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Miley Cyrus replaced by a sage grouse, a strip club that will leave a lasting impression, and Khloe and Lamar Odom's four-word prenup: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/6 - 10/12 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-10-14 4:23:47 PM (4 comments) | Permalink

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4035 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2013 at 7:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Attention submitters: you have six weeks left to get in headlines to be considered in the Headline of the Year competition. That is all.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-10-06 to Sat 2013-10-12:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Congratulations to Steve Jobs. Two years cancer free  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The War in Afghanistan has officially become a teenager, is already slouching and talking back  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Utah policeman tickets Barbie's jeep. Meanwhile in Oregon, the armed standoff between the police and rogue members of G.I. Joe in Billy Macintire's sandbox has entered its third hour  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Hammer attack injures girl at Catholic school. Thank God her attacker didn't have any nails  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOklahoma, where the pipelines spontaneously burst into flaaaaaaaames  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man who helped senior citizens hook up for sex is arrested in Tokyo. Police say the smell of burning leather led them right to him  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Twerking is actually quite common in nature, which means we could probably replace Miley Cyrus with a sage grouse and nobody would be the wiser  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man jailed for recording co-worker with breast pump. Next time he'll use a tape recorder  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Men in wigs pee on woman, steal her iPhone. In subby's opinion, something needs to be done about these wild, roving packs of Barristers who are terrorizing the public  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Strip club dedicated exclusively to larger ladies opens in Las Vegas, owners promise lap dances will leave a lasting impression  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Urine test could diagnose eye disease, surprising none of the women who wonder why their boyfriends keep missing the toilet  


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Enver beats Allas in a game with no D  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Atlanta burned. This is not a repeat from Monday Night Football or 1864  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Another Sandusky arrested because of what he blew  


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Higgs boson scientists awarded Nobel prize in physics. This is massive news  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  "A dollop of peanut butter and a ruler might be a way to confirm a diagnosis of early-stage Alzheimer's disease." Or to see if your dog is bisexual  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  The lost Doctor Who episodes were found in a storage room in Nigeria. Apparently the owner kept trying to email people about them, asking for a small fee to cover shipping costs, but no one would reply  


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Tom Hanks announces he has Type 2 diabetes, possibly due to diets required by his film roles, like shrimp kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Khloe and Lamar Odom have a prenup. "Let the Wookiee win"  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Physician named as the seller of Marilyn Monroe's plastic surgery medical notes. Goodbye, normal genes  


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Poll: Americans like hemorrhoids better than Congress. RON POLYP  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  If Calvin Coolidge was president today, the federal government wouldn't be shut down. We would also have a 143-year-old president  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Government shutdown delays pay for VISTA workers. They should've upgraded to 7  


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Weakness in oil causes Nabors to decline 2%. Surprise, surprise, surprise  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Pickup line recalled for faulty seats. Hey baby, wanna see my leather seat?  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Consumer Reports says that the Heidi Klum baby stroller is a safety risk. Apparently it's not built well enough to earn a Seal
· · ·
(view entire blog)


4 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2013-10-14 07:41:00 PM  
 
2013-10-14 08:24:02 PM  
Damn, I didn't get one this week.

Must. Try. Harder.
 
2013-10-14 10:19:49 PM  

HawgWild: Damn, I didn't get one this week.

Must. Try. Harder.


You didn't get a HOTW? I haven't had a greenlight in a couple years.

/freaking showoffs.
 
2013-10-15 10:05:35 AM  
My first ever HOTW!
 
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