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(YouTube)   How to get any woman interested in you with a really creepy handshake   (youtube.com) divider line 46
    More: Unlikely, handshakes  
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5660 clicks; posted to Video » on 10 Oct 2013 at 11:52 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-10 11:06:45 AM  
Oh look, she's a stonecutter too!

i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-10-10 12:03:41 PM  
What's the old joke about how aliens have sex? Or take a dump?
 
2013-10-10 12:04:57 PM  
If you thought my handshake was sensually charged, how would you like to shake hands with a baby holding an apple? i253.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-10 12:04:59 PM  
Jackie, I've never heard that name before
 
2013-10-10 12:09:05 PM  
I just got out of my annual performance review (I am "Acheiving") and I did that with my boss at the end.  Holy crap did he give me the weirdest look, so I know it works!
 
2013-10-10 12:11:44 PM  

Seat's Taken: I just got out of my annual performance review (I am "Acheiving") and I did that with my boss at the end.  Holy crap did he give me the weirdest look, so I know it works!


Did you 'achieve' a pay raise?
 
2013-10-10 12:20:07 PM  

Kygz: Seat's Taken: I just got out of my annual performance review (I am "Acheiving") and I did that with my boss at the end.  Holy crap did he give me the weirdest look, so I know it works!

Did you 'achieve' a pay raise?


I don't get that info until later, but I'm hoping my achieving is getting me an increase in my raise from 3.0 % to 3.4 % like it did last year!  I really need that extra $12/year.

/Was seriously told once that I did so good that year that I was bumped up an additional 0.4%
//dammit I realize now I spelling failed originally
///obligatory 3rd slashie
 
2013-10-10 12:34:01 PM  
And while you're holding her hand, subtlety slip the handcuffs on to her wrist.
 
2013-10-10 12:48:45 PM  
Douches gonna douche.
 
2013-10-10 12:56:29 PM  
Well, shes hot.
 
2013-10-10 01:05:03 PM  
What really makes it special is if you scratch your nuts just before. Really plants a memorable scent on the whole hand shake thing.
 
2013-10-10 01:12:28 PM  
Is it the creepy hoodie with the creepy beanie hat and the creepy unshaved and over trimmed and greasy  look or the creepy accent that makes the creepy handshake seem insignificant ?
 
2013-10-10 01:24:25 PM  

thesubliminalman: Is it the creepy hoodie with the creepy beanie hat and the creepy unshaved and over trimmed and greasy  look or the creepy accent that makes the creepy handshake seem insignificant ?


When I am dressed like that, I find it works better to grasp the hand with a vice-like grip while staring into their eyes an inch from their faces while shrieking incomprehensible jibberish and shaking my head back and forth violently.
 
2013-10-10 01:29:25 PM  
Or palm her a fifty.
 
2013-10-10 01:30:13 PM  
did any of those involve stroking their palm with your middle finger?
 
2013-10-10 01:39:04 PM  
I usually spit in my palm first.  Try it.  Guaranteed to make her remember you and tell all of her friends.
 
2013-10-10 01:53:19 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
My favorite pick up line.
 
2013-10-10 01:58:15 PM  

Mentat: And while you're holding her hand, subtlety slip the handcuffs on to her wrist.


Close the thread and turn off the lights, we're done here.
 
2013-10-10 02:14:01 PM  
"We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way I'd like to hear it."
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-10 02:23:47 PM  

Unoriginal_Username: did any of those involve stroking their palm with your middle finger?


If a chick finds you attractive, that one actually works.

It is a gamble, but it can pay off.
 
2013-10-10 02:52:29 PM  
I guess dressing like Jesse Pinkman must be the new style.
 
2013-10-10 02:59:31 PM  
Why?  Why do you move the arm?  Whhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy?

Am totally trying this out this weekend
 
2013-10-10 03:12:59 PM  

thesubliminalman: Is it the creepy hoodie with the creepy beanie hat and the creepy unshaved and over trimmed and greasy  look or the creepy accent that makes the creepy handshake seem insignificant ?


He has an accent though, so I bet plenty of women immediately reclassify "dressing like a shiatbird" up to "very well groomed and stylish within his culture, how special!"
 
2013-10-10 03:14:12 PM  
076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-10-10 03:19:52 PM  
 
2013-10-10 03:32:44 PM  

diaphoresis: [076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcd n .com image 720x368]


Well he had been folled before.
 
2013-10-10 03:44:07 PM  

jonjr215: Still my favorite...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mMRY2N6s2I


I liked it, but I enjoy the fresh prince.
 
2013-10-10 03:45:24 PM  
No, don't just keep holding her hand. Clasp her hand, shake it, and as you continue the conversation, you're supposed to gradually push down with your hand, forcing her to step closer and closer to you. Works every time.
 
2013-10-10 04:12:33 PM  
I usually use the Rex Kwon Do method:

assets.sbnation.com

Break the wrist, walk away
 
2013-10-10 04:49:21 PM  
Holding onto the hand too long is even worse than holding onto it too short.   3 shakes and you're out.
 
2013-10-10 04:59:53 PM  

T.rex: Holding onto the hand too long is even worse than holding onto it too short.   3 shakes and you're out.


Ah yes, the "men's room urinal" rule of handshakes. More than 3 shakes and you're just playing with it.
 
2013-10-10 05:08:20 PM  

RoyBatty: What's the old joke about how aliens have sex? Or take a dump?


LMFAO I've done that alien joke quite a few times in the bar hopping day... (and it worked quite a few times, too)
 
2013-10-10 05:23:29 PM  
Sweet.  Now tell me one simple rule to get rid of belly fat.
 
2013-10-10 05:47:38 PM  
I prefer the cold, dead fish handshake.
 
2013-10-10 06:11:17 PM  
Indian Chris Angel pick up lines
 
2013-10-10 06:21:38 PM  
That guy looks like a junkie. I bet the only type of girl who would even talk to him would be another junkie.
 
2013-10-10 07:37:18 PM  
That is only the method to tell if the girl wants to be paired with you. Not a way to make her want to.

She won't let you hold her hand for any time if she didn't like your looks.

By the time you get that close she already decided whether you will get lucky or not.
 
2013-10-10 08:20:35 PM  
content7.flixster.com
"Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?"
 
2013-10-10 08:21:22 PM  
That guy is an amateur,  this is the best creepy way to get girls interested in you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D40R3Z0OsNE
 
2013-10-10 10:00:29 PM  
 
2013-10-10 10:24:03 PM  
I imagine it works better if you're Tom Brady.
 
2013-10-10 11:54:34 PM  
Or... there's always the "just be a normal person" approach.

That way you don't have to remember a bunch of pointless body movements and other crap that makes absolutely no difference whatsoever to any woman, other than to make her think you're a creepy dork.

Just sayin.
 
2013-10-11 11:36:59 AM  
Old guys do that to my wife all the time and she thinks it's creepy.
 
2013-10-11 01:50:40 PM  

NashMcNash: Old guys do that to my wife all the time and she thinks it's creepy.


Tell her I apologize for creeping her out but I'm not going to quit doing it either
 
2013-10-11 02:01:58 PM  

relaxitsjustme: NashMcNash: Old guys do that to my wife all the time and she thinks it's creepy.

Tell her I apologize for creeping her out but I'm not going to quit doing it either


First the "over the hill" story and now this - you are hilarious.
 
2013-10-11 08:12:52 PM  

Atomic Spunk: relaxitsjustme: NashMcNash: Old guys do that to my wife all the time and she thinks it's creepy.

Tell her I apologize for creeping her out but I'm not going to quit doing it either

First the "over the hill" story and now this - you are hilarious.


Thanks, I've been drinking heavily the past couple of days.
 
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