Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.


I'll give you a hint.  NEITHER of those is encryption worth the effort of implementing.
 
2013-10-15 05:32:13 PM

Cookbook's Anarchist: ATM machine


People say this all the farking time! What the hell do they think the M stands for damnit so much!?!
 
2013-10-15 05:35:59 PM

lockers: Cookbook's Anarchist: ATM machine

People say this all the farking time! What the hell do they think the M stands for damnit so much!?!


Mouth?
 
2013-10-15 06:08:25 PM

MonoChango: I just can't wait until the IRS has all our medical records.  I'm sure they will keep that all nice and secure... unless you are stupid enough to publicly state that you want to lower taxes.  Then the mandatory IRS audit will be the least of your problems.


wat
 
2013-10-15 06:19:18 PM

headstone: lockers: Cookbook's Anarchist: ATM machine

People say this all the farking time! What the hell do they think the M stands for damnit so much!?!

Mouth?


You never go ATM mouth.
 
2013-10-15 06:28:00 PM

Kahabut: Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.

I'll give you a hint.  NEITHER of those is encryption worth the effort of implementing.


Yep that prostitute would have sat down and broke right through the encryption on his laptop. Yesiree. Bitlocker or no, she'd be reading his files all day.

/ derp
 
2013-10-15 06:37:17 PM

jaytkay: that prostitute would have sat down and broke right through the encryption on his laptop


to be fair, the threat is never that the prostitute will crack the encryption.  The threat is that the prostitute will sell the laptop to her Russian friends who will ship it to a guy who knows what he's doing.
 
2013-10-15 07:10:26 PM

basemetal: The Dept of HHS will nail his ass so hard for the HIPAA violations he'll whistle like a coke bottle when he walks.


first thing I thought of, that stuff is supposed to be encrypted, not to mention not given to a hooker.
 
2013-10-15 07:38:05 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


And likes 1 in the pink and.....,
 
2013-10-15 07:56:52 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


Only because he wanted some pink.
 
2013-10-15 09:00:48 PM

99.998er: miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.

Only because he wanted some pink.


Drink down a bottle of Wink, we'll watch Barton Fink, and shiat in the sink, there's no time to think, just make me a burger!
 
2013-10-15 09:04:44 PM

serial_crusher: to be fair, the threat is never that the prostitute will crack the encryption. The threat is that the prostitute will sell the laptop to her Russian friends who will ship it to a guy who knows what he's doing.


uh, no.  The threat is that it will wind up at a person with rudementary sysadmin skills who thinks to try to see what was on the machine before reimaging it, and uses a recovery disk off the interwebs to get into the machine.  Or worse, that the machine didn't even ask for a password at all, which is how most people's personal-use laptops are configured (auto-logon ftw!)

The "threat" of the laptop making it to some l33t hackorz is very, very low.
 
2013-10-15 10:47:50 PM

scottydoesntknow: [images.wikia.com image 691x572]


We really touched on something with this post, but I'm afraid that's all we have time for. I assume you know that FARK sessions cost extra...
 
2013-10-15 11:19:04 PM

IamAwake: uh, no. The threat is that it will wind up at a person with rudementary sysadmin skills who thinks to try to see what was on the machine before reimaging it, and uses a recovery disk off the interwebs to get into the machine. Or worse, that the machine didn't even ask for a password at all, which is how most people's personal-use laptops are configured (auto-logon ftw!)

The "threat" of the laptop making it to some l33t hackorz is very, very low.


Ding ding ding!

Give me an unencrypted Windows laptop and I could have the data off it in 5 minutes. Mac or Linux, probably an hour, only because I don't at the moment have a Linux box around to plug it into to access the file system. Now, I very well may not have the mindset of a thief, but if I were to steal a laptop taking a quick look around is pretty much the first thing I'd try. (Selling the thing before re-imaging it would be kind of dumb.)

Give me an encrypted machine? Nope. Well, I guess I could probably find a password guesser. But anything more sophisticated is well beyond me. So as a thief, what do I do? Say "maybe there's something good on here" and spend a fair bit of money getting it to someone to maybe hack in just in case there's data worth money? Or reimage it and sell it like I planned to do from the get-go?

That probably covers 99.95% of all laptop thefts.
 
2013-10-15 11:39:18 PM

evaned: IamAwake: uh, no. The threat is that it will wind up at a person with rudementary sysadmin skills who thinks to try to see what was on the machine before reimaging it, and uses a recovery disk off the interwebs to get into the machine. Or worse, that the machine didn't even ask for a password at all, which is how most people's personal-use laptops are configured (auto-logon ftw!)

The "threat" of the laptop making it to some l33t hackorz is very, very low.

Ding ding ding!

Give me an unencrypted Windows laptop and I could have the data off it in 5 minutes. Mac or Linux, probably an hour, only because I don't at the moment have a Linux box around to plug it into to access the file system. Now, I very well may not have the mindset of a thief, but if I were to steal a laptop taking a quick look around is pretty much the first thing I'd try. (Selling the thing before re-imaging it would be kind of dumb.)

Give me an encrypted machine? Nope. Well, I guess I could probably find a password guesser. But anything more sophisticated is well beyond me. So as a thief, what do I do? Say "maybe there's something good on here" and spend a fair bit of money getting it to someone to maybe hack in just in case there's data worth money? Or reimage it and sell it like I planned to do from the get-go?

That probably covers 99.95% of all laptop thefts.


shrug, I was going by what I know of phone thefts.  If there's data on the phone the thieves can sell it for more than if there isn't.
If the data's sufficiently encrypted, it's the equivalent to not having any.  But if it's some weak encryption that the identity thief knows how to crack, surely he's willing to pay more right?
So, if BitLocker and FileVault are as easily cracked as Kahabut says, the prostitute is a threat to your BitLocker or FileVault encrypted data, because she knows a script kiddie who is on top of things and is paying more than Craiglist.
 
2013-10-16 12:17:50 AM

serial_crusher: So, if BitLocker and FileVault are as easily cracked as Kahabut says...


Except... I wouldn't say that's true. The only actual attacks I know of are a brute force password attack, and the "cold boot" attack that Wikipedia describes, which relies on the computer being either on or turned off very recently (a few minutes).
 
2013-10-16 03:26:30 AM
I'm not advocating lying, but dude should've kept his mouth shut.
 
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