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(Mother Nature Network)   Americans have a new fascination with the common hemorrhoid   (mnn.com) divider line 15
    More: Interesting, Americans, Google Trends, water balloon, Google Search  
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9157 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2013 at 6:40 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-14 08:09:42 PM
2 votes:
I would bet that 80% of those searches are related to people trying to figure out how to spell the word correctly.
2013-10-14 07:16:59 PM
2 votes:
I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.
2013-10-14 06:29:44 PM
2 votes:
There has been a dramatic increase in butthurt since 2008.
2013-10-14 09:14:23 PM
1 votes:

Ronin_S: liverleef: I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.

Bro?

But seriously, I eat lots of vegetables and fiber but I know hemorrhoids runs in my family. Shortly after reading this article on bathroom posture, I noticed some bleeding and got a cheap stool to prop my feet up on. No problems since.


The veggies, fruit and whole grains are good, but, I've, also, been drinking a cup of kefir each day and any problems I had, have disappeared.   I don't want to sound like some foodie, hipster, douche bag, but I started drinking the stuff after listening to an NPR show, where a doc talked about all the organisms that live in and on us.  He stated that the gut flora and fauna were some of the most important.  I had always blown off the claims about probiotic products as so much advertising BS, but, the NPR show made me rethink all of that.  I started buying an kefir with 12 different kinds of bacteria, figuring that a wide spectrum was better than taking stuff that only contained one or two strains.  The stuff worked in a couple of days.  Everything has been moving along smoothly.  And it's lactose free, since the little ones have eaten all it.
2013-10-14 08:20:35 PM
1 votes:

liverleef: I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.


Bro?

But seriously, I eat lots of vegetables and fiber but I know hemorrhoids runs in my family. Shortly after reading this article on bathroom posture, I noticed some bleeding and got a cheap stool to prop my feet up on. No problems since.
2013-10-14 08:13:45 PM
1 votes:

Kid Lester: liverleef: I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.

I have never thought about my own asshole in the entirety of my life combined as much as I have while reading this post. I now want to sprinkle some baby powder on it and thank God the it's always worked pretty much as intended.


Speaking for all IBD sufferers everywhere, you should thank your normal, functional asshole every single day of your life.

/actually you should be thanking your intestines and stuff but you know what I mean
2013-10-14 08:13:05 PM
1 votes:
There's a bunch of things this new economy will do to google searches. "Living out of a box", "Selling my blood", "Price of bulk copper" will all skyrocket.
2013-10-14 08:09:01 PM
1 votes:
Well, under recent polls (October 4th through 6th), Americans currently have a higher opinion of hemorrhoids to Congressmen. 53% of people in the US say they have a higher opinion of hemorrhoids than Congress.

http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2013/PPP_Release_CONGRESS_108 .p df
2013-10-14 07:37:59 PM
1 votes:

liverleef: And thats all I have to say about that.


Jesus.

I think that's all there is to say about that.
2013-10-14 07:25:54 PM
1 votes:

liverleef: I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.


I have never thought about my own asshole in the entirety of my life combined as much as I have while reading this post. I now want to sprinkle some baby powder on it and thank God the it's always worked pretty much as intended.
2013-10-14 07:23:43 PM
1 votes:
What the hell is this thread supposed to be about?!?
2013-10-14 06:55:27 PM
1 votes:
Why isn't this safely on the Politics tab?
2013-10-14 06:53:05 PM
1 votes:
FIBER ONE BARS. Book it. Done. Ever since I started slamming down 2-3 of them a day, it's been smooth sailing with no bleeding ever. Shrinkage even. Those bars make really nice dessert snacks. I  love the caramel-coconut-fudge version. Stay away from the brownies. They're like wallpaper paste.

/listen up people, heed well my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice
2013-10-14 06:49:53 PM
1 votes:
But enough about the Teatards.
2013-10-14 05:12:49 PM
1 votes:
Leave Ted Cruz alone!!11
 
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