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(The Hill)   "In my mind the president has committed impeachable offenses." Well, to be fair, in Michele Bachmann's mind the President is funding terrorists, bringing about the biblical End Times, and probably uses ketchup on his hotdogs   (thehill.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Michele Bachmann, President Obama, White House, Right Wing Watch, end times, Lord Jesus, Rusty Humphries  
•       •       •

1738 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Oct 2013 at 6:26 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-09 02:47:12 PM  
14 votes:
mmoqq.com

No ketchup, straight mayo, dawg.
2013-10-09 05:03:56 PM  
12 votes:
In Michelle Bachmann's mind, the soundtrack is a continual loop of "Turkey in the Straw," and cartoon bald eagles do constant battle with 1920s drawings of black people while dodos hit things with mallets.
2013-10-09 02:50:50 PM  
9 votes:
In Marcus' mind, Michele has a girthy 8-incher instead of a Sarlacc.
2013-10-09 04:26:38 PM  
7 votes:
In her mind, Marcus is straight.
2013-10-09 05:11:44 PM  
6 votes:
One day we're going to see a video of Bachmann kneeling down in the dirt just outside the WH garden, picking rhubarb and screaming profanities at a puzzled Michelle Obama.
2013-10-09 07:16:30 PM  
4 votes:

Doktor_Zhivago: undflickertail: Janusdog: False charge.  He's from Chicago, there is no way he puts ketchup on his hot dog.

He is actually from Indonesia Hawaii Kenya, it would be a spam dog fly cake.

FTFY


FTFM
2013-10-09 06:02:19 PM  
4 votes:

jchic: Nabb1: Well, ketchup on a hot dog should be an impeachable offense.

What about ketchup AND mayonaise on a hotdog?


You are a bad person for even suggesting that. Phone your mother, right now, and instruct her to love you less.
wee
2013-10-09 05:20:29 PM  
4 votes:
Of all the things to get snobby about, meat and other animal parts which have purposfully been rendered unindentifiable in order not to cause a "gag on sight" reflex in the would-be eater are what we're being snobby about?

Ankle and sinus and snout and tendon and anus and ear wax, and intestinal juices all emulsified into a pinkish paste so as not to cause the eater to question what he's about to ingest -- THAT'S the thing we're getting snobby about what gets put on top of it!?  You can eat all the diaphram and testicle and beak and trimmings and gullet and random bits of organ you want, as long as you don't apply a vinegar and tomato sauce to the top of it.  This is the hill upon which the food snobs want to plant their flag?

"You can eat all the asshole you want, but you put ketchup on that, it's fightin' time!"  Really?  Because that's beyond stupid, even putting aside why it would be a big offense to begin with.

Pick something you can at least identify to get snobby about, like steak or beer or wine -- or even bread.  Hell, the difference between average bread and really good bread is farking huge.  The differences are enormous.  In fact, I'd argue that you'd be on way firmer culinary ground being snobby about the goddam bun than you would the tube of cured and heavily salted unknown maybe-meat inside of it...
2013-10-09 10:50:06 PM  
3 votes:

jaerik: Bachman, last weekend:

"I'm a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God's end times history. Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand. When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah."

No further comment necessary.


content9.flixster.com
2013-10-09 07:22:07 PM  
3 votes:

ilambiquated: Can't you see  It's not me
It's not my famiiy
In your head
They are fighting
In your head
They are dying
What's in your head?
Zombie zombie


Wit' dare t'anks
'n' dare goons
'n' dare goons
'n' dare bums
E.R.A. E.R.A.
Dare still d'oi-in'
E.R.A.
Watts E.R.A-a-a.
2013-10-09 07:09:54 PM  
3 votes:

undflickertail: Janusdog: False charge.  He's from Chicago, there is no way he puts ketchup on his hot dog.

He is actually from

Indonesia Hawaii, it would be a spam dog.

FTFY
2013-10-09 06:59:14 PM  
3 votes:

Janusdog: False charge.  He's from Chicago, there is no way he puts ketchup on his hot dog.


He is actually from Hawaii, it would be a spam dog.
2013-10-09 06:57:48 PM  
3 votes:
In my mind I'm the King of Space
2013-10-09 06:45:33 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-10-09 06:38:30 PM  
3 votes:
Just think, based on polling done in the 2012 primaries, there are literally millions of American citizens who look at Michele Bachmann and think "That woman needs to have command and control of our nuclear arsenal and make decisions that potentially affect the future of the human race."

That fact should make even Krinkles the Cereal Clown erupt in violent terror-shiats.
2013-10-09 06:29:48 PM  
3 votes:

fusillade762: "Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice," she continued. "Maranatha, come Lord Jesus, his day is at hand. When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah."

That this woman is allowed to hold any political authority greater than that of a dog catcher is terrifying.


She's derp's crumple zone.
2013-10-09 06:03:14 PM  
3 votes:
newsbusters.org
2013-10-09 05:04:49 PM  
3 votes:

Rev.K: Presidentin' While Black.

IMPEACH!


Well our first black president was impeached.
2013-10-09 10:15:53 PM  
2 votes:
Michelle Bachmann: "in my mind  "

There she goes again, exaggerating
2013-10-09 09:29:56 PM  
2 votes:
Ketchup? On his hot dogs?
t3.gstatic.com
ON! HIS! HOT! DOGS??????
2013-10-09 07:25:10 PM  
2 votes:
Michelle Bachmann: "in my mind  "

stoppedreadingthere.png
2013-10-09 06:58:10 PM  
2 votes:
Can't you see  It's not me
It's not my famiiy
In your head
They are fighting
In your head
They are dying
What's in your head?
Zombie zombie
2013-10-09 06:49:27 PM  
2 votes:
False charge.  He's from Chicago, there is no way he puts ketchup on his hot dog.
2013-10-09 06:29:43 PM  
2 votes:

fusillade762: "Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice," she continued. "Maranatha, come Lord Jesus, his day is at hand. When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah."

That this woman is allowed to hold any political authority greater than that of a dog catcher is terrifying.


Funnily enough, according to HER OWN MYTHOLOGY, she deserves to be put to death for being a false prophet.
2013-10-09 05:26:09 PM  
2 votes:
she might be confusing Obama with Allen Keys.  they all look alike to her.
2013-10-09 03:17:40 PM  
2 votes:
Well, ketchup on a hot dog should be an impeachable offense.
2013-10-10 08:19:10 AM  
1 vote:
I just knew I could find this one pre-made if I looked for it.

0.tqn.com
2013-10-10 05:40:36 AM  
1 vote:
MMMmmm...

poshports.com

If you foodist bastards want to call this wrong, I don't want to be right!
2013-10-10 02:31:53 AM  
1 vote:
WTF did I just read?  The comments on that article are some of the stupidest, brain-meltingly retarded derp I've ever read.  And after stridently making their patently absurd, easily-or-already debunked proclamations with absolutely nothing to support them, they declare themselves right, correct, and victorious.  I had to stop after just a few because I could feel my blood pressure rising to unhealthy levels.
2013-10-10 12:36:59 AM  
1 vote:

sprawl15: Sgt Otter: jaerik: Bachman, last weekend:

"I'm a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God's end times history. Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand. When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah."

No further comment necessary.

Aren't leaves supposed to be on trees?

What the hell does that mean?

"It is people who went before us, who sacrificed, who built it up, and who threw their labor, literally filled the trees and clawed through the land, and picked the rocks, and built the barns, and did what had to be done to build up this most magnificent country that the world has ever seen."
--Michele Bachmann


"Picked the rocks"???

What the hell were they growing?
2013-10-10 12:16:57 AM  
1 vote:

i14.photobucket.com

2013-10-09 11:23:51 PM  
1 vote:

grumpfuff: Mikey1969: You notice that these people can never actually NAME these "impeachable offenses"? Just like they can never point to" thuggery" that is any different than what any President has ever done in history. Same with the whole "dictator" thing. Once again, he hasn't acted markedly different than his predecessors, but these morons conveniently forget that.

This. I am sick and tired of these assholes going "Well, he's committed impeachable offenses," and the interviewer not intermediately asking "What, specifically, has he done?" and continue asking the question until they give an answer or admit they are wrong. It's farking disgusting. Same with the "thuggery" and "dictator" bullshiat.


Have either of you noticed that Obama's black?
2013-10-09 10:55:17 PM  
1 vote:

Mikey1969: You notice that these people can never actually NAME these "impeachable offenses"? Just like they can never point to" thuggery" that is any different than what any President has ever done in history. Same with the whole "dictator" thing. Once again, he hasn't acted markedly different than his predecessors, but these morons conveniently forget that.

No

kidding...  Why doesn't anyone call her out on these "impeachable" offenses?  I'm sure Jesus wouldn't take to kindly to whole lyin' thing.
2013-10-09 10:48:55 PM  
1 vote:
Bachmann is not running for reelection in 2014.

That's the only good news I've read all week.
2013-10-09 08:56:07 PM  
1 vote:
O Come ON.  Just stop it Michele.  Stop it now.


/Tertiary syphilis is a sad condition
2013-10-09 08:18:18 PM  
1 vote:
Problem solved: Anyone serving in Congress should have to take a psych test.

Because dammit, this woman belongs in a psychiatric hospital, not in our government.
2013-10-09 08:15:42 PM  
1 vote:
Chicago Gold Coast char dog, biatches.  No ketchup.

farm9.staticflickr.com
2013-10-09 08:13:20 PM  
1 vote:
So, just sayin', Michelle, *You KNOW* the President of the United States of America has committed impeachable offenses...

... and you *refuse* to file Articles of Impeachment...

... so, you're confessing to being a part of this conspiracy, is that what you're saying?
2013-10-09 08:01:40 PM  
1 vote:
President Obama uses ketchup on his hotdog?


Obscene.


Impeach him now!


Some things are just not acceptable!
2013-10-09 07:54:32 PM  
1 vote:
Only good part of the article:

Bachmann is not running for reelection in 2014.
2013-10-09 07:54:00 PM  
1 vote:
Bachman, last weekend:

"I'm a believer in Jesus Christ, as I look at the End Times scripture, this says to me that the leaf is on the fig tree and we are to understand the signs of the times, which is your ministry, we are to understand where we are in God's end times history. Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice, Maranatha Come Lord Jesus, His day is at hand. When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah."

No further comment necessary.
2013-10-09 07:49:28 PM  
1 vote:
this is all Lincoln's fault. he should have let the south secede, then we'd all be better off today
2013-10-09 07:43:17 PM  
1 vote:

cretinbob: In my mind I'm the King of Space


No! I'M the King of Space! You're just some Kenyan Muslin Turrist Commie Socialist who is hell bent on destroying Spacemerica! THESE ARE THE END TIMES!
2013-10-09 07:27:01 PM  
1 vote:
God also told her to run for president.
2013-10-09 07:26:22 PM  
1 vote:
What mind?
2013-10-09 07:03:56 PM  
1 vote:
In fairness, he HAS been seen Presidentin' While Democrat, which in her mind is PROOF that he's done something illegal.

Which says something about the last couple of republican candidates...
2013-10-09 06:54:40 PM  
1 vote:
I've known all this stuff, since the spicy mustard incident...

not news
IP
2013-10-09 06:53:35 PM  
1 vote:
Keep farking that chicken, Crazy Eyes.
2013-10-09 06:47:06 PM  
1 vote:

Nabb1: Well, ketchup on a hot dog should be an impeachable offense.


What if it is fair trade organic catsup?
2013-10-09 06:45:40 PM  
1 vote:
Part of the plan is to force him to do something unconstitutional regarding the debt ceiling, then impeaching him for it.
2013-10-09 06:40:23 PM  
1 vote:
Lots of things seem to happen in Michelle Bachmans mind.
and her law degree probably told her that if she says, "in my mind..." before ever stupid thing she says, she can't be sued for libel.   she is saying "the laws and Congress in my head are so way out of whack that everything the President does, in my mind, is impeachable by the voices, in my mind"

why anyone lets her talk, oh wait, faux nooz
2013-10-09 06:15:14 PM  
1 vote:
"Rather than seeing this as a negative, we need to rejoice," she continued. "Maranatha, come Lord Jesus, his day is at hand. When we see up is down and right is called wrong, when this is happening, we were told this; these days would be as the days of Noah."

That this woman is allowed to hold any political authority greater than that of a dog catcher is terrifying.
2013-10-09 05:20:05 PM  
1 vote:
And this woman is a tea party hero?

huh.  well ok then.
2013-10-09 05:10:20 PM  
1 vote:
Thank the heavens that the contents of her twisted skull couldn't possibly matter less.
2013-10-09 05:09:36 PM  
1 vote:
i970.photobucket.com
2013-10-09 04:55:43 PM  
1 vote:
Presidentin' While Black.

IMPEACH!
2013-10-09 03:31:11 PM  
1 vote:
In Bachmann's mind, Jesus rode a dinosaur and these are the end times.
2013-10-09 03:24:13 PM  
1 vote:

Marcus Aurelius: The fact that anyone pays any attention to Michele Bachmann is a searing indictment of the intelligence of the American people.  It's embarrassing.


They pay attention to her because SHE'S A MEMBER OF THE US CONGRESS. That's what's embarrassing.
2013-10-09 03:21:00 PM  
1 vote:

Nabb1: Well, ketchup on a hot dog should be an impeachable offense.


What about ketchup AND mayonaise on a hotdog?
2013-10-09 03:13:52 PM  
1 vote:
Ketchup, horseradish mustard, and a long sliced full sour pickle on a small challah roll cut in half.

This is now a Hot Dog thread
 
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