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(The Atlantic)   Snapple's "Real Facts" are, in fact, not facts   ( divider line
    More: Ironic, Snapple, California Public Utilities Commission, National Historic Landmark, quacks, Acoustics, Liberty Bell, zomg, National Register of Historic Places  
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7212 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Oct 2013 at 10:36 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-11 07:25:32 PM  
4 votes:
Next you'll be telling me that Bud Light's Real Men of Genius weren't, in fact, geniuses.
2013-10-11 11:32:28 PM  
2 votes:
That's why I only trust Bazooka Joe and Dr. Bronner.
2013-10-12 11:18:41 AM  
1 vote:
img.gawkerassets.comView Full Size

Also, since somebody posted the Fact Sphere, might as well post the "facts" on it.

i1.theportalwiki.netView Full Size

Sounds much better in audio form.

Cellular phones will not give you cancer. Only hepatitis.

In Greek myth, Prometheus stole fire from the Gods and gave it to humankind. The jewelry he kept for himself.

The Schrodinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrodinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.

In 1862, Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing the slaves. Like everything he did, Lincoln freed the slaves while sleepwalking, and later had no memory of the event.

The plural of surgeon general is surgeons general. The past tense of surgeons general is surgeonsed general

Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.

Halley's Comet can be viewed orbiting Earth every seventy-six years. For the other seventy-five, it retreats to the heart of the sun, where it hibernates undisturbed.

The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.
Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird.

The square root of rope is string.

89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically, they are sorcery.

At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.

According to most advanced algorithms, the world's best name is Craig.

To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.

Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked and have their teeth fall out.

Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious, as humans.

Pants were invented by sailors in the sixteenth century to avoid Poseidon's wrath. It was believed that the sight of naked sailors angered the sea god.

In Greek myth, the craftsman Daedalus invented human flight so a group of Minotaurs would stop teasing him about it.

The average life expectancy of a rhinoceros in captivity is 15 years.

China produces the world's second largest crop of soybeans.

In Victorian England, a commoner was not allowed to look directly at the Queen, due to a belief at the time that the poor had the ability to steal thoughts. Science now believes that less than 4% of poor people are able to do this.

In 1948, at the request of a dying boy, baseball legend Babe Ruth ate seventy-five hot dogs, then died of hot dog poisoning.

William Shakespeare did not exist. His plays were masterminded in 1589 by Francis Bacon, who used a Ouija board to enslave play-writing ghosts.

It is incorrectly noted that Thomas Edison invented 'push-ups' in 1878. Nikolai Tesla had in fact patented the activity three years earlier, under the name 'Tesla-cize'.

The automobile brake was not invented until 1895. Before this, someone had to remain in the car at all times, driving in circles until passengers returned from their errands.

The most poisonous fish in the world is the orange ruffy. Everything but its eyes are made of a deadly poison. The ruffy's eyes are composed of a less harmful, deadly poison.

The occupation of court jester was invented accidentally, when a vassal's epilepsy was mistaken for capering.

Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.

Before the invention of scrambled eggs in 1912, the typical breakfast was either whole eggs still in the shell or scrambled rocks.

During the Great Depression, the Tennessee Valley Authority outlawed pet rabbits, forcing many to hot glue-gun long ears onto their pet mice.

Diamonds are made when coal is put under intense pressure. Diamonds put under intense pressure become foam pellets, commonly used today as packing material.
2013-10-12 08:23:26 AM  
1 vote:

Ricardo Klement: Next you'll be telling me that Bud Light's Real Men of Genius weren't, in fact, geniuses.

Here's to you!  Mr. Fark commenter comment guy!
2013-10-12 04:18:08 AM  
1 vote:

InternetSecurityGuard: wax_on: Fact:  Snapple used to be a lightly sweetened juice without a lot of nasty high fructose corn syrup.  That was like 20 years ago, back when gas was under a dollar.  Now it's just awful, I would never willingly drink one.

Better check the calendar on the "gas under a dollar" fact. I recall sleeping overnight in a gas line in the late '70's just to buy gasoline for the princely sum of $0.99 per gallon. I'm pretty certain it have inched up a lot higher by 1993.

A lot of gas pumps weren't set up to handle anything over 99 cents per gallon. I recall buying gasoline by the litre for a short while while the pump manufacturers came up with a fix.

I remember $0.89 at Arco in the late 80's...of course, back then you could get a cheeseburger at mc d's for $0.59

/stupid cloud!
2013-10-12 01:52:33 AM  
1 vote:
farm1.staticflickr.comView Full Size
2013-10-11 11:57:37 PM  
1 vote:
On the other hand, the True Facts on YouTube are 100% legit.
2013-10-11 11:25:18 PM  
1 vote:
i2.cdn.turner.comView Full Size
2013-10-11 11:21:51 PM  
1 vote:
img.fark.netView Full Size

Fact: At some point in their lives, 1 in six children will be kidnapped by the dutch.
2013-10-11 11:08:17 PM  
1 vote:
Real fact: Snapple grew to prominence by advertising on Rush Limbaugh's show in the 1990s and that is where the same listeners got the affinity for the Tea Party.
2013-10-11 09:30:56 PM  
1 vote:
We Fact-Checked Snapple's 'Real Facts'
With 30 seconds and a web connection, you can, too.

I wish some of my idiot friends on Facebook would embrace this. I'm getting tired of being told in outraged tones that Monsanto has won the Nobel Prize for Agriculture.
2013-10-11 09:26:17 PM  
1 vote:

neuroflare: RedPhoenix122: Ricardo Klement: Next you'll be telling me that Bud Light's Real Men of Genius weren't, in fact, geniuses.

But they were Real American Heroes.

No, 9/11 ruined their herodom

Then the terrorists have already won.
2013-10-11 09:21:04 PM  
1 vote:

RedPhoenix122: Ricardo Klement: Next you'll be telling me that Bud Light's Real Men of Genius weren't, in fact, geniuses.

But they were Real American Heroes.

No, 9/11 ruined their herodom
2013-10-11 08:44:20 PM  
1 vote:
Real Fact# 732 - If your aunt had balls, she'd be your uncle.
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