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(Telegraph)   Any obituary with the phrase "several feet of intestine" in it has to be a good read   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 44
    More: Interesting, Chopper' Read, physical punishment, Eric Bana, true crime, Australians, kidnappings, robbery  
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9889 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2013 at 1:40 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-11 01:45:10 PM
Especially if it was used to play skiprope.
 
2013-10-11 01:45:26 PM
Not better than a birth announcement with that phrase...
 
2013-10-11 01:46:41 PM
My obituary sucked.
 
2013-10-11 01:47:07 PM

FunkOut: Especially if it was used to play skiprope.


2.bp.blogspot.com

Rappelling down a building is also acceptable.
 
2013-10-11 01:47:12 PM
"Chopper" is a great movie and worth watching. One of Eric Bana's earliest roles.
 
2013-10-11 01:47:45 PM
bashapedia.pbworks.com

Won't argue.
 
2013-10-11 01:47:57 PM
Yep, that was a good Read.
 
2013-10-11 01:50:10 PM
img.fark.net
?
 
2013-10-11 01:54:28 PM

Dimensio: FunkOut: Especially if it was used to play skiprope.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 425x228]

Rappelling down a building is also acceptable.


Or to strangle your opponent in a fight (NSFW or your lunch)
 
2013-10-11 01:55:13 PM
i.telegraph.co.uk

And this is apparently his "gaycigardaddies.com" profile pic.
 
2013-10-11 01:58:04 PM

RottNDude: And this is apparently his "gaycigardaddies.com" profile pic.


Notice his ears are mostly gone.
 
2013-10-11 01:58:23 PM
My favorite bit of the article:

"In 2001 Read featured in an Australian road safety advertisement. "I know most of you out there may hate my guts - I'm not a very popular person," he declared. "But you drink and you drive... you're a murdering maggot just the same as I am." "
 
2013-10-11 01:59:57 PM
The attack reportedly cost Read several feet of intestine.


He would've gotten his revenge, too, but HE DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS.


/AMIRITE
 
2013-10-11 02:01:15 PM

FunkOut: Especially if it was used to play skiprope.


hotdogs anyone?
 
2013-10-11 02:04:36 PM
Oblig and Oblig.

/Keithy seems to've done himself a mischief.
 
2013-10-11 02:05:58 PM
i.imgur.com

Harden the fark up Australia!
 
2013-10-11 02:09:23 PM

FunkOut: Especially if it was used to play skiprope.



We can be anything that we want to be
Won't back down don't roll with the crowd
Like a jump rope we can never be broke
Twisted and never badder forever
 
2013-10-11 02:10:09 PM

skinink: "Chopper" is a great movie and worth watching. One of Eric Bana's earliest roles.


Huh...article says Bana was/is a comedian?
 
2013-10-11 02:10:47 PM

Dimensio: FunkOut: Especially if it was used to play skiprope.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 425x228]

Rappelling down a building is also acceptable.


In Machete Kills, he also has an unusual application for them.
 
2013-10-11 02:11:17 PM
That is how you have an active outdoor lifestyle

www.diseaseproof.com
 
2013-10-11 02:11:33 PM

PunGent: Bana was/is a comedian?


I think they were referring to the vaudevillian term, Banana.
 
2013-10-11 02:12:35 PM
From this point, if not earlier, Read's criminal career can be tracked only by reference to his own boastful recollections

Riiiiight. So as much of a gangster as this twonk, then?
 
2013-10-11 02:15:35 PM
He then served everybody chitlins.
 
2013-10-11 02:25:47 PM
Chop-Chop was a standover man.

A standover man of big time drug dealers.

Think of the GIGANTIC FARKING NADS that would require. Truth be told, he was probably just plain crazy. He arsed his way thru decades of danger and violence, outliving nearly all of his crim associates of that era.

Crazy. And lucky.

I think that was a lot of his appeal. He was also good for a memorable quote or two with a larrikin turn of phrase.

"Yeah, well I think anyone that does live a normal life deserves a Brownlow Medal because it's just so...it's just so hard. It's tedious, it's never-ending. You know, like it's vacuuming and washing dishes and cooking and cleaning and, oh, the list goes on."

oi43.tinypic.com
 
2013-10-11 02:28:45 PM
I think I saw Several Feel of Intestine is the name of my Russell Crowe Tribute band.

It's a joke based on the actual name of Russell Crowe's band, look it up you will scream with laughter for four or five days.

- not really
 
2013-10-11 02:28:47 PM
"It was them or me. I got in first. But that doesn't mean that you're happy about the decision. It was the world I was in and they were in the same world.

And I got in first."


oi41.tinypic.com

Word.
 
2013-10-11 02:33:22 PM

brap: I think I saw Several Feet of Intestine [FTFY] is the name of my Russell Crowe Tribute band.

It's a joke based on the actual name of Russell Crowe's band, look it up you will scream with laughter for four or five days.

not really
~

~
I cracked a smile. Nice work.

Several Odd Feet of Intestine, maybe?
 
2013-10-11 02:34:07 PM

Big Ramifications: "It was them or me. I got in first. But that doesn't mean that you're happy about the decision. It was the world I was in and they were in the same world.

And I got in first."

[oi41.tinypic.com image 305x433]

Word.


Guy looks like a freakin' doily.
 
2013-10-11 02:38:25 PM
 
2013-10-11 02:51:10 PM
He nailed my head to a coffee table.

/Got better
 
2013-10-11 03:10:31 PM

headstone: Big Ramifications: "It was them or me. I got in first. But that doesn't mean that you're happy about the decision. It was the world I was in and they were in the same world.

And I got in first."

[oi41.tinypic.com image 305x433]

Word.

Guy looks like a freakin' doily.

~
~
Yeah, those tats are a joke. It just looks like bloody scribble. Like he fell asleep while he was baby sitting a couple of 2 year olds and they took to him with a magic marker.

His tats always reminded me of this random collection of symbols and do-dads. Erm.... but the version drawn by 2 year olds.

i44.tinypic.com.

// I was going to say "sharpie" instead of "magic marker" but.... too soon
 
2013-10-11 03:16:03 PM
Thanks mate!
curnblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-11 03:28:53 PM

caddisfly: Thanks mate!
[curnblog.files.wordpress.com image 850x555]


Eric Bana also ganked the other photo I posted^^ for Chopper movie promo pics / title pics.

i500.listal.com

// OK, so it prolly wasn't Eric Bana's idea to steal them
// I wonder who decided to add the sunnies?
 
2013-10-11 03:43:11 PM
Several feet of intestine?  Did the obituary end with a semicolon?
 
2013-10-11 04:06:52 PM
media.screened.com
 
2013-10-11 04:09:07 PM
Kinda sad; two of my main literary chars are a manic drug kingpin and his sadist of a standover man, so I always got a huge kick out of Chopper and all his exploits.  Probably the most entertaining enforcer the world will see for a few decades.
 
2013-10-11 05:37:27 PM
One look at that guy and you know that he was a brony.
 
2013-10-11 07:34:33 PM
Now THAT is a full life. I'm impressed.
 
2013-10-11 08:17:15 PM

Ambitwistor: Several feet of intestine?  Did the obituary end with a semicolon?


You've been waiting years for this setup, haven't you?
 
2013-10-11 08:57:23 PM

brap: I think I saw Several Feel of Intestine is the name of my Russell Crowe Tribute band.

It's a joke based on the actual name of Russell Crowe's band, look it up you will scream with laughter for four or five days.

- not really


Thank you for doing this so I didn't have to.

/Never mind that nobody should be doing a tribute to Russell Crowe in any way whatsoever.
 
2013-10-11 10:44:57 PM
No "Wild, Wild West" references?

You're slipping Farkers.

/leaves disappointed SMDH
 
2013-10-11 11:13:37 PM
Farkin' Chopper. Bastard was still laughing about the poor sods he tortured and murdered when he dies. Cancer was to good for him.
 
2013-10-12 12:48:25 AM

Jesus McSordid: Farkin' Chopper. Bastard was still laughing about the poor sods he tortured and murdered when he dies. Cancer was to good for him.


It's pretty well established that his victims numbered decidedly less than he often claimed.

Sure the guy was a violent sociopath but he was straight out of the violent sociopath factory. Sexually abused as a young boy, institutionalised as a child and as a young adult (by his mother, who could not accept his rejection of her religion) and then incarcerated and forced into a dog-eat-dog system of gang violence.

If you want people to behave like Chopper, treat them during their formitive years like he was treated and you've got a much increased chance of building a violent psycho.

He was a victim as much as his own victims were. But sure, single him out as the one you want to hate and empathise with others who were no better or worse. Dickhead.
 
2013-10-12 05:07:07 AM

Aussie_As: It's pretty well established that his victims numbered decidedly less than he often claimed.

Sure the guy was a violent sociopath but he was straight out of the violent sociopath factory. Sexually abused as a young boy, institutionalised as a child and as a young adult (by his mother, who could not accept his rejection of her religion) and then incarcerated and forced into a dog-eat-dog system of gang violence.

If you want people to behave like Chopper, treat them during their formitive years like he was treated and you've got a much increased chance of building a violent psycho.

He was a victim as much as his own victims were. But sure, single him out as the one you want to hate and empathise with others who were no better or worse. Dickhead.


The thing is that most of the others didn't go on to make a living by making morons laugh at exaggerated recollections of their violent pasts. And they weren't then eulogised by the media. That's what pisses me off.

Oh, and a lot of people manage to transcend abusive upbringings. Most of them manage at the least to avoid outright murder. But a lot of them do become sexual predators and paedophiles. It's a damned shame, but it's no cause to glorify them.

It's undoubtedly to Reid's credit that he stopped committing violent crimes, but it's a pretty rum sort of redemption to continue making money by laughing about his violent past. Cancer? It was a lot kinder than his treatment of many of his victims.
 
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