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(Slate)   "Your tablet computer is not cool. Your rideshare app is not cool. Your TED Talk on mindful tweeting is--I hope you'll agree--pretty clearly not cool"   (slate.com) divider line 73
    More: Obvious, tablet computer, mobile apps, leisure suits  
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3400 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Oct 2013 at 7:37 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-15 07:31:48 AM
But all the people selling me this stuff told me it was.
 
2013-10-15 07:37:24 AM
I think Steve McQueen is about to drive through that writer's living room.
 
2013-10-15 07:43:45 AM
Slate was never cool
 
2013-10-15 07:44:05 AM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-10-15 07:44:23 AM
Scraping the bottom of the barrel for an idea for this week's cranky blog is not cool
 
2013-10-15 07:47:11 AM
I don't care if [insert whatever technology I'm using at the moment] is cool, I just care if it's productive or fun. If I want to be cool or ironic, I'll make a bootleg Poochie tshirt.
 
2013-10-15 07:52:33 AM
What an arsehole.  Glad to see their are people in the world who get angrier than I do at even more stupid shiat.
 
2013-10-15 07:55:21 AM

Kibbler: Scraping the bottom of the barrel for an idea for this week's cranky blog is not cool


Hey, she hit her word count and met her deadline. I'm sure she's cool with it.
 
2013-10-15 08:04:13 AM
Someone so uncool they are writing an article about reclaiming cool, means they cannot reclaim cool.

Uncool.

Now anyone got some coolwhip?
 
2013-10-15 08:09:30 AM
Being able to write that much and say absolutely nothing deserves some kind of reward or recognition. That was awesome.
 
2013-10-15 08:21:48 AM
Yeah modern technology isn't cool! You know what's cool, is Snap Bracelets.
 
2013-10-15 08:26:25 AM
Curmudgeon-like typing detected.

/words evolve, get over it
 
2013-10-15 08:27:49 AM
i'm so cool i didn't even read lol
 
2013-10-15 08:29:40 AM
Cool is indifference...
... which this guy is most definitely not.

Especially about reclaiming the word "cool" to stand for indifference.

He gives too many farks.
www.allhailtheblackmarket.com
 
2013-10-15 08:32:40 AM
I'll agree with one thing: tablets aren't cool. They're computers for retards. And watching "tech writers" talk about them in messianic apocalyptic terms, the one true coming lord of computational dominion, is embarrassing and nauseating.

And with this post I commemorate the beginning of the computer wars.
 
2013-10-15 08:37:09 AM

natmar_76: I'll agree with one thing: tablets aren't cool. They're computers for retards. And watching "tech writers" talk about them in messianic apocalyptic terms, the one true coming lord of computational dominion, is embarrassing and nauseating.

And with this post I commemorate the beginning of the computer wars.


This is a blindingly inane point of view, and I hope you are not in any position of power in the Tech world.
 
2013-10-15 08:42:02 AM

LasersHurt: This is a blindingly inane point of view, and I hope you are not in any position of power in the Tech world.


I would have said "spot on". Tablet 'computers' are for the technologically backward. They serve no additional function outside of appearing 'cool' and 'intelligent', with the *only* benefit being a slightly larger viewing area. Everything else is downside.

Anyone arguing for their use with reference to productivity is either intentionally or unintentionally delusional. They're toys and status symbols. Nothing more.
 
2013-10-15 08:43:22 AM

natmar_76: I'll agree with one thing: tablets aren't cool. They're computers for retards. And watching "tech writers" talk about them in messianic apocalyptic terms, the one true coming lord of computational dominion, is embarrassing and nauseating.

And with this post I commemorate the beginning of the computer wars.


who cares
 
2013-10-15 08:43:34 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: LasersHurt: This is a blindingly inane point of view, and I hope you are not in any position of power in the Tech world.

I would have said "spot on". Tablet 'computers' are for the technologically backward. They serve no additional function outside of appearing 'cool' and 'intelligent', with the *only* benefit being a slightly larger viewing area. Everything else is downside.

Anyone arguing for their use with reference to productivity is either intentionally or unintentionally delusional. They're toys and status symbols. Nothing more.


I want to be sure you're both aware you're referring to a form factor that includes full Windows 8 machines. Are you both aware of this?
 
2013-10-15 08:44:11 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: LasersHurt: This is a blindingly inane point of view, and I hope you are not in any position of power in the Tech world.

I would have said "spot on". Tablet 'computers' are for the technologically backward. They serve no additional function outside of appearing 'cool' and 'intelligent', with the *only* benefit being a slightly larger viewing area. Everything else is downside.

Anyone arguing for their use with reference to productivity is either intentionally or unintentionally delusional. They're toys and status symbols. Nothing more.


Know how I know you don't know how to draw?
 
2013-10-15 08:44:21 AM
Sing along with the indifferent people.
Sing along and it might just get you through.
Laugh along with the withdrawn people.
Laugh along even though they're laughing at you,
and the stupid things that you do,
because you think that geek is cool.
 
2013-10-15 08:49:30 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: Tablet 'computers' are for the technologically backward


I'll remember that when I'm in the server room later using my tablet to SSH and RDP to machines without having to dick around with the KVM. Or when I'm laying in bed at 2 am and get a notice that a VM has failed and I only have to take 5 minutes to remotely connect and run a script to move it to a new virtual host from my pillow instead of having to get up and fumble around with my laptop and VPN connection.

But, please, continue. Enlighten us with your technologically forward thoughts.

LasersHurt: Windows 8 machines


Don't help him prove his point.

/ it's easier and quicker to manage Windows machines from a rooted Android tablet than a factory Surface Pro
 
2013-10-15 08:51:03 AM

skozlaw: LasersHurt: Windows 8 machines

Don't help him prove his point.

/ it's easier and quicker to manage Windows machines from a rooted Android tablet than a factory Surface Pro


I usually do it from my iPad because my Android Tab is pretty sluggish, haven't yet gotten a Surface Pro to dingle with. That said, I can't imagine it's all that hard there either.
 
2013-10-15 08:55:33 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: LasersHurt: This is a blindingly inane point of view, and I hope you are not in any position of power in the Tech world.

I would have said "spot on". Tablet 'computers' are for the technologically backward. They serve no additional function outside of appearing 'cool' and 'intelligent', with the *only* benefit being a slightly larger viewing area. Everything else is downside.

Anyone arguing for their use with reference to productivity is either intentionally or unintentionally delusional. They're toys and status symbols. Nothing more.


So much this.

There are valid business uses - Square register, smart-room controls that also hook into room reservation (conference rooms).  But 99% of tablets are just used for games and media consumption.

If I can't run a development suite for a modern language on it, plus a web server and database server in sandbox mode, it's not a computer.
 
2013-10-15 08:58:03 AM

LasersHurt: I want to be sure you're both aware you're referring to a form factor that includes full Windows 8 machines. Are you both aware of this?


Yes.  And they're still toys.  Outside of some specialty POS uses, if I want to really get work done, I use a PC with a keyboard and mouse.  If I want to fire birds from catapults or slice digital fruit, I use a tablet.  The OS on it is irrelevant to that.
 
2013-10-15 08:59:53 AM

ReverendJasen: LasersHurt: I want to be sure you're both aware you're referring to a form factor that includes full Windows 8 machines. Are you both aware of this?

Yes.  And they're still toys.  Outside of some specialty POS uses, if I want to really get work done, I use a PC with a keyboard and mouse.  If I want to fire birds from catapults or slice digital fruit, I use a tablet.  The OS on it is irrelevant to that.


So it's irrelevant to you that you can attach a keyboard and mouse?
 
2013-10-15 09:06:03 AM

skozlaw: I'll remember that when I'm in the server room later using my tablet to SSH and RDP to machines without having to dick around with the KVM.


1) If you're entering network credentials into software on a tablet, you should be fired.
2) All tasks quite capably achievable via most smart phones
3) The minuscule number of folks who actually use them functionally barely rate a mention when compared to the sheer flood of mouth-breathing dimbulbs out there pawing at them like a horde of destitute stroke victims.

Primary purchase reason for these superfluous bits of disposable tech: Entertainment and 'prestige'.
 
2013-10-15 09:07:42 AM

skozlaw: I'll remember that when I'm in the server room later using my tablet to SSH and RDP to machines without having to dick around with the KVM.


I do that it too.  It's real handy if you're out and about and need to pop on real fast and so something real simple.  If I'm going to be spending more than a few minutes on it, or have to type more than a couple commands, or need to see more of the screen than 600x400 at a time, it's a goddamn pain in the ass and I'll go for the laptop or KVM every time.  The loss of efficiency and ease of use are more of a detriment to me.  This is why I laugh when people say tablets will take over the PC market.  They won't do that any more than smart phones did.
 
2013-10-15 09:11:46 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: 'prestige'.


Explain to me why you think ANYONE thinks there's prestige involved? I've never encountered anyone who thinks tablets are a matter of prestige or are status symbols, and I work with Mobile Devices for a living. It sounds like something you've made up to whine about.
 
2013-10-15 09:12:54 AM

LasersHurt: So it's irrelevant to you that you can attach a keyboard and mouse?


If I'm doing that, I just made it a laptop.  I have a laptop, and it's faster and has a larger screen than the tablet.
 
2013-10-15 09:14:04 AM
The author's jeans are so skinny that my balls felt pinched just reading the article.
 
2013-10-15 09:14:36 AM

ReverendJasen: LasersHurt: So it's irrelevant to you that you can attach a keyboard and mouse?

If I'm doing that, I just made it a laptop.  I have a laptop, and it's faster and has a larger screen than the tablet.


So now that some Tablets are Laptops, do you still support the idea that tablets are non-computer toys? (this was the argument being had - I know you came in mid-stride, but I was hoping you could try to link it back to what we were talking about.)
 
2013-10-15 09:23:24 AM

LasersHurt: I work with Mobile Devices for a living


Sounds like your POV would be reasonable and unbiased.

Clearly the sales of what amounts to horribly under-powered yet equally over-priced toys are being driven by an actual need as opposed to an aspiration. Clearly.

LasersHurt: now that some Tablets are Laptops, do you still support the idea that tablets are non-computer toys

I refer to them as craptops. Neither one nor the other. Can't run an EDI at anything approximating usable speed, can't run a VM, limited RAM, power-shy CPU...

They're exactly what they appear to be. Adding a keyboard does not resolve the underlying issue. It's a device designed around media consumption, not input.
 
2013-10-15 09:25:14 AM

AdamK: natmar_76: I'll agree with one thing: tablets aren't cool. They're computers for retards. And watching "tech writers" talk about them in messianic apocalyptic terms, the one true coming lord of computational dominion, is embarrassing and nauseating.

And with this post I commemorate the beginning of the computer wars.

who cares


Your mom
 
2013-10-15 09:25:52 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: 1) If you're entering network credentials into software on a tablet, you should be fired.


You have no idea what you're talking about nor do you understand even the basics of any of the underlying technologies that have been commonly used in remote management scenarios since long before tablets became a "thing".

nulluspixiusdemonica: 3) The minuscule number of folks who actually use them functionally barely rate a mention when compared to the sheer flood of mouth-breathing dimbulbs out there pawing at them like a horde of destitute stroke victims.


Did you get that in an email from your grandma while you were playing Borderlands 2?

Yea, yea, we get it. You have it all figured out and only the things you do are useful and everybody else is retarded and just can't see your glorious light leading us from the darkness.

What, exactly, is it that you do for a living again?

ReverendJasen: . If I'm going to be spending more than a few minutes on it, or have to type more than a couple commands, or need to see more of the screen than 600x400 at a time, it's a goddamn pain in the ass and I'll go for the laptop or KVM every time.


It's almost as if throughout the entirety of time humans have crafted multiple tools that are customized to specific jobs in ways that take advantage of the unique demands of that specific task.

Next thing you'll start telling me you don't pound in screws with a hammer or something.

I'm sorry for the sarcasm (no, I'm not) but either your comment is entirely outside the bounds of numbnuts' up there or you're just sort of stating that obvious. That different tasks often require different tools. I mean, sometimes I use the out of band management on the servers too. Not often, but sometimes it's handy. The fact that I don't use it very often doesn't invalidate any of the other tools I use, however.
 
2013-10-15 09:28:02 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: LasersHurt: I work with Mobile Devices for a living

Sounds like your POV would be reasonable and unbiased.


Yes, knowing what I am talking about is a handicap.
 
2013-10-15 09:28:36 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: Primary purchase reason for these superfluous bits of disposable tech: Entertainment and 'prestige'.


I received my Nook as a gift. I put Android on it because I can use it to read, connect to my home machines, and check my e-mail. The only one of those things I could do w/ my DS Lite was check my e-mail and that only worked with a really strong wi-fi signal.

I guess you could consider reading as entertainment use, but if that was the primary reason for "purchasing" it, I wouldn't have rooted it.
 
2013-10-15 09:34:13 AM
Occasionally I get incensed by wasting my time on an article. This is one of them. That dipshiat needs to tug one out before writing an article, so we don't need to see it on the page.
 
2013-10-15 09:38:00 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: 1) If you're entering network credentials into software on a tablet, you should be fired.
2) All tasks quite capably achievable via most smart phones


Wait whut?  You are against entering credentials on a tablet but are OK using a smart phone to do the same?
 
2013-10-15 09:41:22 AM

skozlaw: You have no idea what you're talking about nor do you understand even the basics of any of the underlying technologies that have been commonly used in remote management scenarios since long before tablets became a "thing".


You've implemented 2/3 factor authentication? No? Fired.  :)
 
2013-10-15 09:41:42 AM
My tablet converts into a high battery life laptop by just sliding it into a keyboard dock, complete with USB and other peripherals. I can draw on it when I'm trying to illustrate things for my students a thousand miles away, and use the built-in microphone and webcam for simultaneous voice and video chat. When I want to take a break, I can launch a simple app and play a whole lot of the games on my computer at home, using either mouse and keyboard or translated touch controls - or I can boot up DOSBox and play a lot of the games I loved from the '90s and early '00s era. I can and have wirelessly tethered my rooted phone and played Skyrim on a park bench, simply because I could. I can do word processing and email with the keyboard when I'm at a stable place, or via touch when I'm in bed. I'm perfectly capable of Can it do the high-octane games or the Paradox grand strategy games I love so much? No (although the latter is simply due to Paradox not thinking it's financially viable yet). And for none of this do I have to lug around a large laptop or deal with boot times or bring along a charger - the whole thing fits into a small case, and its power lasts all day save for the most graphically demanding tasks.

I grew up having to connect a 33.6 modem to the internet, fiddling with Winsock in Windows for Workgroups 3.11 on the off chance that I'd be able to start up a multiplayer game of DOOM over Dwango. Please, go ahead and tell me that my tablet isn't farking cool.
 
2013-10-15 09:42:33 AM
If he was cool, he probably wouldn't care about society's misuse of the word.
 
2013-10-15 09:43:40 AM

Saiga410: Wait whut?  You are against entering credentials on a tablet but are OK using a smart phone to do the same?


No.
 
2013-10-15 09:47:18 AM

LasersHurt: So now that some Tablets are Laptops, do you still support the idea that tablets are non-computer toys?


Having the keyboard/docking station makes them better of course.  But it makes them smaller, slower laptops, which kind of goes with the others' argument about going backwards.  Or at least making a functionality trade-off.  Slower and smaller, but more portable and a touchscreen.  Unless you really need a touchscreen, I'd personally prefer the full laptop to start with.

skozlaw: Next thing you'll start telling me you don't pound in screws with a hammer or something.


That depends entirely on how angry the screws have made me, and how much beer was involved.

I'm sorry for the sarcasm (no, I'm not) but either your comment is entirely outside the bounds of numbnuts' up there or you're just sort of stating that obvious. That different tasks often require different tools. I mean, sometimes I use the out of band management on the servers too. Not often, but sometimes it's handy. The fact that I don't use it very often doesn't invalidate any of the other tools I use, however.

I don't think I was agreeing with numbnuts.  Was just stating I find them less useful for the purpose you mentioned than you seem to.  So if anything, you could give me a stoplikingwhatIdontlike.jpg.  I'll take it.
 
2013-10-15 09:49:27 AM

FrancoFile: nulluspixiusdemonica: LasersHurt: This is a blindingly inane point of view, and I hope you are not in any position of power in the Tech world.

I would have said "spot on". Tablet 'computers' are for the technologically backward. They serve no additional function outside of appearing 'cool' and 'intelligent', with the *only* benefit being a slightly larger viewing area. Everything else is downside.

Anyone arguing for their use with reference to productivity is either intentionally or unintentionally delusional. They're toys and status symbols. Nothing more.

So much this.

There are valid business uses - Square register, smart-room controls that also hook into room reservation (conference rooms).  But 99% of tablets are just used for games and media consumption.

If I can't run a development suite for a modern language on it, plus a web server and database server in sandbox mode, it's not a computer.


Set up your sandbox servers and access them through terminal services. Same with any apps you want to run. Though that may not be an option for everyone.
 
2013-10-15 09:55:49 AM

ReverendJasen: Curmudgeon-like typing detected.

/words evolve, get over it


We need to take back the word "ass." I'm sick of turning around, expecting to see a donkey, every time one of my friends sees a pretty girl walk by.
 
2013-10-15 09:59:28 AM
i1.ytimg.com

Fark you, fark you, fark you, you're cool, and fark you!

/I'm out!
 
2013-10-15 10:31:40 AM
Sorry Slate. I just don't think you're cool enough to make a judgement call on who, or what, is cool.

media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com

Justin Timberlake is a god that gets to nail this every damn day.
 
2013-10-15 10:39:19 AM

nulluspixiusdemonica: You've implemented 2/3 factor authentication? No? Fired. :)


Are you a troll or an idiot? I honestly can't tell.
 
2013-10-15 10:50:38 AM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Sorry Slate. I just don't think you're cool enough to make a judgement call on who, or what, is cool.

[media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 736x736]

Justin Timberlake is a god that gets to nail this every damn day.



Timberlake's not cool. He just has the right connections and a deeper pocketbook.


And I agree with TFA. The nerds have stolen "cool" and used it to replace their nerd-words, like "neat", "neato" and "boffo."
 
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