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(The New York Times)   As if airlines weren't already charging us for every inch of space on the flight, now they're making us fight for the overhead bins. What's next? Charging extra for breathing better air?   ( nytimes.com) divider line
    More: Asinine  
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3717 clicks; posted to Business » on 12 Oct 2013 at 10:06 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-12 09:50:05 AM  
Airlines run more like government agencies all the time. They don't sell you what you want. They give you what they want with random applications of rules and fees.

All these mergers have gotten us us to "too big to fail" and raised the barriers to entry so high that no one can really claim the industry is competitive.
 
2013-10-12 10:00:48 AM  
i1264.photobucket.com

No thanks.
 
2013-10-12 10:08:10 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: No thanks.


Yeah. There are times when hitting the pay wall makes me sad. This is not one of those times.
 
2013-10-12 10:10:53 AM  
In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, insert $5.00 into the slot in the seatback in front of you
 
2013-10-12 10:17:01 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, insert $5.00 into the slot in the seatback in front of you


Exact change is appreciated.
 
2013-10-12 10:19:45 AM  

BizarreMan: MaudlinMutantMollusk: In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, insert $5.00 into the slot in the seatback in front of you

Exact change is appreciated.


Please have your credit card ready as we don't take cash.
 
2013-10-12 10:21:55 AM  
If your seat is 26-E and, "for convenience," on the way back you toss your bag above 3-A, your seat should be moved into the shiatter's holding tank for the duration of human aviation.
 
2013-10-12 10:23:13 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If your seat is 26-E and, "for convenience," on the way back you toss your bag above 3-A, your seat should be moved into the shiatter's holding tank for the duration of human aviation.


No, your bag should be thrown on the tarmac.
 
2013-10-12 10:24:50 AM  
You want that air vent above you to work?  It's $1 per second.  Please insert your credit card into the slot next to the air vent.  You want your card back?  That will be an additional $50 charge.
 
2013-10-12 10:26:21 AM  
Last two trips that I took, fellow passengers were more annoying than airplane policies. Two flights in a row I get on the plane and people are trying to exchange seats with me so they can be near someone. FFS, I registered early and picked the seats. Not gonna be hopping chairs because you didn't book early enough.
 
2013-10-12 10:31:33 AM  
Would run out of overhead space far less often if they actually enforced the 'size requirements'

Yes, you frequent business-traveler-farkers, I'm talking about you.  You are not special or beautiful snowflakes.
 
2013-10-12 10:32:24 AM  
$5.00, cards only please.

alloveralbany.com
 
2013-10-12 10:34:00 AM  

Leader O'Cola: Would run out of overhead space far less often if they actually enforced the 'size requirements'

Yes, you frequent business-traveler-farkers, I'm talking about you.  You are not special or beautiful snowflakes.


And let you check one bag with a ticket.  This is one of the reasons I try to fly Southwest when I can.
 
2013-10-12 10:35:01 AM  

skinink: Two flights in a row I get on the plane and people are trying to exchange seats with me so they can be near someone. FFS, I registered early and picked the seats. Not gonna be hopping chairs because you didn't book early enough.


Wanna change for another window seat in economy plus / exit row? Sure, happy to help. Oh you have a middle seat in the back of the plane? Like hell....

There's a reason I pick my seats at booking and then check periodically for better available, and then at exactly 24-hours I check-in so I can get an economy plus seat once they're opened up. Plenty of my colleagues get to the gate, take out their boarding pass, and say "Oh, I hope they didn't give me a middle seat again!"

//Almost saw two people kicked off one of my last flights because the guy with the middle seat got to his row and said: "Oh, I need a window seat, please move over." And then it went downhill from there. Bonus was his helpful suggestion to the crew: "Well, if you don't have any window seats left you either need to move somebody or put me in first class."
 
2013-10-12 10:38:09 AM  
cdn2.sbnation.com
 
2013-10-12 10:38:22 AM  

Leader O'Cola: Would run out of overhead space far less often if they actually enforced the 'size requirements'

Yes, you frequent business-traveler-farkers, I'm talking about you.  You are not special or beautiful snowflakes.


Oh, I could not disagree more with your blame.

I find that the obvious business travelers are either elites and get free checked bags, or they tend to travel like they know what they're doing. One briefcase/purse and a small carry-on with a change of clothes.

The folks eating up the bins are the families or single vacationers who are going for a week but absolutely refuse to pay to check a bag or leave stuff at home. I'm talking about the lady with a gigantic "purse" and a rollaboard that's too big to fit anywhere. In my experience it's the infrequent travelers who show up with way too much stuff and try to cram it all in the bins.
 
2013-10-12 10:40:04 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If your seat is 26-E and, "for convenience," on the way back you toss your bag above 3-A, your seat should be moved into the shiatter's holding tank for the duration of human aviation.



I've done that with my computer bag, but only when I'm one of the last people on the plane and I see all the overhead bin doors closed.
 
2013-10-12 10:47:55 AM  

phaseolus: Mr. Coffee Nerves: If your seat is 26-E and, "for convenience," on the way back you toss your bag above 3-A, your seat should be moved into the shiatter's holding tank for the duration of human aviation.


I've done that with my computer bag, but only when I'm one of the last people on the plane and I see all the overhead bin doors closed.


The problem is with the jackasses who board first, dump their bag in the front overhead (where nobody has had a chance to board yet), also conveniently blocking anybody else boarding from reaching their seat in a timely fashion, then proceed to their seat in the rear, having made boarding a pain in the ass for everybody else.

Just to double up on their asshattery, they end up stopping everybody from leaving when they retrieve their bags... usually beaning the lady sitting in her seat, patiently waiting for others to leave with their heavy bag.
 
2013-10-12 10:48:32 AM  

skinink: Last two trips that I took, fellow passengers were more annoying than airplane policies. Two flights in a row I get on the plane and people are trying to exchange seats with me so they can be near someone. FFS, I registered early and picked the seats. Not gonna be hopping chairs because you didn't book early enough.


Had that exact thing happen to me on a red eye home from San Francisco. Once the doors closed, the woman next to me looked over and asked if I would switch with her husband. I looked over at the next row, he was sitting in the middle seat between a couple larger people. I had an aisle seat and it was a red eye from San Francisco to Charlotte, there was no way in hell I was switching. I told her I couldn't because I had a medical issue and needed immediate access to the bathroom. Of course, that caused a "fark you" face from her and her husband. Sorry, maybe book earlier next time.
 
2013-10-12 10:51:10 AM  
One big mistake the airlines have made is to charge for the checked bags, but allow the roll-ons for free.

That is almost exactly backwards from what a sensible policy would be.

The bag charges piss people off, so they check fewer bags (and roll on more). Then all the roll-ons piss people off even more.

Were they trying to simultaneously raise revenue AND customer satisfaction, they should charge for the roll-ons and allow at least one checked bag for free.

Roll-ons are the devil, actually. Roll-ons and any healthy person who thinks they deserve special treatment on an airplane. We're all cattle in a tube, and don't forget it. You are entitled to your assigned seat, and to please shut the fark up. You're welcome.

/yeah, I fly a lot; how could you tell?
 
2013-10-12 10:54:17 AM  

dukeblue219: Leader O'Cola: Would run out of overhead space far less often if they actually enforced the 'size requirements'

Yes, you frequent business-traveler-farkers, I'm talking about you.  You are not special or beautiful snowflakes.

Oh, I could not disagree more with your blame.

I find that the obvious business travelers are either elites and get free checked bags, or they tend to travel like they know what they're doing. One briefcase/purse and a small carry-on with a change of clothes.

The folks eating up the bins are the families or single vacationers who are going for a week but absolutely refuse to pay to check a bag or leave stuff at home. I'm talking about the lady with a gigantic "purse" and a rollaboard that's too big to fit anywhere. In my experience it's the infrequent travelers who show up with way too much stuff and try to cram it all in the bins.


I'm not of the same experience; I will note that they do look like they pack lean and efficiently, but I'm pretty certain their bags are technically oversize
compared to the little box they are supposed to fit in/through at the gate (which are never employed by any of the agents). Sure it might only be an inch over, but it's a principles thing to me.

That doesn't excuse the policy-abusive infrequent travelers that you are noting-- I agree they are also a problem, but I expect less of them than I do of those who travel frequently. Maybe it's just my experience, but they generally get narc'd on and have to gate-check the massive shiat.


Don't even get me started on my desire to see a no-free-lap-children policy.....
 
2013-10-12 11:01:55 AM  
I was on a flight yesterday where the crew spent final approach extolling the virtues of a skymiles credit card, and the flight attendants went up and down the aisle trying to get people to sign up for one.
 
2013-10-12 11:05:19 AM  
They should charge for carry ons. Including purses and backpacks and bags of all sorts. You shouldn't bring anything on a plane that doesn't fit in your pocket.
 
2013-10-12 11:09:42 AM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: I was on a flight yesterday where the crew spent final approach extolling the virtues of a skymiles credit card, and the flight attendants went up and down the aisle trying to get people to sign up for one.


You haven't noticed that for the last twenty years???? At least on the Euro trips They feed me drinks and warmed nuts.
 
2013-10-12 11:10:35 AM  

Leader O'Cola: dukeblue219: Leader O'Cola: Would run out of overhead space far less often if they actually enforced the 'size requirements'

Yes, you frequent business-traveler-farkers, I'm talking about you.  You are not special or beautiful snowflakes.

Oh, I could not disagree more with your blame.

I find that the obvious business travelers are either elites and get free checked bags, or they tend to travel like they know what they're doing. One briefcase/purse and a small carry-on with a change of clothes.

The folks eating up the bins are the families or single vacationers who are going for a week but absolutely refuse to pay to check a bag or leave stuff at home. I'm talking about the lady with a gigantic "purse" and a rollaboard that's too big to fit anywhere. In my experience it's the infrequent travelers who show up with way too much stuff and try to cram it all in the bins.

I'm not of the same experience; I will note that they do look like they pack lean and efficiently, but I'm pretty certain their bags are technically oversize
compared to the little box they are supposed to fit in/through at the gate (which are never employed by any of the agents). Sure it might only be an inch over, but it's a principles thing to me.

That doesn't excuse the policy-abusive infrequent travelers that you are noting-- I agree they are also a problem, but I expect less of them than I do of those who travel frequently. Maybe it's just my experience, but they generally get narc'd on and have to gate-check the massive shiat.


Don't even get me started on my desire to see a no-free-lap-children policy.....


It's incredibly unlikely a FF has an oversized bag. They wouldn't always get an oversized bag through, and flying frequently, that would be a major problem. Domestic carry-ons are a set size, meaning manufacturers make bags specifically to fit the requirements. These are the bags FF purchase/own. They're not about to spend multiple times per week arguing about the size of their carry-on.
 
2013-10-12 11:12:35 AM  

Lost Thought 00: They should charge for carry ons. Including purses and backpacks and bags of all sorts. You shouldn't bring anything on a plane that doesn't fit in your pocket.


Fine, then I'm wearing this on my next flight:
images.esellerpro.com
 
2013-10-12 11:13:07 AM  

AlwaysRightBoy: LouDobbsAwaaaay: I was on a flight yesterday where the crew spent final approach extolling the virtues of a skymiles credit card, and the flight attendants went up and down the aisle trying to get people to sign up for one.

You haven't noticed that for the last twenty years???? At least on the Euro trips They feed me drinks and warmed nuts.


No, I haven't.  I've flown a lot in the last ten years, and I've never seen the flight crew just break into an infomercial during landing like that.  The co-pilot was on the intercom just reading from a script while the attendants harassed people to take literature.
 
2013-10-12 11:15:48 AM  
If your bag has a retractable handle and wheels, it's not a carry on so check that shiat.
fark you.

United Sucks donkey balls.
 
2013-10-12 11:18:26 AM  

skinink: Last two trips that I took, fellow passengers were more annoying than airplane policies. Two flights in a row I get on the plane and people are trying to exchange seats with me so they can be near someone. FFS, I registered early and picked the seats. Not gonna be hopping chairs because you didn't book early enough.


I saw someone politely decline to swap seats.  Then the other passenger called a stewardess.  The stew came over and asked him again, saying that it would be "the nice thing to do."  And when he continued to refuse, she brought over the chief stewardess (a guy, but face it if you're herding cattle on a high-altitude tin can, you're a stewardess.)  The chief stewardess told the non-compliant dude that he had to move for "weight and balance" purposes.  They gave him a choice: move or be kicked off the plane, forcibly if necessary.
 
2013-10-12 11:25:30 AM  

Kygz: If your bag has a retractable handle and wheels, it's not a carry on so check that shiat.
fark you.


Agreed.  But there would far less pressure to try and sneak a giant rolling-bag onto the airplane if the airline would charge for carry-ons rather than checked bags.  Every flight goes through the same dance with people being forced to check-through or gate-check, "no this will fit in the overhead, I'm sure of it", etc.  It wastes time and money for the airline to go through this over and over, because the incentivization they've developed is completely backward.

If it won't fit under the seat, you shouldn't be allowed to bring it on the plane with you.  Everything else should be checked, and the first checked bag should always be free of charge.
 
2013-10-12 11:26:49 AM  

T-Servo: Lost Thought 00: They should charge for carry ons. Including purses and backpacks and bags of all sorts. You shouldn't bring anything on a plane that doesn't fit in your pocket.

Fine, then I'm wearing this on my next flight:
[images.esellerpro.com image 800x800]


Now we know Rob Liefeld's Fark username.
 
2013-10-12 11:34:56 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: [i1264.photobucket.com image 734x469]

No thanks.


Delete the shiat at the beginning and end of the web address so it looks like this and it works perfectly fine.

nytimes.com/2013/10/12/business/fighting-for-space-in-a-planes-overhe a d-bins.html

/without the spaces that fark automatically adds
 
2013-10-12 11:35:24 AM  

dukeblue219: Leader O'Cola: Would run out of overhead space far less often if they actually enforced the 'size requirements'

Yes, you frequent business-traveler-farkers, I'm talking about you.  You are not special or beautiful snowflakes.

Oh, I could not disagree more with your blame.

I find that the obvious business travelers are either elites and get free checked bags, or they tend to travel like they know what they're doing. One briefcase/purse and a small carry-on with a change of clothes.

The folks eating up the bins are the families or single vacationers who are going for a week but absolutely refuse to pay to check a bag or leave stuff at home. I'm talking about the lady with a gigantic "purse" and a rollaboard that's too big to fit anywhere. In my experience it's the infrequent travelers who show up with way too much stuff and try to cram it all in the bins.


I fly to Munich maybe twice a month on average for business, so I've gotten to the point where I can pack a few days' worth of clothes in a 21" carry-on bag, no problem, suits and shirts included.  Most of the time it's a pleasant enough flight, but I loathe going there in September and October.  Invariably there's at least one pack of students on their way to Oktoberfest, usually closer to drunk than sober and each of  them toting those gigantic frame backpacks that you could hide a midget in.  One of them can take up a whole overhead bin by itself.

/anyone who has to fly to Orlando on a regular basis has my most sincere condolences
 
2013-10-12 11:35:42 AM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: Kygz: If your bag has a retractable handle and wheels, it's not a carry on so check that shiat.
fark you.

Agreed.  But there would far less pressure to try and sneak a giant rolling-bag onto the airplane if the airline would charge for carry-ons rather than checked bags.



Its not just the fee. People think they are too important to have to go stand at bag claim.
 
kab
2013-10-12 11:48:04 AM  
That's right, airline industry, continue making driving to my destination vastly more appealing, despite the increased travel time.
 
2013-10-12 11:51:55 AM  

LemSkroob: LouDobbsAwaaaay: Kygz: If your bag has a retractable handle and wheels, it's not a carry on so check that shiat.
fark you.

Agreed.  But there would far less pressure to try and sneak a giant rolling-bag onto the airplane if the airline would charge for carry-ons rather than checked bags.


Its not just the fee. People think they are too important to have to go stand at bag claim.


It's not a sense of self-importance, I just don't want to do it if I don't have to. That extra trip to baggage claim can cost upwards of a hour, no thanks.
 
2013-10-12 11:53:50 AM  

T-Servo: Lost Thought 00: They should charge for carry ons. Including purses and backpacks and bags of all sorts. You shouldn't bring anything on a plane that doesn't fit in your pocket.

Fine, then I'm wearing this on my next flight:
[images.esellerpro.com image 800x800]


Yeah... I see a lot of UFIA's from the TSA in your future.
 
2013-10-12 11:57:18 AM  

kab: That's right, airline industry, continue making driving to my destination vastly more appealing, despite the increased travel time.


I've discovered that if it takes a day to drive, i'm fine with it, because with the pain in the ass flying is turning into, the time loss isn't all that great, plus hey I have my car that I like when I get there
 
2013-10-12 12:02:49 PM  

loonatic112358: kab: That's right, airline industry, continue making driving to my destination vastly more appealing, despite the increased travel time.

I've discovered that if it takes a day to drive, i'm fine with it, because with the pain in the ass flying is turning into, the time loss isn't all that great, plus hey I have my car that I like when I get there


And if your flight was not going to be direct, you'd basically be spending the entire day flying anyway.  I flew yesterday, and it took 10 hours from door-to-door.  According to Google Maps, flying saved me about 3 hours, relative to just driving.
 
2013-10-12 12:07:43 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: And if your flight was not going to be direct, you'd basically be spending the entire day flying anyway.  I flew yesterday, and it took 10 hours from door-to-door.  According to Google Maps, flying saved me about 3 hours, relative to just driving.


Plus with driving you can stop, go for a walk, or you know eat something besides the mediocre airline food
 
2013-10-12 12:08:15 PM  

SecretAgentWoman: [i1264.photobucket.com image 734x469]

No thanks.


dj_spanmaster: SecretAgentWoman: No thanks.

Yeah. There are times when hitting the pay wall makes me sad. This is not one of those times.


http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/12/business/fighting-for-space-in-a-p la nes-overhead-bins.html?hp&_r=0

Direct link, and may I direct you to your browsers private mode should you hit the pay wall.
 
2013-10-12 12:24:10 PM  
As if airlines weren't already charging us for every inch of space on the flight, now they're making us fight for the overhead bins. What's next? Charging extra for breathing better air?


I'm thinking UnitedThunderDome.  Two men enter (the restroom)...
 
2013-10-12 12:34:07 PM  

loonatic112358: LouDobbsAwaaaay: And if your flight was not going to be direct, you'd basically be spending the entire day flying anyway.  I flew yesterday, and it took 10 hours from door-to-door.  According to Google Maps, flying saved me about 3 hours, relative to just driving.

Plus with driving you can stop, go for a walk, or you know eat something besides the mediocre airline food


And, in a car, you can get killed in an accident on the freeway.

Time-savings aren't the only reason to fly. It's VASTLY safer than driving.
 
2013-10-12 12:34:10 PM  

aaronx: One big mistake the airlines have made is to charge for the checked bags, but allow the roll-ons for free.

That is almost exactly backwards from what a sensible policy would be.

The bag charges piss people off, so they check fewer bags (and roll on more). Then all the roll-ons piss people off even more.

Were they trying to simultaneously raise revenue AND customer satisfaction, they should charge for the roll-ons and allow at least one checked bag for free.

Roll-ons are the devil, actually. Roll-ons and any healthy person who thinks they deserve special treatment on an airplane. We're all cattle in a tube, and don't forget it. You are entitled to your assigned seat, and to please shut the fark up. You're welcome.

/yeah, I fly a lot; how could you tell?


Less checked bags mean less union baggage handlers needed and less misplaced bags.

Huge savings.
 
2013-10-12 12:35:15 PM  

pueblonative: Two men enter (the restroom)...


i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-10-12 12:37:25 PM  

tillerman35: skinink: Last two trips that I took, fellow passengers were more annoying than airplane policies. Two flights in a row I get on the plane and people are trying to exchange seats with me so they can be near someone. FFS, I registered early and picked the seats. Not gonna be hopping chairs because you didn't book early enough.

I saw someone politely decline to swap seats.  Then the other passenger called a stewardess.  The stew came over and asked him again, saying that it would be "the nice thing to do."  And when he continued to refuse, she brought over the chief stewardess (a guy, but face it if you're herding cattle on a high-altitude tin can, you're a stewardess.)  The chief stewardess told the non-compliant dude that he had to move for "weight and balance" purposes.  They gave him a choice: move or be kicked off the plane, forcibly if necessary.


I would have made them kick me off.

The paperwork would have annoyed them.
 
2013-10-12 12:41:22 PM  
Flying remains great.  I don't fly all that often (maybe 10 times a year, or a little more?) but no complaints.  Tickets are pretty much cheaper than ever before.  If I have to board last and gate check my bag, whatever.  So I wait an extra half hour after FLYING THROUGH THE AIR.

Shrug.
 
2013-10-12 12:45:07 PM  
Yet again American airlines are behind their European counterparts.

Next to every check in area are baskets with big signs above them and if your bag doesn't fit into it it goes into the hold. Makes life easier as you don't get the cheap and selfish idiots bringing a small car on with them.
 
2013-10-12 12:52:33 PM  

LouDobbsAwaaaay: loonatic112358: kab: That's right, airline industry, continue making driving to my destination vastly more appealing, despite the increased travel time.

I've discovered that if it takes a day to drive, i'm fine with it, because with the pain in the ass flying is turning into, the time loss isn't all that great, plus hey I have my car that I like when I get there

And if your flight was not going to be direct, you'd basically be spending the entire day flying anyway.  I flew yesterday, and it took 10 hours from door-to-door.  According to Google Maps, flying saved me about 3 hours, relative to just driving.


I don't mean to say this in an impolite way, but you chose your seat. In travel, that is
 
2013-10-12 12:54:32 PM  
Many people are willing to pay to ensure custody of their important items because baggage handlers are malicious thieves, breaking what they can't easily steal.

It's a brilliant plan:
1. Ensure that no one wants to check baggage, by providing piss-poor service & guarantees as to the integrity and safety of checked baggage.
2. Charge customers for a service previously provided for free, because it's either pay for the previously free service or have your items destroyed, stolen, or just plain lost by the same folks charging you.
3. PROFIT!
 
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