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(Huffington Post)   Dear Americans: Your country is shutting down, your leaders are about to crash your economy and turn America into Mad Max times. Here are 16 reasons to move to Europe. What are you waiting for?   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 347
    More: Cool, Mad Max, Europeans, Americans, World Health Organization, Eurovision Song Contest, San Marino, American Love, united states ranked  
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12402 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2013 at 7:50 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



347 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-09 07:53:05 PM
Hell, I figure once subby leaves America will be just fine.
 
2013-10-09 07:54:08 PM
An invitation?
Oh, and compensation that will make sense after the global financial system is ashes.
 
2013-10-09 07:54:38 PM
Money to afford it?
 
2013-10-09 07:54:45 PM
Because it will suck everywhere.

The only argument to move is perhaps that the rest of the world will decide that Tea Partiers are a world threat and drop bombs on us.
 
2013-10-09 07:55:08 PM
My ancestors left there too long ago.  I don't qualify for any repatriation plans.
 
2013-10-09 07:55:19 PM
I note they left out the regularly scheduled ethnic cleansing they get over in Euroland. Every 50 years seems to be the cycle.
 
2013-10-09 07:55:41 PM
guess I am waiting for the natural decomposition of the Declaration of Independence -

and Plymouth Rock
 
2013-10-09 07:56:03 PM
I was unaware that relocating to a different country was just as easy as moving to another state in the US, with none of those pesky immigration laws.

/although as I understand it, it's fairly easy for anybody with significant German ancestry to go back
 
2013-10-09 07:56:39 PM
You throwing your doors open to us?
 
2013-10-09 07:57:19 PM
I am a stubborn gun owner. No thanks.
 
2013-10-09 07:57:50 PM

akula: I note they left out the regularly scheduled ethnic cleansing they get over in Euroland. Every 50 years seems to be the cycle.


Well, that's how they keep the cities looking so clean.
 
2013-10-09 07:58:17 PM
The movie adaptation of this clusterfark will include Boehner being blackmailed into shutting down the government and telling no one or else terrorists will set off nukes in 10 major cities, and only one man can stop these terrorists.
 
2013-10-09 07:58:58 PM
Because its hard to get a visa that allows you to work there. I am trying though!
 
2013-10-09 07:59:03 PM
Any of the really decent euro countries have higher barriers to citizenship then America does. And despite our problems, we can work on them. But thanks!
 
2013-10-09 07:59:10 PM

Kit Fister: I am a stubborn gun owner. No thanks.


Sweden's OK if you know a few police up there. Finland could care less. Hell you can get automatic Class IIIs in Switzerland no problem. In fact Switzerland is pretty much a perfect place for Americans to go.
 
2013-10-09 07:59:26 PM
I'm waiting for them to learn the proper type of football.

/Yes, I went there.
 
2013-10-09 07:59:38 PM
What I am waiting for:

1) Lost my passport

2) I am one year from finishing a Physics PhD. A Physics PhD would be highly valuable. "Being a year away from having a physics PhD" is not.
 
2013-10-09 07:59:48 PM
Reason 1: Europe won't take you.

Two rules:
- Can't go without a job offer.
- Job can't be offered unless Nobody in the EU can fill it better than you.

So, unpack.
 
2013-10-09 07:59:58 PM
I'm going to move to Naples Italy and work the garbage barges...
 
2013-10-09 08:00:00 PM
the skanky limey biatches to get to a dentist and shave their legs
 
2013-10-09 08:00:27 PM
What am I waiting for? I'm already 'out'--living in Berlin for more than a month now.
 
2013-10-09 08:01:19 PM
I waitin' for 'em to learn english.

Except for you, UK... close enough.
 
2013-10-09 08:01:19 PM
Hunting?  Fishing?  Hiking and camping in Alpine areas away from the hoards? Dirt Bike Riding?  Wide open spaces?

I think this country boy will stay put but thanks for the offer!

Maybe a 2 week trip during a vacation?
 
2013-10-09 08:01:37 PM
I heard they were going to build a fence along the Canadian border consisting of metal pillars placed just far enough apart that only skinny people can get through. The catch is that the skinny Americans who get through will freeze to death due to lack of body fat.
 
2013-10-09 08:01:53 PM
media.mlive.com
Hey. Lay off Detroit. Them people are going through Mad Max times.
 
2013-10-09 08:02:48 PM

Kit Fister: I am a stubborn gun owner. No thanks.


There are areas of Scandinavia where you legally must carry a sidearm.

Of course, this is because of the bears...

Gun laws in various countries are kinda interesting.  Things that are way illegal or heavily controlled here are just fine there and vice-versa.  My favorite is that in one country in particular (Italy?) it is illegal for civilians to own anything that shoots 9x19, because that is a military round.  .40, 10mm, sure, but no 9mm.  But in some other countries, silencers are A-OK.
 
2013-10-09 08:03:06 PM
Europe's more crowded.  I'd be ushered into Yankee slums and have to knife fight Muslims and Africans for a box of Mac 'n Cheese.
 
2013-10-09 08:04:23 PM

HeadLever: Hunting?  Fishing?  Hiking and camping in Alpine areas away from the hoards? Dirt Bike Riding?  Wide open spaces?

I think this country boy will stay put but thanks for the offer!

Maybe a 2 week trip during a vacation?


Try Finland. It's like the British Columbia of Europe only even more drunk and containing more reindeer/caribou.
 
2013-10-09 08:04:40 PM
I'm sure most Europeans don't want me.  I'm not white.

Oh yeah, I pulled that race card.
 
2013-10-09 08:05:06 PM
Come to Socialist Canada! We need skilled people to fill the positions our govnmt has allowed companies to hire temporary foreign workers to fill at half the pay in an effort to dilute the cost of said skilled labour. I have nothing against hungry Filipinos coming here to make a buck but not as a tool to undermine the wage I and my predecessors have fought to establish.
 
2013-10-09 08:05:08 PM
Forget Europe. I'm moving to New Zealand.
 
2013-10-09 08:05:28 PM

Felgraf: What I am waiting for:

1) Lost my passport

2) I am one year from finishing a Physics PhD. A Physics PhD would be highly valuable. "Being a year away from having a physics PhD" is not.



I have a few friends with physics phd's.  Good luck to you - unless you've authored some great papers, you may find the market is surprisingly small.  Hopefully you won't end up in a succession of backwater universities on 2 year postdocs.
 
2013-10-09 08:07:48 PM
The only problem with Finland is Finnish is pretty bloody difficult to learn compared to Swedish or Danish. It's like super fancy Elvish.
 
2013-10-09 08:07:48 PM
HOW can this POSSIBLY happen with the LIGHTBRINGER in office?

No manned space program?

Post offices closing?

Can't go to Yellowstone?

NSA assuming all American are enemies of the state?

What the hell?
 
2013-10-09 08:07:48 PM
Ya, because EU countries are doing soooooo well.
 
2013-10-09 08:07:50 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-10-09 08:08:16 PM
2. CHEESE

Hey now, I have access to plenty of extremely tasty cheese that comes from about a 40 minute drive away.

shop.tillamook.com


perigee: Reason 1: Europe won't take you.

Two rules:
- Can't go without a job offer.
- Job can't be offered unless Nobody in the EU can fill it better than you.

So, unpack.


That and most countries require that you speak the language. So that only leaves the UK for most Americans.
 
2013-10-09 08:08:45 PM
FunkOut:
Try Finland. It's like the British Columbia of Europe only even more drunk and containing more reindeer/caribou.

Finland has the world's highest number of metal bands per capita, by a very large margin.

Finland also has the world's highest number of crazy rally drivers.

Coincidence?  No.

/to finish first you must first be Finnish
 
2013-10-09 08:08:48 PM

ISO15693: Forget Europe. I'm moving to New Zealand.


Giant bugs of horror. Not worth it!
 
2013-10-09 08:09:18 PM

Ohlookabutterfly: Come to Socialist Canada! We need skilled people to fill the positions our govnmt has allowed companies to hire temporary foreign workers to fill at half the pay in an effort to dilute the cost of said skilled labour. I have nothing against hungry Filipinos coming here to make a buck but not as a tool to undermine the wage I and my predecessors have fought to establish.


Nobody here wants to pick berries anymore for 40 cents a pound. You have to import people who think that's a good deal.
 
2013-10-09 08:09:25 PM

SirEattonHogg: I'm sure most Europeans don't want me.  I'm not white.

Oh yeah, I pulled that race card.


I'll bite, are you a pearlescent shade of taupe then?
 
2013-10-09 08:09:47 PM
Hey my family was thrown out of some of the finest places in Europe I doubt they want us back.
 
2013-10-09 08:10:26 PM

FunkOut: Try Finland. It's like the British Columbia of Europe only even more drunk and containing more reindeer/caribou.


Adds to notes.  Scandinavia and the Nordic has always been interesting to me.  Thanks!

/would also like to visit Geordieland.
 
2013-10-09 08:10:37 PM
The point about cheese used to be true, but now even our local supermarkets are carrying a wide selection of cheeses and will soon catch up with Europe and there are plenty of smaller shops that indulge in my cheese needs.

Soccer/football?  Who farking cares?  Both versions are boring.  Maybe I should point out how your soccer hooligans are a much bigger problem than our football thugs.

Public transporation?  I bet it's great only in the denser cities, just like here in the USA.  I'll concede that the public transportation in Budapest beat the hell out of San Francisco.

Chocolate?  I can get quality chocolate here, too.  Not all Americans think Hershey's makes chocolate.
 
2013-10-09 08:11:21 PM

AutumnWind: ISO15693: Forget Europe. I'm moving to New Zealand.

Giant bugs of horror. Not worth it!


They make them into a nutritious cereal called Wetabix.
 
2013-10-09 08:12:00 PM

SirEattonHogg: I'm sure most Europeans don't want me.  I'm not white.

Oh yeah, I pulled that race card.


Meh. Not like America is any kind of racial utopia. I would take my chance in Europe. Hell, I went to Berlin and Prague and had less hassles than I expected. I was born and raised in Boston and I've have more than my share of racial issues with people here.

Wit that being said, it doesn't really look like Europe is in much better shape than the U.S.
 
2013-10-09 08:12:02 PM

Kit Fister: I am a stubborn gun owner. No thanks.


This!

Can we take our 80%lower receiver AR's with us? Or do we have to get to work on a black market AK?
 
2013-10-09 08:12:29 PM
A very good chunk of the US population doesn't remember anything but the couple decades immediately after WW2, when Europe and Asia were a smoldering mess, and the US was the only nation left on the face of the planet that wasn't a complete wreck.  And thus honestly believe that there is some God-given absolute reason why the US must be better at all these things than every other country forever, and any statistics to the contrary are just jealous commie liberal fascist propaganda obfuscating an inevitable corrupt implosion into despair.
 
2013-10-09 08:13:07 PM
Um... what kind of moron doesn't know that "American" cheese is just processed cheddar, and that we produce basically every variety of cheese domestically?

I sorta suspect after reading this article that the author would be rather hard-pressed to find the USA on a globe if asked.  Probably would take him five or six tries to work out which one was Europe, too, especially since he appears to think it's a  country with a uniform culture and public works projects.

//The entry about life-spans causes him to also fail demography and statistics forever, but then basic geography and the ability to Google simple shiat is probably a prerequisite for that.
 
2013-10-09 08:13:07 PM

Mister Peejay: My favorite is that in one country in particular (Italy?) it is illegal for civilians to own anything that shoots 9x19, because that is a military round. .40, 10mm, sure, but no 9mm.


Nice. I don't own anything that shoots 9x19mm. I carry 10mm for the same reason my rifle shoots .308 instead of .223: because I don't go for half measures.

My son shot a bunch of Iraqis with .223 and 9mm ball ammo in 2003. He also carries 10mm now, because if he has to go through the stress and trouble of shooting anyone else... it'll be because he wants them to DIE, preferably right away.
 
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