Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Man develops "plan" to take out tornados with SUV-mounted missiles. Check out the demo   ( divider line
    More: Silly  
•       •       •

18736 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2004 at 7:17 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

127 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

2004-01-18 08:00:13 PM

That's all I have to say about it.
2004-01-18 08:03:08 PM  
"They might be able to make a rocket that flies around the tornado and sprays nitrogen on it and freezes the tornado"

Uhu. Yeah.
2004-01-18 08:04:42 PM  
"Hmmmm, lets lob an exposive charge into a wood & grass filled unlit blast furnace, what could posssibly go wrong?"

[image from too old to be available]
2004-01-18 08:07:00 PM  
Site appears to be farked now ... additionally, if you make a missile fly into a tornado, whether or not it is designed to fly around a tornado, that's basically what it will end up doing after being captured in the vortex.

I'm not sure Nitrogen and freezing would work ... basically, the vortex is a dry animal and the substance that you usually see is dust and debris after the vortex touches the ground.
2004-01-18 08:07:52 PM  
He misspelled tornado in his proposal. To much of an asshat to use spellcheck and he wants millions? The comedic irony is side-splitting.

I'm envisioning what would happen if it WAS approved. Oh man. There would be a fleet of these things all the way down "tornado alley" including his version and every freekin' hillbilly's homemade version.

I can imagine the system tests the rednecks would carry out late Saturday night after a fifth of whiskey.

"What say we light this thing off and make sure it works, Jed? Just in case, you know..."

Oh yeah. Darwin Award goldmine.

"You can have my Tornadoe Control Pyrotechics when you pry them from my cold, dead hands."
2004-01-18 08:08:07 PM  
Site's farked now...way to go.

But still....I'm having trouble understanding this guy's logic. How does he come to the conclusion that a missile will stop a Tornado? Most missiles travel so fast they'll just pass through the target....or miss them completely and land in the trailer park 50 miles away. Because there's nothing really physical there to hit. It's just wind. Even a timed explosion is completely ineffective....what are you trying to hit?

What, is the tornado suddenly going to go "ow! That hurt!" and swirl away or something? Is it going to grow a fear of rednecks in pickups with mounted SAMs?

Can someone try and decipher this guy's logic for me?
2004-01-18 08:08:16 PM  
Damn! Site farked. After reading all of the comments hinting at the tremendous hilarity contained therein, I am very sad.
2004-01-18 08:10:24 PM  
Halfmast Trousers:

You're right. Why not sell these contraptions to trailer parks?

Chip in and defend the homestead from the dastardly evil of "tornadoes."
2004-01-18 08:10:41 PM  
He must have tested the tornado device on his web server. Aparently nitrogen cooling the CPU only works on models designed for it.

With his proposal misspelling of "tornadoe" I am curious as to his relation to former VP Dan Quayle.
2004-01-18 08:13:17 PM  
I can't wait for the next tornado to hit his neighborhood because great Fark content is sure to ensue:

[ DUMBASS ] "Tornado strikes Oklahoma. No one injured by tornado. Asshat fired missile at said tornado. Dozens dead, hundreds injured."

Well, I could go without the fatalaties and injuries, with the exception of this meteorological mastermind's certain Darwination.
2004-01-18 08:13:26 PM  
And why does the SUV need to be camoflaged? To sneak up on the tornado?
2004-01-18 08:13:26 PM  

apperently he plans on the missiles being timed to explode when they reach the tornado...too bad it's farked i was just starting to be entertained
2004-01-18 08:18:02 PM  
I guess the camouflaged SUV is an attempt to say "Sure officer, no missles here" ... "Oh, that silo-looking thing? ... it's the CB antenna."

I wonder what auto insurance would look like on a camouflaged SUV with a missile launcher built-in?
2004-01-18 08:18:56 PM  
More comedy:

"Here's what I think. Would it be comforting to know that the next time there is a tornado warning, some boys are going to roll up on it and blast it to smithereens! Well, there's about 10 million of you in tornado alley and if we can get 100,000 of you to donate $4.00 each, nothing can stop us."

Boys will "roll up on" and "blast to smithereens" a tornado for the low, low cost of $2 million per truck.

Don't forget to vote!
2004-01-18 08:19:09 PM  

Here we have a hillbilly who plans on firing missiles into tornados to
destroy them. Simple laws of physics and common sense dictate
this is going to fail spectacularily, with darwin-awards and
chevy-truck parts raining down for miles.


First, a big bomb isn't going to displace a tornado. Simply put,
there's not enough energy. Contrary to popular belief, tornadoes
are electromagnetic in nature - this is what allows the complex
structure and cohesion in the walls of the vortex. A tornado
has another name: a "charged sheath vortex".[1]

This guy doesn't realize that at the center of that storm,
wind can move in excess of 3.6 MILLION kilometers per hour[2]
due to the incredibly strong electromotive forces at work.
For comparative purposes, the space shuttle re-enters the
atmosphere at a paltry 27,000 kilometers per hour[3] -

His little firecracker isn't getting anywhere NEAR the
center of a tornado. At atomic bomb *might* generate
the necessary electromotive force, but that's about it.
And I, for one, am not in favor of atom bombs being handed
out to every bottom-rung hillbilly with a score to settle
with mother nature.

Signal 11
"The problem with reality is
the lack of background music."

1.​ics_for_ tornado.html
2. Same
3. Source:
2004-01-18 08:21:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-01-18 08:22:04 PM  
Note, the Patriot Missile knocked down one of our jets during Desert Storm, this looks like a case of throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Let's not go here anymore. Whenever NASA has an accident, to a women they say," fix the problem". This isn't callousness on my part, its belief in the cause and they give their lives willingly.

Sheer brilliance! Kinda like the TimeCube guy.
2004-01-18 08:23:34 PM  
Stupid idea. Sorry.
2004-01-18 08:23:43 PM  
Missile the tornadoes, nuke the hurricanes, add cement to the oceans to prevent tidal waves.

I support all these.
2004-01-18 08:25:52 PM  
Karma Police ... I grew up near the beach ... remember the parents saying that you should never drink ocean water.

I guess that'd really be true with a concrete ocean - drink wet concrete and get really stoned :)
2004-01-18 08:27:08 PM  
People keep saying you can't use explosives against vortex structures, for all sorts of valid-seeming reasons.

People also thought the nuke would ignite the earth's atmosphere. Has anyone ever tried exploding something in or around a twister?

I'm not saying it would work. I'm just curious if we have any empirical evidence to go on.
2004-01-18 08:27:37 PM  
This guy is either incredibly stupid, or indredibly dumb
2004-01-18 08:28:32 PM  
did anyone else see when describing the truck, he mentioned adding a "light cannon for night fighting?"
2004-01-18 08:28:33 PM  
I have always wondered what would happen if you set off a fuel air bomb in a supercell.

Its gotta do something.
2004-01-18 08:30:09 PM  
I'm all for seeding supercells and large thunderstorms with hot-wax mix ... that way, every storm is a car wash.
2004-01-18 08:33:45 PM  
Come on, you guys are so negative. We gave $87 billion to roll into Iraq. Why not give this guy and a few of his friends a few million? The purchase of a fleet of SUVs would prop up the US/Mexican auto industry and Boeing would love to bid on missiles that home in on . . . wind.

/oh hell.
2004-01-18 08:37:45 PM  
He must have fired the missile and accidently hit the web server.
2004-01-18 08:37:58 PM  
"light cannon for night fighting?"

Tornadoes can't come at night. It's too cool for them. They need the conditions to be dry and warm near the ground, like any ordinary thunderstorm, to push the moist, cold air upwards in a spiral formation. Like a runaway train, the more the air spirals, the faster it goes, producing the twister. At least, that's what I think happens.

Can tornadoes happen at night, or does this guy just want to get his hands on some miliatry ordnance?
2004-01-18 08:41:52 PM  
Google cache of the website, since the actual site itself is thoroughly farked up:
2004-01-18 08:43:20 PM  
This guy just changed the URL so his site would still seem farked ... the new URL is:
2004-01-18 08:48:48 PM  
yeah for some reason his website isnt working
2004-01-18 08:52:56 PM  
The Google cache is working just fine, however.. :-)

Is hillarious, indeed.
2004-01-18 08:53:33 PM  
Yup, it's been refarked. I've seen a server get Farked before, but I think this is the first time I've seen one get Farked twice from the same link.
2004-01-18 09:06:47 PM  
Ishkur - Your info that tornados run off of heat is correct. But some storms here in this part of tornado alley (North Texas) grow so large and powerful that they will persist and produce tornados long after the sun has set. During the peak tornado season, now thru June, it isn't uncommon to hear of severe weather all throughout the night.
2004-01-18 09:12:19 PM  
it seems everyone is unaware of
this website archives the internet pretty much.. check out hotmail like 5 years ago.. its hilarious

only problem being it doesnt archive too well and many images are lost
2004-01-18 09:13:08 PM  
Tornadoes can't come at night. It's too cool for them.

There exist photos and video of nighttime tornados, usually illuminated by lightning.

Explosives have also been proposed for use with hurricanes:
Every year, researchers at the Hurricane Research Division of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, or NOAA receives proposals on how to destroy a hurricane. Often they are outlandish plans such as using a nuclear bomb....
2004-01-18 09:19:38 PM  
Why couldn't a tornado exist at night? Sure they require a lot of energy, but that energy is already in the atmosphere. There is more during the day, as long as enough energy is around, it dosn't matter what time it is.

Here's a great example.
[image from too old to be available]
2004-01-18 09:23:47 PM  
From the updates page

I can see I'm getting my ASS kicked in the polls. I've got along way to go.

I want to thank the URL's that sent 2,100 visits to my site Oct.29,2003. (davebarryblogspot)(sensibleerection, what was that link?) There were 5,800 visits to this site in the month of October.

( Hehe, Sensibleerection)This is to funny.
2004-01-18 09:23:57 PM  
The web site's back working for the moment ... wonder if it'll get Farked again for the trifecta?
2004-01-18 09:43:21 PM  
The demo looks like something from the Superfriends.
2004-01-18 09:48:19 PM  
Yes, Tornadofighters (16) 9%
Yes, Tornadofighters but different technology (7) 4%
No, No Tornadofighters (152) 86%
Number of votes: 175.

2004-01-18 09:52:37 PM  
An armored truck with a multiple rocket launcher mounted on top. A computer with weather down link and printer. Rockets 30 plus 30, warning rockets 30 each.

Warning rockets? How 'bout we just attach a big loudspeaker to the truck and warn the approaching tornado to stay away? Surely that'd be more cost effective...
2004-01-18 10:05:44 PM  
I think this is one of the last guys in the world I want turned loose with mobile missle launchers!
2004-01-18 10:15:34 PM  
2004-01-18 10:17:04 PM  

I think there's a few people I'd rather not have a launcher more than this guy.

e.g., Ray Charles
2004-01-18 10:26:10 PM  

Just because Peter Thompson knows how to make a website doesn't mean his physics analysis is rigorous, or even applicable to reality.

Contrary to your and Thompson's opinion, a tornado is a big motherfarking weather system which feeds on the latent heat of water vaporization. Only.

The EM energy present isn't within 6 orders of magnitude of the heat energy. You get an F.
2004-01-18 10:28:33 PM  
This guy's a genius! When it came to stopping tornadoes, I always thought the answer would have been to simply invade Iraq, but now that I've been proven wrong, the answer is clear! Thank you, anonymous redneck with an imitation MLRS!

Budweiser should do a "Real American Heroes" commercial about this guy...
2004-01-18 10:44:29 PM  
You gotta use nuclear... it won't work with anything else.
2004-01-18 10:52:02 PM  
Lol. That's bee-YOOO-tiful.
2004-01-18 10:53:11 PM  
Somebody wants control over the uncontrollable?

Somebody wants to use unnecessarily powerful explosives to get this control?

Somebody will inevitabley fail and look like a complete jack-ass to be ridiculed by the history books for decades to come?


Sounds familiar.
Displayed 50 of 127 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.