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(SeattlePI)   If you're an FBI agent who spent $16,835 buying more than 130 lap dances, people are going to ask questions if you don't make a single arrest   (seattlepi.com) divider line 60
    More: Strange, FBI  
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5560 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2013 at 2:08 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-11 01:57:47 PM
He frisked all the strippers and they were all clean.  Sticky, but clean.
 
2013-10-11 02:10:20 PM
So he spent an average of $130 per.  Guess he ended each session with "I've never done this before, how does it work?"  Then she said "Well, honey it's $40 for each song and we danced for three songs, but I need a tip too.  And you left a stain on my best thong, that's extra."
 
2013-10-11 02:11:00 PM
$130 bucks a pop?  At $25 a song, that's 5 songs on average.  That's a lot of happy endings.
 
2013-10-11 02:11:37 PM
Handle your business.
 
2013-10-11 02:13:27 PM
Essential Federal Service..I..Furlough

Pick a side. There must be a partisan side, prolly two.
 
2013-10-11 02:15:26 PM
Waiting patiently for someone to post the pic of the South Park cop who posed as a hooker and kept farking everyone before arresting them.
 
2013-10-11 02:15:54 PM

4tehsnowflakes: So he spent an average of $130 per.  Guess he ended each session with "I've never done this before, how does it work?"  Then she said "Well, honey it's $40 for each song and we danced for three songs, but I need a tip too.  And you left a stain on my best thong, that's extra."


I read it more as he's a good tipper because it's not his money.
 
2013-10-11 02:18:20 PM
OK, OK,,,
That grass mowing guy has moved me.

Challenge accepted.
 
2013-10-11 02:18:56 PM
THat is a lot of Stickups.  I bet he was getting rubbed the wrong way
 
2013-10-11 02:19:07 PM

Anayalator: Handle your business.


I'm guessing his business was handled quite frequently.
 
2013-10-11 02:19:14 PM

4tehsnowflakes: So he spent an average of $130 per.  Guess he ended each session with "I've never done this before, how does it work?"  Then she said "Well, honey it's $40 for each song and we danced for three songs, but I need a tip too.  And you left a stain on my best thong, that's extra."


He was one of the select few who actually had champagne in the champagne room.
dalaughingbarrel.com
 
2013-10-11 02:19:30 PM
I think it's time to wash those pants.
 
2013-10-11 02:20:48 PM

kkinnison: THat is a lot of Stickups.  I bet he was getting rubbed the wrong way


 "he" ?

Jumping to sexist conclusions are we?
 
2013-10-11 02:21:02 PM
Damn. Must have been using the government contractor price schedule.

/Pentagon price schedule is $500 a dance, but first the dancer has to go through ten years of R&D at a cost of $1.2mil.
//no worries, we'll take the cost overruns from the education budget
 
2013-10-11 02:21:33 PM
That's unusual for defendants to say that the police have no business in their business.

The jury will probably buy that, since the jurors may end up in witness protection otherwise.
 
2013-10-11 02:21:53 PM
Questions like:
How do you get that job?
Can I get hired sooner if I refuse pay?
Strippers are on you? What are you drinking, buddy?
 
2013-10-11 02:22:25 PM
Isn't that SOP for the FBI?
They don't arrest people for *a* crime.  They start an investigation and document every crime possible up until it's time to close the investigation and pass out the indictments.
(Would we be surprised to hear they didn't blow an entire mob investigation just to arrest one goomba the second they saw a little coke?)

Plus, if you're talking about four clubs over four years, you could easily be talking about 130 individual dancers.

I'm not sayin they're not dirtbags having fun on the public dime.
I'm just saying it doesn't look like anything particularly egregious for the FBI.
 
2013-10-11 02:23:05 PM
Well, it's better than spending $130 on 16,835 lap dances.
 
2013-10-11 02:24:01 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-11 02:25:24 PM
um, no questions, i think it's pretty clear what was going on there.

/wait, what was going on there?
 
2013-10-11 02:29:57 PM
There's stealing pens from work... And then there's this
 
2013-10-11 02:31:41 PM

proteus_b: um, no questions, i think it's pretty clear what was going on there.

/wait, what was going on there?


He just wanted to ask for directions. The lapdances were just to be polite.
 
2013-10-11 02:33:39 PM
HA!!! Black ops counterintelligence slush fund cash doesn't have to answer to anyone.

This is what happens to that $70,000 $50,000 $30,000 that was seized.
 
2013-10-11 02:34:44 PM
Sex at a strip club? You don't say!

I laughed when I found out that up until a few years ago, indoor prostitution was legal in Rhode Island and nothing could be done about it until the politicians closed that loophole. But while prostitution was legal, I don't remember reading stories about Rhode Island turning into Sodom and Gomorrah.
 
2013-10-11 02:47:04 PM
He had some hard leads, but they all petered out in the end.
 
2013-10-11 02:48:57 PM
Years ago I had a weird job sometimes I had to help sales people take clients out when they came to town and yes sometimes that ment going to strip clubs. Believe me the ladies in accounting enjoyed teasing me over my expense reports. Never had any lap dances on there though because you cant get them in DC.
 
2013-10-11 02:52:18 PM
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Whoop whoop whoop --
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Whoop whoop whoop --
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Whoop whoop whoop --
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Can an ASAC get a table dance,
Whoop whoop whoop --
 
ows
2013-10-11 02:56:16 PM
i hope those dances came with some blow

yes, and yes
 
2013-10-11 03:02:27 PM

snocone: Essential Federal Service..I..Furlough

Pick a side. There must be a partisan side, prolly two.


You are like a Snocone in the sun.
I clicked, but the links had melted and didn't work anymore.
Or.
Are you just mean?
 
2013-10-11 03:05:34 PM
sjaejones.com

I dunno. Sculley, how many space aliens did we capture?
 
2013-10-11 03:10:02 PM

AngryDragon: $130 bucks a pop?  At $25 a song, that's 5 songs on average.  That's a lot of happy endings.


Good god. They charge $25 now? It was only $10 when I were a kid...

... and you can get happy endings there now... used to be you'd get thrown out if you touched (or were touched by one)...

There again... I'm no expert only been to a couple... and none for 15 years.
 
m00
2013-10-11 03:19:24 PM

CleanAndPure: Good god. They charge $25 now? It was only $10 when I were a kid...


Yeah but there are child labor laws now.
 
2013-10-11 03:31:51 PM
Is there a magic code word you have to use to get the stripper to blow you?  I tried being subtle with one but she just kept dragging it out for more and more dances.  I asked one upfront and she slapped me.  Just can't win.
 
2013-10-11 03:47:29 PM
The defense says this investigation has turned the FBI into a vice squad. Because that's EXACTLY what has happened.

I could see this involving the Feds if it were like the Atlanta Gold Club case, where they were mobbed up and ripping customers off by double-billing their credit cards, but TFA seems to say it's just about prostitution at strip clubs, and they're trying to nail the "kingpins." You don't need undercover detective work to deal with that; you just audit their tax records.
 
2013-10-11 03:54:50 PM
Ha, what's his Fark handle? Get this guy a beer.
 
2013-10-11 03:57:53 PM
What's the big deal, that will bearly pay for 1/3 of her first year of law school.
 
2013-10-11 03:59:58 PM

syrynxx: He frisked all the strippers and they were all clean.  Sticky, but clean.


You know he was covered in body glitter.
 
2013-10-11 04:08:10 PM
at $130 each I don't think they were just "Dances". If ya know what I mean, and I think you do.

/I mean sex
 
2013-10-11 04:13:39 PM

ringersol: I'm not sayin they're not dirtbags having fun on the public dime.
I'm just saying it doesn't look like anything particularly egregious for the FBI.


I'm all for doing investigations for the public good. Even strip clubs. As soon as they have caught every single dude perpetrating investment fraud, identity theft, check fraud, etc. Until then this is an absurd use of time and resources. Other than a few uptight grandmothers no one gives a shiat that you may or may not be able to pay extra for a handjob in a strip club.
 
2013-10-11 04:24:48 PM

ringersol: Isn't that SOP for the FBI?
They don't arrest people for *a* crime.  They start an investigation and document every crime possible up until it's time to close the investigation and pass out the indictments.
(Would we be surprised to hear they didn't blow an entire mob investigation just to arrest one goomba the second they saw a little coke?)

Plus, if you're talking about four clubs over four years, you could easily be talking about 130 individual dancers.

I'm not sayin they're not dirtbags having fun on the public dime.
I'm just saying it doesn't look like anything particularly egregious for the FBI.


Yea, police undercover make small arrests. Federal usually don't, they build a case
 
2013-10-11 04:26:56 PM

mbillips: The defense says this investigation has turned the FBI into a vice squad. Because that's EXACTLY what has happened.

I could see this involving the Feds if it were like the Atlanta Gold Club case, where they were mobbed up and ripping customers off by double-billing their credit cards, but TFA seems to say it's just about prostitution at strip clubs, and they're trying to nail the "kingpins." You don't need undercover detective work to deal with that; you just audit their tax records.


Yeah. Curious to know why the FBI got involved in this at all.
 
2013-10-11 04:34:45 PM

fusillade762: mbillips: The defense says this investigation has turned the FBI into a vice squad. Because that's EXACTLY what has happened.

I could see this involving the Feds if it were like the Atlanta Gold Club case, where they were mobbed up and ripping customers off by double-billing their credit cards, but TFA seems to say it's just about prostitution at strip clubs, and they're trying to nail the "kingpins." You don't need undercover detective work to deal with that; you just audit their tax records.

Yeah. Curious to know why the FBI got involved in this at all.


FTFA: In the indictment, federal authorities accused the Colacurcios and their associates of racketeering, using interstate commerce to facilitate prostitution, money laundering and mail fraud.

The part about interstate commerce and mail fraud make it fed jurisdiction right?
And the feds had to do the prostitution sting because: Jones previously ruled Fueston and Ebert could continue working in the clubs so long as they did not speak with employees about the criminal case or allow prostitution in the clubs
Their continued prostitution was relevant to the case the feds were making.
 
2013-10-11 04:39:10 PM
Depends what the purpose was.  Was he undercover with arms dealers who had a strip club as a front, or was he trying to bust strippers for consensual non-crimes?
 
2013-10-11 04:54:31 PM
i1.wp.com
 
2013-10-11 04:59:38 PM
That's just comedy gold, that!
 
2013-10-11 05:00:59 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-11 05:08:19 PM

serial_crusher: Is there a magic code word you have to use to get the stripper to blow you?  I tried being subtle with one but she just kept dragging it out for more and more dances.  I asked one upfront and she slapped me.  Just can't win.


You need to consort with the larger/ uglier ladies... or have way more Benjamins... if you have to ask, your wallet's too thin!

Time to step up your game to the Charlie Sheen levels...
 
2013-10-11 05:37:13 PM

CleanAndPure: AngryDragon: $130 bucks a pop?  At $25 a song, that's 5 songs on average.  That's a lot of happy endings.

Good god. They charge $25 now? It was only $10 when I were a kid...

There again... I'm no expert only been to a couple... and none for 15 years.


What's your wife's Fark handle?
 
2013-10-11 07:33:12 PM

serial_crusher: Is there a magic code word you have to use to get the stripper to blow you?  I tried being subtle with one but she just kept dragging it out for more and more dances.  I asked one upfront and she slapped me.  Just can't win.


if you're asking or hinting you're not going to get one.
 
2013-10-11 08:09:25 PM
Should have claimed it was a college scholarship for working moms.
 
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