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(Fox News)   Bad: You are a psychologist who loses your laptop containing hundreds of patients' files. Kiss your license goodbye: because you gave it to a hooker to hold as collateral while you ran to the ATM   (foxnews.com) divider line 83
    More: Dumbass, Gig Harbor, revocations, health information, prostitution  
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5863 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2013 at 2:31 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-15 03:20:16 PM
At least he knows now to keep a spare junk laptop for moments like this.  Then it's a clean getaway; free BJ, minus some obsolete plastic.  Of course it's then time to reflect on one's life when it comes to that.
 
2013-10-15 03:28:05 PM

Nana's Vibrator: Then it's a clean getaway; free BJ . . . Of course it's then time to reflect on one's life when it comes to that.


Says Nana's Vibrator. What?
 
2013-10-15 03:47:26 PM

skinink: 1) Find hooker to have sexy time with
2)Offer her sham laptop/netbook/busted smartphone as collateral until I pretent to go to an ATMfor payment
3)Blowjob profit!


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
ows
2013-10-15 03:51:39 PM
sounds like he could use the services of a personal enrichment coach.

no? ok how about a motivational speaker?
 
2013-10-15 03:53:29 PM
I don't see anything in the article saying it was unencrypted.  Am I naive, to assume that it was encrypted, rather than assuming that it wasn't?

I've seen many a media circus over encrypted data being lost or stolen, so it wouldn't surprise me.
 
2013-10-15 03:55:47 PM

haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790


Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.
 
2013-10-15 03:57:08 PM
I just can't wait until the IRS has all our medical records.  I'm sure they will keep that all nice and secure... unless you are stupid enough to publicly state that you want to lower taxes.  Then the mandatory IRS audit will be the least of your problems.
 
2013-10-15 04:00:55 PM

Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.


File Vault doesn't work?

/not a Mac person
 
2013-10-15 04:03:06 PM

Nana's Vibrator: At least he knows now to keep a spare junk laptop for moments like this.  Then it's a clean getaway; free BJ, minus some obsolete plastic.  Of course it's then time to reflect on one's life when it comes to that.


I think it's a good way to be "Green".  I mean get a busted POS that you would normally toss away and then you can recycle it into atleast a BJ.  I mean that's one heck of a business model somebody needs to run with it.
 
2013-10-15 04:03:49 PM

Deep Contact: Also, never give a hooker money to get you some coke. She never comes back.


that's why you take thier shoes.
 
2013-10-15 04:24:13 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


That would have made an awesome headline.
 
2013-10-15 04:25:00 PM

Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.


Beeblebrox: Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.

File Vault doesn't work?

/not a Mac person


FileVault works...up until the time it toasts your files and all the backups that went with them. Took me 3 months to recover from that. Was (eventually) able to recover everything but GarageBand files, iPhoto folders (got the pics, just not the organization), and e-mail older than a year.


Back to the original topic - if you're in a confidential field, it's got to be encrypted. I'd go so far as to keep it encrypted, in the cloud, and backed up at another provider (encrypted as well). If you don't keep anything on the laptop itself, or on site, it can't be easily stolen. Hardware is cheap, data isn't. Added bonus - even though HIPAA and patient confidentiality laws are supposed to protect it, keeping it off site prevents a judge from granting access to it in a divorce case.

/Not that I would know anything about that.
 
2013-10-15 04:32:47 PM

Deep Contact: Also, never give a hooker money to get you some coke. She never comes back.


Let them learn it from experience, like we did.
 
2013-10-15 04:35:31 PM

Beeblebrox: Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.

File Vault doesn't work?


Nope.

/not a Mac person

Me neither. Wouldn't have any Crapple product, at home or work.
 
2013-10-15 04:53:31 PM

lockers: urbangirl: EvilEgg: Beeblebrox: fireclown: facepalm.

Can't she just come with you to the ATM machine?

No because she might see your PIN number.

That's ok your account is protected by the FDIC insurance corporation.

You mean the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation insurance corporation?

That's just what the MSM media wants you to believe.


Why couldn't he have used the EFS system on his PC computer while he went to the ATM machine to get some cash and take the hooker to get some TCBY yogurt?
 
2013-10-15 05:02:32 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


skinamerinky-do!
 
2013-10-15 05:17:02 PM

Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.


I'll give you a hint.  NEITHER of those is encryption worth the effort of implementing.
 
2013-10-15 05:32:13 PM

Cookbook's Anarchist: ATM machine


People say this all the farking time! What the hell do they think the M stands for damnit so much!?!
 
2013-10-15 05:35:59 PM

lockers: Cookbook's Anarchist: ATM machine

People say this all the farking time! What the hell do they think the M stands for damnit so much!?!


Mouth?
 
2013-10-15 06:08:25 PM

MonoChango: I just can't wait until the IRS has all our medical records.  I'm sure they will keep that all nice and secure... unless you are stupid enough to publicly state that you want to lower taxes.  Then the mandatory IRS audit will be the least of your problems.


wat
 
2013-10-15 06:19:18 PM

headstone: lockers: Cookbook's Anarchist: ATM machine

People say this all the farking time! What the hell do they think the M stands for damnit so much!?!

Mouth?


You never go ATM mouth.
 
2013-10-15 06:28:00 PM

Kahabut: Rueened: haemaker: It takes 5 minutes (then a few hours in the background):

http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows7/products/features/bitloc ke r

https://support.apple.com/kb/HT4790

Only one of those works.

Hint: it's the one with 'microsoft' in the URL.

I'll give you a hint.  NEITHER of those is encryption worth the effort of implementing.


Yep that prostitute would have sat down and broke right through the encryption on his laptop. Yesiree. Bitlocker or no, she'd be reading his files all day.

/ derp
 
2013-10-15 06:37:17 PM

jaytkay: that prostitute would have sat down and broke right through the encryption on his laptop


to be fair, the threat is never that the prostitute will crack the encryption.  The threat is that the prostitute will sell the laptop to her Russian friends who will ship it to a guy who knows what he's doing.
 
2013-10-15 07:10:26 PM

basemetal: The Dept of HHS will nail his ass so hard for the HIPAA violations he'll whistle like a coke bottle when he walks.


first thing I thought of, that stuff is supposed to be encrypted, not to mention not given to a hooker.
 
2013-10-15 07:38:05 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


And likes 1 in the pink and.....,
 
2013-10-15 07:56:52 PM

miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.


Only because he wanted some pink.
 
2013-10-15 09:00:48 PM

99.998er: miss diminutive: Shrink, linked to various kink, on the brink of going to the clink, inks apology causing a stink while his practice sinks into the drink and all because he thinks with his dink.

Only because he wanted some pink.


Drink down a bottle of Wink, we'll watch Barton Fink, and shiat in the sink, there's no time to think, just make me a burger!
 
2013-10-15 09:04:44 PM

serial_crusher: to be fair, the threat is never that the prostitute will crack the encryption. The threat is that the prostitute will sell the laptop to her Russian friends who will ship it to a guy who knows what he's doing.


uh, no.  The threat is that it will wind up at a person with rudementary sysadmin skills who thinks to try to see what was on the machine before reimaging it, and uses a recovery disk off the interwebs to get into the machine.  Or worse, that the machine didn't even ask for a password at all, which is how most people's personal-use laptops are configured (auto-logon ftw!)

The "threat" of the laptop making it to some l33t hackorz is very, very low.
 
2013-10-15 10:47:50 PM

scottydoesntknow: [images.wikia.com image 691x572]


We really touched on something with this post, but I'm afraid that's all we have time for. I assume you know that FARK sessions cost extra...
 
2013-10-15 11:19:04 PM

IamAwake: uh, no. The threat is that it will wind up at a person with rudementary sysadmin skills who thinks to try to see what was on the machine before reimaging it, and uses a recovery disk off the interwebs to get into the machine. Or worse, that the machine didn't even ask for a password at all, which is how most people's personal-use laptops are configured (auto-logon ftw!)

The "threat" of the laptop making it to some l33t hackorz is very, very low.


Ding ding ding!

Give me an unencrypted Windows laptop and I could have the data off it in 5 minutes. Mac or Linux, probably an hour, only because I don't at the moment have a Linux box around to plug it into to access the file system. Now, I very well may not have the mindset of a thief, but if I were to steal a laptop taking a quick look around is pretty much the first thing I'd try. (Selling the thing before re-imaging it would be kind of dumb.)

Give me an encrypted machine? Nope. Well, I guess I could probably find a password guesser. But anything more sophisticated is well beyond me. So as a thief, what do I do? Say "maybe there's something good on here" and spend a fair bit of money getting it to someone to maybe hack in just in case there's data worth money? Or reimage it and sell it like I planned to do from the get-go?

That probably covers 99.95% of all laptop thefts.
 
2013-10-15 11:39:18 PM

evaned: IamAwake: uh, no. The threat is that it will wind up at a person with rudementary sysadmin skills who thinks to try to see what was on the machine before reimaging it, and uses a recovery disk off the interwebs to get into the machine. Or worse, that the machine didn't even ask for a password at all, which is how most people's personal-use laptops are configured (auto-logon ftw!)

The "threat" of the laptop making it to some l33t hackorz is very, very low.

Ding ding ding!

Give me an unencrypted Windows laptop and I could have the data off it in 5 minutes. Mac or Linux, probably an hour, only because I don't at the moment have a Linux box around to plug it into to access the file system. Now, I very well may not have the mindset of a thief, but if I were to steal a laptop taking a quick look around is pretty much the first thing I'd try. (Selling the thing before re-imaging it would be kind of dumb.)

Give me an encrypted machine? Nope. Well, I guess I could probably find a password guesser. But anything more sophisticated is well beyond me. So as a thief, what do I do? Say "maybe there's something good on here" and spend a fair bit of money getting it to someone to maybe hack in just in case there's data worth money? Or reimage it and sell it like I planned to do from the get-go?

That probably covers 99.95% of all laptop thefts.


shrug, I was going by what I know of phone thefts.  If there's data on the phone the thieves can sell it for more than if there isn't.
If the data's sufficiently encrypted, it's the equivalent to not having any.  But if it's some weak encryption that the identity thief knows how to crack, surely he's willing to pay more right?
So, if BitLocker and FileVault are as easily cracked as Kahabut says, the prostitute is a threat to your BitLocker or FileVault encrypted data, because she knows a script kiddie who is on top of things and is paying more than Craiglist.
 
2013-10-16 12:17:50 AM

serial_crusher: So, if BitLocker and FileVault are as easily cracked as Kahabut says...


Except... I wouldn't say that's true. The only actual attacks I know of are a brute force password attack, and the "cold boot" attack that Wikipedia describes, which relies on the computer being either on or turned off very recently (a few minutes).
 
2013-10-16 03:26:30 AM
I'm not advocating lying, but dude should've kept his mouth shut.
 
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