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(NBC News)   "So she's stuck on the bridge and she's going up. The next thing is, she's stuck, straddled like Jesus Christ"   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 37
    More: Florida, Dania Beach, Jesus Christ, breast cancer, Matt Little  
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9708 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Oct 2013 at 2:29 AM (26 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-13 12:04:07 AM
Sorry. "Straddling Madeline" is copyright secured by the people of Vermont.
 
2013-10-13 12:20:27 AM
Kinky.
 
2013-10-13 01:12:54 AM
Like when He straddled the dinosaur, probably.
 
2013-10-13 01:25:08 AM
"Straddled like Jesus Christ"?  Is that a thing?  Who straddled Jesus Christ?  Mary Magdalene?
 
2013-10-13 02:43:13 AM
I mean, you are 55 years old and you can't figure out something a 7-year-old would ken about 5 seconds once the bridge started moving, the once with all the No Trespassing signs on it?

Too bad cancer doesn't just take the stupid.
 
2013-10-13 02:43:16 AM

timujin: "Straddled like Jesus Christ"?  Is that a thing?  Who straddled Jesus Christ?  Mary Magdalene?


Judas
 
2013-10-13 02:47:57 AM

vudukungfu: Sorry. "Straddling Madeline" is copyright secured by the people of Vermont.


Is that anything like Waltzing Matilda?
 
2013-10-13 02:49:49 AM

Confabulat: I mean, you are 55 years old and you can't figure out something a 7-year-old would ken about 5 seconds once the bridge started moving, the once with all the No Trespassing signs on it?

Too bad cancer doesn't just take the stupid.

 
2013-10-13 02:56:20 AM
"If only there was something to lower the bridge."

"Cant a lever?"
 
2013-10-13 03:41:16 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: Confabulat: I mean, you are 55 years old and you can't figure out something a 7-year-old would ken about 5 seconds once the bridge started moving, the once with all the No Trespassing signs on it?

Too bad cancer doesn't just take the stupid.


I choose my words on purpose.
 
2013-10-13 03:58:23 AM
I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.
 
2013-10-13 04:03:02 AM
I voted against them fancy pants high speed bridges and y'all laughed at me.
 
2013-10-13 05:06:00 AM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.


The Bibble is much more enjoyable than the Bible.

I also enjoy the Korran, and the Book of Morrman.
 
2013-10-13 05:07:02 AM
...Not to be confused with the book of Morrmon btw.

/completetly different book
 
2013-10-13 05:20:00 AM

danielscissorhands: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.

The Bibble is much more enjoyable than the Bible.

I also enjoy the Korran, and the Book of Morrman.


The Bibble must be the one where Jesus is described doing all that straddling. I haven't read it, so I wouldn't know.

Remember, Jesus straddled for your sins
 
2013-10-13 05:24:56 AM

danielscissorhands: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.

The Bibble is much more enjoyable than the Bible.

I also enjoy the Korran, and the Book of Morrman.


And then there is also the Crayon, quite a colorful book. I also found the Book of Moron to be enlightening, but somewhat dull in places. Die Pathetics was truly sad, all those condescending celebrities seeking tax shelters.
 
2013-10-13 06:04:53 AM
"This bridge is controlled from Tallahassee. There's not a bridge minder here anymore," Glazebrook said.

So we're outsourcing bridge operation now?

"Hello, this is Radhavallabh, but you can call me Ron.  Alrighty, what's the problem?  Person...on the bridge...while it's up?  Okay, did you try raising and lowering the bridge to see if that fixes the problem?  Alright, I'll wait...."

"She fell off? Great! Then I'll go ahead and mark this ticket closed.  Thank you and call again!"
 
2013-10-13 06:11:37 AM
Obvious she's not a very bright woman.  Doesn't even know bras are worn inside the blouse
 
2013-10-13 06:27:27 AM
"To me that just helped in the fight for cancer"

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-13 06:39:25 AM

PainInTheASP: "This bridge is controlled from Tallahassee. There's not a bridge minder here anymore," Glazebrook said.

So we're outsourcing bridge operation now?


Thank you Rick Scott.
 
2013-10-13 07:21:48 AM

danielscissorhands: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.

The Bibble is much more enjoyable than the Bible.

I also enjoy the Korran, and the Book of Morrman.


Personally, I prefer the Book of Merman.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-13 08:14:56 AM
This Straddling Jesus story was never mentioned in Sunday School. Is this like the Civil/War/Between the States where Northern and Southern kids get different versions?
 
2013-10-13 08:45:17 AM
Jesus Christ Pose.
 
2013-10-13 08:45:18 AM
This appears to be the bridge she was caught on:

static.panoramio.com

Apparently walking the ~700ft to the next proper bridge was too much of a hassle.
=Smidge=
 
2013-10-13 09:31:02 AM
Sounds like a born again Woody Guthrie song
 
2013-10-13 09:43:51 AM
These bridge-straddlings are a growing problem. Something needs to be done to raise awareness of this before it becomes an epidemic.
 
2013-10-13 10:50:58 AM

Nidiot: danielscissorhands: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.

The Bibble is much more enjoyable than the Bible.

I also enjoy the Korran, and the Book of Morrman.

The Bibble must be the one where Jesus is described doing all that straddling. I haven't read it, so I wouldn't know.

Remember, Jesus straddled for your sins


The Bibble is the book where Herid kills all the babbies.
 
2013-10-13 10:58:01 AM

BolshyGreatYarblocks: Nidiot: danielscissorhands: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.

The Bibble is much more enjoyable than the Bible.

I also enjoy the Korran, and the Book of Morrman.

The Bibble must be the one where Jesus is described doing all that straddling. I haven't read it, so I wouldn't know.

Remember, Jesus straddled for your sins

The Bibble is the book where Herid kills all the babbies.


How is Tower of Babbel formed?
 
2013-10-13 10:59:10 AM
 
2013-10-13 11:02:49 AM
How is her survival of breast cancer relevant to her stupidity?  I've seen that bridge go up.  Besides the signs, there are a plethora of clanging bells, and even a deaf person would sense the rumbling of the machinery starting to move it.  She was rescued with a 24 foot ladder so she wasn't very far up.  Slunds like she needs a mental health examination.

But I like how the majority of the focus is all about her survival of breast cancer.  Good for her, and all that.  She's still retarded.

What if news stories had to relate everything to our medical condition?  "Frequent masturbator Rodeodoc had to be rescued..."
 
2013-10-13 11:30:13 AM
This woman and all her idiot friends and support team need to be shot.
The Newsbabe needs to get laid, she's much too enthusiastic.
 
2013-10-13 11:53:04 AM

Nick Nostril: Jesus Christ Pose.


I came for the Soungarden.
 
2013-10-13 12:05:15 PM

danielscissorhands: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I don't think there were any railroad bridges in the Bibble.

The Bibble is much more enjoyable than the Bible.


As long as you're using the true authorized version, the Ishka Bibble.
 
2013-10-13 01:49:12 PM
I loved how the camera zoomed in on a much higher point on the bridge than where she actually was.
 
2013-10-13 01:56:03 PM
I work in that area, and walk right past that bridge on a near-daily basis. You have to be a special kind of moron to think it's a good idea to walk across that bridge.
 
2013-10-13 06:29:21 PM

number8: I work in that area, and walk right past that bridge on a near-daily basis. You have to be a special kind of moron to think it's a good idea to walk across that bridge.


Darwin was trying to take care of the problem, but the police got involved.
 
2013-10-13 10:41:23 PM
Serge Storms wanted for questioning
  -Nothing is obscure here right?
 
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