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(Huffington Post)   To the person who stole my cell phone: Fark You. Also, thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line 9
    More: Obvious, poetry reading, Find My iPhone  
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761 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 15 Oct 2013 at 1:02 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-15 01:08:44 PM  
Was the lesson you learned to install something like Lookout on your phone? No? Then it wasn't that valuable.

/left my phone in a cab in Detroit once, was able to track it and get it back
//I've used the alarm function more than once to find it when I lost it in the couch cushions or someplace similar
 
2013-10-15 01:16:02 PM  
This is what I hope:

That you're not a thief. I hope you are merely a desperate person in a desperate situation. Maybe you lost your job, and you saw a phone laying there on the table and knew you could get a little quick cash from an automated phone trade-in machine.
Maybe you have children. Maybe you've been struggling week to week to keep them fed. Maybe you don't have children, but you yourself are having trouble making food appear on your dinner plate every night.
Maybe you have an income, but it's just enough to get by -- and medical expenses or an emergency repair to your car or even a speeding ticket threw your budget into a tizzy.
Maybe you're just like me -- going through one hell of a hard time. And you saw an easy fix to a situation and you took it.


Ask any con-man. The best con is the one where the victim doesn't know he's been conned. This is close.

They're a criminal. They need to be treated like a criminal.
 
2013-10-15 01:22:33 PM  
So I typed out a snarky post about the new self destruct app I installed on my phone and how I would get my revenge on any phone thief, but then I realized that talking about phones and remote deto... you know what, would probably get me on an even worse list than I am probably already on and maybe even a knock on the door.

So never mind, NSA. I was joking. No such app exists, especially on my phone which is so old and sad that it has none apps and no one would ever want to steal it anyway.
 
2013-10-15 02:20:10 PM  
Step 1:  Buy $500-800 smart phone
Step 2:  Carry it everywhere, leave it lying around in public places, display it constantly.
Step 3:  Wonder how it could possible have been lost or stolen.

May as well wave around a stack of $20's and leave them on your table while you use the restroom.
 
2013-10-15 03:25:02 PM  
[HAHA.JPG]

Dude is broke, has an expensive phone (he uses to do work) which he left behind when he got up to do a poetry reading. And now, he's trying to convince himself that his repeated stupidity is actually generous, altruistic acts?  That is priceless.  Thieves suck, but a hipster moran is still a moran.
 
2013-10-15 05:23:06 PM  
Joe,

Sorry to hear you got phone-hanked. Hope things turn around soon.
 
2013-10-15 05:29:27 PM  
Was the lesson that you're a moron for leaving valuables lying around in public?
 
2013-10-15 09:18:29 PM  

Seat's Taken: [HAHA.JPG]

Dude is broke, has an expensive phone (he uses to do work) which he left behind when he got up to do a poetry reading. And now, he's trying to convince himself that his repeated stupidity is actually generous, altruistic acts?  That is priceless.  Thieves suck, but a hipster moran is still a moran.


A big ol' THIS. The lesson that should have been learned was TAKE CARE OF YOUR GODDAMN PHONE, YA FARKIN' IDIOT.
 
2013-10-16 07:20:42 PM  
OMFG!

I left my phone in a laundromat bathroom and when I realized it and went back, it was gone.

You know what I did instead of writing a stupid article on the internet?

I bought a new phone.

And wondered what the horrifying porn on my phone did to whoever took it.
 
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