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(NASCAR)   The final evening race of the season is here. Will it be more exciting than last week? Will all overhead camera cables stay secure? It's the Bank of America 500 at Charlotte (7:30 PM ET, ABC)   (nascar.com) divider line 612
    More: Cool  
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281 clicks; posted to Sports » on 12 Oct 2013 at 7:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-10-12 01:12:01 PM  
Are you not sports entertained?
img.fark.net

/set all idols and Buddhas to maximum setting now!
//He Who Shall Not Be Named does too well at this track
 
2013-10-12 06:16:56 PM  
All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.
 
2013-10-12 07:03:03 PM  

Tom_Slick: All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.


yes, i agree. overload his electrical system, which will ruin his car for the night!

Good call!
 
2013-10-12 07:05:37 PM  
A bit old, but good (not mine)

i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-12 07:09:03 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Tom_Slick: All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.

yes, i agree. overload his electrical system, which will ruin his car for the night!

Good call!


Lord Lucas does not overload your electrical system, he makes parts that look and test perfectly normal not work for no apparent reason.  Please do not upset Lord Lucas.
 
2013-10-12 07:10:59 PM  

Tom_Slick: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Tom_Slick: All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.

yes, i agree. overload his electrical system, which will ruin his car for the night!

Good call!

Lord Lucas does not overload your electrical system, he makes parts that look and test perfectly normal not work for no apparent reason.  Please do not upset Lord Lucas.


whatever it takes to make JJ get a DNF tonight, I'm all for it.
 
2013-10-12 07:11:42 PM  
Does it bother anyone else that fans are allowed to get so close to the cars before the race?

I fear some fan might be carrying a power idol and might jam it somewhere critical...
 
2013-10-12 07:13:40 PM  

Tom_Slick: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Tom_Slick: All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.

yes, i agree. overload his electrical system, which will ruin his car for the night!

Good call!

Lord Lucas does not overload your electrical system, he makes parts that look and test perfectly normal not work for no apparent reason.  Please do not upset Lord Lucas.


Saint Bosch begs to differ.

/Mercedes owner
 
2013-10-12 07:14:51 PM  
Is a cable over the track really a good idea?  It was bad enough when it was just a camera that fell.
 
2013-10-12 07:15:06 PM  

smerfnablin: Does it bother anyone else that fans are allowed to get so close to the cars before the race?

I fear some fan might be carrying a power idol and might jam it somewhere critical...


Please not to give Tiny Buddha ideas.
 
2013-10-12 07:16:12 PM  

smerfnablin: Does it bother anyone else that fans are allowed to get so close to the cars before the race?

I fear some fan might be carrying a power idol and might jam it somewhere critical...


From your keystrokes to "some fans" eyeballs, let it be done.
 
2013-10-12 07:17:11 PM  
@ESPNMcGee 32m
DON'T LOOK DOWN!

pbs.twimg.com
 
2013-10-12 07:19:13 PM  

Mztlplx: Tom_Slick: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Tom_Slick: All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.

yes, i agree. overload his electrical system, which will ruin his car for the night!

Good call!

Lord Lucas does not overload your electrical system, he makes parts that look and test perfectly normal not work for no apparent reason.  Please do not upset Lord Lucas.

Saint Bosch begs to differ.

/Mercedes owner


Saint Bosch is used to excise Lord Lucas from the fuel system, the Silent Angel Fuel Pump of Saint Bosch will easily defeat the screaming banshee from hell fuel pump of Lord Lucas.

/Rebuilding a Triumph TR6
 
2013-10-12 07:23:35 PM  
I got a handle on this

s9.thisnext.com
 
2013-10-12 07:24:25 PM  
Did anyone else just see a giant baby eating bunny?

I've only taken one hit! This shiat is great!
 
2013-10-12 07:25:01 PM  

mikaloyd: I got a handle on this


It's B E A U T I F U L.
 
2013-10-12 07:25:58 PM  

Tom_Slick: Lord Lucas does not overload your electrical system, he makes parts that look and test perfectly normal not work for no apparent reason.  Please do not upset Lord Lucas.


On the first day, God said: "Let there be light"

And Joe Lucas said: "fark you."
 
2013-10-12 07:26:19 PM  

smerfnablin: Does it bother anyone else that fans are allowed to get so close to the cars before the race?

I fear some fan might be carrying a power idol and might jam it somewhere critical...


Ahh the old banana in the tailpipe trick...... and loving it.
 
2013-10-12 07:27:30 PM  

Tom_Slick: Mztlplx: Tom_Slick: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Tom_Slick: All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.

yes, i agree. overload his electrical system, which will ruin his car for the night!

Good call!

Lord Lucas does not overload your electrical system, he makes parts that look and test perfectly normal not work for no apparent reason.  Please do not upset Lord Lucas.

Saint Bosch begs to differ.

/Mercedes owner

Saint Bosch is used to excise Lord Lucas from the fuel system, the Silent Angel Fuel Pump of Saint Bosch will easily defeat the screaming banshee from hell fuel pump of Lord Lucas.

/Rebuilding a Triumph TR6


I keep a 30 year old diesel running...But that, sir, is masochism on a level previously unknown to me. I salute your perseverance.

/really
 
2013-10-12 07:28:18 PM  
I did it all for the idol
What?
The idol
What?
You can take your Buddha
And stick it up your...

Umm... Fuel injectors?
 
2013-10-12 07:28:28 PM  

Tom_Slick: Mztlplx: Tom_Slick: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Tom_Slick: All hail Lord Lucas, Prince of Darkness,  Please enhance the 48's electrical system with your mighty power.  In Triumph we pray Amen.

yes, i agree. overload his electrical system, which will ruin his car for the night!

Good call!

Lord Lucas does not overload your electrical system, he makes parts that look and test perfectly normal not work for no apparent reason.  Please do not upset Lord Lucas.

Saint Bosch begs to differ.

/Mercedes owner

Saint Bosch is used to excise Lord Lucas from the fuel system, the Silent Angel Fuel Pump of Saint Bosch will easily defeat the screaming banshee from hell fuel pump of Lord Lucas.

/Rebuilding a Triumph TR6


May the ghosts of Napa be purged from te air flow system and let the angels of Sunoco keep your fuel lines clear. Let us bit upset the gremlins of Goodyear. Amen

/BMW owner
 
2013-10-12 07:28:39 PM  

Tom_Slick: /Rebuilding a Triumph TR6


Could be worse...a BSA (Bastard Stopped Again)
 
2013-10-12 07:31:39 PM  
Is this the only way Gretchen Wilson still has a career at this point?
 
2013-10-12 07:31:48 PM  

JIMMIE JOHNSON

JUAN PABLO MONTOYA WILL SUPLEX YOU

PUT YOU IN THE CAMEL CLUTCH

BREAK YOUR BACK

F*CK YOU IN THE ASS

AND MAKE YOU HUMBLE

i205.photobucket.com

 
2013-10-12 07:31:48 PM  

HamstersFromHell: Tom_Slick: /Rebuilding a Triumph TR6

Could be worse...a BSA (Bastard Stopped Again)


I also have a 68 Triumph Bonneville

/As we dance to the masochism tango.
 
2013-10-12 07:32:09 PM  
CHORUS:She's filthy, she's nasty,
      She spits on the floor,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

Way out in the wild west where the bullshiat lies thick,
Where the women are women and the cowboys come quick,
There lives a fair maiden of forty or more,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

She's handy, she's bandy, she screws in the street,
Whenever you meet her she's always in heat,
If you leave your fly open she's after your meat,
And the small of her c**t knocks you right off your feet.

She's easy, she's breezy, she's my hearts delight,
I'll f**k her by day and f**k her by night,
And each time I f**k her she shouts out, "Encore,"
I call that great f**king and I want some more.

One night on the prairie while riding along,
One hand on my pistol and one on my dong,
What should I spy but the maid I adore,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

One night I was riding way down by the falls,
One hand on my pistol, the other on my balls,
What should I see but Charlotte using a stick,
Instead of the end of a cowpuncher's prick.

One night on the desert her legs opened wide,
A rattlesnake saw it and climbed up inside,
Now all the cowboys on Saturday night,
Come see the vagina that rattles and bites.

I leapt from my saddle and reached for her crack,
But the damn thing was rattling and bit me back,
I pulled out my six gun and aimed for its head,
But the damn thing misfired and shot Charlotte instead.

I caressed her, undressed her, and laid her down there,
And parted the tresses of curly brown hair,
Inserted the penis of my sturdy horse,
And then there began a strange intercourse.


Faster and faster went my sturdy steed,
Until Charlotte rejoiced at the speed,
When all of a sudden my horse did backfire,
And shot Charlotte right into the mire.

He got Charlotte all covered in muck,
And said, "Oh dear, cowboy, what a glorious f**k,"
She stepped a pace forward and fell flat on the floor,
And that was the end of the cowpuncher's whore.

The funeral procession was forty miles long,
And all of the cowboys were singing the song,
"Here lies a maiden who never kept score,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore."
 
2013-10-12 07:32:21 PM  
Quick, somebody get under the hood of the 48 and pull a couple of plug wires!
 
2013-10-12 07:33:19 PM  
"As always, we start things off with grammy award winning..."

shiat, shiat shiat. *lunges for the mute button.*
 
2013-10-12 07:33:50 PM  

Tom_Slick: HamstersFromHell: Tom_Slick: /Rebuilding a Triumph TR6

Could be worse...a BSA (Bastard Stopped Again)

I also have a 68 Triumph Bonneville

/As we dance to the masochism tango.


So you're dealing with both Skinners Union AND Anal carbs? Bless you my child.
 
2013-10-12 07:34:50 PM  
I think the 9 year old from a few weeks ago did a better job on the national anthem

This girl started out fine then went off the rails IMHO
 
2013-10-12 07:35:50 PM  

Mztlplx: /Rebuilding a Triumph TR6

I keep a 30 year old diesel running...But that, sir, is masochism on a level previously unknown to me. I salute your perseverance.

/really


I picked up a rust free basket case of a TR6 2 months ago knowing it would need a complete wire job and interior and top, it was somebody's abandoned project in an airplane hanger where I store my Cessna.   The FBO sold it to me for a song he was going to scrap it.
 
2013-10-12 07:36:01 PM  
Call me a sucker, but I love seeing the drivers and their families during the anthem.  Looking forward to tonight's race and I'm hopeful it soothes my sadness from my Dodgers losing.  Again.
 
2013-10-12 07:36:29 PM  
What was that flyover, it looked cool, but I missed what they said.
 
2013-10-12 07:36:49 PM  
I don't think that's the Iron Maiden version
How does prevailing upon the British manufacturer Loose Unconnected Clips And Solders hurt a whitebread guy from El Cajon?
 
2013-10-12 07:37:29 PM  

vegaswench: Call me a sucker, but I love seeing the drivers and their families during the anthem.  Looking forward to tonight's race and I'm hopeful it soothes my sadness from my Dodgers losing.  Again.


You sound like an old person who doesnt hate America as hard as she can.
 
2013-10-12 07:37:37 PM  

HamstersFromHell: So you're dealing with both Skinners Union AND Anal carbs? Bless you my child.


I haven't ridden the Bonnie since my child was born 6 years ago, I keep meaning to sell it but I just can't let that part of my youth go.
 
2013-10-12 07:37:48 PM  

HamstersFromHell: Tom_Slick: /Rebuilding a Triumph TR6

Could be worse...a BSA (Bastard Stopped Again)


Or an MGA...

Might Go Again
 
2013-10-12 07:38:49 PM  

vegaswench: Call me a sucker, but I love seeing the drivers and their families during the anthem.  Looking forward to tonight's race and I'm hopeful it soothes my sadness from my Dodgers losing.  Again.


GO CARDS!!
(i feel so dirty for typing that, but they're definitely the lesser of two evils)
 
2013-10-12 07:38:55 PM  

kteela: What was that flyover, it looked cool, but I missed what they said.


vaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRrrrrrroooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm
 
2013-10-12 07:39:08 PM  
@dustinlong
Pink is everywhere in the garage, including on this MWR crewmember

pbs.twimg.com
 
2013-10-12 07:39:43 PM  

MBrady: clear_prop: Is a cable over the track really a good idea?  It was bad enough when it was just a camera that fell.

a cable broke in the spring...damaged a few cars...Kyle Busch's was one.


That's what I was referring to.

kteela: What was that flyover, it looked cool, but I missed what they said.


Team Aerodynamix.  They fly a bunch of kit planes.
 
2013-10-12 07:39:58 PM  
Heyas VW...grats on KyBus win last night.

/see Smerf?  It's all in relatively good fun.
//sets out Tiny Buddha to his appropriate race watching position and powers up...
 
2013-10-12 07:40:11 PM  
did I really just see an ad with JJ asking ladies to grow a Chase Beard?
 
2013-10-12 07:41:03 PM  

Tom_Slick: I picked up a rust free basket case of a TR6 2 months ago knowing it would need a complete wire job and interior and top, it was somebody's abandoned project in an airplane hanger where I store my Cessna.   The FBO sold it to me for a song he was going to scrap it.


Lucky you. My ex son in law became destined for masochism when he bought 2 Spitfires to make one good one out of. They still sit in his his dad's barn 5 years later, with a metric crapton of new parts still in the boxes...and a nice unused set of Minilites.

I stuck with the 2 wheeled variety. Ex Triumph factory trained back in the 70's. Had a '60 TR6, '70 Tiger and a much modded '71 TR6 in a '69 frame.
 
2013-10-12 07:41:06 PM  
A man... a man and his truck.

A man and his son he can't relate to.

A man and his low-testosterone, and his Androgel.

A man and his boner pills, because at this point nothing really works for him with his damn wife anymore. She's always trying to get between that man and his truck.
 
2013-10-12 07:41:28 PM  

technomuse: did I really just see an ad with JJ asking ladies to grow a Chase Beard?


Yes.  Yes, you did.
 
2013-10-12 07:42:07 PM  

technomuse: did I really just see an ad with JJ asking ladies to grow a Chase Beard?


Hes gonna end up with a blown tranny thataway
 
2013-10-12 07:42:14 PM  

technomuse: did I really just see an ad with JJ asking ladies to grow a Chase Beard?


well, since technically his wife is a race beard...

(see, I'm calling him gay)
 
2013-10-12 07:43:03 PM  

mikaloyd: CHORUS:She's filthy, she's nasty,
      She spits on the floor,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

Way out in the wild west where the bullshiat lies thick,
Where the women are women and the cowboys come quick,
There lives a fair maiden of forty or more,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

She's handy, she's bandy, she screws in the street,
Whenever you meet her she's always in heat,
If you leave your fly open she's after your meat,
And the small of her c**t knocks you right off your feet.

She's easy, she's breezy, she's my hearts delight,
I'll f**k her by day and f**k her by night,
And each time I f**k her she shouts out, "Encore,"
I call that great f**king and I want some more.

One night on the prairie while riding along,
One hand on my pistol and one on my dong,
What should I spy but the maid I adore,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore.

One night I was riding way down by the falls,
One hand on my pistol, the other on my balls,
What should I see but Charlotte using a stick,
Instead of the end of a cowpuncher's prick.

One night on the desert her legs opened wide,
A rattlesnake saw it and climbed up inside,
Now all the cowboys on Saturday night,
Come see the vagina that rattles and bites.

I leapt from my saddle and reached for her crack,
But the damn thing was rattling and bit me back,
I pulled out my six gun and aimed for its head,
But the damn thing misfired and shot Charlotte instead.

I caressed her, undressed her, and laid her down there,
And parted the tresses of curly brown hair,
Inserted the penis of my sturdy horse,
And then there began a strange intercourse.


Faster and faster went my sturdy steed,
Until Charlotte rejoiced at the speed,
When all of a sudden my horse did backfire,
And shot Charlotte right into the mire.

He got Charlotte all covered in muck,
And said, "Oh dear, cowboy, what a glorious f**k,"
She stepped a pace forward and fell flat on the floor,
And that was the end of the cowpuncher's whore.

The funeral procession was forty miles long,
And all of the cowboys were singing the song,
"Here lies a maiden who never kept score,
Charlotte the Harlot, the cowpuncher's whore."


*FAP*
 
2013-10-12 07:43:06 PM  
Anyone notice if kpavil is still driving the strive to end domestic violence car after he got arrested for beating his wife this week?
 
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