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(Huffington Post)   Dear Americans: Your country is shutting down, your leaders are about to crash your economy and turn America into Mad Max times. Here are 16 reasons to move to Europe. What are you waiting for?   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 51
    More: Cool, Mad Max, Europeans, Americans, World Health Organization, Eurovision Song Contest, San Marino, American Love, united states ranked  
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12402 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2013 at 7:50 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-09 09:51:34 PM
7 votes:
th08.deviantart.net
2013-10-09 08:01:37 PM
6 votes:
I heard they were going to build a fence along the Canadian border consisting of metal pillars placed just far enough apart that only skinny people can get through. The catch is that the skinny Americans who get through will freeze to death due to lack of body fat.
2013-10-09 09:03:48 PM
5 votes:
Australia for me. If Mad Max times are coming, I'm going to do them properly.
2013-10-09 08:48:12 PM
5 votes:
I don't want to go to a place where dub step and techno beats are the national anthems
2013-10-09 08:01:53 PM
5 votes:
media.mlive.com
Hey. Lay off Detroit. Them people are going through Mad Max times.
2013-10-09 07:59:26 PM
5 votes:
I'm waiting for them to learn the proper type of football.

/Yes, I went there.
2013-10-09 09:27:49 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com

Anything to declare?

Yeah, don't go to England
2013-10-09 08:11:21 PM
4 votes:

AutumnWind: ISO15693: Forget Europe. I'm moving to New Zealand.

Giant bugs of horror. Not worth it!


They make them into a nutritious cereal called Wetabix.
2013-10-09 08:01:19 PM
3 votes:
I waitin' for 'em to learn english.

Except for you, UK... close enough.
2013-10-09 07:53:05 PM
3 votes:
Hell, I figure once subby leaves America will be just fine.
2013-10-09 08:56:35 PM
2 votes:
Ricardo Klement:
What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks one language? American.


Hey, I'm American and I speak two languages:  Metric and SAE...
2013-10-09 08:32:48 PM
2 votes:

FunkOut: The only problem with Finland is Finnish is pretty bloody difficult to learn compared to Swedish or Danish. It's like super fancy Elvish.


I didn't know Elvis spoke a fancy language?

/Was it French?
2013-10-09 08:04:40 PM
2 votes:
I'm sure most Europeans don't want me.  I'm not white.

Oh yeah, I pulled that race card.
2013-10-09 08:03:06 PM
2 votes:
Europe's more crowded.  I'd be ushered into Yankee slums and have to knife fight Muslims and Africans for a box of Mac 'n Cheese.
2013-10-09 07:59:58 PM
2 votes:
I'm going to move to Naples Italy and work the garbage barges...
2013-10-09 07:57:50 PM
2 votes:

akula: I note they left out the regularly scheduled ethnic cleansing they get over in Euroland. Every 50 years seems to be the cycle.


Well, that's how they keep the cities looking so clean.
2013-10-09 07:55:19 PM
2 votes:
I note they left out the regularly scheduled ethnic cleansing they get over in Euroland. Every 50 years seems to be the cycle.
2013-10-10 05:15:03 PM
1 votes:

The_Original_Roxtar: demaL-demaL-yeH: The_Original_Roxtar: Janusdog: I'm a pro-gun liberal but I see no reason to have anything but a shotgun. Point in the general direction and pull the trigger, and you'll probably hit it a little bit.

you know nothing about spread patterns.
if you're using small enough shot to "hit a little bit" while pointing int he "general direction", you're not going to do anything lethal to your target.
contrary to popular belief, you do need to aim with a shotgun.

This. So very much this. 


as for the benefit of shotgun vs pistol in a defensive situation, I can have 6 rounds with my 12 gauge or 12 rounds with my .40
the .40 is easier to get on target in close quarters.

Good on you, mate. It's the opposite of my experience, but good on you. (Are you using a goose or turkey barrel?)
/On the other hand, one round of double-ought has the same impact as four simultaneous rounds of .45ACP.

I have an 18" open "defender" barrel that I keep on the shotgun... it's loaded with 2 3/4" "multi-defense" shells. a .65 round ball followed by 6 #1 buckshot. what it comes down to for me is immediacy of the situation. if I have the time to get into a proper defensive position, I'll be leading with the shotgun and have the pistol as a backup (alarm goes off in the middle of the night). if I don't have time, I'm leading with the pistol because it's faster (bedroom door kicked in, no alarm).

think about this situation: you're lying in bed, which weapon can you bring to bear faster?


Were you actively masturbating while you typed that?
2013-10-10 02:58:20 PM
1 votes:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com 4.bp.blogspot.com

Mad Max Times...

//California Love
2013-10-10 05:39:43 AM
1 votes:

RightToWork: Miniature-sized consumer products, restaurants that charge for seating, bread, and water, lack of drinking fountains, pay bathrooms, tiny expensive living spaces, beggars and pickpockets, crazy taxes, graffiti everywhere, rude people - you have a blast with Europe, Subby, I'll somehow manage here in the U.S. with my multiple cars, comfortable house, friendly servers, and huge portions.


And 24-hour Wal-Marts, and things open on Sundays, and shooting ranges, and airports everywhere, and Cessnas, and Diamonds, and cheap big Honda bikes, and, and and. Merkins, just pretty please learn to make bread that actually tastes like bread and isn't a soggy piece of plasterboard (c'mon, you already learned beer) and we're good. I live in Germany, having a great time here, the only place I would swap it for at a moment's notice is big ol' Texas. Oh, and btw, good luck with 3-week waiting times for your already-paid-for health care - you pay it out of your own payroll, it ain't subsidized any more, not here in Düütschland, nein mein Herr!
2013-10-10 05:34:27 AM
1 votes:
Heh...to paraphrase P.J.O'Rourke:

"Europe?  Europe isn't big enough to park all our cars, let alone live there."
2013-10-10 03:41:18 AM
1 votes:
Sounds like subby/author has never been to the US. Or just sucks at life in the US
2013-10-10 02:41:49 AM
1 votes:

Secret Master of All Flatulence: Kit Fister: I am a stubborn gun owner. No thanks.

Right there with you:

[i135.photobucket.com image 800x600]

[i135.photobucket.com image 358x295]

[i135.photobucket.com image 600x800]


There are an overabundance of pinks in your basket. Didn't your parents teach you that you must separate your whites from your reds?!

img.fark.net

You will not have a decent place in the post-Apocalyptic world if you can't keep your white undershirts the proper color.
2013-10-10 12:11:32 AM
1 votes:

Ohlookabutterfly: OgreMagi: Thunderpipes: Ya, because EU countries are doing soooooo well.

They always forget their social programs were basically paid for with American tax dollars.  They don't pay for a military because the American bases keep them safe.

Personally, I'm all for closing all the bases in Europe and reducing our military along with the military budget by that amount.  We can no longer afford to be the world police.

No. You jerks ruined the world economy back in 08 and I lost my first home because of it. America has way more to make up for to the rest of the world than a few stupid useless military bases(who are you protecting everyone from, zee Nazis?) so take that bullshiat America first protectionist attitude and pound it. I say you guys hang all your wall street leeches and spread their wealth among all the worlds poor, downtrodden, and hungry, eh?


Have you ever heard of the Marshall Plan?

Anyway I'm calling BS on the rest of your post. You said you were out of work on disability in another thread. Oh yeah, and daily altercations with co-workers too. How did our recession cause that?

Piss off.
2013-10-09 11:22:58 PM
1 votes:

ransack.: There are no king-sized Snickers in Europe


No wonder they're always douches.
2013-10-09 11:22:53 PM
1 votes:
Dammit...I just bought a car
2013-10-09 10:16:15 PM
1 votes:

mizchief: fusillade762: 2. CHEESE

Hey now, I have access to plenty of extremely tasty cheese that comes from about a 40 minute drive away.

[shop.tillamook.com image 800x904]


perigee: Reason 1: Europe won't take you.

Two rules:
- Can't go without a job offer.
- Job can't be offered unless Nobody in the EU can fill it better than you.

So, unpack.

That and most countries require that you speak the language. So that only leaves the UK for most Americans.

That is a stupid old sterotype, like people who say American beer sucks pointing to Budweiser, while we have more craft brewers than anyone else in the world. .


That's funny, because Budweiser isn't an American owned company. Inbev is  a Belgian based company. That's it, I'm convinced, Belgians beer sucks!
2013-10-09 10:08:04 PM
1 votes:

Kit Fister: noitsnot: EngineerBob: Kit Fister: I am a stubborn gun owner. No thanks.

This!
First they came for Venus de Milo
And they'd have ours next!

I wonder how many people who own guns - ya know, "for protection" - also have a fire extinguisher.  Probably not too many.  Or have a first aid kit in their car.

I think it goes, in descending order of probability:

1) Get injured in a car accident
2) Have a fire in your home
3) Get hit by a comet
4) Have your home invaded by violent thugs

Can't speak for anyone else, but my home has full smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, tested regularly; fire extinguishers, tested and certified regularly; a fully stocked first aid kit; and full disaster preparedness items such as a fire ladder, candles, blankets, etc. Etc.

My shop has fire extinguishers and detectors, first aid kit, etc.

In my truck toolbox, I keep a full first aid kit, flashlight, batteries, flares, tow strap, tools, cold weather gear, jumper cables, and basic items needed for quick fix repairs.

I also have a preparedness kit based on the DHS recommendations for disaster evacuations that have copies of prescriptions, important documents, and otherbasic necessities.

Oh, and I even keep a pack of TP in the truck in case I've gotta shiat in a bush.

So, you were saying?


img.totaloutdoornetwork.com

I didn't see an extinguisher or first aid kit on this guy's bed, and he's who a consider the typical gun enthusiast.
2013-10-09 09:52:05 PM
1 votes:
i141.photobucket.com
2013-10-09 09:42:44 PM
1 votes:
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
2013-10-09 09:35:17 PM
1 votes:

Janusdog: mrEdude: amerika is a sinking cesspool of greed, guns and stupidity

wouldn't want to set foot there again

/too bad, went from great to shiat in 20 years
//or was it 10?

I would say 20.

The educational system started collapsing about 1994ish.  That was the first to go, and poor education is why we have the teatards.


I'd guess based on pictures of the rallys that a majority of the Tea Party was educated in the 50s and 60s.
2013-10-09 09:19:08 PM
1 votes:

Slartibreakfast: Cybernetic: I'm waiting for them to learn the proper type of football.

/Yes, I went there.

Football, you keep using that word, I do not think that word means what you think it means.

In North America we call a game football when 99.999% of the time the ball is in your hands.



And hey what's up with DRIVEways and PARKways?! That's CRAAAAZY!
2013-10-09 08:54:50 PM
1 votes:
I hate to give up everything I worked for.

imageshack.us
2013-10-09 08:54:23 PM
1 votes:
The most common arguments I hear in favor of Europe are "free" healthcare and lots of vacation. Well, like the vast majority of Americans (who are here legally), I have healthcare, and I got to choose my insurance and doctor, which is a nice luxury. Other than my annual checkup, which consists of taking my weight and measuring my blood pressure, it's really not a significant aspect of my life. As for vacation, most Americans don't use all the vacation days they are already given, so we need more vacation to sit around like we need another hole in our heads. I've been to Europe, and the purchasing power of your average European isn't even in the same galaxy as the average American. Products in Europe come in smaller sizes, have less selection, and are far more expensive. Also, it's really not cool blowing all your disposable income on 3-euro bottled water everywhere you farking go. Restaurants here are actually a pleasant experience that don't nickel and dime you for every little thing, and you don't have to drop $50-100 every time you go to a halfway decent place. Euro-rich = middle-class suburban American lifestyle.
2013-10-09 08:53:40 PM
1 votes:
wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
2013-10-09 08:35:10 PM
1 votes:

AbiNormal: FunkOut: The only problem with Finland is Finnish is pretty bloody difficult to learn compared to Swedish or Danish. It's like super fancy Elvish.

I didn't know Elvis spoke a fancy language?

/Was it French?


seanconneryday.com
don't you shtep on my blue sheude shoes.
2013-10-09 08:27:54 PM
1 votes:

Ohlookabutterfly: OgreMagi: Thunderpipes: Ya, because EU countries are doing soooooo well.

They always forget their social programs were basically paid for with American tax dollars.  They don't pay for a military because the American bases keep them safe.

Personally, I'm all for closing all the bases in Europe and reducing our military along with the military budget by that amount.  We can no longer afford to be the world police.

No. You jerks ruined the world economy back in 08 and I lost my first home because of it. America has way more to make up for to the rest of the world than a few stupid useless military bases(who are you protecting everyone from, zee Nazis?) so take that bullshiat America first protectionist attitude and pound it. I say you guys hang all your wall street leeches and spread their wealth among all the worlds poor, downtrodden, and hungry, eh?


Every time we ignored you idiots in Europe, you started shooting at each other and dragged the entire farking world into your bullshiat.  So the last time we had to clean up your mess, we decided to stay.

Oh, another thing.  Don't pull that European exceptionalism crap on me.  "We've been around longer".  No you haven't.  The USA has been a nation longer than almost every damn country in Europe.  Most of your countries are rather new, in fact.
2013-10-09 08:27:42 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: 2. CHEESE

Hey now, I have access to plenty of extremely tasty cheese that comes from about a 40 minute drive away.

[shop.tillamook.com image 800x904]


perigee: Reason 1: Europe won't take you.

Two rules:
- Can't go without a job offer.
- Job can't be offered unless Nobody in the EU can fill it better than you.

So, unpack.

That and most countries require that you speak the language. So that only leaves the UK for most Americans.


In Germany, you better speak English, German, and one other G8 language if you want a job of any consequence.

What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks one language? American.
2013-10-09 08:25:44 PM
1 votes:
Miniature-sized consumer products, restaurants that charge for seating, bread, and water, lack of drinking fountains, pay bathrooms, tiny expensive living spaces, beggars and pickpockets, crazy taxes, graffiti everywhere, rude people - you have a blast with Europe, Subby, I'll somehow manage here in the U.S. with my multiple cars, comfortable house, friendly servers, and huge portions.
2013-10-09 08:25:01 PM
1 votes:
Was tempted to check trending real estate for off-the-beaten-path castles in Bavaria, but somehow I think they're still out of my price range.

That said, the German rail system  is beyond belief, both urban and rural.  Yes, I know who else was good with trains, but talking about present day here.
2013-10-09 08:24:33 PM
1 votes:

Ohlookabutterfly: OgreMagi: Thunderpipes: Ya, because EU countries are doing soooooo well.

They always forget their social programs were basically paid for with American tax dollars.  They don't pay for a military because the American bases keep them safe.

Personally, I'm all for closing all the bases in Europe and reducing our military along with the military budget by that amount.  We can no longer afford to be the world police.

No. You jerks ruined the world economy back in 08 and I lost my first home because of it. America has way more to make up for to the rest of the world than a few stupid useless military bases(who are you protecting everyone from, zee Nazis?) so take that bullshiat America first protectionist attitude and pound it. I say you guys hang all your wall street leeches and spread their wealth among all the worlds poor, downtrodden, and hungry, eh?


Someone's butthurt. fark you and the rest of the world.
2013-10-09 08:21:49 PM
1 votes:

OgreMagi: Thunderpipes: Ya, because EU countries are doing soooooo well.

They always forget their social programs were basically paid for with American tax dollars.  They don't pay for a military because the American bases keep them safe.

Personally, I'm all for closing all the bases in Europe and reducing our military along with the military budget by that amount.  We can no longer afford to be the world police.


No. You jerks ruined the world economy back in 08 and I lost my first home because of it. America has way more to make up for to the rest of the world than a few stupid useless military bases(who are you protecting everyone from, zee Nazis?) so take that bullshiat America first protectionist attitude and pound it. I say you guys hang all your wall street leeches and spread their wealth among all the worlds poor, downtrodden, and hungry, eh?
2013-10-09 08:21:00 PM
1 votes:
I'm waiting for the mad max times subby, or as I like to call them, the fallout times.

content.bethsoft.com
2013-10-09 08:16:33 PM
1 votes:

FunkOut: Ohlookabutterfly: Come to Socialist Canada! We need skilled people to fill the positions our govnmt has allowed companies to hire temporary foreign workers to fill at half the pay in an effort to dilute the cost of said skilled labour. I have nothing against hungry Filipinos coming here to make a buck but not as a tool to undermine the wage I and my predecessors have fought to establish.

Nobody here wants to pick berries anymore for 40 cents a pound. You have to import people who think that's a good deal.


We tried importing Mexicans. Then they started getting "uppity."
2013-10-09 08:09:47 PM
1 votes:
Hey my family was thrown out of some of the finest places in Europe I doubt they want us back.
2013-10-09 08:07:50 PM
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2013-10-09 08:07:48 PM
1 votes:
Ya, because EU countries are doing soooooo well.
2013-10-09 07:59:03 PM
1 votes:
Any of the really decent euro countries have higher barriers to citizenship then America does. And despite our problems, we can work on them. But thanks!
2013-10-09 07:58:17 PM
1 votes:
The movie adaptation of this clusterfark will include Boehner being blackmailed into shutting down the government and telling no one or else terrorists will set off nukes in 10 major cities, and only one man can stop these terrorists.
2013-10-09 07:57:19 PM
1 votes:
I am a stubborn gun owner. No thanks.
2013-10-09 07:55:08 PM
1 votes:
My ancestors left there too long ago.  I don't qualify for any repatriation plans.
 
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