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(Deadline)   Nothing is sacred: NBC is remaking Remington Steele...as a sitcom   (deadline.com ) divider line
    More: Fail, Remington Steele, NBC, Ruben Fleischer, sitcoms, Pierce Brosnan, humans, Family-friendliness, Gangster Squad  
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1784 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Oct 2013 at 7:52 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-09 07:57:27 PM  
Correct me if I'm wrong - like you wouldn't - but don't 1/2-hour sitcoms usually revolve around 4-5 standing sets? How do you do the detective angle, if you never leave the office...?
 
2013-10-09 07:57:38 PM  
At least my mother died before this travesty came about.
 
2013-10-09 07:57:50 PM  
Please dear sweet baby Jeebus, don't let this get past pilot.
 
2013-10-09 07:58:47 PM  
NBC is remaking Remington Steele-

WHY?!


as a sitc-

farm2.staticflickr.com
 
2013-10-09 07:59:02 PM  
My prediction: the pilot will get a 1.6 share, maybe break a million in viewers. Then NBC will either shelve the rest of the episodes or burn them off in whichever time slot needs filler.
 
2013-10-09 08:02:06 PM  
I'd have balled her zim, if you know what I mean.
 
2013-10-09 08:03:47 PM  

perigee: Correct me if I'm wrong - like you wouldn't - but don't 1/2-hour sitcoms usually revolve around 4-5 standing sets? How do you do the detective angle, if you never leave the office...?


There are generally two types of sitcoms. Three camera and one camera.

The three camera type was pioneered by Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez. It's what we think of when we think of sitcoms. You have a set, three cameras to catch different angles and a live studio audience.

The other type is one camera. These generally aren't filmed in front of an audience and offer a wider range of shot types. Arrested Development, Scrubs, Modern Family. Those type of sitcoms.
 
2013-10-09 08:05:10 PM  
So they're really making a remake of Moonlighting then?

/mmm, Cybill Shepard back in the day
 
2013-10-09 08:08:19 PM  
I found this while googling for Stephanie Zymbalist.  Thought I'd share.

www.youthlarge.com
 
2013-10-09 08:11:21 PM  

foo monkey: I found this while googling for Stephanie Zymbalist.  Thought I'd share.

[www.youthlarge.com image 228x288]



I'd gladly take Erin Gray in any century. Mmm,mmm, mmm.
 
2013-10-09 08:11:43 PM  
As a kid I had such a crush on Stephanie Zimbalist.

img105.imageshack.us
 
2013-10-09 08:20:00 PM  

foo monkey: I found this while googling for Stephanie Zymbalist.  Thought I'd share.

[www.youthlarge.com image 228x288]


good instincts
 
2013-10-09 08:22:16 PM  
What's the point of remaking an old show, especially if it's going to be completely different? Just give it a new name. Seems to me that your chances of failing are higher when people have preconceived expectations for a show.
 
2013-10-09 08:35:46 PM  
Wait, are you trying to imply that it wasn't a sitcom from the beginning?
 
2013-10-09 08:42:30 PM  
/That'sEnoughNBC.jpg
 
2013-10-09 08:43:02 PM  

Memoryalpha: Wait, are you trying to imply that it wasn't a sitcom from the beginning?


It was a blend of romantic comedy and police procedural that ran one hour.  It's considered a forerunner to modern TV dramas, because of how it mixed genres.  Cutting it to 30m, branding it a straight-up sit-com, and saying it's a re-make does the original series a disservice.
 
2013-10-09 08:46:04 PM  

perigee: Correct me if I'm wrong - like you wouldn't - but don't 1/2-hour sitcoms usually revolve around 4-5 standing sets? How do you do the detective angle, if you never leave the office...?


Really.  Barney Miller used real locations all over NYC.
 
2013-10-09 08:51:07 PM  
I never saw the original show but it prevented Brosnan from being in those shiatty Bond movies that Timothy Dalton wound up doing so there's that.
 
2013-10-09 09:03:37 PM  

foo monkey: Memoryalpha: Wait, are you trying to imply that it wasn't a sitcom from the beginning?

It was a blend of romantic comedy and police procedural that ran one hour.  It's considered a forerunner to modern TV dramas, because of how it mixed genres.  Cutting it to 30m, branding it a straight-up sit-com, and saying it's a re-make does the original series a disservice.


Saw it first run, had no choice, it was my mom and sisters favorite show.  As to it being considered anything, care to cite your source for that opinion?   Like a lot of late prime time (ie: after 8pm) shows during that period it tended to mix genres.  It certainly wasn't the first nor was it the only one that did.  I'm not trying to say it was welcome back kotter or the previously mentioned barney miller but it was quite often more comedy than not.  The only thing it didn't have was a laugh track.  If the new one gains one, that would indeed be a disservice but only because laugh tracks are always a disservice if not an outright insult to the audience as well as the program.
 
2013-10-09 09:12:07 PM  

fusillade762: As a kid I had such a crush on Stephanie Zimbalist.

[img105.imageshack.us image 640x480]


She needs a wee bit o' sammich.
 
2013-10-09 09:18:55 PM  

perigee: Correct me if I'm wrong - like you wouldn't - but don't 1/2-hour sitcoms usually revolve around 4-5 standing sets? How do you do the detective angle, if you never leave the office...?


Barney Miller tells you to drink Yemana's coffee.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-10-09 09:20:13 PM  
Shouldn't they reboot "Taxi" as a drama first? Rob Morrow as Alex, Paula Marshall as Elaine, Larry David as Reverend Jim, Freddie Prinze Jr. as Tony, Dave Chappelle as Latka, and Danny DeVito as Louie because who the fark else could play him?
 
2013-10-09 09:20:56 PM  

fusillade762: As a kid I had such a crush on Stephanie Zimbalist.


I'd hit it harder than a Mark VII stencil.
 
2013-10-09 09:30:17 PM  

jbc: Paula Marshall as Elaine


I have no idea what the rest of your post meant but  support Paula Marshall in anything.

edgeofthefringe.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-09 09:30:19 PM  
NBC is making a sitcom about a porn star?
bigromey.files.wordpress.com
That's weird.
 
2013-10-09 09:31:32 PM  
That theme song bears a striking resemblance to the He-Man theme song.
 
2013-10-09 09:34:14 PM  

dionysusaur: Really. Barney Miller used real locations all over NYC.


???

Maybe during the opening credits they did, but other than that the whole series took place in the squad-room and Barney's office.
 
2013-10-09 09:38:58 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: dionysusaur: Really. Barney Miller used real locations all over NYC.

???

Maybe during the opening credits they did, but other than that the whole series took place in the squad-room and Barney's office.


(That's the joke)
 
2013-10-09 09:40:01 PM  

Mugato: I never saw the original show but it prevented Brosnan from being in those shiatty Bond movies that Timothy Dalton wound up doing so there's that.


Instead, he did other shiatty Bond movies.

/Goldeneye wasn't bad
//the other gargle diseased donkey balls
 
2013-10-09 09:41:15 PM  

dionysusaur: (That's the joke)


Oh goddammit.
 
2013-10-09 09:43:32 PM  
They should reboot all the Sid & Marty Krofft stuff as documentaries. Get a couple guys like Marlin and Jim to do the setup and voice-overs. If you did it with 'The Land Of The Lost' you could probably have a lot of fun trolling the teabaggers.
 
2013-10-09 09:43:42 PM  
Cast Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski.  Maybe change the names and make the jobs more modern.  Start on season six and have Adam Baldwin play a prominent role...  Then yeah, I'd watch it.
 
2013-10-09 09:44:25 PM  

RatMaster999: Mugato: I never saw the original show but it prevented Brosnan from being in those shiatty Bond movies that Timothy Dalton wound up doing so there's that.

Instead, he did other shiatty Bond movies.

/Goldeneye wasn't bad
//the other gargle diseased donkey balls


GoldenEye was great. Tomorrow Never Dies was pretty good. The World is not Enough was also pretty good. Die Another Day was shiat.
 
2013-10-09 09:48:36 PM  
Pierce Brosnan hasn't been the same since the attack.
rs1064.pbsrc.com
 
2013-10-09 09:52:22 PM  

fusillade762: As a kid I had such a crush on Stephanie Zimbalist.

[img105.imageshack.us image 640x480]


*Sigh*  What once was.

img62.imageshack.us

In all fairness, she'd look a lot better without grandma hair.
 
2013-10-09 09:54:54 PM  

fusillade762: As a kid I had such a crush on Stephanie Zimbalist.

[img105.imageshack.us image 640x480]


She was more interested in her adoring female fans.
 
2013-10-09 10:09:10 PM  
It all makes sense now. Hollywood is taking the "new coke" approach to marketing..
 
2013-10-09 10:37:20 PM  
I wanted to be Laura Holt. I was 12.
 
2013-10-09 10:53:38 PM  

Oysterman: Cast Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski.  Maybe change the names and make the jobs more modern.  Start on season six and have Adam Baldwin play a prominent role...  Then yeah, I'd watch it.


Six seasons and a movie!
 
2013-10-09 11:52:05 PM  

perigee: Correct me if I'm wrong - like you wouldn't - but don't 1/2-hour sitcoms usually revolve around 4-5 standing sets? How do you do the detective angle, if you never leave the office...?


What was the name of Andy Richter's old detective show?
 
2013-10-10 12:46:29 AM  

Zombie DJ: perigee: Correct me if I'm wrong - like you wouldn't - but don't 1/2-hour sitcoms usually revolve around 4-5 standing sets? How do you do the detective angle, if you never leave the office...?

What was the name of Andy Richter's old detective show?


Andy Barker, P.I. Great show. It probably never would have lasted more than a season, but I wish it would have at least been picked up for more than the initial 6 episodes.
 
2013-10-10 01:07:41 AM  

Barricaded Gunman: dionysusaur: Really. Barney Miller used real locations all over NYC.

???

Maybe during the opening credits they did, but other than that the whole series took place in the squad-room and Barney's office.



Well, after the first season or two, anyway.

The first season had plenty of scenes in Barney's apartment - Barbara Barrie played Mrs. Miller.  And there were occasional scenes of the guys on a stakeout, or when then-new Detrich picked up Fish at his home one time.  And there was a scene Manhattan Central Booking when Barney was jailed for civil contempt for not ponying up his informant's name

Ironically, about the same time it became essentially a one-set stage show, they got rid of the studio audience.  They had to; tapings routinely went into the wee hours, with re-writes and different takes.   Will & Grace did a lot of that too, but to nowhere even remotely close to the dysfunction of a Barney Miller taping night.  The audience was so tired, bored, and pissed off by the end that the later scenes of any given episode were all canned-laughter anyway

.
 
2013-10-10 01:15:08 AM  
They should remake the documentary "Brother's Keeper" as a weekly hour long variety show / musical.
 
2013-10-10 01:18:36 AM  
Re-make Breaking Bad as a musical.
 
2013-10-10 01:20:31 AM  
21 Jump Street was remade as a comedy. And it turned out to be the funniest movie in years. Given NBC's track record (My Name Is Earl, The Office, Community, P&R, Chuck, 30 Rock), I will give them a chance.
 
2013-10-10 01:25:14 AM  
Stephanie Zimbalist was hot.. and I had a high school classmate that looked like a younger version of her.  Alas, nothing happened between us.
 
2013-10-10 01:25:47 AM  

farkingismybusiness: NBC is making a sitcom about a porn star?
[bigromey.files.wordpress.com image 200x269]
That's weird.


I had a similar thought, but could've done without the picture. I guess this is better than the other picture. Actually, this one's pretty disturbing. I can't decide.
 
2013-10-10 01:37:48 AM  
"Remington Steele," NBC said cheerfully as it ushered the well-aged show into the hallway.  "I have such exciting news, come, let me show you!"  Steele allowed itself to be ushered along by the old, somewhat eccentric network towards the staircase leading to the cellar.  NBC had been a landlord for it decades ago until their contract together came to an end, but it had not been an unpleasant relationship.  Things had ended pleasantly enough that when NBC called up with an unmistakeable excitement in its voice, Steele could hardly justify turning down the invitation.

Steele said, "I must admit I'm curious what has you so excited."  NBC kept its pace brisk as it led Steele down into the cellar, past some wine racks and dusty alcoves to a large metal door set into the wall.  Holding up an almost comically large ring of keys, the aging network picked through them until it found the right one, inserted it into the lock, and opened the door.  A glare of light shone out through the doorway, blocking clear sight to what was inside. "Go on," said NBC, "see for yourself."
Steele approached the door cautiously, not unwilling to admit it was a bit excited now too.  As it approached the single bulb hanging just inside the door things got brighter, then gradually started to resolve into silhouettes.  A shape presented itself, a wheelchair and a somewhat portly man sitting in it, triggering immediate recognition.  "Ironside," Steele exclaimed, "is that y--"

The words died on Remington Steele's lips as it crested the door way.  No, this most definitely was not its distant uncle Ironside, not such that any but the most twisted, simple mind would recognize as such.  Steele could see dim remnants of the older show underneath what was there, but the rest... the rest was awful.  Where Raymond Burr's ample yet intimidating face would be the flesh had been stripped away, badly, crudely, obvious damage being done to the bone and muscle underneath.  Atop it was affixed the face of an unfamiliar black man, fastened there in no consistent way.  Screws, nails, staples, tape, even what looked like weld marks, as though some sick mind had found a way to heat and melt flesh together, held the awful mixture of visages together unevenly, half rotated and not fully in place.  It was most noticeable at the bottom of the face, where the horrid hackjob had left black chin cross-stitched to bare bone and upper teeth, giving the face a quadruple chin with two mouths.

The rest of the body was no better.  The arms were uneven, one pudgy and unmuscled, the other overdeveloped, both rippling underneath with an uneven, almost tumerous look to them as the mangled show sat there, heaving ragged uneven breaths.  The body was disfigured with crudely grafted transplants and growths, secondary characters with ungainly backstories and half-concocted personalities sewn into the show's once logical, simple body haphazardly, arms and faces bulging disjointedly from the whole torso.  Where the navel should be there was instead a mouth, drawing in breaths of stock police procedural and belching out foul bursts of ill-placed tough-guy machismo alternating with poorly committed bursts of angst and sorrow that would completely fail to move any but the most drunk of viewers.

"My God," Steele said, hand moving to its mouth to stifle the wave of nausea forcing its way up its gullet, "what happened here?"  The younger show expected some reply from NBC, some assurance that this was a prank gone horribly wrong.  Instead it felt a harsh pinch at its neck and a liquid being injected.  Steele staggered away quickly, batting at the now-absent syringe as NBC laughed, watching Remington slam into a wall and lean there while its world started to go woozy.  "What happened?" NBC's voice rose in volume as it spoke, each word delivered like its own chapter in the fevered manifesto of a madman. "I made it better! I took what made Ironside good and added so much it became amazing!  More drama, and more comedy!  More toughenss and tenderness!  And not just appeal for one minority view group, no.  IT NOW APPEALS TO ALL MINORITY GROUPS AT ONCE, HANDICAPPED, ETHNIC, SEXUAL, ECONOMIC!  ISN'T IT MAGNIFICENT!!!"

Remington staggered against the wall, legs almost failing it, barely forcing itself to stand and move weakly for the door.  "You've... you've lost it... NBC.  Something went... went wrong I... don't... you... need help. I won't let you... do... this."  Steele's fingers grasped the edge of the doorframe, pulling it towards the opening, towards freedom.  NBC turned and said, "you have no choice, Remington Steele.  KNIGHT RIDER! SECURE HIM!"

Steele's vision was suddenly blocked by a towering hulk coming towards it, a shape it couldn't make out as it slammed into the drugged show, flinging it hard into the room, across the floor, to lie in a heap against the wall next to the wreck that was once Ironside.  It was shaken for a moment, unable to see.  When its vision came into focus again it looked up in time to watch the massive bulk that had bodyslammed it squeeze its way through the doorframe, so large it had to deform and push through like a bag of jello being shoved through a mail slot.  When it finally made it through and stood a whole new horror swept over Remington Steele.

Yet another fellow show of Steele's stood before it, its same-age nephew Knight Rider, but much like Ironside it was hardly recognizeable.  Bits of its original form showed through - the distinctive front grille with its LED, David Hasselhoff's unmistakeable tight-jean crotch - but scrambled, disjointed, held together by a nightmare of flesh, bone, and metal.  It was as though a Go-Bot had eaten Hasselhoff, turned itself inside out, attempted to vomit and then choked on the result.  All this interwoven with nearly a full ton of Val Kilmer's accumulated body fat contained in grim sacks of thinly-stretched flesh haphazardly melded and stapled to car parts and 80s perm.

"Sweet merciful lord no, please no," Steele said in a hoarse whisper, vainly trying to back away.  It waved its arm in front of it weakly... and then watched in horror as the flesh bent and flexed, splitting at the wrist, then the forearm, up to the elbow.  Before it knew it there was a second forearm joining the first, both attached to the elbow, but the second new one ending in a speaker playing low-brow fart jokes interspersed with a tired, warbling laugh track.  "You see," said NBC, "it's already started!  Soon you will be the most comedic comedy, the most dramatic drama!  You will appeal to all levels of laughs, all methods of invoking emotion!"  At the last NBC motioned to the undulating hulk that was once Knight Rider, and the beast closed in on Remington Steele.

"NO!" came a shout from next to Steele, twin voices, one burbling and breathy, the other forceful and strong.  The show turned to see Ironside's malformed arms reaching down to lock the wheels of its rusted, warped wheelchair before it shoved itself out of the chair with unbelievable speed, slamming into the approaching nightmare Knight Rider and knocking it back.  As it lept Steele could see more pairs of legs unfold and reveal themselves, seven in all, each crippled in a different way.

"THIS ENDS NOW!" Ironside screamed in its unsetting double voice, its muscular arm beating on the various car parts stuck to Knight Rider's body as its other held onto a particularly large chunk of flesh.  Dimly, somewhere inside the body of Knight Rider a car alarm started to go off.  As Steele watched in drugged horror a third, hidden arm unfolded from Ironside's spine and reached down between one of its many asses, pulling out a filthy syringe and flinging it towards the stunned Steele.  "Use this," Ironside shouted, "it's your only hope!  I was too late, I couldn't kill myself before my pilot was picked up, but maybe you can!"

"What is it?" Steele managed to choke out, his remaining normal arm reaching for it while the other flailed uncontrollably.  Somewhere in stomach he could feel a pouch growing, built to hold an awkward child sidekick who could appeal to working mothers while simultaneously justifying product placement of children's toys.

"It's the worst of everything on the big and little screen," Ironside yelled as NBC tried in vain to pull the two monstrosities apart. "Chuck Norris's cheesiness, Stephen Baldwin's born-again righteousness, Uwe Boll's plots, Paris Hilton's... uh... everything!  Even more!  It's all there!  No audience can stand that combined!  Not even a Nebraska Mall Focus Group!"

At the last word Knight Rider surged up, flinging Ironside off of it and against the far wall where it impacted like a pizza dropped from a skyscraper.  Steele's reservations melted when the beast then turned and began making its way to the slowly mutating show.  Without a thought Steele stabbed the syringe directly into its heart, depressing the plunger and releasing a full litre of Nielsen Box Poison into its veins.  As its mind began flooding with triple, quadruple twists and needless nippleshots of women built like a sack of antlers, as the darkness began slipping over its vision, Remington Steel prayed that it would be enough....
 
2013-10-10 01:42:30 AM  

DigitalCoffee: They should reboot all the Sid & Marty Krofft stuff as documentaries. Get a couple guys like Marlin and Jim to do the setup and voice-overs. If you did it with 'The Land Of The Lost' you could probably have a lot of fun trolling the teabaggers.


Since superheroes are all the rage these days I propose:

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-10-10 01:46:01 AM  

NorCalLos: farkingismybusiness: NBC is making a sitcom about a porn star?
[bigromey.files.wordpress.com image 200x269]
That's weird.

I had a similar thought, but could've done without the picture. I guess this is better than the other picture. Actually, this one's pretty disturbing. I can't decide.


I was a little worried about GIS'ing Steele's pic. But I feel the vinegar strokes pic was worth it.
i.imgur.com
 
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