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(Huffington Post)   Ted Cruz calls birth control 'abortifacients,' demands government stop spread of Quarglaphians, mezzoozleflops and blagglecruncheons   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 253
    More: Dumbass, Sen. Ted Cruz, Quarglaphians, Values Voter Summit, birth control, humans, Republican Clubs, health insurance plans, bankrolls  
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4592 clicks; posted to Politics » on 11 Oct 2013 at 2:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



253 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-11 01:17:31 PM  
The Obama administration is trying to take my right to dictate to my employees what health care they can receive. This is so much tyranny I want to cry.
 
2013-10-11 01:27:03 PM  
Subby is aware that abortiofacient is a word, right?
 
2013-10-11 01:27:17 PM  
"Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
With my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"
 
2013-10-11 01:30:14 PM  
I also thought morning-after pills were abortifacients, now I'm just confused. If they delay ovulation, how can they be so consistently effective? Wouldn't they only work in cases where the woman has not yet ovulated?
 
2013-10-11 01:32:10 PM  

DamnYankees: Subby is aware that abortiofacient is a word, right?


Is it in the Canadian dictionary?
 
2013-10-11 01:35:22 PM  

nmrsnr: I also thought morning-after pills were abortifacients, now I'm just confused. If they delay ovulation, how can they be so consistently effective? Wouldn't they only work in cases where the woman has not yet ovulated?


They do not kill fertilized eggs, nor prevent implantation of the same.  It was thought that they might, but they are not shown to do that.  If a pregnant woman takes BCP or Plan B, she'll stay pregnant.  The whole Hobby Lobby flap where they're threatening to shut down the whole company "because they believe they're being required to fund abortions via birth control coverage" is horribly misguided, because they're betting the farm on something that is just hearsay and scientifically unproven if not completely invalid.
 
2013-10-11 01:48:14 PM  

DamnYankees: Subby is aware that abortiofacient is a word, right?


came here to say this.

also, "shut up, ted, you cock!"
 
2013-10-11 01:49:13 PM  
Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.
 
2013-10-11 01:53:11 PM  

DamnYankees: Subby is aware that abortiofacient is a word, right?


It's perfectly cromulent.
 
2013-10-11 01:58:47 PM  
Has he checked the highways recently? There are enough of us around already.
 
2013-10-11 02:10:05 PM  
boy, i can't wait to hear all the birthers go nuts over ted cruz when he runs for president. they'll go nuts, right? i mean, their hatred of obama couldn't possibly be just racial, right?
 
2013-10-11 02:13:39 PM  

miss diminutive: Has he checked the highways recently? There are enough of us around already.


No, they need more, MORE consumers/wage slaves.
 
2013-10-11 02:18:58 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.


Fool, haven't you heard? Life begins the moment the sperm hits the egg! That's right!

So when a woman's wall prevents the embedding, she's a filthy, sluttly, Nasty baby killer!
 
2013-10-11 02:20:12 PM  

MarshHawk: DamnYankees: Subby is aware that abortiofacient is a word, right?

Is it in the Canadian dictionary?


It is, but it's spelled "abourtiofacient".
 
2013-10-11 02:22:08 PM  
...and some reez-a-myzits, ha ha ha ha!
 
2013-10-11 02:23:11 PM  

DamnYankees: Subby is aware that abortiofacient is a word, right?


It isn't. But abortifacient, as it's spelled in the headline, is.
 
2013-10-11 02:23:43 PM  
And Cruz flibbed and flozzled,
He snoozled and snozzled,
"Oh Obamacare, you torment me so,
with your healthy people, and insurance to go"
he screamed and he hollered,
"I MUST GET OBAMACARE COLLARED"

With a scream and a shout,
Cruz ran in the night,
and ran further right,
till he was just outta sight,

"look! LOOK!" he said,
"I was right all along!
He kidnapped me,
and put me in this thong!"

"Oh Cruz, dear Cruz..."
Boehner sighed between gulps
"What have you done?
flazzoling and squabbling, my son,"

Cruz was brought to tears,
And worried and feared,
That one day, maybe soon...
His ass will be branded and seared
 
2013-10-11 02:23:54 PM  
Take off you hoser!
 
2013-10-11 02:24:29 PM  

impaler: The Obama administration is trying to take my right to dictate to my employees what health care they can receive. This is so much tyranny I want to cry.


This is not true.   No employer cares what plan their employee buys.

Now, if the employer is paying for it, that might be different.
 
2013-10-11 02:24:59 PM  
If he doesn't say " So mote it be" afterwards it doesn't count.
 
2013-10-11 02:25:25 PM  

Coco LaFemme: I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old. How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?


Once he blows his load, his job's done.  After that it's her problem.  All he has to do is legislate and regulate it.
 
2013-10-11 02:25:56 PM  

fruitloop: MarshHawk: DamnYankees: Subby is aware that abortiofacient is a word, right?

Is it in the Canadian dictionary?

It is, but it's spelled "abourtiofacient".


LMAO.
 
2013-10-11 02:26:53 PM  
All of those things sound terrifying! I demand an assault rifle for protection!

And a pony!
 
2013-10-11 02:27:10 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.


I get the feeling that science isn't exactly big with this crowd.
 
2013-10-11 02:27:15 PM  
So is he saying the employers should get to choose which procedures or medications their employees can have access too?
 
2013-10-11 02:27:27 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: impaler: The Obama administration is trying to take my right to dictate to my employees what health care they can receive. This is so much tyranny I want to cry.

This is not true.   No employer cares what plan their employee buys.

Now, if the employer is paying for it, that might be different.


What right does an employer have to dictate what is or isn't acceptable for their employes to have included in their healthcare plan based on nothing more than the scribblings of bronze age mystics?
 
2013-10-11 02:27:42 PM  

nmrsnr: I also thought morning-after pills were abortifacients, now I'm just confused. If they delay ovulation, how can they be so consistently effective? Wouldn't they only work in cases where the woman has not yet ovulated?


Conception usually (always?) happens just after ovulation, but sometimes days after intercourse (sperm can just chill out in there for a few days). There's a recent (NSFW) ohjoysextoy dot com [NSFW] comic explaining this very thing about the morning-after pill.

And it does indeed only work if ovulation hasn't yet happened.

So (IIRC) if you're gonna get pregnant from a screwing, it's likely you haven't yet ovulated, so blocking the ovulation keeps the conception from happening.
 
2013-10-11 02:28:57 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.


This may be an urban legend; I don't have a uterus, so it's all secondhand info to me. But, from what I understand, the morning after pill is basically the same as taking a week's worth of "the pill" in one dose. So yes, technically, birth control is an abortifacient in the same way that bacon is poisonous.

My understanding, though, is that normal month-long courses of BC are expensive enough that you wouldn't necessarily want to use them that way. Especially if you have a cranky system and have to take a more expensive non-generic formulation.

But needs must when the devil drives, so to speak.

And since babies come out of there, I'm pretty sure fundies think it's a portal to god. That's why they're really picky about who has access to one and how they're used.
 
2013-10-11 02:29:52 PM  

Weaver95: Coco LaFemme: Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.

I get the feeling that science isn't exactly big with this crowd.


Who needs science when you can "feel" something is true?
 
2013-10-11 02:29:55 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: blocking the ovulation keeps the conception from happening


I should add, just like "ordinary" birth control pills, and IIRC the morning-after pill is basically a big dose of the same stuff. So it tricks your body into thinking you're already pregnant, so your ovaries don't bother ovulating.
 
2013-10-11 02:30:20 PM  

Nutsac_Jim: impaler: The Obama administration is trying to take my right to dictate to my employees what health care they can receive. This is so much tyranny I want to cry.

This is not true.   No employer cares what plan their employee buys.

Now, if the employer is paying for it, that might be different.


The employer shouldn't be able to dictate what is covered by an insurance plan. They can choose to have insurance or not. They can choose what deductibles, copays, and premium they feel suit their needs the best.

What they shouldn't be able to do is dictate was procedures and/or medications are provided by a given plan just because it doesn't gel with some personal belief. What if the owner is an anit-vax nut? Should they be allowed to provide an insurance plan that doesn't cover vaccines?
 
2013-10-11 02:30:32 PM  

FlashHarry: boy, i can't wait to hear all the birthers go nuts over ted cruz when he runs for president. they'll go nuts, right? i mean, their hatred of obama couldn't possibly be just racial, right?


Well, not Just racial. He is also a Democrat.

Just like the Democrats irrationally think the House is now full of terrorists holeing the country hostage.

Nobody is immune to indulging in stupid rhetoric.
 
2013-10-11 02:30:51 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.


Shh! Do you want the Republicans to invent a new way to criminalize birth control by labeling it 'Pregnancy Fraud'? At least them thinking it's abortion means it's protected under Roe v Wade.
 
2013-10-11 02:30:52 PM  
He must really hate Quadrophenia.
 
2013-10-11 02:31:23 PM  

dv-ous: Coco LaFemme: Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.

This may be an urban legend; I don't have a uterus, so it's all secondhand info to me. But, from what I understand, the morning after pill is basically the same as taking a week's worth of "the pill" in one dose. So yes, technically, birth control is an abortifacient in the same way that bacon is poisonous.

My understanding, though, is that normal month-long courses of BC are expensive enough that you wouldn't necessarily want to use them that way. Especially if you have a cranky system and have to take a more expensive non-generic formulation.

But needs must when the devil drives, so to speak.

And since babies come out of there, I'm pretty sure fundies think it's a portal to god. That's why they're really picky about who has access to one and how they're used.


Addendum - it's an abortifacient, at least if you think the morning after pill is an abortion. (Is a fertilized egg a pregnancy, or does it have to implant in the uterine lining first?)
 
2013-10-11 02:31:53 PM  

dv-ous: So yes, technically, birth control is an abortifacient in the same way that bacon is poisonous.


If hormonal birth control is an abortifacient, then so is anything that prevents sperm from meeting egg, including:

- Condoms
- Pulling out
- Abstinence
- Ugliness
- Pregnancy
 
2013-10-11 02:32:02 PM  
Hippity wippity

Oxiborick

Flappity flippity

Saragashum

Thip,

Thap,

Thoo.

Thumbleby stumbleby

Ipsifendus

Rambleby rumbleby

Quoggenzocker;

Hip,

Hop,

Hoo.

/Not too obscure, I hope
//Poor Neville, dying of ennui
 
2013-10-11 02:32:26 PM  

Tricky Chicken: All of those things sound terrifying! I demand an assault rifle for protection!

And a pony!



i.crackedcdn.com
 
2013-10-11 02:33:16 PM  

dv-ous: Addendum - it's an abortifacient, at least if you think the morning after pill is an abortion. (Is a fertilized egg a pregnancy, or does it have to implant in the uterine lining first?)


I thought the morning after pill worked by suppressing ovulation, so there's no fertilized egg to prevent from implanting.
 
2013-10-11 02:33:16 PM  
This is what I don't get about these religious wing-nuts. If you're deeply against abortion, wouldn't you be against unplanned pregnancies.
 
2013-10-11 02:33:17 PM  
FTA: "Hobby Lobby is one of several religious-owned businesses currently suing the administration over its requirement that most employers include contraception coverage in their health insurance plans."


I think I see the problem.
 
2013-10-11 02:33:46 PM  
Unless I'm missing something, subby needs a dictionary.

/or a mod corrected subby's headline?
 
2013-10-11 02:35:02 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Birth control doesn't cause abortions.  An abortion is the termination of an existing pregnancy.  Hormonal birth control tricks the woman's body into thinking its already pregnant.  As in, there is no actual pregnancy, but the woman's body behaves like there is.  This is how it prevents pregnancy.

I learned that when I was in the 8th farking grade, when I was 13 years old.  How can a man who I presume has a wife and children, know fark-all about women's reproduction?  Maybe they think the vagina is a portal to hell or something, and thus they want to know as little about what goes on inside of it as possible.


Get it of here with your 'logic'
 
2013-10-11 02:35:06 PM  
Setting aside Cruz's misunderstanding about what birth control actually does...

Christian owned businesses are providing a salary for their employees, part of which comes in the form of health insurance.  At that point, what the employees do with the coverage is their own damn business, just like what they do with the money portion of their paychecks is their own damn business.  Should businesses be allowed to pay for services in grocery gift cards only, lest their employees go out buy porn, or drugs, or an abortion with cash?  How about in scipts to the company store, so they know exactly what products employees can spend "their" paychecks on?  This shiat is just ridiculous - just because you work for a company, it doesn't mean they get to control your life.
 
2013-10-11 02:35:23 PM  
As a Republican-voting Texan, let me say say this:

Cruz, shut the fark up.  You are an embarrassment to the state and the office once occupied by Kay Bailey Hutchinson.  You are an arrogant, narcissistic ass.  Your only positive attribute is your ability to get elected.  You and Maxine Waters represent the 2 greatest indictments of the 2-party system in that once you're in, the only way to bet you out is for Beelzebub to decide that it time to harvest your soul.  Please retire to a cushy lobbying job.  There will be plenty of interns to fondle there, too.
 
2013-10-11 02:35:30 PM  
In what is not-so-breaking news:
A verbose torrent from Ted Cruz!
With nauseating antics
(Say, do you need ChantixTM?)
No wonder GOP's got the blues!
 
2013-10-11 02:35:31 PM  

Need_MindBleach: This is what I don't get about these religious wing-nuts. If you're deeply against abortion, wouldn't you be against unplanned pregnancies.


They are against unplanned pregnancies. In their world view, you just shouldn't have sex if you don't want a baby. After-all, it's God's will if you get pregnant after sex.
 
2013-10-11 02:35:48 PM  
Shiat like this makes me want to just never hear or read or see another thing about Congress ever again in my life. Seriously...I feel sick to my stomach.

/that might be because I'm eating crappy cafeteria food right now, though
 
2013-10-11 02:36:30 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: dv-ous: So yes, technically, birth control is an abortifacient in the same way that bacon is poisonous.

If hormonal birth control is an abortifacient, then so is anything that prevents sperm from meeting egg, including:

- Condoms
- Pulling out
- Abstinence
- Ugliness
- Pregnancy


One of the saddest things my mom ever told me was that she was trying to use the rhythm method and instead my brother was conceived.
 
2013-10-11 02:36:46 PM  

Need_MindBleach: This is what I don't get about these religious wing-nuts. If you're deeply against abortion, wouldn't you be against unplanned pregnancies.


Religious people don't need their beliefs to be consistent, or else they wouldn't be religious.

More seriously, the real motivator is often punishing women for having sex.

The way to tell: does the person support allowing abortion of rape babies? If abortion is murder, one should NOT allow such abortions; the baby can't help the circumstances of its conception. If it's about punishing sluts, those abortions could be allowed, since such women don't need to be punished.

/or you could try to take both positions, as some GOPers have done, by claiming rape babies just don't happen
 
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