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(Lehigh Valley Live)   Whomever took the strawberry jello out of the break room fridge, the police would like a word with you   (lehighvalleylive.com) divider line 77
    More: Stupid, gelatins, Photo of the Day  
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8670 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2013 at 12:57 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-11 01:00:27 PM
"Whoever", you illiterate git.
 
2013-10-11 01:00:37 PM
Allentown isn't even quite Pennsyltucky sadly.
 
2013-10-11 01:00:46 PM
Do you have any idea how long it takes me to produce enough semen to make Jello with?
 
2013-10-11 01:01:03 PM
Subject-object.
 
2013-10-11 01:01:57 PM
www.mmanews.pl
 
2013-10-11 01:06:12 PM
www.screeninsults.com

Oblig
 
2013-10-11 01:06:30 PM
It was probably the janitor, Milos.
 
2013-10-11 01:08:58 PM
It wasn't strawberry jello.

It was an agar solution in a petri dish.

You've contaminated the sample, but more importantly, the sample has contaminated you.  You should seek medical assistance immediately.
 
2013-10-11 01:13:52 PM
i.qkme.me

Someone actually called police over this?
 
2013-10-11 01:16:49 PM
This is serious business. About a year ago, co-worker bought a tub of cookie dough from me that I was selling for my son's football team fundraiser. She stored it in one of the company fridges and forgot to take it home that night. The next day she says that she remembered to get the cookie dough from the fridge before she left because she was having company and she wanted to bake them. Got home, opened the tub and discovered that someone had stolen a giant scoop of cookie dough before closing the tub and re-tying the bag it was in. Cookie dough. She told security about it the next day and they were supposed to be taking a look at the cameras to discover the culprit but eventually apathy ruled the day and no action was taken. I was a little upset about it because I wanted to see the footage.
 
2013-10-11 01:21:41 PM
I support the calling of police in this case. I have never been a victim of this, but seriously, dude? What kind of skid-mark do you have to be to older co-workers lunches?
 
2013-10-11 01:21:41 PM
White people problems...
 
2013-10-11 01:22:41 PM
Well I'm starving here in Allentown,
Because my Jello was stolen by a douche bag clown,
And I hope that lunchroom thief dies todayyyyyyyyyyayyayaayayayayayayayyayayyayayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

And I'm starving here in Allentown.
 
2013-10-11 01:24:53 PM
stealing is serious bidness
 
2013-10-11 01:26:13 PM
Not only did this warrant a call to police, it warranted a news story, which was then posted to Fark.

Our reign has gone on long enough. Summon the meteors.
tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-11 01:26:49 PM
This is why I make a point of having coworkers witness me licking all my food containers.
 
2013-10-11 01:27:18 PM
It was stolen out of a refrigerator at a company that runs supermarkets. THEY COULDN'T FIND FOOD ELSEWHERE?
 
2013-10-11 01:28:21 PM

chewy7097: White people problems...


Fat people problems
 
2013-10-11 01:29:20 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: This is serious business. About a year ago, co-worker bought a tub of cookie dough from me that I was selling for my son's football team fundraiser. She stored it in one of the company fridges and forgot to take it home that night. The next day she says that she remembered to get the cookie dough from the fridge before she left because she was having company and she wanted to bake them. Got home, opened the tub and discovered that someone had stolen a giant scoop of cookie dough before closing the tub and re-tying the bag it was in. Cookie dough. She told security about it the next day and they were supposed to be taking a look at the cameras to discover the culprit but eventually apathy ruled the day and no action was taken. I was a little upset about it because I wanted to see the footage.


a couple years ago, I had a brand new package of bologna in our fridge at work.  I went back to the break room, opened the package and made myself a sandwich.

About 10 minutes later I decided that one sandwich was not cutting it and went back to make another.  In the 10 minutes it took me to eat that sandwich and return to make another, some jackwad had stolen over half the package of bologna and just put it back in the fridge.

bastard.
 
2013-10-11 01:33:31 PM
I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take, within reason.  I showed up this morning and the 15+ that I had in the bowl when I left yesterday were gone, leaving a completely empty bowl.  Damn vultures.
 
2013-10-11 01:33:45 PM
SWAT teams, road blocks and suspension of habeas corpus, NOW!  If this isn't solved fast it is going to be an Emmy win episode of Law & Order:Break Room
 
2013-10-11 01:35:44 PM

boyvoyeur: chewy7097: White people problems...

Fat people problems


Definitely not fat people problems.  I'm a fat people and I NEVER leave food laying around unguarded. Besides that, everybody knows not to fark with a fat person's food - it never ends well.
 
2013-10-11 01:37:21 PM
Anyone who is hungry is welcome to my office.

We have home-baked chocolate chip cookies, pizza, salad, shortbread cookies, pumpkin pie and hot apple cider here.

/had a salad and iz sad
 
2013-10-11 01:38:21 PM
He should have called Bill Cosby.
 
2013-10-11 01:40:45 PM
We had a food thief at work. One with a sweet tooth.  So an individual who was tired of having their shiat stolen made a chocolate cake just laced with laxatives.

Found out real damned fast it was some chick in our marketing that was doing it. She was a complete and utter biatch too.


/got fired about a week later for being at least a full two minutes late. Poor Baby.
 
2013-10-11 01:42:16 PM

Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take


well, there's your problem.  Don't leave free candy out and then get pissed when people take the free candy.
 
2013-10-11 01:42:24 PM

Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take, within reason.  I showed up this morning and the 15+ that I had in the bowl when I left yesterday were gone, leaving a completely empty bowl.  Damn vultures.


I have a candy bowl on my desk. You should see the clowns who go to great lengths to grab more than one. And everybody's got a story to tell.

"I should have eaten breakfast this morning." *fake laughter*
"These things are so good. They're irresistable"  *fake laughter*
"I'm always over here in your candy dish. I'm going to bring a bag of candy to re-fill it.  *she says for the third time in four weeks*


Look, its farking free candy. I don't eat the stuff, so you're not hurting me when you at it. It's just less for the next guy. But, do you have to be such a greedy little bastard?  Its there for everybody to enjoy.
 
2013-10-11 01:43:00 PM

IronOcelot: So an individual who was tired of having their shiat stolen made a chocolate cake just laced with laxatives.


poisoning people is a great way to go to prison.
 
2013-10-11 01:43:19 PM
Hello, sir. I am investigating the case of who took the strawberry Jello. Yes sir. But it's a crime and I gotta chase down every lead. My brother in law said "You know? Some day they are gonna send you out on the most ridiculous case and your gonna regret becoming a police inspector." Well, what do you know, that stupid brother in law was right for once.

Now this strawberry jello, here. Did you see it before it was stolen? You know. Can you verify it was there. You can? Good. That makes this a little easier with the corroboration. Makes it harder too. Can't just go back to the guy and say "We think you just imagined bringing the jello in to work, buddy. Maybe you forgot it at home and it's sitting on a counter all melted." But you say it was there. That's corroboration. Now we gotta investigate.

Just curious. Do you think there's real strawberry in strawberry jello? I'm just wonderin' cause you can get strawberry jello any time but you can only get fresh strawberries a coupla months a year, you know? The wife likes 'em. She likes 'em in a pie. I dunno. Chocolate pie. That's fer me, you know sir? I can get that pretty much anywhere. Even at the corner store. They have them all folded up in crust neat like.

Oh yeah. The strawberry jello. When do you think it was last seen? You say you saw it at 10 am? That's interestin' sir. If you don't mind me asking, what were you doing in the fridge at 10 am? Oh you store sodas in there? That makes sense. If I bring my lunch to work, you know? I toss it in there at 7 am and don't give it a second thought until 11 or 12. I don't really have to worry. It's usually liverwurst and a pear. No one's gonna take that. The pear's usually a little soft. Don't tell the wife but I just toss it. The pear, sir. Not the sandwich. I like liverwurst. What can you say? They gotta make that stuff for someone.

So you say you went to the fridge and you got yourself a soda, right? That's odd cause I didn't see any sodas in the fridge, you know? Leftovers mostly. There's some stuff that in the back. Doesn't look like it's been touched since Desert Storm. You guys should clean out your fridge. At the police station, we have a chore chart. Every Friday, everything gets tossed and Monday it all starts over, sir. Maybe you should try that here.

So where was I? Oh year. You got a soda but there wasn't any more soda in the fridge. You say that it was you last can, sir? Of course. I should have thought of that. Strange that you'd run out of soda in the middle of the week but I'm sure you'll bring more in tomorrow, right? Of course. Well, I should get going. Got to talk to the ladies in Accounting.

Just one more thing sir. Do you recycle? I only ask that because the wife is on me to recycle everything. Can't throw an empty beer can in the trash. Coming from her, you'd imagine it would destroy the planet. One can, right? You do recycle? You use that one outside your office? Of course you do. Drink the soda and pitch it right outside the office. No reason to go down the hall just to save the planet, right sir?

Only thing is, they empty those things out first thing in the morning sir. And the one outside your office was empty, so you couldn't have gone to the fridge at ten am and gotten a soda, right sir? You went and you got the strawberry jello. Didn't you sir. Yeah. I thought so. I figured it out the moment I saw the empty jello container in your trash can. Also, I saw you get the jello out of the fridge on the closed circuit camera the have hidden in the breakroom.

Please come with me sir. I gotta take you downtown. But actually, I plan on shooting you when you try to escape. Naw. Naw. I just like shooting people. that's why I became a cop.
 
2013-10-11 01:45:09 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take, within reason.  I showed up this morning and the 15+ that I had in the bowl when I left yesterday were gone, leaving a completely empty bowl.  Damn vultures.

I have a candy bowl on my desk. You should see the clowns who go to great lengths to grab more than one. And everybody's got a story to tell.

"I should have eaten breakfast this morning." *fake laughter*
"These things are so good. They're irresistable"  *fake laughter*
"I'm always over here in your candy dish. I'm going to bring a bag of candy to re-fill it.  *she says for the third time in four weeks*


Look, its farking free candy. I don't eat the stuff, so you're not hurting me when you at it. It's just less for the next guy. But, do you have to be such a greedy little bastard?  Its there for everybody to enjoy.


once again, I don't get it.  if you leave free candy out, EXPECT people to take it.

if you don't want people taking FREE CANDY then don't provide it.
 
2013-10-11 01:45:54 PM

Harry Freakstorm: Hello, sir. I am investigating the case of who took the strawberry Jello. Yes sir. But it's a crime and I gotta chase down every lead. My brother in law said "You know? Some day they are gonna send you out on the most ridiculous case and your gonna regret becoming a police inspector." Well, what do you know, that stupid brother in law was right for once.

Now this strawberry jello, here. Did you see it before it was stolen? You know. Can you verify it was there. You can? Good. That makes this a little easier with the corroboration. Makes it harder too. Can't just go back to the guy and say "We think you just imagined bringing the jello in to work, buddy. Maybe you forgot it at home and it's sitting on a counter all melted." But you say it was there. That's corroboration. Now we gotta investigate.

Just curious. Do you think there's real strawberry in strawberry jello? I'm just wonderin' cause you can get strawberry jello any time but you can only get fresh strawberries a coupla months a year, you know? The wife likes 'em. She likes 'em in a pie. I dunno. Chocolate pie. That's fer me, you know sir? I can get that pretty much anywhere. Even at the corner store. They have them all folded up in crust neat like.

Oh yeah. The strawberry jello. When do you think it was last seen? You say you saw it at 10 am? That's interestin' sir. If you don't mind me asking, what were you doing in the fridge at 10 am? Oh you store sodas in there? That makes sense. If I bring my lunch to work, you know? I toss it in there at 7 am and don't give it a second thought until 11 or 12. I don't really have to worry. It's usually liverwurst and a pear. No one's gonna take that. The pear's usually a little soft. Don't tell the wife but I just toss it. The pear, sir. Not the sandwich. I like liverwurst. What can you say? They gotta make that stuff for someone.

So you say you went to the fridge and you got yourself a soda, right? That's odd cause I didn ...


TL, DR
 
2013-10-11 01:47:33 PM

frepnog: once again, I don't get it


And you never will.
 
2013-10-11 01:49:01 PM
www.nytmare.org
 
2013-10-11 01:49:30 PM

Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take, within reason.  I showed up this morning and the 15+ that I had in the bowl when I left yesterday were gone, leaving a completely empty bowl.  Damn vultures.


I confess.  I used to be the first one at work just so I could go through every candy bowl in the business and scoop up a few.  Never take too many and if the bowl was low, I'd move on.  Dump 'em in the drawer for future use.

Once in a while, I would loudly complain to some in the cube farm "I bet those cleaning people are eating all the candy.  I left a Clark bar on my desk yesterday and this morning, it's gone.  It wasn't near the trash and it didn't look trash like.  I bet they took it and ate it."  That was enough rant to keep the candy providers guessing as to who was pilfering their stuff.
 
2013-10-11 01:52:45 PM

frepnog: Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take

well, there's your problem.  Don't leave free candy out and then get pissed when people take the free candy.


Oh I get that, my major gripe is that I am almost sure it is one person who has been coming by and grabbing handfuls out of the bowl.  The free candy is there to be eaten, just show some damn respect for everyone else.
 
2013-10-11 01:57:06 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: This is serious business. About a year ago, co-worker bought a tub of cookie dough from me that I was selling for my son's football team fundraiser. She stored it in one of the company fridges and forgot to take it home that night. The next day she says that she remembered to get the cookie dough from the fridge before she left because she was having company and she wanted to bake them. Got home, opened the tub and discovered that someone had stolen a giant scoop of cookie dough before closing the tub and re-tying the bag it was in. Cookie dough. She told security about it the next day and they were supposed to be taking a look at the cameras to discover the culprit but eventually apathy ruled the day and no action was taken. I was a little upset about it because I wanted to see the footage.


I used to run physical security at a company of about 400 people.  The inane shiat that would get reported never failed to amaze me.  Shiat I couldn't care less about if I tried, and that cookie dough story, not to mention the jackass in TFA, are textbook examples.  Then again, a twunt that worked in our NOC had someone bump into her car in the parking lot.  So the next day she points a parking lot pan and tilt at her car and leaves it zoomed in all day.  Which happened to be the day someone found an awl stabbed into their car tire and we would likely have had it on camera but NoOOooOOOoOOoo.

My job was originally running network security but the guys that got tagged with handling physical security got sick of the bullshiat and convinced my execs that "security is security and they should run it all."  I gotta admit it was fun to make turn people's badges off at random and watch them try to get in some doors.  My boss caught on pretty quick to that and then did it to his boss.  Good times.
 
2013-10-11 01:59:11 PM
Here's what you do.  Bring in some food, let someone steal it, make sure it's in a very recognizable package.  The day after that, on the refrigerator you leave pictures of horrible things (use your imagination) being done to the food during its preparation.
 
2013-10-11 01:59:49 PM

frepnog: DROxINxTHExWIND: Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take, within reason.  I showed up this morning and the 15+ that I had in the bowl when I left yesterday were gone, leaving a completely empty bowl.  Damn vultures.

I have a candy bowl on my desk. You should see the clowns who go to great lengths to grab more than one. And everybody's got a story to tell.

"I should have eaten breakfast this morning." *fake laughter*
"These things are so good. They're irresistable"  *fake laughter*
"I'm always over here in your candy dish. I'm going to bring a bag of candy to re-fill it.  *she says for the third time in four weeks*


Look, its farking free candy. I don't eat the stuff, so you're not hurting me when you at it. It's just less for the next guy. But, do you have to be such a greedy little bastard?  Its there for everybody to enjoy.

once again, I don't get it.  if you leave free candy out, EXPECT people to take it.

if you don't want people taking FREE CANDY then don't provide it.


Yeah, as its been stated, its not that they tke the free candy. It's that they take ALL of the free candy without regard for thir fellow co-workers.


/You sound like the kind of guy who would wait until I go to a meeting so you could come to my office and rummage through the bowl, picking out all of the red jolly ranchers and the mini-Snickers.  :-)
 
2013-10-11 01:59:55 PM

uncleacid: He should have called Bill Cosby.


In mexico, ed mcmahon is the jell-o spokesman, and it's pronounced "Hey-O"
 
2013-10-11 02:04:05 PM

frepnog: IronOcelot: So an individual who was tired of having their shiat stolen made a chocolate cake just laced with laxatives.

poisoning people is a great way to go to prison.


It's not "poisoning people" if people do it to themselves.

/it wasn't her food he put laxatives in
 
2013-10-11 02:06:09 PM

Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take, within reason.  I showed up this morning and the 15+ that I had in the bowl when I left yesterday were gone, leaving a completely empty bowl.  Damn vultures.


At my job when there's catering for an afternoon client meeting, there's usually enough food left over for whoever is working in the office to share. And people know there will be food left over, but I was always surprised at how often people would walk past the meeting rooms waiting for the clients to leave so that the food can be grabbed. And once word did get out the food was available, it was like watching a riot at a food kitchen. And this is at a financial company, not like people couldn't afford to buy their own meals every day.

If the luncheon had any type of chicken strips (usually for salads) some lady would bring a Tupperware container with her and scoop up most of the chicken. Other people would nibble on a sandwich and if they didn't like it would leave the uneaten portion with the other sandwiches.
 
2013-10-11 02:08:58 PM

ArcadianRefugee: It's not "poisoning people" if people do it to themselves.

/it wasn't her food he put laxatives in


I suspect a jury of his peers might disagree with that PoV
 
2013-10-11 02:09:11 PM
The people who cherry-pick flavors of a certain candy are the worst type of people in the world.  Avoid them at all costs, it's been shown that most of these people are kiddie diddlers.
 
2013-10-11 02:09:49 PM

Literally Addicted: ArcadianRefugee: It's not "poisoning people" if people do it to themselves.

/it wasn't her food he put laxatives in

I suspect a jury of his peers might disagree with that PoV


Since when are laxatives a poison?  Maybe the person who made the cake was constipated.
 
2013-10-11 02:11:11 PM

CrazyCracka420: The people who cherry-pick flavors of a certain candy are the worst type of people in the world.  Avoid them at all costs, it's been shown that most of these people are kiddie diddlers.


Hey! It's not my fault only the red, yellow and orange jujubes taste good.

/blech on the black & green ones
//yes, I am a candy bigot
 
2013-10-11 02:11:52 PM
Insulated lunch bag, cold pack, desk drawer. Problem solved. I have NEVER had food stolen.

Why would I want to share nasty communal fridge space with the mouth breathers at my office, anyway? Some of those people don't wash their hands. I wouldn't want them pawing my bag, even if they didn't steal anything.
 
2013-10-11 02:18:49 PM

CrazyCracka420: Literally Addicted: ArcadianRefugee: It's not "poisoning people" if people do it to themselves.

/it wasn't her food he put laxatives in

I suspect a jury of his peers might disagree with that PoV

Since when are laxatives a poison?  Maybe the person who made the cake was constipated.


and I am telling you that if it went to court, the person that made the laced cake would be found liable.  You can't go around leaving poisoned food out and then claim "BUT IT WASN'T THEIRS!".  The cake was made with ill intent - the intend to poison someone.

DROxINxTHExWIND: Yeah, as its been stated, its not that they tke the free candy. It's that they take ALL of the free candy without regard for thir fellow co-workers.


/You sound like the kind of guy who would wait until I go to a meeting so you could come to my office and rummage through the bowl, picking out all of the red jolly ranchers and the mini-Snickers. :-)


Oh, I understand the point of view.  It is just that we all know how people are.  You leave candy out and make it clear that anyone is free to take it, and it is getting taken.  It reminds me of a certain site that I am a member of that allows people to download files.  People get pissed because few people take the time to leave a "thanks" to the point that they get ANGRY and refuse to upload further files - and I tell them that "you put it up here for people to take, why get mad when people take what you give?"  yes people are greedy - BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS.  Getting mad about it is a waste.  If I put free stuff out, I just expect it to be taken.  ya, that ass in accounting takes all the Snickers.  Be quicker if you want one.
 
2013-10-11 02:20:21 PM

Lorax: Insulated lunch bag, cold pack, desk drawer. Problem solved. I have NEVER had food stolen.


second drawer, blue bag, usually has Funyuns right?

;-)
 
2013-10-11 02:22:21 PM

skinink: Goldstien Sachs: I had a bowl of mini Reeses peanut butter cups on my desk for anyone to take, within reason.  I showed up this morning and the 15+ that I had in the bowl when I left yesterday were gone, leaving a completely empty bowl.  Damn vultures.

At my job when there's catering for an afternoon client meeting, there's usually enough food left over for whoever is working in the office to share. And people know there will be food left over, but I was always surprised at how often people would walk past the meeting rooms waiting for the clients to leave so that the food can be grabbed. And once word did get out the food was available, it was like watching a riot at a food kitchen. And this is at a financial company, not like people couldn't afford to buy their own meals every day.

If the luncheon had any type of chicken strips (usually for salads) some lady would bring a Tupperware container with her and scoop up most of the chicken. Other people would nibble on a sandwich and if they didn't like it would leave the uneaten portion with the other sandwiches.


It is exactly like that at my office.

sign of the bad economy.
 
2013-10-11 02:22:55 PM

Harry Freakstorm: Hello, sir. I am investigating the case of who took the strawberry Jello. Yes sir. But it's a crime and I gotta chase down every lead. My brother in law said "You know? Some day they are gonna send you out on the most ridiculous case and your gonna regret becoming a police inspector." Well, what do you know, that stupid brother in law was right for once.



Actually it seems police take stolen food pretty seriously:

Cop caught in police sting over food stolen from break room

An officer was snared in a sting that police in Deer Park set up to catch a break room thief.
Surveillance cameras caught the officer repeatedly stealing colleagues' food and drinks from the refrigerator in the police station's break room.
Deer Park police Officer Kevin Yang was charged with misdemeanor theft and suspended for 30 days without pay.
 
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