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(Some Guy)   If you want a general idea of how the US is seen by the rest of the world, this article might help. But it'll more likely just get people making stupid Austin Powers quotes   (dasmag.nl) divider line 222
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5931 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 Oct 2013 at 10:12 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-13 09:32:41 AM
Of course he's not coming back. He was denied entry and put on a list.

Also, after October 2013, I will never have group sex with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
 
2013-10-13 10:05:51 AM
This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."
 
2013-10-13 10:17:21 AM
FTA:"I answered it would keep me dry, in case the New Orleans levees would break again. "

Why in the everloving fark would you say that? Good riddance. Don't come back, asshole.
 
2013-10-13 10:17:49 AM
I'm sure it happened exactly like he said it did and he wasn't a douche bag or anything.
 
2013-10-13 10:19:34 AM
Well I know I often let one individual speak for 6.5+ billion people, so this article is right up my alley!
 
2013-10-13 10:22:01 AM

thamike: This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."


Why is he a douchebag?
 
2013-10-13 10:22:50 AM
Did they go through his douche bag along with his other luggage?
 
2013-10-13 10:23:32 AM
In other news, walking up to the TSA guy and saying 'which gate is the one I use to check my bombs' may not be as hilariously received as you might think.

I sympathize with this guy. I really do. God knows, my sense of humor gets me in trouble all the time. But even I know border guards are specifically chosen to be paranoid, small minded, humorless, and utterly lacking in imagination or cultural awareness. It is literally their job to be pathological about stuff like that.
 
2013-10-13 10:25:30 AM

andersoncouncil42: thamike: This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."

Why is he a douchebag?


You ever met anyone who constantly talk about a novel they are working on?
 
2013-10-13 10:26:54 AM
Does America even care what the rest of the world thinks of it?
 
2013-10-13 10:27:17 AM

andersoncouncil42: thamike: This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."

Why is he a douchebag?


For daring to visit parts of the world where Muslims live, obviously.  All muslims are terrorists, and only other terrorists would ever visit them.  What part of this is confusing you?
 
2013-10-13 10:27:51 AM

TFerWannaBe: FTA:"I answered it would keep me dry, in case the New Orleans levees would break again. "

Why in the everloving fark would you say that? Good riddance. Don't come back, asshole.


This.  Why in the fark would anyone get snarky with Border Patrol when they're already suspicious of you?  And to say that in particular and then act like he didn't say anything offensive just makes me think this person is an asshole of monumental proportions.
 
2013-10-13 10:28:48 AM
US customs people can be dicks and waiting in those awful lines is for suckers when there's a clear alternative (just don't all of you sign up and clog it up for me!):

thepointsguy.com
 
2013-10-13 10:29:05 AM

AlgertMan: andersoncouncil42: thamike: This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."

Why is he a douchebag?

You ever met anyone who constantly talk about a novel they are working on?


Eh true, but as an american I'm not very proud of giving foreigners experiences like that. Assuming it happened as he said of course.

.
 
2013-10-13 10:33:54 AM

CreativeFarkHandle: This.  Why in the fark would anyone get snarky with Border Patrol when they're already suspicious of you?  And to say that in particular and then act like he didn't say anything offensive just makes me think this person is an asshole of monumental proportions.


Some people get nervous when they're aggressively questioned multiple times over several hours by rude, ignorant half-wits.  In a foreign country filled with rampant paranoia.

He's from the Netherlands, not 1970 East Germany.
 
2013-10-13 10:36:22 AM
jakomo002:

He's from the Netherlands, not 1970 East Germany.

Funny, how we've become 70's East Germany. I imagine soon enough we won't be allowed to travel outside the country, either.
 
2013-10-13 10:37:24 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tealqxV0TtM">http://www.youtube.com/wa tch?v=tealqxV0TtM
 
2013-10-13 10:38:19 AM
This just in: Terrorists get fresh passports before traveling.

So do people with diplomatic passports...
 
2013-10-13 10:38:38 AM

He_Hate_Me: US customs people can be dicks and waiting in those awful lines is for suckers when there's a clear alternative (just don't all of you sign up and clog it up for me!):

[thepointsguy.com image 500x200]


You mean sign up and pay for the free status that we already had but was unconstitutionally legislated away?
 
2013-10-13 10:38:56 AM
TFerWannaBe: Why in the everloving fark would you say that? Good riddance. Don't come back, asshole.

A Farker annoyed that someone snarked someone else? That's rich.
 
2013-10-13 10:40:20 AM
He prefers to travel by train?  That's a red flag right there.
 
2013-10-13 10:40:22 AM
I'm not sure why all the assumptions of douchbaggery.

I've crossed the US border via train a few times (and am neither Canadian nor American), and the immigration officials are total and utter dicks. Much more unpleasant than the airport folks, probably because they live in the middle of nowhere and only have a dozen or so people a day to harass.

I was a tossup "off the train extended interview" candidate because I had a passport stamp for Fiji issued during the coup in 2000.

Yes, as a white European lying on a beach on a distant island on holiday, I was clearly a kingpin of a coup 1000 miles aways between two different  indigenous racial groups in Nadi.
 
2013-10-13 10:42:41 AM

bwilson27: Funny, how we've become 70's East Germany. I imagine soon enough we won't be allowed to travel outside the country, either.


Compared to the Netherlands' approach to something like this, it's apt.

Do you think Dutch customs isn't a tiny bit more friendly and understanding?  "What's a Jew doin' goin' to Yemen?"

He compares it to the other three worst customs experiences and it does seem the worst by far.
 
2013-10-13 10:44:28 AM

Bungles: I'm not sure why all the assumptions of douchbaggery.

I've crossed the US border via train a few times (and am neither Canadian nor American), and the immigration officials are total and utter dicks. Much more unpleasant than the airport folks, probably because they live in the middle of nowhere and only have a dozen or so people a day to harass.

I was a tossup "off the train extended interview" candidate because I had a passport stamp for Fiji issued during the coup in 2000.

Yes, as a white European lying on a beach on a distant island on holiday, I was clearly a kingpin of a coup 1000 miles aways between two different  indigenous racial groups in Nadi.


You sure do know alot about that.
 
2013-10-13 10:45:10 AM

bwilson27: Funny, how we've become 70's East Germany. I imagine soon enough we won't be allowed to travel outside the country, either.


I'm not any too anxious to try it.
 
2013-10-13 10:45:38 AM
The behavior of the border guards is indefensible.  The "he deserves it" mentality yet another reason why people are turned off of the idea of ever visiting the US.  We're (correctly) recognized as a country of paranoid, obnoxious, idiotic sociopaths with nothing to offer the rest of the world except contempt and nuclear winter.  If another country treated me like we treated this guy, I'd never return either.
 
2013-10-13 10:45:55 AM

AlgertMan: andersoncouncil42: thamike: This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."

Why is he a douchebag?

You ever met anyone who constantly talk about a novel they are working on?


Yeah, they're called "writers".
 
2013-10-13 10:46:30 AM

andersoncouncil42: thamike: This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."

Why is he a douchebag?


First:  An officer held up the coat and barked: 'Who takes a coat to the US in the summer?!' I answered it would keep me dry, in case the New Orleans levees would break again.

Second:  'I'm not scared. But it's kind of exciting. It's like I'm in a movie. You're just doing your job. I get that.'

Third:  'This is just like in the movies.'

Fourth:  I called my friends back in Amsterdam, asking if they could book me an place in Montreal. To punish me for my pride, they booked me a very Christian B&B.

There is no way that this guy isn't insufferable.
 
2013-10-13 10:47:00 AM
Thanks Obama
 
2013-10-13 10:47:18 AM
To everyone asking why the guy is a douchebag, you must have missed his response about wearing a coat in case the levees in New Orleans break again. That is quite possibly the dumbest response other than "oh what's in the suitcase? a bunch of bombs...lol, j/k" That kind of response immediately puts you on their radar as being a douchebag and they will not care how much time they spend to look through all your stuff just to inconvenience you. Also, I could maybe understand making a stupid joke and it being misinterpreted but but a coat wouldn't even help you if the levees flooded so it just seemed like a smart alec remark.
 
2013-10-13 10:47:28 AM

Bungles: I was a tossup "off the train extended interview" candidate because I had a passport stamp for Fiji issued during the coup in 2000.


Ha!  Me too, for a backpacking trip through Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos.  They asked me, straightfaced, if I was involved in any way politically in "Indochina" and I barely stifled a laugh.  (I was 20 when I took the trip.)
 
2013-10-13 10:47:34 AM
This douchelord sounds like Corky Doctorow.
 
2013-10-13 10:47:38 AM

Bungles: Yes, as a white European lying on a beach on a distant island on holiday, I was clearly a kingpin of a coup 1000 miles aways between two different indigenous racial groups in Nadi.


Although that would make for an awesome CSB.
 
2013-10-13 10:48:17 AM

BlippityBleep: He_Hate_Me: US customs people can be dicks and waiting in those awful lines is for suckers when there's a clear alternative (just don't all of you sign up and clog it up for me!):

[thepointsguy.com image 500x200]

You mean sign up and pay for the free status that we already had but was unconstitutionally legislated away?


Not sure you understand the program or the constitution, but regardless, if you have certain platinum-level credit cards, the $100 fee is paid by the credit card company, so you get 10 years for free.
 
2013-10-13 10:48:37 AM
Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal
 
2013-10-13 10:50:08 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: The behavior of the border guards is indefensible.  The "he deserves it" mentality yet another reason why people are turned off of the idea of ever visiting the US.  We're (correctly) recognized as a country of paranoid, obnoxious, idiotic sociopaths with nothing to offer the rest of the world except contempt and nuclear winter.  If another country treated me like we treated this guy, I'd never return either.


Of course the behavior of the border guards is indefensible. The idea that that somehow negates the possibility that this guy is quite obviously a preening dickhead is what's wrong with modern discourse.

Dear internet:

www.cockytalk.com
 
2013-10-13 10:50:26 AM

Jerseysteve22: Bungles: I'm not sure why all the assumptions of douchbaggery.

I've crossed the US border via train a few times (and am neither Canadian nor American), and the immigration officials are total and utter dicks. Much more unpleasant than the airport folks, probably because they live in the middle of nowhere and only have a dozen or so people a day to harass.

I was a tossup "off the train extended interview" candidate because I had a passport stamp for Fiji issued during the coup in 2000.

Yes, as a white European lying on a beach on a distant island on holiday, I was clearly a kingpin of a coup 1000 miles aways between two different  indigenous racial groups in Nadi.

You sure do know alot about that.



Crap, I forgot being aware of world events is Red Flag 101.

I was lucky not to had a hand chopped off.
 
2013-10-13 10:51:04 AM
At least everyone agrees that there's nothing wrong with our border security.
 
2013-10-13 10:51:41 AM

bwilson27: andersoncouncil42: thamike: This douchebag is hardly representative of the "rest of the world" as you put it, subby.  In fact, maybe you should look into why your worldview is comprised of "America" and "the rest of the world."

Why is he a douchebag?

For someone named Andersoncouncil, you sure are a right wing, imbecilic moron. Syd would frown on your shenanigans (maybe even pistol-whip you) How about changing to something that actually reflects your shiatty personality? May I suggest aynbirch42?


Well, that certainly explains why he's a 'douchebag'.
 
2013-10-13 10:52:28 AM

ActionJoe: To everyone asking why the guy is a douchebag, you must have missed his response about wearing a coat in case the levees in New Orleans break again. That is quite possibly the dumbest response other than "oh what's in the suitcase? a bunch of bombs...lol, j/k" That kind of response immediately puts you on their radar as being a douchebag and they will not care how much time they spend to look through all your stuff just to inconvenience you. Also, I could maybe understand making a stupid joke and it being misinterpreted but but a coat wouldn't even help you if the levees flooded so it just seemed like a smart alec remark.


What kind of a farktard question is, "Why would you bring a coat to America in the summer?"

"How's 'Fark you', that's why, you dipshiat train border guard?  Dafuq you think it's for?"
 
2013-10-13 10:52:37 AM

Rocket To Russia: Yeah, they're called "writers".


No, they're called "people who write."  Writers only discuss the novel they're working on with their agent and publisher, and even then, they're only talking about deadlines and advances until a full draft is finished.
 
2013-10-13 10:52:48 AM

ActionJoe: That kind of response immediately puts you on their radar as being a douchebag and they will not care how much time they spend to look through all your stuff just to inconvenience you.


And using your position as a border agent to harass, terrify, and turn away someone for committing the crime of making an off-color remark is exactly the kind of behavior that makes the author 100% justified in never wanting anything to do with the US again.  This is what happens when you put sweeping powers in the hands of high-school graduates (at best), and pump them full of fear of the outside world at a level that would make Kim Jong Un blush.
 
2013-10-13 10:55:32 AM

ActionJoe: To everyone asking why the guy is a douchebag, you must have missed his response about wearing a coat in case the levees in New Orleans break again. That is quite possibly the dumbest response other than "oh what's in the suitcase? a bunch of bombs...lol, j/k" That kind of response immediately puts you on their radar as being a douchebag and they will not care how much time they spend to look through all your stuff just to inconvenience you. Also, I could maybe understand making a stupid joke and it being misinterpreted but but a coat wouldn't even help you if the levees flooded so it just seemed like a smart alec remark.


Which they do out of spite, and not of any rational fear or assumption of threat, which was kind of the point of the article. Considering the "What's a Jew doing in Yemen" remarks later, it sounds like some high school educated, border agent moron had been watching too many episodes of Homeland in a row, and was taking it out on some Dutch guy for having the audacity to want to see the world.
 
2013-10-13 10:55:44 AM

Magruda: Anecdotal evidence is anecdotal


True, but it's not radically out-of-whack with a lot of non-Canadian/American people's experiences with the US land-border immigration people, so I don't see any real reason to be suspicious of his story.
 
2013-10-13 10:55:46 AM

Bungles: Yes, as a white European lying on a beach on a distant island on holiday, I was clearly a kingpin of a coup 1000 miles aways between two different indigenous racial groups in Nadi.


Ah ha!!!  The truth is out!!!

Seriously now, the border guards were being pricks.
 
2013-10-13 10:57:38 AM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: And using your position as a border agent to harass, terrify, and turn away someone for committing the crime of making an off-color remark is exactly the kind of behavior that makes the author 100% justified in never wanting anything to do with the US again.


I've been held at gunpoint in several border checkpoints and none of them were in the US.  My passport had stamps from Saudi Arabia, Dubai, Greece, Bahrain, and Serbia.  You know what the drooling cro-magnons in U.S. Customs say to me?   "Welcome home."
 
2013-10-13 10:58:24 AM

miss diminutive: Bungles: Yes, as a white European lying on a beach on a distant island on holiday, I was clearly a kingpin of a coup 1000 miles aways between two different indigenous racial groups in Nadi.

Although that would make for an awesome CSB.


i.imgur.com

I'm picturing this episode ending with an inadvertent violent coup.
 
2013-10-13 10:59:23 AM

thamike: LouDobbsAwaaaay: And using your position as a border agent to harass, terrify, and turn away someone for committing the crime of making an off-color remark is exactly the kind of behavior that makes the author 100% justified in never wanting anything to do with the US again.

I've been held at gunpoint in several border checkpoints and none of them were in the US.  My passport had stamps from Saudi Arabia, Dubai, Greece, Bahrain, and Serbia.  You know what the drooling cro-magnons in U.S. Customs say to me?   "Welcome home."


And?
 
2013-10-13 11:00:34 AM
"In the dining car sat a cheerful looking family from the Middle-East and a German man with a mouth in which a small frisbee could easily be inserted. I took the seat across the German, who had already filled in his green paper, and started on my own, dedicated, hoping to impress him. He was not throwing me friendly looks. "

Pretty sure this writer is a dick to everyone.

I'm also sure the Customs guys could tell right away the same way you can tell the douche at the party by his attitude.

No reason to turn him away though.
 
2013-10-13 11:00:51 AM

thamike: I've been held at gunpoint in several border checkpoints and none of them were in the US.  My passport had stamps from Saudi Arabia, Dubai, Greece, Bahrain, and Serbia.  You know what the drooling cro-magnons in U.S. Customs say to me?   "Welcome home."


Holy crap, man, do NOT take the train from Canada to the US.  Especially through the Northeast.  I am serious.
 
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