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(Daily Dot)   There's sexy Edward Snowden fanfiction now, because of course there is   (dailydot.com) divider line 51
    More: Obvious, NSFW, bitcoins  
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2694 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2013 at 6:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-14 04:51:13 PM  
No exceptions.
 
2013-10-14 05:31:42 PM  
I made my way through the icy storm. Blind, I couldn't see anything but felt a wall in front of me. The freezing sleet was pounding on my back. I knew that I had to find shelter or I would die. The secrets that held would die with me. The blinding sleet transformed into a blizzard.

Clutching the building, I made my way across it until I felt an indentation in the wall. I shuffled sideways until my body filled this frame. Sure enough it was a door. I rattled the door knob and it was unlocked. I entered and slammed the door behind me.

I lifted my goggles off my face. I was staring at someone's picturesque living room.  There was a brick fireplace and a blue couch. The floor was barren except for a large bearskin rug and a beautiful buxom blonde drinking what looked to be champagne out of an oversized glass. She seemed unphased by my entrance and smiled at me.

She untied her kimono with one hand and said, "Why don't you join me, you know we're snowed in."
 
2013-10-14 05:35:38 PM  
Rule 34, subs.  It trumps all.  ALL.
 
2013-10-14 06:29:17 PM  

Cagey B: No exceptions.


Benevolent Misanthrope: Rule 34, subs.  It trumps all.  ALL.


Well, my work is done here.
 
2013-10-14 06:30:03 PM  
Eh, wake me when it's slash fic
 
2013-10-14 06:33:59 PM  

Mercury: Eh, wake me when it's slash fic


His orange skin glistened in the moonlight.  "You know what you're doing is dangerous" cooed the Speaker, "but if it will get Obama, I'm up for anything"
 
2013-10-14 06:34:21 PM  
I guess seeing f* ck an entire country wasn't enough for some folks.
 
2013-10-14 06:34:25 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Rule 34, subs.  It trumps all.  ALL.


The Internet: The "Infinite monkeys" theorem but for Rule 34.
 
2013-10-14 06:35:27 PM  
That was being written on day 1, guaranteed.
 
2013-10-14 06:35:40 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Rule 34, subs.  It trumps all.  ALL.


Unless it falls under rule 35. Which, I suppose, you could say was an extension of rule 34.
 
2013-10-14 06:41:53 PM  
I'm surprised it took this long for someone to find it, let's face it, considering some of the world figures that have been placed in smut fic I'm sure we'll see Snowden/Manning slash fic in a week.
 
2013-10-14 06:44:13 PM  

SnakeLee: Mercury: Eh, wake me when it's slash fic

His orange skin glistened in the moonlight.  "You know what you're doing is dangerous" cooed the Speaker, "but if it will get Obama, I'm up for anything"


You had to throw Boehner in there, didn't you?

awesomelyluvvie.com
 
2013-10-14 06:53:03 PM  

ariseatex: SnakeLee: Mercury: Eh, wake me when it's slash fic

His orange skin glistened in the moonlight.  "You know what you're doing is dangerous" cooed the Speaker, "but if it will get Obama, I'm up for anything"

You had to throw Boehner in there, didn't you?

[awesomelyluvvie.com image 248x200]


It isn't that bad. You should have went with.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-14 06:53:23 PM  
Great. How about fanfic snuff lit about Ed Snowden? I'd buy that for a dollar.
 
2013-10-14 06:54:45 PM  

Disgruntled Dave: I'm surprised it took this long for someone to find it, let's face it, considering some of the world figures that have been placed in smut fic I'm sure we'll see Snowden/Manning slash fic in a week.


Ew ew ew ew ew
 
2013-10-14 06:57:58 PM  

Disgruntled Dave: I'm surprised it took this long for someone to find it, let's face it, considering some of the world figures that have been placed in smut fic I'm sure we'll see Snowden/Manning slash fic in a week.


Post-op or pre-op?

/ yeah; I had to go there
 
2013-10-14 07:01:44 PM  

ariseatex: SnakeLee: Mercury: Eh, wake me when it's slash fic

His orange skin glistened in the moonlight.  "You know what you're doing is dangerous" cooed the Speaker, "but if it will get Obama, I'm up for anything"

You had to throw Boehner in there, didn't you?

[awesomelyluvvie.com image 248x200]


Nope it from orbit; it's the only way to be sure.
 
2013-10-14 07:04:00 PM  

iheartscotch: Disgruntled Dave: I'm surprised it took this long for someone to find it, let's face it, considering some of the world figures that have been placed in smut fic I'm sure we'll see Snowden/Manning slash fic in a week.

Post-op or pre-op?

/ yeah; I had to go there


static.comicvine.com
 
2013-10-14 07:04:08 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: I made my way through the icy storm. Blind, I couldn't see anything but felt a wall in front of me. The freezing sleet was pounding on my back. I knew that I had to find shelter or I would die. The secrets that held would die with me. The blinding sleet transformed into a blizzard.

Clutching the building, I made my way across it until I felt an indentation in the wall. I shuffled sideways until my body filled this frame. Sure enough it was a door. I rattled the door knob and it was unlocked. I entered and slammed the door behind me.

I lifted my goggles off my face. I was staring at someone's picturesque living room.  There was a brick fireplace and a blue couch. The floor was barren except for a large bearskin rug and a beautiful buxom blonde drinking what looked to be champagne out of an oversized glass. She seemed unphased by my entrance and smiled at me.

She untied her kimono with one hand and said, "Why don't you join me, you know we're snowed in."


"I get it!" I shouted clumsily "because 'Snowden' sounds like 'snowed in'!"

She removed my pocket protector and flung it aside.

"Stop talking, you're much more sexy when you're betraying your country."

"Damn this Asperger's Syndrome!" I thought to myself.  I unfastened the top TWO buttons on my plaid shirt and said "I'm saving my country!  Not betraying it."

She pulled me close, her strawberry scented breath fogging my glasses.

"You will make sweet love to me and tell me everything you know."

"Well, okay, but my rate of speech times the amount of information I have divided by my sexual stamina is currently 143."  I opened two more buttons and said "Do you think you can handle a man like me that many times?"

"Make me your USB port!"
 
2013-10-14 07:05:38 PM  

ariseatex: iheartscotch: Disgruntled Dave: I'm surprised it took this long for someone to find it, let's face it, considering some of the world figures that have been placed in smut fic I'm sure we'll see Snowden/Manning slash fic in a week.

Post-op or pre-op?

/ yeah; I had to go there

[static.comicvine.com image 265x310]


Dammit!  You owe me and the neighbors three houses down a new keyboard!
 
2013-10-14 07:07:32 PM  

SnakeLee: Mercury: Eh, wake me when it's slash fic

His orange skin glistened in the moonlight.  "You know what you're doing is dangerous" cooed the Speaker, "but if it will get Obama, I'm up for anything"


I was hoping for Snowden/Assange fic but I'll take what I can get.
 
2013-10-14 07:13:09 PM  

jmayson: "I get it!" I shouted clumsily "because 'Snowden' sounds like 'snowed in'!"


You are so obviously out of touch with the genre.

d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net
 
2013-10-14 07:14:52 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: jmayson: "I get it!" I shouted clumsily "because 'Snowden' sounds like 'snowed in'!"

You are so obviously out of touch with the genre.

[d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net image 318x463]


Uh... no... I... uh, read those ALL the time!  Yeah, that's the ticket.  It's Snowden who was out of touch.  Part of his nerdy persona.

Okay, you got me.  :-/
 
2013-10-14 07:17:03 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: Great. How about fanfic snuff lit about Ed Snowden? I'd buy that for a dollar.


Awwww, looks who's mad at someone for pointing out the lies and deceit. poor baby, maybe you can be reinserted into the matrix.
 
2013-10-14 07:27:55 PM  
Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.
 
2013-10-14 07:29:57 PM  

iheartscotch: Disgruntled Dave: I'm surprised it took this long for someone to find it, let's face it, considering some of the world figures that have been placed in smut fic I'm sure we'll see Snowden/Manning slash fic in a week.

Post-op or pre-op?

/ yeah; I had to go there


INTRA-op. Now that's hardcore.

/Shudders to think about rule 34 applications to this one.
//Luckily at work, can't find out.
 
2013-10-14 07:31:42 PM  

Mercury: SnakeLee: Mercury: Eh, wake me when it's slash fic

His orange skin glistened in the moonlight.  "You know what you're doing is dangerous" cooed the Speaker, "but if it will get Obama, I'm up for anything"

I was hoping for Snowden/Assange fic but I'll take what I can get.


Two guys bukkake on a nation.

/two guys.
//how pathetic of a nation
 
2013-10-14 07:35:43 PM  

skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.


Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator
 
2013-10-14 07:42:53 PM  
What ever happened to Snowdens ballet dancing stripper girlfriend from Hawaii? I really want to comfort her. Or read some sexy fiction about her at the very least.
 
2013-10-14 07:47:08 PM  

grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator


You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.
 
2013-10-14 07:51:44 PM  

lake_huron: iheartscotch: Disgruntled Dave: I'm surprised it took this long for someone to find it, let's face it, considering some of the world figures that have been placed in smut fic I'm sure we'll see Snowden/Manning slash fic in a week.

Post-op or pre-op?

/ yeah; I had to go there

INTRA-op. Now that's hardcore.

/Shudders to think about rule 34 applications to this one.
//Luckily at work, can't find out.


Intra-op? Is that even a thing? Don't answer that question. It probably leads to girls with A cups getting boob jobs; while doing the nasty.

/ still; doesn't have anything on the BMSD world championship.

// If you value your sanity; DO NOT, under any circumstance, GIS any of those three words together.
 
2013-10-14 07:54:48 PM  

iheartscotch: / still; doesn't have anything on the BMSD world championship.


Why?  The Biomolecular Structure and Design group at U. Washington, aside from being successful scientifcally, produces many really aesthetically pleasing pictures of their macromolecular structures:

http://depts.washington.edu/bmsd/index.php">http://depts.washington. edu/bmsd/index.php
 
2013-10-14 07:55:34 PM  

iheartscotch: grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator

You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.


I'd be happy with a psyche analysis.
 
2013-10-14 08:07:08 PM  
Every time I see the name Edward Snowden, I keep thinking he's the Twilight vampire. So sexy fanfic is par for the course, right?
 
2013-10-14 08:12:24 PM  
Why not? They're all fellating him anyway.
 
2013-10-14 08:20:00 PM  

SnakeLee: Mercury: Eh, wake me when it's slash fic

His orange skin glistened in the moonlight.  "You know what you're doing is dangerous" cooed the Speaker, "but if it will get Obama, I'm up for anything"


NO NO NO NO NO!!! Fark you! I will never get that image out of my head, now!
 
2013-10-14 08:32:28 PM  
China and Russia pounding me for info
 
2013-10-14 08:41:09 PM  
Nobody ever writes sexy fan fiction about me. ;_;
 
2013-10-14 08:42:42 PM  
Of course, 2 pages into the book and he'll already have revealed the shocker...
 
2013-10-14 08:44:23 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: Kumana Wanalaia: Great. How about fanfic snuff lit about Ed Snowden? I'd buy that for a dollar.

Awwww, looks who's mad at someone for pointing out the lies and deceit. poor baby, maybe you can be reinserted into the matrix.


Intelligence gathering is supposed to be secret. What I'm mad about is being made less safe.
 
2013-10-14 08:51:39 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: StoPPeRmobile: Kumana Wanalaia: Great. How about fanfic snuff lit about Ed Snowden? I'd buy that for a dollar.

Awwww, looks who's mad at someone for pointing out the lies and deceit. poor baby, maybe you can be reinserted into the matrix.

Intelligence gathering is supposed to be secret. What I'm mad about is being made less safe.


wow....  Really?  You feel "less safe."   I call shenanigans that you ACTUALLY feel less safe, but if it is true then I just feel pity for you.
 
2013-10-14 09:00:28 PM  
Shouldn't someone be posting the "science fiction fans are better than" org chart that ends with "furries who write erotic Star Trek fan fiction and write themselves into the stories"?
 
2013-10-14 09:09:47 PM  
Nerdy disestablishmentarianism is just about the sexiest thing in my head, so I'll be all over that. But only after I name my next vibrator Snowden and make an evening out of it while dressed like a Russian spy, "yes YES, leak moar LEAK MOAR fill me with your stolen data AAAAHHHH!!"
 
2013-10-14 09:49:59 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: iheartscotch: grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator

You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.

I'd be happy with a psyche analysis.


Why is that? And does that mean we can call for psyche analysis' for all members of the government?
 
2013-10-14 10:22:22 PM  

Ghastly: Nobody ever writes sexy fan fiction about me. ;_;


Okay, fine.

He clicked through my website page by page reading every webcomic I had drawn. I saw a twinkle in his eye as he said "I still prefer Tintin" and walked out my door in search of that dastardly boy reporter!

The End
 
2013-10-15 12:19:52 AM  

grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: iheartscotch: grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator

You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.

I'd be happy with a psyche analysis.

Why is that? And does that mean we can call for psyche analysis' for all members of the government?


Yes.

If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear. Pretty simple really.

What are you hiding grumpfuff?
 
2013-10-15 12:21:26 AM  

StoPPeRmobile: grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: iheartscotch: grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator

You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.

I'd be happy with a psyche analysis.

Why is that? And does that mean we can call for psyche analysis' for all members of the government?

Yes.

If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear. Pretty simple really.

What are you hiding grumpfuff?


I'm just asking questions!
 
2013-10-15 12:24:49 AM  

grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: iheartscotch: grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator

You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.

I'd be happy with a psyche analysis.

Why is that? And does that mean we can call for psyche analysis' for all members of the government?

Yes.

If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear. Pretty simple really.

What are you hiding grumpfuff?

I'm just asking questions!


To elaborate. Since I'm not running for politics, you shouldn't worry about the results of my evaluation. You should, however, be worried about people like Palin, Bachmann, Cruz, Paul, and Rubio, because I doubt they'd be in politics much longer if we instituted that policy.
 
2013-10-15 12:38:55 AM  

grumpfuff: grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: iheartscotch: grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator

You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.

I'd be happy with a psyche analysis.

Why is that? And does that mean we can call for psyche analysis' for all members of the government?

Yes.

If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear. Pretty simple really.

What are you hiding grumpfuff?

I'm just asking questions!

To elaborate. Since I'm not running for politics, you shouldn't worry about the results of my evaluation. You should, however, be worried about people like Palin, Bachmann, Cruz, Paul, and Rubio, because I doubt they'd be in politics much longer if we instituted that policy.


Ah, now you see the beauty of my plan.
 
2013-10-15 12:40:57 AM  

StoPPeRmobile: grumpfuff: grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: grumpfuff: StoPPeRmobile: iheartscotch: grumpfuff: skylabdown: Well, it's going to take a long time to catch up with the volume of Obama fan fiction displayed daily here on Fark.

Obama fan fiction ain't got nothing on GOP fan fiction.

/it's a slim down!
//if we default, it will HELP the world economy
///if it's a legitimate rape...
////rape victims get cleaned out by rape kits
//ACORN!
//muslim kenyan atheist empty suit socialist dictator

You forgot about his fake birth certificate!

/ personally; I want Obama to release his long form cat-scan certificate. Why? To prove he's not a lizard person.

I'd be happy with a psyche analysis.

Why is that? And does that mean we can call for psyche analysis' for all members of the government?

Yes.

If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear. Pretty simple really.

What are you hiding grumpfuff?

I'm just asking questions!

To elaborate. Since I'm not running for politics, you shouldn't worry about the results of my evaluation. You should, however, be worried about people like Palin, Bachmann, Cruz, Paul, and Rubio, because I doubt they'd be in politics much longer if we instituted that policy.

Ah, now you see the beauty of my plan.


Well then. It seems we are in agreement.
 
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