Miley Cyrus replaced by a sage grouse, a strip club that will leave a lasting impression, and Khloe and Lamar Odom's four-word prenup: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/6 - 10/12
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-10-14 4:23:47 PM (4 comments) | Permalink
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Attention submitters: you have six weeks left to get in headlines to be considered in the Headline of the Year competition. That is all.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-10-06 to Sat 2013-10-12:
Congratulations to Steve Jobs. Two years cancer free
The War in Afghanistan has officially become a teenager, is already slouching and talking back
Utah policeman tickets Barbie's jeep. Meanwhile in Oregon, the armed standoff between the police and rogue members of G.I. Joe in Billy Macintire's sandbox has entered its third hour
Hammer attack injures girl at Catholic school. Thank God her attacker didn't have any nails
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOklahoma, where the pipelines spontaneously burst into flaaaaaaaames
Man who helped senior citizens hook up for sex is arrested in Tokyo. Police say the smell of burning leather led them right to him
Twerking is actually quite common in nature, which means we could probably replace Miley Cyrus with a sage grouse and nobody would be the wiser
Man jailed for recording co-worker with breast pump. Next time he'll use a tape recorder
Men in wigs pee on woman, steal her iPhone. In subby's opinion, something needs to be done about these wild, roving packs of Barristers who are terrorizing the public
Strip club dedicated exclusively to larger ladies opens in Las Vegas, owners promise lap dances will leave a lasting impression
Urine test could diagnose eye disease, surprising none of the women who wonder why their boyfriends keep missing the toilet
Enver beats Allas in a game with no D
Atlanta burned. This is not a repeat from Monday Night Football or 1864
Another Sandusky arrested because of what he blew
Higgs boson scientists awarded Nobel prize in physics. This is massive news
"A dollop of peanut butter and a ruler might be a way to confirm a diagnosis of early-stage Alzheimer's disease." Or to see if your dog is bisexual
The lost Doctor Who episodes were found in a storage room in Nigeria. Apparently the owner kept trying to email people about them, asking for a small fee to cover shipping costs, but no one would reply
Tom Hanks announces he has Type 2 diabetes, possibly due to diets required by his film roles, like shrimp kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad
Khloe and Lamar Odom have a prenup. "Let the Wookiee win"
Physician named as the seller of Marilyn Monroe's plastic surgery medical notes. Goodbye, normal genes
Poll: Americans like hemorrhoids better than Congress. RON POLYP
If Calvin Coolidge was president today, the federal government wouldn't be shut down. We would also have a 143-year-old president
Government shutdown delays pay for VISTA workers. They should've upgraded to 7
Weakness in oil causes Nabors to decline 2%. Surprise, surprise, surprise
Pickup line recalled for faulty seats. Hey baby, wanna see my leather seat?
Consumer Reports says that the Heidi Klum baby stroller is a safety risk. Apparently it's not built well enough to earn a Seal
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