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(Mother Nature Network)   Americans have a new fascination with the common hemorrhoid   (mnn.com) divider line 27
    More: Interesting, Americans, Google Trends, water balloon, Google Search  
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9164 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2013 at 6:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-14 06:29:44 PM  
11 votes:
There has been a dramatic increase in butthurt since 2008.
2013-10-14 05:12:49 PM  
8 votes:
Leave Ted Cruz alone!!11
2013-10-14 07:32:54 PM  
3 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-10-14 07:16:59 PM  
3 votes:
I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.
2013-10-14 09:26:11 PM  
2 votes:
Good thing I saw this before releasing my product on Dr. Oz. "The Poopinator BM2," is a Seated Adult Fecal Examination Unit that now clearly needs side arm lighted anal mirrors. I'll have to rework the jingle, "You can rinse it and retain it, microscopically explain it..."
2013-10-14 07:25:54 PM  
2 votes:

liverleef: I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.


I have never thought about my own asshole in the entirety of my life combined as much as I have while reading this post. I now want to sprinkle some baby powder on it and thank God the it's always worked pretty much as intended.
2013-10-14 05:07:12 PM  
2 votes:
He will be thrilled.

i1.ytimg.com
2013-10-14 11:38:39 PM  
1 votes:

Sgygus: There is a pause in your life like no other when you first realize you are BLEEDING OUT YOUR ASS.


th04.deviantart.net
2013-10-14 09:46:09 PM  
1 votes:
Next up ITT: The subtle difference between "You're an ass man" and "You're an ass, man".

/and it burns, burns, burns... that ring of fire, that ring of fire
2013-10-14 09:13:02 PM  
1 votes:
I like to assume I am almost as amused by scatological topics as Mozart was. Reading about anal fissures is no small exception.

/ass
2013-10-14 09:01:36 PM  
1 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-10-14 09:00:40 PM  
1 votes:
Approves.

launiusr.files.wordpress.com

/link hotter than 3rd base.
2013-10-14 08:56:05 PM  
1 votes:
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
2013-10-14 08:09:35 PM  
1 votes:

StoPPeRmobile: leevis: But it's the Polacks who managed to perform the first hemorrhoid transplant.

fark you racist shiatbag. Go crawl back to your mongrel home.


anongallery.org
2013-10-14 08:09:01 PM  
1 votes:
Well, under recent polls (October 4th through 6th), Americans currently have a higher opinion of hemorrhoids to Congressmen. 53% of people in the US say they have a higher opinion of hemorrhoids than Congress.

http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2013/PPP_Release_CONGRESS_108 .p df
2013-10-14 07:44:26 PM  
1 votes:
Will he use a shoe to go in there, like boot me in the ass or something?


THEY'RE TEARING THE ASS OUTTA ME
2013-10-14 07:26:06 PM  
1 votes:
I'm starting to get a funny feeling in my no-no parts after reading this thread.
2013-10-14 07:21:40 PM  
1 votes:

liverleef: I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.


Did they say anything about the gerbil that's lodged in there?
2013-10-14 07:14:09 PM  
1 votes:
Maybe we can get Elon Musk to design the non hemorrhoid toilet. Then we can buy more carbon credits. It's a win all around.
2013-10-14 07:07:48 PM  
1 votes:
That cheap 24 rolls of sandpaper is not helping.
2013-10-14 07:03:00 PM  
1 votes:
Does this track a rise in the mainstreaming of jamming it up her/his pooper?
2013-10-14 06:58:45 PM  
1 votes:
If Cruz is a hemorrhoid, then Boener is the anal fissure.
2013-10-14 06:55:26 PM  
1 votes:
Ground flax seeds, psyllium husk, bran and plenty of water.

Broccoli and roughage is good.

Magnesium if you're still not going well. Add dosage slowly.
2013-10-14 06:53:05 PM  
1 votes:
FIBER ONE BARS. Book it. Done. Ever since I started slamming down 2-3 of them a day, it's been smooth sailing with no bleeding ever. Shrinkage even. Those bars make really nice dessert snacks. I  love the caramel-coconut-fudge version. Stay away from the brownies. They're like wallpaper paste.

/listen up people, heed well my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice
2013-10-14 06:49:53 PM  
1 votes:
But enough about the Teatards.
2013-10-14 06:40:44 PM  
1 votes:
Pop culture.
2013-10-14 05:58:38 PM  
1 votes:
It's just viral marketing for the rollout of Preparation I
 
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