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(Sydney Morning Herald)   Guy cast as Christian Grey actually gets around to reading the book   (smh.com.au) divider line 38
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4203 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Oct 2013 at 8:35 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-14 04:29:11 AM
HAH! Good one subby
 
2013-10-14 08:40:07 AM
Probably for the best as the guy doesn't have much range. He'd probably only be believable at about a half-dozen shades.
 
2013-10-14 08:41:29 AM
By the time this thing gets made, fat women will be on to the next golden shower fantasy novel.
 
2013-10-14 08:46:40 AM
"schedule which is not allowing him time to adequately prepare for the role of Christian Grey," Universal Pictures said in a statement. "

i.imgur.com

It's crossover time.  Save on the CGI. Etc.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-14 08:49:32 AM
I wonder how much truth there is to that headline, subby.

I mean.  Yes it was a "blockbuster" of sorts...but I'm sure he was getting a lot of grief from his peers about the actual quality of writing that pile of garbage really is, and realized "This is not another American Psycho-Christian Bale thing", and that it could probably kill his career.

Still, smart decision on his part.
 
2013-10-14 08:55:51 AM
One of the articles I read on his casting said he was familiar with the book because his wife read it.

That said, my theory is that the fandom was already going batshiat crazy on him (like aggressively sending him a barrage of S&M fantasy stuff) and he didn't know that was going to happen, and he got nervous about it (understandably), or he started getting wind of how Pattinson openly mocked Twilight, looked at his post-Twilight career and started making alternate plans.

Either way, I don't blame him.
 
2013-10-14 08:59:38 AM
that book is like 3rd grade reading level.
 
mhd
2013-10-14 09:06:50 AM
Alternative actors:

Candidate #1

Candidate #2
 
2013-10-14 09:10:59 AM
Bro, have you read this bro? Girls love it bro. Read it bro.

/Ape walks away
 
2013-10-14 09:16:27 AM

BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.


What do you expect from a series that started off as a Twilight fanfic. No. I am not kidding. It started off as Twilight fanfiction.
 
2013-10-14 09:21:30 AM

mekki: BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.

What do you expect from a series that started off as a Twilight fanfic. No. I am not kidding. It started off as Twilight fanfiction.


When I first heard this, I looked it up, thinking it was a rumor.  NOPE.
 
2013-10-14 09:41:02 AM

BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.


I know what you mean, but please consider a different choice of words.  I really don't want to think of 3rd graders basically reading stuff like this:

By now, my oyster ditch was sliming like a rabid dog. After having my south mouth slammed, he then proceeded to raid my Mavis Fritter. The unrelenting orgasms from his cheese-crusted cock farking my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. I can't wait to lap the magician's wax from his meaty member. My shamevelope was trembling like jelly.
 
2013-10-14 09:47:49 AM

dragonchild: BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.

I know what you mean, but please consider a different choice of words.  I really don't want to think of 3rd graders basically reading stuff like this:

By now, my oyster ditch was sliming like a rabid dog. After having my south mouth slammed, he then proceeded to raid my Mavis Fritter. The unrelenting orgasms from his cheese-crusted cock farking my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. I can't wait to lap the magician's wax from his meaty member. My shamevelope was trembling like jelly.


Shamevelope is now my new favorite word for oyster ditch.
 
2013-10-14 09:51:40 AM

dragonchild: BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.

I know what you mean, but please consider a different choice of words.  I really don't want to think of 3rd graders basically reading stuff like this:

By now, my oyster ditch was sliming like a rabid dog. After having my south mouth slammed, he then proceeded to raid my Mavis Fritter. The unrelenting orgasms from his cheese-crusted cock farking my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. I can't wait to lap the magician's wax from his meaty member. My shamevelope was trembling like jelly.


...aaaaaaaand welcome to the favourites list.
 
mhd
2013-10-14 09:56:14 AM
"Shamevelope" is the name of my new shoegazing band...
 
2013-10-14 10:07:33 AM

The_Six_Fingered_Man: Shamevelope is now my new favorite word for oyster ditch.


My vote is for "unlocked shipping container."
 
2013-10-14 10:19:49 AM

dragonchild: BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.

I know what you mean, but please consider a different choice of words.  I really don't want to think of 3rd graders basically reading stuff like this:

By now, my oyster ditch was sliming like a rabid dog. After having my south mouth slammed, he then proceeded to raid my Mavis Fritter. The unrelenting orgasms from his cheese-crusted cock farking my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. I can't wait to lap the magician's wax from his meaty member. My shamevelope was trembling like jelly.


The 50 shades word generator is one of the internet's best things.

Also, I hope this movie is rated PG-13, just so it can be terrible and boring.
 
2013-10-14 10:58:13 AM

Detinwolf: dragonchild: BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.

I know what you mean, but please consider a different choice of words.  I really don't want to think of 3rd graders basically reading stuff like this:

By now, my oyster ditch was sliming like a rabid dog. After having my south mouth slammed, he then proceeded to raid my Mavis Fritter. The unrelenting orgasms from his cheese-crusted cock farking my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. I can't wait to lap the magician's wax from his meaty member. My shamevelope was trembling like jelly.

The 50 shades word generator is one of the internet's best things.

Also, I hope this movie is rated PG-13, just so it can be terrible and boring.


Dammit. It feels like I just got Santa spoiled for me.

/ I'll keep you on my faves list, dragonchild
// south mouth
 
2013-10-14 11:00:23 AM

Detinwolf: Also, I hope this movie is rated PG-13, just so it can be terrible and boring.


I hope for much the same, only so that the inevitable porn parody version will outsell the "real" version.

On the other hand, anything that gets more ladies interested in sampling the kinkier things in life is good in my book.
 
2013-10-14 11:01:48 AM

BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.


So is Stephen King. Seems to be a trend in bestsellers. Make it too smart or complicated and you lose a lot of people.
 
2013-10-14 11:16:07 AM

Six_By_Nine: or he started getting wind of how Pattinson openly mocked Twilight, looked at his post-Twilight career and started making alternate plans.


Pattinson probably sat him down and laid out exactly what he was in for and how much he'd end up hating his life if he took the role.
 
2013-10-14 11:16:42 AM

aendeuryu: Dammit. It feels like I just got Santa spoiled for me.


No worries; I think you were caught off guard by a Farker actually including a source link for bad erotica.
 
2013-10-14 11:29:25 AM

dragonchild: aendeuryu: Dammit. It feels like I just got Santa spoiled for me.

No worries; I think you were caught off guard by a Farker actually including a source link for bad erotica.


Eh... It's been a long day. I skipped straight to the funny,
 
2013-10-14 12:09:50 PM

rynthetyn: Six_By_Nine: or he started getting wind of how Pattinson openly mocked Twilight, looked at his post-Twilight career and started making alternate plans.

Pattinson probably sat him down and laid out exactly what he was in for and how much he'd end up hating his life if he took the role.


Yeah, one way or another, there was some serious batshiat that Hunnam was exposed to and was all "fark this noise".
 
2013-10-14 12:15:46 PM
To be fair, admitting that your wife has read this book all the way through means admitting you're not doing enough in bed.
 
2013-10-14 12:27:44 PM
Thread fails without pics.  Shirtless pics.
 
2013-10-14 01:38:16 PM
Robert Patterson probably called him and told him "Dude, what are you doing!? It's not worth it!"
 
2013-10-14 03:17:57 PM
Good move by Hunnam.  I think he's got decent acting chops and could have a nice career if he takes the right work.
 
2013-10-14 03:55:41 PM
FTFA: "Dakota Johnson remains in the co-starring role of Anastasia Steele."

I've known about the Twilight fanfic thing for awhile now, and have been told the reading level is middle school at best, but Anastasia Steele? Really? That just sounds like a rather juvenile choice of character name, like a 3rd-grade boy naming a character in a story something like "Rex Awesome"
 
2013-10-14 04:46:34 PM
Six_By_Nine: One of the articles I read on his casting said he was familiar with the book because his wife read it.

That said, my theory is that the fandom was already going batshiat crazy on him (like aggressively sending him a barrage of S&M fantasy stuff) and he didn't know that was going to happen, and he got nervous about it (understandably), or he started getting wind of how Pattinson openly mocked Twilight, looked at his post-Twilight career and started making alternate plans.

Either way, I don't blame him.


Kinda makes me apprehensive for the actor that does decides to take this role as it is the kind of part that would attract batshiat crazy.
 
2013-10-14 04:59:48 PM
For anyone who wants the "experience" of reading this book combined with some great commentary, may I recommend Jenny Reads 50 Shades of Grey?

RedPhoenix122: mekki: BalugaJoe: that book is like 3rd grade reading level.

What do you expect from a series that started off as a Twilight fanfic. No. I am not kidding. It started off as Twilight fanfiction.

When I first heard this, I looked it up, thinking it was a rumor.  NOPE.


Completely true - it's basically fanfiction with the names changed.
 
2013-10-14 06:07:31 PM
dragonchild:

By now, my oyster ditch was sliming like a rabid dog. After having my south mouth slammed, he then proceeded to raid my Mavis Fritter. The unrelenting orgasms from his cheese-crusted cock farking my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. I can't wait to lap the magician's wax from his meaty member. My shamevelope was trembling like jelly.

Still giggling. Thank you for this.
 
2013-10-14 06:20:39 PM
The mixture of footlong fudge bullet and creamy load in my other vagina created the delicious rectal stew that he was so fond of. I can't wait to chow down on the cock snot from his disco stick. He munched on my piss flaps, even though I'd had the painters in for the best part of a week. The feeling of his creamy load foaming down my throat got my vertical moisture flowing quicker than greased shiat off a shiny shovel. The seemingly never-ending streams of creamy load emanating from his chubstep soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio.

My shamevelope was trembling like a tasered slab of chopped liver.

It was bliss having his one-eyed monster shoved inside me again; stuffing my cod canyon with a barbie doll just didn't get my split peach surging like it used to. Hours of plowing like this would leave any girl's vertical garden looking like a rabid baboon's arse, and I was no different! He munched on my velcro triangle, even though I'd been surfing the crimson tide for the best part of a week. With my meaty hangers now much like a shot cat, he thought it was time to start probing my vintage golf bag. Is now the time to tell him I really need to ease a stink pickle, I wondered? He crowned a giant corn-eyed butt snake on my rack just so he could devour it up like a pig at a trough.


...
My God, this generator is terrible. It's almost a shame I won't be able to use any of it in my NaNo novel.
 
2013-10-14 08:09:51 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

"I really need to ease a stink pickle."
 
2013-10-14 09:30:10 PM

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: FTFA: "Dakota Johnson remains in the co-starring role of Anastasia Steele."

I've known about the Twilight fanfic thing for awhile now, and have been told the reading level is middle school at best, but Anastasia Steele? Really? That just sounds like a rather juvenile choice of character name, like a 3rd-grade boy naming a character in a story something like "Rex Awesome"


The super-biatchin' dude I created was named Flynn Sinclair. Looked like Kyle Reese after he stole the bum's coat and shoes, but with actual clothes under it, and cinched/rolled pants cuffs. He traveled the world, throwing li'l razor knives like Longshot, lol.
 
2013-10-14 11:29:15 PM
CSB - My book club decided to slog through the trilogy, thinking it would be a hoot - and we were curious what all the fuss was about.  Oh, dear God - it's truly awful - kinda like the literary equivalent of 'Showgirls' in the 'so-bad-its-good' genre.  Women who read the 'Flowers in the Attic' trilogy in middle school in the 80's - it's that...except about poorly-referenced bondage.  But it's a great trashy read.

Glad Hunman took a pass - We were on the second book when the news of his casting came out, and I hung my head in shame for him, thinking - not even his overwhelming pretty will make up for the drivel that will have to come out of his mouth on this.

\Seriously just unfathomably bad writing.
\\but get some chicks drunk and have them read paragraphs from it, and it's comedy gold!
 
2013-10-15 02:43:47 AM
Let us stop and reflect on the fact that Charlie Hunnam got famous playing a 15 year old who was sleeping with a guy who was almost 30 (the one thing that seriously squicks me out about Queer as Folk), and yet he backed out of the 50 Shades role. Graphic gay sex scenes when your character is supposed to be 15 and actors were still worried about playing gay hurting their careers? All good. Starring in the 50 Shades of Grey movie? Quickly change your mind and run away.

I think that says something about the awfulness of this.
 
2013-10-15 05:47:55 PM

BeatrixK: CSB - My book club decided to slog through the trilogy, thinking it would be a hoot - and we were curious what all the fuss was about.  Oh, dear God - it's truly awful - kinda like the literary equivalent of 'Showgirls' in the 'so-bad-its-good' genre.  Women who read the 'Flowers in the Attic' trilogy in middle school in the 80's - it's that...except about poorly-referenced bondage.  But it's a great trashy read.

Glad Hunman took a pass - We were on the second book when the news of his casting came out, and I hung my head in shame for him, thinking - not even his overwhelming pretty will make up for the drivel that will have to come out of his mouth on this.

\Seriously just unfathomably bad writing.
\\but get some chicks drunk and have them read paragraphs from it, and it's comedy gold!


Would the trilogy make for a good party game, similar to "Eye of Argon"?  That is, each person reads aloud for as long as possible without breaking out into maniacal laughter, and the one who goes the longest wins?
 
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