If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   This just in: scientists are assholes   (io9.com) divider line 69
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

12668 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2013 at 1:06 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-10-10 01:07:14 PM
The entire apparatus was then vibrated up and down.
 
2013-10-10 01:07:27 PM
I'm pretty sure that's in the preamble to the Republican Party platform.
 
2013-10-10 01:10:29 PM
I don't want to live in a world where fake-punching a kitten makes me an asshole.
 
2013-10-10 01:11:03 PM
It's a cat. 15 bucks gets you one on any corner in breeding season.
 
2013-10-10 01:12:59 PM
i20.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-10 01:15:12 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

Monroe: It's a special isolation chamber. The subject pulls levers to receive food and water. The floor can become electrified, and showers of icy water randomly fall on the subject. I call it... The Monroe Box!

Grampa: Uh huh. Sounds interesting. How much will it cost to build?

Monroe: Oh, that's the beauty part! It's already built! I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box until the age of thirty.

Grampa: What are you trying to prove?

Monroe: Well, my theory is that the subject will be socially maladjusted and will harbor a deep resentment towards me.

Grampa: Mm. Interesting.
 
2013-10-10 01:18:03 PM
We here at Flamethrower Development Laboratories believe in humane treatment of test subjects. That's why each kitten receives a teeny-tiny pair of widdle sunglasses before we begin experimentation.
 
2013-10-10 01:18:31 PM
blog.eternalvigilance.me
 
2013-10-10 01:20:25 PM

Yogimus: It's a cat. 15 bucks gets you one on any corner in breeding season.


I once visited the lab of a guy doing robotics research for spinal chord victims. They would cut cats open and implant chips in their spinal columns and wouldn't fully close them up but used binder clips instead. He built the robotic arms that would move the cat's legs while they measured the nervous feedback. He said that they lost a few cats simply because they weren't exactly surgeons and were kind of just winging that portion of their research. But they were on the leading edge of their field and are helping many people have a way better quality of life.
 
2013-10-10 01:20:35 PM
So, nerds, this is what it has come to.  Because i was mean to you in high school, you harbored that deep resentment throughout your academic career, and now, finally, you get back at me by going after my kitten.
 
2013-10-10 01:24:16 PM
img.pandawhale.com
 
2013-10-10 01:25:01 PM
Are the physiologies of cats so close to humans that experiments like this yeild anything worthwhile?

Not to go all Joseph Mengela on everyone, but there are perfectly good humans on death row that could be used for experminents.  I wonder why we don't make better use of them.  Or maybe just narrow it down to pedophile sex offenders.
 
2013-10-10 01:25:26 PM
autophiliac.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-10 01:25:41 PM
i43.tinypic.com

/Sooooo doesn't approve.
 
2013-10-10 01:26:14 PM
I kind of want one Of those immobile kittens.
 
2013-10-10 01:27:54 PM
I could post pictures of incredibly evil feline torture going on at the average university, but it would probably get me banned.
 
jvl
2013-10-10 01:28:28 PM
As long as he donated the cats to the local soup kitchen afterwards, I don't see a problem.
 
2013-10-10 01:31:59 PM
So that's the grumpy cat origin story!
 
2013-10-10 01:33:56 PM
Those scientists are assholes...
 
2013-10-10 01:34:03 PM
When the Fark Caturday Contingent sees this there is going to be hell to pay.
 
2013-10-10 01:34:34 PM
I want an immobile kitten to go along with my bonsai kitten.
 
2013-10-10 01:35:03 PM
If this doesn't convince you, read up about Mengele, or read this:
img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk
/yeah, I'm a scientist
 
2013-10-10 01:36:48 PM
particularly operation paperclip scientists


/the biggest assholes
 
2013-10-10 01:39:23 PM
So what results were they going for that justifies animal torture?

/fark those "scientists"
 
2013-10-10 01:44:10 PM
Immobile Kitten would make a decent band name...
 
2013-10-10 01:47:53 PM
i09 - amazing news from 50 years ago!
 
2013-10-10 01:48:28 PM
The described study was done back in the 60's.  We're more enlightened now.  Or not . . .  http://www.uwnotinourname.org/.
 
2013-10-10 01:51:43 PM
*click*
*sees pic of kitten with heading "Two Kitten Experiment"*
*clicks away*
 
2013-10-10 01:54:00 PM
Of course, the objection here is that the animals being used are kittens, which is half the reason why anything larger than a hamster has stricter rules about the work you can do with it. The fact that this was all done without any injections or surgery to the animals means that it was incredibly gentle compared to most lab animal research.

I wonder if they could have used mice for this experiment.

Russ1642: Yogimus: It's a cat. 15 bucks gets you one on any corner in breeding season.

I once visited the lab of a guy doing robotics research for spinal chord victims. They would cut cats open and implant chips in their spinal columns and wouldn't fully close them up but used binder clips instead. He built the robotic arms that would move the cat's legs while they measured the nervous feedback. He said that they lost a few cats simply because they weren't exactly surgeons and were kind of just winging that portion of their research. But they were on the leading edge of their field and are helping many people have a way better quality of life.


That university's IRB is not doing their job.
 
2013-10-10 02:01:24 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: [blog.eternalvigilance.me image 500x391]


... No one has mentioned religion yet.

Russ1642: Yogimus: It's a cat. 15 bucks gets you one on any corner in breeding season.

I once visited the lab of a guy doing robotics research for spinal chord victims. They would cut cats open and implant chips in their spinal columns and wouldn't fully close them up but used binder clips instead. He built the robotic arms that would move the cat's legs while they measured the nervous feedback. He said that they lost a few cats simply because they weren't exactly surgeons and were kind of just winging that portion of their research. But they were on the leading edge of their field and are helping many people have a way better quality of life.


This is either bullshiat, or, as someone else said, that University's IRB board is being criminally negligent. There are *rules* when you use animals in experiments. One of the rules is that YOU KNOW WHAT THE fark YOU ARE DOING.

fark, purely discarding ethics, if they're just 'winging' the surgery part, THEIR RESULTS ARE PROBABLY USELESS. Since they don't know exactly what they're doing (And they are losing cats because they are using 'binder clips'), then they likely aren't operating on every cat in the same way, which means they have no good control, no good thing to compare against, etc.

How do they know they're installing the chip the same way each time? How are they accounting for improper healing? Etc etc.
 
2013-10-10 02:01:26 PM
I think this is the same lab that commercialized some of their research on the Bonsai Kitten website:

http://bonsaikitten.com/bnw.html
 
2013-10-10 02:01:42 PM

spunkymunky: I kind of want one Of those immobile kittens.


TFA has instructions for DIY.
 
2013-10-10 02:02:48 PM
This just in, Science no longer exists.
 
2013-10-10 02:04:03 PM
What if they were Evil Kittens?
 
2013-10-10 02:06:35 PM
i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-10 02:08:02 PM

J. Frank Parnell: I could post pictures of incredibly evil feline torture going on at the average university, but it would probably get me banned.


Co-ed dormitory pussy torture? I think I saw that movie.
 
2013-10-10 02:08:57 PM
Am I the only one who's ok with that experiment? I was expecting electroshock and stuff. The kitten even fully recovered at the end.

I do believe The same experiment on human babies would be wrong, and in fact worst has been done using babies.
 
2013-10-10 02:11:15 PM

talkertopc: The kitten even fully recovered at the end.


"Still, the Immobile Kittens never became visually normal. Their time in the dark, and without the ability to work with the world around them, left a permanent mark on them."
 
2013-10-10 02:17:32 PM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-10-10 02:17:43 PM

Great_Milenko: Monroe: Well, my theory is that the subject will be socially maladjusted and will harbor a deep resentment towards me.

Grampa: Mm. Interesting.


Only if it knows who you are.
 
2013-10-10 02:19:21 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: [i236.photobucket.com image 236x297]


chair, keyboard, etc.
 
2013-10-10 02:31:51 PM
Why doesn't scientists do study and tests on themselves. All these so called tests just seem to be bored scientists trying to think of dumb things to test. It reminds me of middle school when we would do dumb things just to see what would happen.  I thought these "scientists" have deegrees and years of schooling. But I guess with all of that, they would still rather do dumb things.  Hey all of these Scientists, if you get bored just read Fark, don't go traumatizing innocent little kittens. Well at least in your next life you will be one of those kittens (or worse a frog) who gets tested on for so called "science."   Oh, wait I forgot your "scientists" you don't believe in this stuff.
 
2013-10-10 02:36:15 PM
In terms of horrific animal experiments, this is about a 1 of 10.
 
2013-10-10 02:41:22 PM
Yep, animal research is a thing. More at 11.

We have a pressing need to understand living things. Hence, we have a pressing need to experiment on living things. Those are the stakes.

durbnpoisn: Are the physiologies of cats so close to humans that experiments like this yeild anything worthwhile?


Cats are used in many studies, often because they're readily available. Animal control shelters euthanize gobs and gobs of cats every year. This way some of them can go to a good purpose instead of starving and dying on the street.
 
2013-10-10 02:51:43 PM
They are assholes because...why?

Was it because they didn't let a hungry Chinese family eat the leftovers?
 
2013-10-10 03:04:44 PM

Fubini: Cats are used in many studies, often because they're readily available. Animal control shelters euthanize gobs and gobs of cats every year. This way some of them can go to a good purpose instead of starving and dying on the street.


As long as you are a robot with zero empathy for living things that makes perfect sense.

There's also lots of old people just going to waste in retirement homes which could be tortured in experiments.
 
2013-10-10 03:17:03 PM

Jclark666: The entire apparatus was then vibrated up and down.


Nice Ministry reference.
Assuming that's what you were going for.
 
2013-10-10 03:38:00 PM
Sacramento, CA - From preventing polio to finding cures for cancer patients, animal research has saved countless lives.

Using animals in research is a concern to some; however, the benefits derived from the ethical, humane use of laboratory animals for biomedical research are huge. Nearly every major medical breakthrough in the last 100 years has been achieved by research with animals.

"These animals are heroes. Their contribution to discovering life-saving advancements in medicine and science-for both pets and humans-is enormous," said Jon Klingborg, DVM, president of the California Veterinary Medical Association (CVMA). "Thanks to the last century of animal research, we have achieved life-saving treatments for people and animals. As veterinarians, we are able to treat more ailments and prevent more diseases, and that allows us to keep our pets living longer and healthier."

Without animal research, millions of dogs, cats, birds, and farm animals would be dead from more than 200 diseases, including anthrax, distemper, rabies, feline leukemia, and canine parvo virus, according to Americans for Medical Progress (AMP), a nonprofit group that supports the responsible and humane use of animals in biomedical research. Today, those diseases are largely preventable, thanks to vaccines and treatments developed in animal research.

In human terms, research with animals has led to vaccinations against smallpox, measles, mumps, diphtheria, and tetanus; development of anesthesia, antibiotics, and insulin; use of cardiac pacemakers and heart bypass surgery; surgical advancements for organ transplants, hip replacements, and cataract surgery; and treatments for a host of diseases, including diabetes, multiple sclerosis, AIDS, and children's leukemia.

The CVMA supports the use of animal research when conducted in a responsible, humane manner for medical and scientific research where there are no non-animal alternatives. Federal law requires that animal testing be conducted before most clinical trials involving people are allowed.

Research animals are protected by a host of state, federal, and international laws. It is estimated that less than half-a-percent of research animals are dogs, cats, and primates. According to AMP, more than 95 percent of research animals are rats and mice bred for research studies.

In California, the American Association for Laboratory Animal Science promotes the safe and humane treatment of research animals in hospitals, universities, and research centers statewide. Its Northern California chapter has more than 800 members, including veterinarians, researchers, and educators.

"Looking back at what has been accomplished makes us even more hopeful that animal research will continue to yield life-saving treatments for ourselves and our pets," said Dr. Klingborg.

For more information on the benefits of animal research, contact Phil Boerner at the CVMA
 
2013-10-10 03:42:36 PM

hstein3: That university's IRB is not doing their job.


IRB is strictly for human subjects.   The IACUC (Institutional animal care and use committee) covers animal experimentation.
 
2013-10-10 03:46:11 PM
How was the immobile kitten unable to move itself if its paws were touching the ground?  Perhaps I'm missing something here...

/genuine curiosity...
 
Displayed 50 of 69 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report