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(Sun Sentinel)   Woman, 70, meets with 'hitman' at Home Depot for help with gardening project -- wanted her daughter-in-law permanently potted six-feet under   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 49
    More: Florida, gardening project, mother-in-law, Diana Reaves Costarakis, Jacksonville Sheriff's Office  
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6426 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2013 at 11:23 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-14 11:28:10 AM
Funny. It's usually the other way around.

Nicely worded subby.
 
2013-10-14 11:28:26 AM
Bet this will be a Thanksgiving to remember for the clan
 
2013-10-14 11:29:04 AM
Good one, Subby.
 
2013-10-14 11:30:40 AM
So much for the "Do it yourself" store.
 
2013-10-14 11:35:15 AM
"More saving, more prison."
 
2013-10-14 11:37:11 AM
Why do I get the feeling the old lady googled "hitman"?

So much bitterness.
 
2013-10-14 11:40:28 AM
The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.
 
2013-10-14 11:44:04 AM

itsaidwhat: Nicely worded subby.


kdawg7736: Good one, Subby.


praise misplaced, unless subby wrote the farking article.

which, maybe, since it's from:  FloriDUH
 
2013-10-14 11:48:13 AM
Eh, as a father in law, I say lets find out how much DIL really sucked.
 
2013-10-14 11:48:29 AM
M is for the murders that she paid for.
O is for....
 
2013-10-14 11:49:30 AM

Resident Muslim: Why do I get the feeling the old lady googled "hitman"?

So much bitterness.


From what I gather these things usually go down with someone who obviously has no idea how to find a hitman goes to someone they view as low in society, like an unemployed blue collar guy in a bar on a weekday, to put them in touch with someone of low morals or high desperation to do it. That guy immediately calls the cops who then go undercover to catch the person requesting the hit.
 
2013-10-14 11:53:24 AM

itsaidwhat: Funny. It's usually the other way around.

Nicely worded subby.


agreed......'til i read the article.  subby stole the headline from the first sentence of the article.

/bad subby
 
2013-10-14 11:56:02 AM
Looks like she's still plotting something.
 
2013-10-14 11:56:34 AM
Trabajo? Trabajo?
 
2013-10-14 12:01:25 PM
I'm thinking of posing as a hitman and just letting the bucks roll in. It's not like the people that I rip off will kill me, they've already shown they need a hitman.
 
2013-10-14 12:01:44 PM
I do not know how to hire a hitman. But I do know from several stories like this, they are not easily found on the Internet
 
2013-10-14 12:04:00 PM
That's "hitPERSON", you sexist fark...
 
2013-10-14 12:07:20 PM
Like this guy is going to hang out at Home Depot.

images.wikia.com
 
2013-10-14 12:08:31 PM
This woman forgot the golden rule:

Unless you are a mobster or a drug kingpin, EVERYONE whom you might try to recruit as a hitman is an undercover cop.
 
2013-10-14 12:09:10 PM
Grandma don't play. She will straight up take you out!
 
2013-10-14 12:14:32 PM

Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.


Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.


Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.

Really, this cannot be repeated too many times.
 
2013-10-14 12:14:55 PM
"told you your mother doesn't like me"
 
2013-10-14 12:15:21 PM
Why do these stings always seem to happen at Home Depot?
 
2013-10-14 12:21:20 PM
I'm guessing that Thanksgiving is going to be awkward.
 
2013-10-14 12:31:15 PM
I get my gardening needs met at WOJO's, and they haven't caught me yet.
 
2013-10-14 12:46:30 PM

itsaidwhat: Funny. It's usually the other way around.

Nicely worded subby.


Why does Subby get credit for wording that was in the very beginning of the article?
 
2013-10-14 12:53:46 PM
someday home depot is going to be hit with a RICO lawsuit... they seem to be involved with 50% of all murders and attempted murders
 
2013-10-14 12:58:22 PM
She was just looking for the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
 
2013-10-14 01:08:00 PM

The Muthaship: Why do these stings always seem to happen at Home Depot?


Because Lowes is waaaay more classy
 
2013-10-14 01:18:21 PM
"Why the Garden section?"

"Because it's seedy"

/da-dum, tsch
 
2013-10-14 01:28:32 PM
wewatchwrestling.com
 
2013-10-14 01:40:41 PM
My mother-in-law created a fake Facebook account posing as her sister then messaged my husband and told him that she (fake sister account) had seen me galavanting with another man and her sister (actual mother in law) was considering suicide because of the shame I'd brought to her son.

/WAT
 
2013-10-14 01:43:11 PM

louiedog: Resident Muslim: Why do I get the feeling the old lady googled "hitman"?

So much bitterness.

From what I gather these things usually go down with someone who obviously has no idea how to find a hitman goes to someone they view as low in society, like an unemployed blue collar guy in a bar on a weekday, to put them in touch with someone of low morals or high desperation to do it. That guy immediately calls the cops who then go undercover to catch the person requesting the hit.


Makes as much sense.
 
2013-10-14 01:46:42 PM
Boy, that's gonna make the holidays pretty awkward.
 
2013-10-14 01:48:35 PM

shabu: Eh, as a father in law, I say lets find out how much DIL really sucked.


Right, because women are famously laid back and easygoing about the women who marry their sons. And they are especially well-known for mellowing out as they get older.
 
2013-10-14 01:56:53 PM
Wow you can hire a day loborer to do anything! And probably cheaper than an american hitman too.
 
2013-10-14 02:01:48 PM
sounds like my mother-in-law . . .
 
2013-10-14 02:33:41 PM

HotWingConspiracy: I'm thinking of posing as a hitman and just letting the bucks roll in. It's not like the people that I rip off will kill me, they've already shown they need a hitman.


Yes but then they will hire another hitman to take you out. But what if that hitman is playing the same game you are? High fives all around!
 
2013-10-14 02:40:15 PM

Anne.Uumellmahaye: My mother-in-law created a fake Facebook account posing as her sister then messaged my husband and told him that she (fake sister account) had seen me galavanting with another man and her sister (actual mother in law) was considering suicide because of the shame I'd brought to her son.

/WAT


damn! thanksgiving dinner must be fun!
 
2013-10-14 02:45:28 PM
This is the bitter lady equivalent of the creepy old guy trying to find underage girls on the internet.

I'm starting to think everyone over 60 has no idea how the internet works. And by works I mean things like 'the hitman is always an undecover cop' and 'that 13 yo hottie you're chatting with is always a cop'.

I should start doing classes at the senior center.
/Would be worth it to meet some hot GILFs
 
2013-10-14 02:49:40 PM

Anne.Uumellmahaye: My mother-in-law created a fake Facebook account posing as her sister then messaged my husband and told him that she (fake sister account) had seen me galavanting with another man and her sister (actual mother in law) was considering suicide because of the shame I'd brought to her son.

/WAT


I don't know if I'm repulsed by your mother-in-law or in love with her.
 
2013-10-14 03:05:40 PM

Crewmannumber6: Anne.Uumellmahaye: My mother-in-law created a fake Facebook account posing as her sister then messaged my husband and told him that she (fake sister account) had seen me galavanting with another man and her sister (actual mother in law) was considering suicide because of the shame I'd brought to her son.

/WAT

I don't know if I'm repulsed by your mother-in-law or in love with her.


Right? We could totally be bffs if I wasn't her arch nemesis in her schizophrenia-fueled nightmare of a life.

Then again, if she wasn't certifiable, she wouldn't be as fun...

/dilemma
 
2013-10-14 03:31:28 PM

illannoyin: This is the bitter lady equivalent of the creepy old guy trying to find underage girls on the internet.

I'm starting to think everyone over 60 has no idea how the internet works. And by works I mean things like 'the hitman is always an undecover cop' and 'that 13 yo hottie you're chatting with is always a cop'.

I should start doing classes at the senior center.
/Would be worth it to meet some hot GILFs


you ever notice that X is always a cop.  how many farking cops are there?
 
2013-10-14 03:48:57 PM

pute kisses like a man: how many farking cops are there?


all of them
 
2013-10-14 04:16:10 PM

Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.


Why don't people realize this yet? There are no free-lance "hit men" out there willing to contract with strangers for murder just as there are no 13-year-old girls just dying to have sex with 50-year-old men. They don't exist! No matter how great your "need" is for either one (or both!), give it up because otherwise you *will* be arrested.
 
2013-10-14 07:48:28 PM

Cybernetic: Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.

Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.

Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.
Really, this cannot be repeated too many times.


It's like the lottery. Only stoopid need apply.
 
2013-10-15 05:34:47 PM

silvervial: Crewmannumber6: The hit man is ALWAYS a cop.

Why don't people realize this yet? There are no free-lance "hit men" out there willing to contract with strangers for murder just as there are no 13-year-old girls just dying to have sex with 50-year-old men. They don't exist! No matter how great your "need" is for either one (or both!), give it up because otherwise you *will* be arrested.


THIS...EXACTLY!!!
 
2013-10-15 06:09:10 PM

silvervial: There are no free-lance "hit men" out there willing to contract with strangers for murder just as there are no 13-year-old girls just dying to have sex with 50-year-old men.


This documentary says you're wrong:
 
2013-10-15 06:11:29 PM
momofuko! (what's the Preview button for again?)

i41.tinypic.com
 
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