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(Talking Points Memo)   The GOP has become some kind of imbecile Captain Kirk, reprogramming the Congressional Kobayashi Maru, but only end up with a Kobayashi Moran. Please, proceed   (talkingpointsmemo.com) divider line 40
    More: Obvious, GOP, White House, Louise Slaughter, House Republicans, Chris Van Hollen, House Budget Committee, proceedings, United States House Committee on Rules  
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1265 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 Oct 2013 at 2:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-10 01:48:59 PM  
With less than two hours to midnight and shutdown, Speaker John Boehner's latest plan emerged. House Republicans would "insist" on their latest spending bill, including the anti-Obamacare provision, and request a conference with the Senate to resolve the two chambers' differences.

Under normal House rules, according to House Democrats, once that bill had been rejected again by the Senate, then any member of the House could have made a motion to vote on the Senate's bill. Such a motion would have been what is called "privileged" and entitled to a vote of the full House. At that point, Democrats say, they could have joined with moderate Republicans in approving the motion and then in passing the clean Senate bill, averting a shutdown.

But previously, House Republicans had made a small but hugely consequential move to block them from doing it.

...

"I said you were correct. We took it away," Sessions said, "and the reason why is because we want to go to conference."


Seriously, fark these people.
 
2013-10-10 02:04:41 PM  
i219.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-10 02:12:24 PM  
Ok, Kobiyashi Moran. That made me laugh.
 
2013-10-10 02:20:26 PM  
Doesn't matter. The GOP will still insist they didn't cause the shutdown, and the zealots will believe them.
 
2013-10-10 02:20:53 PM  
More like they took a true or false question on a bubble-sheet quiz and somehow managed to turn it into the Kobayashi Maru scenario...
 
2013-10-10 02:24:13 PM  
I remember that episode, it's when Kirk beat a computer in a hotdog eating contest.
 
2013-10-10 02:25:02 PM  
Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.
 
2013-10-10 02:28:06 PM  

EngineerAU: Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.


T'Potato
 
2013-10-10 02:30:24 PM  

dogdaze: [i219.photobucket.com image 600x463]


What the heck.  That sci-fi poster has the right picture and name for the quote.  Someone messed up.
 
2013-10-10 02:32:34 PM  
Thanks Obama.
 
2013-10-10 02:36:03 PM  
Imagine a Republican horse racetrack.  You bet on #3 to win, you see him charge out of the gate, he wins by a length, the official review it, the photograph shows it, the result board confirms it, and when you go to collect your winnings, the man behind the counter tells you that #4 won.  #3 finished last.  You tell him there must be a mistake, if he would just turn around and look at the result board...

"WHY WON'T YOU COMPROMISE?!?"
 
2013-10-10 02:38:10 PM  

SilentStrider: Ok, Kobiyashi Moran. That made me laugh.


Certainly hope that was intentional...
 
2013-10-10 02:39:44 PM  

Best Princess Celestia: Certainly hope that was intentional...


Yes it was...

/subtard
 
2013-10-10 02:41:43 PM  
Gotta love the "all-lose situation."
 
2013-10-10 02:42:32 PM  

Atillathepun: EngineerAU: Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.

T'Potato


Thread over.
 
2013-10-10 02:43:53 PM  

Atillathepun: EngineerAU: Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.

T'Potato


Suffering from Pon Farrtbongo
 
2013-10-10 02:44:13 PM  

Atillathepun: EngineerAU: Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.

T'Potato


Do you know how painful it is to have peanut butter, saltine, and cherry coke attempt to enter your nose simultaneously?
 
2013-10-10 02:44:17 PM  
Boehner: Obama, you bloodsucker. You're going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me? Do you?
Obama: John? You're still alive, my old friend?
Boehner: Still, "old friend!" You've managed to kill everyone else, but like a poor drinker, you keep pouring Crystal Palace!
Obama: Perhaps I no longer need to try, Boehner.
[signs the ACA into law]
Boehner: Obama... Obama, you've got Obamacare, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me, Obama. You're going to have to come down here. You're going to have to come down here!
Obama: I've done far worse than kill you, Speaker. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a derp planet.. buried alive! Buried alive...!
Boehner: OBAAAAAMMMMAAAA!
 
2013-10-10 02:45:19 PM  
Kirk: Using guile, charm and wit to infiltrate and reprogram a test scenario because he didn't believe in no win situations.

GOP: Burns Starfleet Academy to the ground, pronounce how they masterfully planned it months ago, blame the Vulcans for the arson, claim geniusshiphood.
 
2013-10-10 02:47:16 PM  
Actually, this is probably better.
Obama: [hailing Kruz] This is President Obama. We tried it once your way, Kruz, are you game for a rematch? Kruz, I'm laughing at the "superior intellect."
Kruz: Full impulse power!
Boehner: No! You cut them back to sequester funding! You can have whatever...
Kruz: [grabs Boehner in anger] FULL POWER! DAMN YOU!
 
2013-10-10 02:48:49 PM  

t3knomanser: Boehner: Obama, you bloodsucker. You're going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me? Do you?
Obama: John? You're still alive, my old friend?
Boehner: Still, "old friend!" You've managed to kill everyone else, but like a poor drinker, you keep pouring Crystal Palace!
Obama: Perhaps I no longer need to try, Boehner.
[signs the ACA into law]
Boehner: Obama... Obama, you've got Obamacare, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me, Obama. You're going to have to come down here. You're going to have to come down here!
Obama: I've done far worse than kill you, Speaker. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a derp planet.. buried alive! Buried alive...!
Boehner: OBAAAAAMMMMAAAA!


moviecitynews.com
 
2013-10-10 02:53:39 PM  

UNC_Samurai: Atillathepun: EngineerAU: Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.

T'Potato

Do you know how painful it is to have peanut butter, saltine, and cherry coke attempt to enter your nose simultaneously?


I believe that would result in saltorum
 
2013-10-10 03:10:58 PM  

Atillathepun: UNC_Samurai: Atillathepun: EngineerAU: Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.

T'Potato

Do you know how painful it is to have peanut butter, saltine, and cherry coke attempt to enter your nose simultaneously?

I believe that would result in saltorum


holy shiat
 
2013-10-10 03:16:20 PM  
well...I just can't add anything to this XD
 
2013-10-10 03:45:58 PM  

Serious Black: Doesn't matter. The GOP will still insist they didn't cause the shutdown, and the zealots mainstream media will believe them.


FTFY
 
2013-10-10 03:50:37 PM  
Yet, this is Obama and the Democrats' shutdown (or slimdown, if you're extra special retarded).
 
2013-10-10 03:51:20 PM  
Definite HOTY candidate. Thanks for the laugh markie_farkie and glad you thought to dredge this from that other thread.
 
2013-10-10 04:10:30 PM  

FlashHarry: Serious Black: Doesn't matter. The GOP will still insist they didn't cause the shutdown, and the zealots mainstream media will believe them.

FTFY


I think either way fits. The zealots implicitly believe what their party's leaders say, and the media propagates it so some non-zealots start to believe it as well.
 
2013-10-10 05:03:59 PM  
"I said you were correct. We took it away," Sessions said, "and the reason why is because we want to go to conference."

SO STOP BLOCKING THE SENATE'S ATTEMPTS TO GO TO CONFERENCE
 
2013-10-10 05:32:01 PM  
Hmm... IANAL but this looks like a cause of action.  Could a furloughed employee sue the House for violating Article one by diminishing their representative's power in the house?
 
2013-10-10 05:45:44 PM  

haemaker: Hmm... IANAL but this looks like a cause of action.  Could a furloughed employee sue the House for violating Article one by diminishing their representative's power in the house?


Article I, Section 5, Clause 2:

Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.
 
2013-10-10 06:02:39 PM  

Larry Mahnken: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.


so, theoretically, the "silent majority" of moderate republicans could join with the dems and expel the entire tea party caucus! heh!
 
2013-10-10 06:22:43 PM  

FlashHarry: Larry Mahnken: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.

so, theoretically, the "silent majority" of moderate republicans could join with the dems and expel the entire tea party caucus! heh!


Except that would make Pelosi Speaker until a new election was held in the districts of expelled members.
 
2013-10-10 07:48:00 PM  
So more zap brannigan and less james t. Kirk subby?
 
2013-10-10 07:52:25 PM  

ikanreed: dogdaze: [i219.photobucket.com image 600x463]

What the heck.  That sci-fi poster has the right picture and name for the quote.  Someone messed up.


Uh, that wasn't Chris Pine

/ducks
 
2013-10-11 01:05:24 AM  

t3knomanser: Actually, this is probably better.
Obama: [hailing Kruz] This is President Obama. We tried it once your way, Kruz, are you game for a rematch? Kruz, I'm laughing at the "superior intellect."
Kruz: Full impulse power!
Boehner: No! You cut them back to sequester funding! You can have whatever...
Kruz: [grabs Boehner in anger] FULL POWER! DAMN YOU!


Biden: He is intelligent, but inexperienced. His pattern suggests two-dimensional thinking.
 
x23
2013-10-11 08:55:27 AM  

t3knomanser: Actually, this is probably better.
Obama: [hailing Kruz] This is President Obama. We tried it once your way, Kruz, are you game for a rematch? Kruz, I'm laughing at the "superior intellect."
Kruz: Full impulse power!
Boehner: No! You cut them back to sequester funding! You can have whatever...
Kruz: [grabs Boehner in anger] FULL POWER! DAMN YOU!



it's spelled Kruge.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net

/or Cruz...
 
2013-10-11 02:10:03 PM  
"Logic suggests that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few..."

"...Or the one percent."
 
2013-10-11 03:09:01 PM  

Atillathepun: EngineerAU: Hope this doesn't mean Michelle Bachman is Saavik.

T'Potato


HA!
well played
your FARK id is oddly apropos
 
2013-10-11 03:21:19 PM  
Boehner: This is the Speaker of the House. Our respect for our donors requires that we give you this... warning. One critical item of information that has never been incorporated into the any party platform. Since the early 1990s, Republicans have had incorporated into them a substance known as... Newt-o-mite. It is a material and a device which prevents attack on us. If any Progressive Legislation touches us, a reverse reaction of equal strength is created, destroying -...
Obama(voice): You now have two days.
Boehner:
-DESTROYING the attacker. It may interest you to know that since the initial use Newt-o-mite two  decades ago, no attacking Democrat has survived the attempt. Death has... little meaning to us. If it has none to you then attack us now. We grow annoyed at your foolishness.
 
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