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(Daily Star)   Scientists claim eating chocolate can boost a man's bedroom performances for up to six hours. Oh, Henry   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 68
    More: Spiffy, British Library, Casanova, clinical research, chocolates  
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4700 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Oct 2013 at 11:38 AM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-13 08:46:56 AM
Increased duration doesn't always equal enhanced satisfaction.

See: roller coasters

Also: Scientists in Belgium worked for seven years to prove their theory.

Belgians discovering positive benefits to chocolate? Colour me surprised.

/still love chocolate
 
2013-10-13 08:52:57 AM
Isn't Daily Star a tabloid?
 
2013-10-13 11:13:55 AM
So that guy snarfing snickers bars down like air to live would be a great lover if he could get his dick out from under his fat folds?
 
2013-10-13 11:40:23 AM
I thought the title said "clam eating chocolate". Where are my glasses? lol
 
2013-10-13 11:41:56 AM
Snickers at subbys headline!
 
2013-10-13 11:43:56 AM
I got your creamy nougat right here.
 
2013-10-13 11:44:57 AM
While I'm eating a Kit-Kat I like to use my Butterfingers before she steps into a Slim Jim.

Wait, ignore that last one.
 
2013-10-13 11:47:11 AM
Science shows having this improves your chances of getting her to the bedroom!!!

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-10-13 11:49:24 AM
At my age, a bedroom performance means the longest fart/snore combination.
 
2013-10-13 11:52:33 AM
Be careful you don't wind up with a bunch of Baby Ruth's.
 
2013-10-13 11:53:17 AM
Chocolate penis .. isn't that a pron website?
 
2013-10-13 11:53:33 AM
Of course, whenever subby whips it out, the women inexplicably start taking about this candy bar:

img.fark.net

What gives?
 
2013-10-13 11:54:14 AM
Whatever it takes to get my Whatchamacallit in her Kit Kat
 
2013-10-13 11:55:09 AM
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
 
2013-10-13 11:57:34 AM

Mangoose: So that guy snarfing snickers bars down like air to live would be a great lover if he could get his dick out from under his fat folds?


Actually a snickers bar isn't TOO bad, comparatively.  Too much sugar, but not a bad snack at all.
 
2013-10-13 11:58:01 AM
Unfortunately the candy bars of my youth

www.oldtimecandy.com

...are long gone.
 
2013-10-13 11:58:56 AM

Valiente: Sometimes you feel like a nut.


Jammed your Almond Joy all over her Mounds?
 
2013-10-13 11:59:23 AM
A discussion of candy bars and sex? I guess I'd better leave this here...

userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-10-13 12:01:56 PM
Just like oysters, spanish fly, enzyte or anything else that is claimed to increase performance, size or enjoyment... it's snake oil.

Chocolate's been a thing for a long time now. I'm sure if it was some sort of magic fark drug, we'd have heard about it long before the internet was around to tell us. Same with pills that claim to "add inches". You really think that if some company had discovered a formula that grows enormous dongs that it'd be advertised via porn sites and spam emails? Seriously, Pfizer would've jumped on that patent long ago.
 
2013-10-13 12:02:55 PM
I have a crappy sense of humor, but this headline made me lol'd.
 
2013-10-13 12:18:07 PM
s22.postimg.org

When you're this big..
 
2013-10-13 12:20:49 PM
All I can think of is Tim Minchin eating a snickers bar out of some girls snatch.
 
2013-10-13 12:20:58 PM
I'll date a girl with big Mounds, but don't like it when they're Chunky
 
2013-10-13 12:21:20 PM
A chocolate company presented their findings that chocolate makes you better in bed?

I'm speechless.  I'll still eat chocolate, though.
 
2013-10-13 12:24:06 PM
How good for frat boys who think MOAR FARKING AND HARDER equals better sex.
 
2013-10-13 12:25:19 PM
Blue Chocolate???
www.candywarehouse.com
 
2013-10-13 12:26:16 PM
Black chicks is sexy
 
2013-10-13 12:27:40 PM
Every so often I like to drop a Baby Ruth onto my wife's chest.

/all part of the foreplay.
 
2013-10-13 12:29:31 PM

miss diminutive: Increased duration doesn't always equal enhanced satisfaction.

See: roller coasters


I always get a kick out of guys who brag about going "all night long". Who the hell want's to have sex like that? Foreplay aside, 30 minutes of straight intercourse is more than enough, if the guy hasn't finished by then it's too bad because I'm shoving him off me.
 
2013-10-13 12:30:49 PM
Chocolate enhances sexual endurance?  I'll stick with cocaine.
 
2013-10-13 12:32:54 PM
Meh can she survive after the 3 Muskateers?
 
2013-10-13 12:34:25 PM
"Chocolatiers ACTICOA presented their findings at the annual chocs industry conference held at the British Library after conducting years of clinical research at their factories in Belgium."

I'm sure they have nothing to gain from this "discovery".
 
2013-10-13 12:39:50 PM
Can smell this thread a mile away:

gamingshogun.com
 
2013-10-13 12:47:42 PM
"Not going anywhere for a while..?"
 
2013-10-13 12:51:10 PM
Whenever I need to last longer, I just pop a painkiller....get high on an Oxy for about 15-20 minutes, and about 30-1 hour later when you go into the bedroom, you can last hours.

When my wife gets me too worked up, some nights I last less than 5 minutes.  On Oxy I can last over an hour.  Sometimes I don't even come.  Drives my wife nuts but I love it.

/True side effect of painkillers, look it up.
//works with Vicodin and Percs too
 
2013-10-13 12:52:04 PM
For the ladies, eating chocolate within an hour or so after orgasm is like another half an orgasm. Enhances pleasure, tastes 10x better, and makes me want to roll around and purr like a kitten. Don't know why, just does.

/keep some Lindt in the bedside drawer
//and she'll keep coming back for more!
 
2013-10-13 12:53:02 PM
Forgot the third slashie, hopefully she'll keep coming back for your penis too, not just the chocolate.
 
2013-10-13 12:58:22 PM
You mean to say that chocolate, which has been considered an aphrodisiac since pre-Columbian times in Central America and Mexico, might actually be an aphrodisiac?

Hey, I guess the 16th Century clergy were right. It is an ungodly and sinful beverage.

Montezuma would drink an enormous quantity of chocolate every day.

It's good to be the king.--Montezuma

WARNING! WARNING! WHITE GUY RAPPING! (Mel Brooks, 12 inch extended version WOWZA!)

It's good to be the king.

Slightly USFW Version (Tom Petty)
It's good to be king.

But don't try this at home, kids. It's a royal prerogative.

If you drank as much chocolate as Montezuma, he'd have his revenge on you. That's why he was the king--he could pull shiat like that.

Several royal families in the New World (Inca) and the Old World (Egyptian) inbred for centuries without any harm, convincing their subjects that they truely must be gods. The Habsburgs weren't so lucky. They claim descent from the jawbone of the ass with which Samson killed the Philistines. Don't tell them I said that.

Silly scientists are always trying to prove things we already know. I thought of creating a website on that topic once, but I'm too lazy. Wait long enough, somebody else will write the books you have in you and you can whine about what a bad job he or she did.
 
2013-10-13 12:58:33 PM

Asphyxium: Chocolate enhances sexual endurance?  I'll stick with cocaine.




PNSW
 
2013-10-13 01:14:51 PM
www.collectingcandy.com
 
2013-10-13 01:22:27 PM
Forget all the chocolate bars what you need is 80% cocoa chocolate

img.fark.net

/Also lends you an air of sophistication with the ladyees
 
2013-10-13 01:26:01 PM
Always be sure there is no Red Vine between her legs first.
 
2013-10-13 01:40:08 PM
This thread needs answers.

29.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-13 01:50:08 PM

LissaDances: miss diminutive: Increased duration doesn't always equal enhanced satisfaction.

See: roller coasters

I always get a kick out of guys who brag about going "all night long". Who the hell want's to have sex like that? Foreplay aside, 30 minutes of straight intercourse is more than enough, if the guy hasn't finished by then it's too bad because I'm shoving him off me.


No kidding. Any "marathon" sessions I've had always left me chafed and sore the next day. Stamina and endurance are like penis size, too long and too short are problematic while that large Z-distribution bulge in the middle is the sweet spot.
 
2013-10-13 01:52:28 PM
static.someecards.com
 
2013-10-13 01:59:05 PM
Cocklate
 
2013-10-13 02:18:57 PM
To actually be 'chocolate' the cocoa powder has to be emulsified with cocoa butter.  The substitution of cocoa butter with any other fat i.e. palm oil, vegetable oil, etc. makes it 'chocolate flavored' and not subject to the claims made by ACTICOA.
I suspect this is the real point that they are trying to make, American chocolate is not real chocolate, and has no benefits.  So, buy Belgian chocolate and be a stud!
www.freedomsphoenix.com
 
2013-10-13 02:29:49 PM
I've got chocolate on my peanut butter.
 
2013-10-13 02:41:29 PM

Fade2black: Whenever I need to last longer, I just pop a painkiller....get high on an Oxy for about 15-20 minutes, and about 30-1 hour later when you go into the bedroom, you can last hours.

When my wife gets me too worked up, some nights I last less than 5 minutes.  On Oxy I can last over an hour.  Sometimes I don't even come.  Drives my wife nuts but I love it.

/True side effect of painkillers, look it up.
//works with Vicodin and Percs too


That's pretty edgy and hip and subversive and all that, but also pretty stupid.
You know that unexpected side effect of preventing orgasm?
There are other unintended side effects of prescription med use, like death.
So knock yourself out.
Darwin always wins.
 
2013-10-13 03:08:10 PM

LissaDances: miss diminutive: Increased duration doesn't always equal enhanced satisfaction.

See: roller coasters

I always get a kick out of guys who brag about going "all night long". Who the hell want's to have sex like that? Foreplay aside, 30 minutes of straight intercourse is more than enough, if the guy hasn't finished by then it's too bad because I'm shoving him off me.


Hi baby!

I thought you were outside in the yard. I didn't even see you get on the computer...
 
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