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(Mother Jones)   If you see Obama as the first horseman of the Apocalypse and want to know how to escape one of his FEMA Camps, it's going to cost you $37   (motherjones.com) divider line 67
    More: Stupid, Obama, FEMA Camps, FEMA, anonymous email, war profiteering, emergency evacuation, apocalypses  
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2024 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Oct 2013 at 11:22 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-14 10:23:39 AM
"The default will be armageddon," is brought to you by the the party that gave you such hits as, "The default isn't a big deal," and, "President Obama is ineffectual as a leader but will definitely complete his plan to take over the world," as well as, "Obama is a Muslim. A godless, marxist, atheist Muslim." Order now.
 
2013-10-14 10:39:10 AM
I have a fresh supply of dragon repelling rocks available at the low, low price of only $9.99*

/and if you call, now, I'll throw in a tiger repelling rock absolutely FREE*
//operators are standing by!


*Plus shipping & handling and state taxes
 
2013-10-14 10:40:00 AM
I find it hilarious that the far left loonies and the far right loonies, both think the government is going to send them to FEMA camps.
 
2013-10-14 10:50:09 AM
A fool and his money are soon parted
 
2013-10-14 10:56:05 AM
Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

So many questions, yet so much derp.
 
2013-10-14 11:17:11 AM

miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?


Have you not heard at all about the secret instructions for an invading UN army that are printed on the backs of American road signs? There may only be 2 million American soldiers loyal to Obama (and the number is probably lower than that, because undoubtedly some soldiers will balk at being ordered to force their fellow citizens into internment camps; expect some brief intra-military combat, but most experts predict that such uprisings will be quickly quashed minus significant numbers of partisan assistance from armed citizens, a possibility that is far less likely than a few years ago due to Obama's efforts to seize guns and stockpile ammunition in the hands of DHS and other government agencies), but once the UN lands its troops, the blue helmet will become the defacto symbol of Obama's tyranny.
 
2013-10-14 11:19:05 AM

Tom_Slick: I find it hilarious that the far left loonies and the far right loonies, both think the government is going to send them to FEMA camps.


Didn't read the article, huh?
 
2013-10-14 11:19:39 AM

Pocket Ninja: miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

Have you not heard at all about the secret instructions for an invading UN army that are printed on the backs of American road signs? There may only be 2 million American soldiers loyal to Obama (and the number is probably lower than that, because undoubtedly some soldiers will balk at being ordered to force their fellow citizens into internment camps; expect some brief intra-military combat, but most experts predict that such uprisings will be quickly quashed minus significant numbers of partisan assistance from armed citizens, a possibility that is far less likely than a few years ago due to Obama's efforts to seize guns and stockpile ammunition in the hands of DHS and other government agencies), but once the UN lands its troops, the blue helmet will become the defacto symbol of Obama's tyranny.


Oh that is good, I had not heard the secret UN Army Instructions on the back of roadsigns bit before.  I really miss Art Bell, the conspiracy nut jobs were great entertainment.
 
2013-10-14 11:20:55 AM

Pocket Ninja: miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

Have you not heard at all about the secret instructions for an invading UN army that are printed on the backs of American road signs? There may only be 2 million American soldiers loyal to Obama (and the number is probably lower than that, because undoubtedly some soldiers will balk at being ordered to force their fellow citizens into internment camps; expect some brief intra-military combat, but most experts predict that such uprisings will be quickly quashed minus significant numbers of partisan assistance from armed citizens, a possibility that is far less likely than a few years ago due to Obama's efforts to seize guns and stockpile ammunition in the hands of DHS and other government agencies), but once the UN lands its troops, the blue helmet will become the defacto symbol of Obama's tyranny.


Also, let's not forget Canada. We've been eyeing your amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties for many years now.
 
2013-10-14 11:21:22 AM

DarwiOdrade: Tom_Slick: I find it hilarious that the far left loonies and the far right loonies, both think the government is going to send them to FEMA camps.

Didn't read the article, huh?


No why would I? After Katrina George ush is sending us all to FEMA camps, this is not the first time I've heard Obama is sending us all to FEMA camps, I just figured it was the same idiot ramblings.
 
2013-10-14 11:23:45 AM

miss diminutive: Pocket Ninja: miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

Have you not heard at all about the secret instructions for an invading UN army that are printed on the backs of American road signs? There may only be 2 million American soldiers loyal to Obama (and the number is probably lower than that, because undoubtedly some soldiers will balk at being ordered to force their fellow citizens into internment camps; expect some brief intra-military combat, but most experts predict that such uprisings will be quickly quashed minus significant numbers of partisan assistance from armed citizens, a possibility that is far less likely than a few years ago due to Obama's efforts to seize guns and stockpile ammunition in the hands of DHS and other government agencies), but once the UN lands its troops, the blue helmet will become the defacto symbol of Obama's tyranny.

Also, let's not forget Canada. We've been eyeing your amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties for many years now.


Damn it, Ninja!

/I KNEW she spelled like a foreigner
//now you've given away the plans!
 
2013-10-14 11:25:20 AM
Jeeze, first Drew fills up the sidebar with ads like "Biblical Investing Truths" and "Use this Weird Trick to Get $1000 more in social security."

Now he fills up the headlines with ads like this.

When will the depravity end, Drew?
 
2013-10-14 11:26:21 AM
Not when Obama makes you use Ameros!  So you'd better buy now.
 
2013-10-14 11:27:09 AM

Tom_Slick: I find it hilarious that the far left loonies and the far right loonies, both think the government is going to send them to FEMA camps.


Never played Deus Ex, huh?
 
2013-10-14 11:27:28 AM
i.imgur.com

The true story of a teabagger who crawled through a river of shiat and still smelled like shiat on the other side.
 
2013-10-14 11:27:49 AM
Is the answer:

1.) Buy gold
2.) Buy guns
3.) Buy canned food

?
 
2013-10-14 11:28:08 AM
Fleecing the rubes is a long tradition for American conservatives, second only to fomenting paranoia.
 
2013-10-14 11:28:12 AM
 
2013-10-14 11:28:26 AM
This seems legit. I think I'll get two, just to be on the safe side.
 
2013-10-14 11:29:26 AM
h/t Tofu.
 
2013-10-14 11:30:02 AM
I remained convinced that the Right Wing Media Machine is just a scheme to part fools from their money.
 
2013-10-14 11:32:01 AM
What they don't tell you is that these products are actually produced and sold by the propaganda arm of the Homeland Security. The "secrets" are actually lies - not only will using them expose you, but the money will be used to fund the FEMA camps.
 
2013-10-14 11:34:25 AM

miss diminutive: How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?


Send me $37 and I will explain it all to you.
 
2013-10-14 11:34:43 AM
Such a bargain! I'll take 10!
 
2013-10-14 11:36:42 AM

TFerWannaBe: What they don't tell you is that these products are actually produced and sold by the propaganda arm of the Homeland Security. The "secrets" are actually lies - not only will using them expose you, but the money will be used to fund the FEMA camps.


For whatever reason you just reminded me of the glorious Fall out Shelter Plans from the 1950s

www.archives.gov
 
2013-10-14 11:36:48 AM
I do want to know 39 ways duct tape could save my life, though. You know, for the lulz.
 
2013-10-14 11:38:18 AM
I actually have an aunt that lives in fear daily that Obama's storm troopers are going to burst through her house at any moment and tattoo bar code identification on her and her 6 children.  This actually keeps her up at night, she's terrified.  She's surrounded by people who think just like her and they are all shiatting their pants, waiting for Obama to attack.  People this scared are like a trapped animal, they will do anything to stop the fear.  Anything.  Talking them down or trying to bring them back to reality is a lost cause, believe me, we've tried.
 
2013-10-14 11:40:13 AM

FarkedOver: Is the answer:

1.) Buy gold
2.) Buy guns
3.) Buy canned food

?


I own gold canned guns, so I'm good.
 
2013-10-14 11:40:22 AM

kieran57: Such a bargain! I'll take 10!


Oh  kieran57, you are finally becoming a crafty consumer!
 
2013-10-14 11:40:44 AM

Pocket Ninja: miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

Have you not heard at all about the secret instructions for an invading UN army that are printed on the backs of American road signs? There may only be 2 million American soldiers loyal to Obama (and the number is probably lower than that, because undoubtedly some soldiers will balk at being ordered to force their fellow citizens into internment camps; expect some brief intra-military combat, but most experts predict that such uprisings will be quickly quashed minus significant numbers of partisan assistance from armed citizens, a possibility that is far less likely than a few years ago due to Obama's efforts to seize guns and stockpile ammunition in the hands of DHS and other government agencies), but once the UN lands its troops, the blue helmet will become the defacto symbol of Obama's tyranny.


Oh by the road sign thingy. I used to make those things and the labels on the back aren't what the whackos think they are. Sigh, I got into a huge argument with folks over at abovetopsecret.com and was finally called a "government mis-information agent". Jesus H. Christ in a tea cup, mental illness plus the internet is a horrible mix.
 
2013-10-14 11:40:57 AM

miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

So many questions, yet so much derp.


There you go thinking again, you silly goose!
 
2013-10-14 11:41:06 AM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: miss diminutive: How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

Send me $37 and I will explain it all to you.


www.pinetreerelics.com

Sure thing, can you break a 100?
 
2013-10-14 11:42:03 AM
I wish I didn't have a conscience. Milking these rubes is like shooting fish in a barrel. I could be living the good life if I didn't mind going to the dark side to do it.
 
2013-10-14 11:42:05 AM

orclover: I actually have an aunt that lives in fear daily that Obama's storm troopers are going to burst through her house at any moment and tattoo bar code identification on her and her 6 children.  This actually keeps her up at night, she's terrified.  She's surrounded by people who think just like her and they are all shiatting their pants, waiting for Obama to attack.  People this scared are like a trapped animal, they will do anything to stop the fear.  Anything.  Talking them down or trying to bring them back to reality is a lost cause, believe me, we've tried.


You should purchase an Obama mask and take to standing on the sidewalk and staring at the house at odd hours of the night.

That's all. Just stand there. As soon as you know you've been seen, disappear quickly and quietly before they start shooting.
 
2013-10-14 11:42:32 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

So many questions, yet so much derp.

There you go thinking again, you silly goose!


I know, I should avoid it. I hear it gives you wrinkles.
 
2013-10-14 11:46:40 AM
I'm writing a computer virus that I'm going to stick on the Internet.

It's designed to infect the machines of users of the alt.government.conspiracy.paranoid newsgroup.

At a random date, their screens will go black, sputter for a second, then display the message "THEY ARE COMING."

Then the helicopter sound effects kick in...
 
2013-10-14 11:50:04 AM

miss diminutive: Pocket Ninja: miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

Have you not heard at all about the secret instructions for an invading UN army that are printed on the backs of American road signs? There may only be 2 million American soldiers loyal to Obama (and the number is probably lower than that, because undoubtedly some soldiers will balk at being ordered to force their fellow citizens into internment camps; expect some brief intra-military combat, but most experts predict that such uprisings will be quickly quashed minus significant numbers of partisan assistance from armed citizens, a possibility that is far less likely than a few years ago due to Obama's efforts to seize guns and stockpile ammunition in the hands of DHS and other government agencies), but once the UN lands its troops, the blue helmet will become the defacto symbol of Obama's tyranny.

Also, let's not forget Canada. We've been eyeing your amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties for many years now.


I SO want you guys to invade us. I'll be the one with the "Welcome Canadian Liberators!" sign.
 
2013-10-14 11:50:29 AM
Back in my day, freedom only cost $1.05.  Thanks, Obama.
 
2013-10-14 12:00:00 PM
This is as much an obvious scam as those "OBAMA AUTHORIZES HOUSE REFI PROGRAMS!" and "ELECTRIC COMPANIES HATE THIS!" spams.
 
2013-10-14 12:04:12 PM

Arkanaut: Back in my day, freedom only cost $1.05.  Thanks, Obama.


www.bbspot.com
 
2013-10-14 12:13:14 PM
This way to the the egress.  Five cents.
 
2013-10-14 12:17:57 PM
Uh... Question? Can we bring our own body bags, or do we have to use those crummy FEMA ones?
 
2013-10-14 12:28:40 PM

Needlessly Complicated: I do want to know 39 ways duct tape could save my life, though. You know, for the lulz.


I did too. Doing a search brought the pdf of the book right up.
 
2013-10-14 12:28:44 PM

elchip: I'm writing a computer virus that I'm going to stick on the Internet.

It's designed to infect the machines of users of the alt.government.conspiracy.paranoid newsgroup.

At a random date, their screens will go black, sputter for a second, then display the message "THEY ARE COMING."

Then the helicopter sound effects kick in...


I love it.
 
2013-10-14 12:32:42 PM
Learn how to avoid ripoffs. Send $5 to...
 
2013-10-14 12:34:41 PM
"39 Ways Duct Tape Can Save Your Life," normally a  $27.00 value, can be yours for FREE, but only if you call today!

Or you could, you know, download the PDF for free from the Patriot Survival Plan website.

/1. Repair or create clothing
//2. Affix bandages to wounds
///39. SURVIVE IN SPACE
 
2013-10-14 12:38:47 PM

Bareefer Obonghit: "The default will be armageddon," is brought to you by the the party that gave you such hits as, "The default isn't a big deal," and, "President Obama is ineffectual as a leader but will definitely complete his plan to take over the world," as well as, "Obama is a Muslim. A godless, marxist, atheist Muslim." Order now.


Done in one.

TofuTheAlmighty: Fleecing the rubes is a long tradition for American conservatives, second only to fomenting paranoia.


Dusk-You-n-Me: Still relevant.

The Long Con
Mail-order conservatism


Or not.
 
2013-10-14 12:41:11 PM
I heard Rafael Cruz has made a deal with Canada's Prime Minister(R-servant) to move teahadists to the Arctic, to make a instant food source for the polar bears and Natives.

/Those that survive get shipped to Qeebec, to be converted to speaking Frenchmen(the Women will get reassignment surgery).
 
2013-10-14 12:51:31 PM

Katolu: Pocket Ninja: miss diminutive: Where do these people think the government is going to get the manpower to hoard large segments of the population into these camps? Will the armed forces follow orders and herd their neighbours, friends and family members into them? How will a force of just over 2 million (assuming they bring back every troop overseas) control and intimidate a country of over 300 million?

Have you not heard at all about the secret instructions for an invading UN army that are printed on the backs of American road signs? There may only be 2 million American soldiers loyal to Obama (and the number is probably lower than that, because undoubtedly some soldiers will balk at being ordered to force their fellow citizens into internment camps; expect some brief intra-military combat, but most experts predict that such uprisings will be quickly quashed minus significant numbers of partisan assistance from armed citizens, a possibility that is far less likely than a few years ago due to Obama's efforts to seize guns and stockpile ammunition in the hands of DHS and other government agencies), but once the UN lands its troops, the blue helmet will become the defacto symbol of Obama's tyranny.

Oh by the road sign thingy. I used to make those things and the labels on the back aren't what the whackos think they are. Sigh, I got into a huge argument with folks over at abovetopsecret.com and was finally called a "government mis-information agent". Jesus H. Christ in a tea cup, mental illness plus the internet is a horrible mix.


Ive never heard of secret instructions on the back of road signs. Whats really on the back?
 
2013-10-14 01:01:31 PM

joepainter: Ive never heard of secret instructions on the back of road signs. Whats really on the back?


Send me $37 and I will tell you.
 
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