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(Detroit Free Press)   Maximum trolling: Anonymous donor leaves 12,000-year-old mastodon tusk in the donation box of a Christian charity   (freep.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Michigan, Grand Rapids Press, blood donors, mastodons, saisen, donations, maximum  
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6429 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2013 at 1:04 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



112 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2013-10-09 01:53:08 PM  
Wouldn't 12,000 year old ivory be worth a good bit of money?

In related news, I think it's funny as hell that someone did this at all.
 
2013-10-09 01:53:09 PM  

pedobearapproved: R.A.Danny: This just in, all Christians think the world is 6,000 years old.

step 1. accuse christians of using poor logic
step 2. attack a narrow belief that only a few of them hold using a straw man logical fallacy
step 3. act like you did something



dailypicksandflicks.com
 
2013-10-09 01:54:25 PM  

cptjeff: meanmutton: Two16: cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream working across denominations to help the poor.


[www.troll.me image 550x550]

Are you trying to suggest that the Catholics and Lutherans believe in New Earth Creationism?

I do believe that that's exactly what he's trying to suggest. Which would make him a moron or a troll. But then, I repeat myself.


shapingperceptions.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-09 01:56:58 PM  
I'm conflicted. It's not quite trolling because the charity seem to be a good sensible group that just focuses on charity work, rather than religious issues. And even the most devout atheists among us will admit that church groups are an effective way to raise support and organize local charity events (emphasis on the word local).
On the other hand, if the tusk and tooth were given to a fundamentalist young-earth group, they probably would discard it or throw it in some basement to never see the light of day again.

So props to the donor for his charity, and also for taking the opportunity to give us some laughs - we can still enjoy a joke even when we know it diverges from reality. But, the donor may have gotten a larger tax deduction if they donated directly to the museum. So, I thank the donor for acting selflessly for our enjoyment. :)
 
2013-10-09 01:57:06 PM  

Two16: cptjeff: meanmutton: Two16: cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream working across denominations to help the poor.


[www.troll.me image 550x550]

Are you trying to suggest that the Catholics and Lutherans believe in New Earth Creationism?

I do believe that that's exactly what he's trying to suggest. Which would make him a moron or a troll. But then, I repeat myself.

[shapingperceptions.files.wordpress.com image 181x158]


It's a reference to a Twain quote:

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

\Still applicable today.
 
2013-10-09 01:59:04 PM  

SearchN: Came for Jesus riding a Mastodon.. Leaving disapoint.


Could only find a T-Rex.

images1.dailykos.com
 
2013-10-09 01:59:29 PM  

cptjeff: Rayou: The charity doesn't seem to have any real opinions on the issue. I'd bet a fair number of the volunteers are creationists

You realize new earth nuts are a pretty small minority of Christians, right? Right?

\Yeah, thought not.
\\Remove the beam from thine own eye, jackass.


I'm going to assume you've never been to western Michigan.  As he mentioned, it's a hotbed of Fundies.
 
2013-10-09 02:01:50 PM  
steamingpile:
Yeah, Mormons are so much easier to mock by using their belief structure and how they will ascend to heaven through the St Louis Arch.

wat

[google]

Ah - you're thinking of the "Community of Christ" formerly known as the "Reformed LDS Church" until a dozen or so years ago, but separated from the LDS church in 1844, before Brigham Young, based itself in Independence Missouri, distanced itself from its earlier LDS connections, and whose membership has dwindled to a few hundred thousand, which wikipedia describes as "...rooted in Restorationist traditions...[A]lthough in some respects the Community of Christ is congruent with mainline Protestant Christian attitudes "

You are mocking them? Okay. I'm not sure how that relates to anything.
 
2013-10-09 02:02:12 PM  

Rayou: cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream Christians working across denominations to help the poor.

Since this is coming from west Michigan, them being creationists is a pretty safe assumption.

/Lots of fundies out here.
//Not saying these guys are.


Was going to mention that.  Back in the 90s, when I drove an old pickup truck that only had AM radio, you could pretty much only get right wing talk radio shows any where in western MI.  Creationist radio shows were pretty common.  Especially around Grand Rapids.  I had a friend move there for a job back then too.  They fled as soon as they could.
 
2013-10-09 02:08:31 PM  

abhorrent1: "I'd love to find out where this was from and the history behind it," said Jay Starkey, the charity's director.

C'mon you know this one. It was found where Satan left it to trick people


It sounds like this is just a nice charity and only shares the most tangential connection to the Young Earth crowd. And their director has a very dry sense of humor. It's just full 'o' win today.
 
2013-10-09 02:09:23 PM  

ISO15693: pedobearapproved: R.A.Danny: This just in, all Christians think the world is 6,000 years old.

step 1. accuse christians of using poor logic
step 2. attack a narrow belief that only a few of them hold using a straw man logical fallacy
step 3. act like you did something

step 1. accuse christians of using poor logic
step 2. attack a narrow belief that only a few of them hold using a straw man logical fallacy
step 3B. Put a "Darwin fish" on your car and laugh inside at the nonexistant people you think you are offending
step 3. act like you did something


Actually that's not exactly true
I had one on my car 15 years ago and I had at least two people tell me they were offended.
that said no I don't believe all Christians deny evolution nor do I think they believe that the earth is only 6000 years old.
but there are some who do and as long as they are given voice it cheapens and diminishes the whole religion in the same way that terrorists defame Islam & and Adam Sandler ruins Judaism.
 
2013-10-09 02:09:36 PM  

cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream Christians working across denominations to help the poor.


I grew up as a Lutheran (ELCA) and now attend a Catholic church,  Both as a matter of theology believe in scientific proof of Darwinism and the Big Bang.  In fact my Sunday school teacher gave me a scientific book about dinosaurs when I was 10.  I'm thinking these guys would be very happy to take a Mastodon tusk, sell it and use the money for their mission.
 
2013-10-09 02:11:03 PM  
I wonder if that majestic beast roaming the expanse of the Pliocene tundra, in it's final moments, had any idea that its tusk would become fossilized and be used by a 21st century douche to prove a point no one was making.

It's one form of immortality, I suppose.
 
2013-10-09 02:13:31 PM  

machoprogrammer: 98% or more of Christians aren't the retard fundie type...

Submitter is as retarded as the "troll"



You might want to sit down for this.  Are you sitting down?  OK, read on:

Since 1982, between 40% and 50% of adults in the United States say they hold the creationist view that "God created humans in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years" when   asked for their views on the origin and. A 2011 Gallup survey reports that 30% of U.S. adults say they.

2011 numbers for Christians in the US are around 80%, so that puts the current % of Christian tards around 37%.
 
2013-10-09 02:15:54 PM  
link got chopped.  It's supposed to say 30% of US adults say they interpret the bible literally.

Anyway, you can rephrase your outrage to say "63% of Christians aren't the retard fundie type", that would be accurate.
 
2013-10-09 02:19:29 PM  

onzmadi: ISO15693: pedobearapproved: R.A.Danny: This just in, all Christians think the world is 6,000 years old.

step 1. accuse christians of using poor logic
step 2. attack a narrow belief that only a few of them hold using a straw man logical fallacy
step 3. act like you did something

step 1. accuse christians of using poor logic
step 2. attack a narrow belief that only a few of them hold using a straw man logical fallacy
step 3B. Put a "Darwin fish" on your car and laugh inside at the nonexistant people you think you are offending
step 3. act like you did something

Actually that's not exactly true
I had one on my car 15 years ago and I had at least two people tell me they were offended.
that said no I don't believe all Christians deny evolution nor do I think they believe that the earth is only 6000 years old.
but there are some who do and as long as they are given voice it cheapens and diminishes the whole religion in the same way that terrorists defame Islam & and Adam Sandler ruins Judaism.


Well, you sound like a reasonable individual. I respect that, and fully agree.

It reminds me of a quote by St. Augustine from several centuries ago.. paraphrased, he said "Dawg - if you are stupid, don't talk about religion, 'cause when you do, it makes peeps think that all religious people are stupid. So shut your piehole."
 
2013-10-09 02:20:26 PM  
Why didn't he leave it in the donation box for the USC Trojan Marching Band?
www.secretly-important.com
 
2013-10-09 02:25:05 PM  

Bacontastesgood: 2011 numbers for Christians in the US are around 80%, so that puts the current % of Christian tards around 37%.


You might also want to add the Islam to that. I was given to believe that the Muslims have a higher percentage of young earthers.  If you want to look outside the US, a per capita for the whole earth I wounder if you got all the young earth types together which would out number the other?
 
2013-10-09 02:25:42 PM  
I'd have left this.
upload.wikimedia.org

// but that's just me
// have you heard the Good Words of Hinds/Dailor/Sanders/Keliher?
 
2013-10-09 02:26:03 PM  
Just a tusk! How the hell are you supposed to eat that?
 
2013-10-09 02:27:48 PM  

IamAwake: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

further, 99.99999999% of the people who believe in creation versus spontaneous no-primary-cause event are perfectly ok with the idea that the Earth is billions of years old, and that the universe is some age far, far beyond that.


Yeah, no. 60% of Americans believe in a young creation or something similar.  Don't confuse my refusing to rush to judgement of these folks with tacit approval of creationism in general, it's absolute nonsense.
 
2013-10-09 02:35:44 PM  

meanmutton: Are you trying to suggest that the Catholics and Lutherans believe in New Earth Creationism?


That's not the church position, but plenty of lay people are anti-evolution.

The fundamentalists are so loud that their belief in the Bible as literal truth is treated as the default "Christian" view, even by some Catholics.
 
2013-10-09 02:42:50 PM  

jaytkay: meanmutton: Are you trying to suggest that the Catholics and Lutherans believe in New Earth Creationism?

That's not the church position, but plenty of lay people are anti-evolution.

The fundamentalists are so loud that their belief in the Bible as literal truth is treated as the default "Christian" view, even by some Catholics.


Yeah, you're always going to get some of that.  The "branches" we've established for Christianity disguise the fact that when you believe something without good reason, you can believe whatever variation pleases you with minimal alteration to your modes of thinking.  Crossing over happens with memes just as much as genes.
 
2013-10-09 02:45:44 PM  
A 12000 year old tooth? It just goes to show you how antiquated Christian molars are.
 
2013-10-09 02:47:19 PM  

jaytkay: meanmutton: Are you trying to suggest that the Catholics and Lutherans believe in New Earth Creationism?

That's not the church position, but plenty of lay people are anti-evolution.

The fundamentalists are so loud that their belief in the Bible as literal truth is treated as the default "Christian" view, even by some Catholics.



And this is the standard problem of all "groups" of people arguing on the internet, with extreme minorities in each group having the loudest volume and online representation, giving the world a distorted view of the group as a whole.

It holds for religion, politics, science, just about everything.

/Except all Detroit Redwings fans ARE d*cks - that's not an illusion.
 
2013-10-09 02:50:44 PM  

jaytkay: meanmutton: Are you trying to suggest that the Catholics and Lutherans believe in New Earth Creationism?

That's not the church position, but plenty of lay people are anti-evolution.

The fundamentalists are so loud that their belief in the Bible as literal truth is treated as the default "Christian" view, even by some Catholics.


It also doesn't help that the loudest and least-informed of the so-called New Atheists hold exactly the same belief, just standing on the other side of the "us-vs-them" dividing line.

But yeah, the numbers are depressing.  I and a lot of the other profs at the Christian college where I work are doing what we can.
 
2013-10-09 02:56:54 PM  
The only person trolling here is subby
 
2013-10-09 02:57:44 PM  

cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream Christians working across denominations to help the poor.


Amen Bro.... The Earth is at least 4 Billion years old and the universe at least 18 Billion years old.
/Missouri Synod Lutheran
 
2013-10-09 02:59:52 PM  
Mastadon means "nipple tooth."
 
2013-10-09 03:02:55 PM  

cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream Christians working across denominations to help the poor.


I was about to point that out. A Pope has even given a Buddy-Jesus thumb's up to evolution theory. Okay, so it took a while, but that still puts them way ahead of the Baptists.
 
2013-10-09 03:11:41 PM  

cptjeff: Two16: cptjeff: meanmutton: Two16: cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream working across denominations to help the poor.


[www.troll.me image 550x550]

Are you trying to suggest that the Catholics and Lutherans believe in New Earth Creationism?

I do believe that that's exactly what he's trying to suggest. Which would make him a moron or a troll. But then, I repeat myself.

[shapingperceptions.files.wordpress.com image 181x158]

It's a reference to a Twain quote:

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. - Mark Twain

\Still applicable today.


Wow, a "Mark Twain" quote?!?!!  GOLLY GOSH BUT YOU'RE THE MASTER NOW BY GUM!!

www.smile-day.net
 
2013-10-09 03:12:51 PM  

DeathCipris: "Anonymous donor leaves 12,000-year-old mastodon tusk"

You mean tooth...

/Reading fail, subbs


Well, there's this:
The tooth is broken into two parts and is covered in lacquer. A tusk, also covered in lacquer, is hollow at one end and also may be from a mastodon.

but yeah, they haven't confirmed that one yet I guess.  That charity evidently believes a lot of things that haven't been confirmed though.
 
2013-10-09 03:13:30 PM  

ISO15693: /Except all Detroit Redwings fans ARE d*cks - that's not an illusion.


Scoreboard.
 
2013-10-09 03:15:46 PM  

This text is now purple: ISO15693: /Except all Detroit Redwings fans ARE d*cks - that's not an illusion.

Scoreboard.


(high five) - although you are supposed to say that to the fans of the losing team.
 
2013-10-09 03:23:15 PM  

ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.


i.imgur.com

FTFA: "The Christian charity, called In The Image, turned the find over to the Grand Rapids Public Museum, which is adding them to its collection. "
 
2013-10-09 03:24:39 PM  

Two16: Wow, a "Mark Twain" quote?!?!!  GOLLY GOSH BUT YOU'RE THE MASTER NOW BY GUM!!


The point was that it wasn't some pretentious comment worthy of snark. I see variations on it all the time here on fark, it's a relatively common reference.

Simmer down, dumbass.
 
2013-10-09 03:27:03 PM  

Two16: pedobearapproved: R.A.Danny: This just in, all Christians think the world is 6,000 years old.

step 1. accuse christians of using poor logic
step 2. attack a narrow belief that only a few of them hold using a straw man logical fallacy
step 3. act like you did something


[dailypicksandflicks.com image 600x552]


You should warn a brother when you post something that's NSFP.


Also, Satan last heard saying "I AM COMPLETE!!!! YES YOU ARE F*CKED! shiat OUT OF LUCK! I AM COMPLETE AND MY COCK YOU MUST SUCK!"

/clearly obscure
 
2013-10-09 03:36:04 PM  

cptjeff: Two16: Wow, a "Mark Twain" quote?!?!!  GOLLY GOSH BUT YOU'RE THE MASTER NOW BY GUM!!

The point was that it wasn't some pretentious comment worthy of snark. I see variations on it all the time here on fark, it's a relatively common reference.

Simmer down, dumbass.


It's pronounced "Dumas".
 
2013-10-09 03:47:04 PM  
Oh, that Hans Voralberg. Always up to something!
 
2013-10-09 03:51:14 PM  

ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.



Subby thinks all Christians believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old...
 
2013-10-09 03:56:28 PM  

MonoChango: cptjeff: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

Just pulled up their website, and there's nothing there either. These guys ain't fundie nuts- they work with Catholic Charities, Lutherans, and a bunch of other nonprofits, faith based and secular. They look like they're mainstream Christians working across denominations to help the poor.

I grew up as a Lutheran (ELCA) and now attend a Catholic church,  Both as a matter of theology believe in scientific proof of Darwinism and the Big Bang.  In fact my Sunday school teacher gave me a scientific book about dinosaurs when I was 10.  I'm thinking these guys would be very happy to take a Mastodon tusk, sell it and use the money for their mission.


Their mission of peddling bullshiat and asking to get paid for it? Just because they changed their positions (the Catholic Church was predominantly or entirely creationist at one time), does not mean that they aren't charlatans and hucksters paying themselves with money for 'charity'.
 
2013-10-09 04:03:22 PM  

Nrokreffefp: (the Catholic Church was predominantly or entirely creationist at one time)


Uh, was this since about 1850?  I ask because creationism didn't exist before Darwin first used the term in the mid-19th century.

/at least, according to theory
 
2013-10-09 04:25:17 PM  

Office Ninja: IamAwake: ikanreed: Trolling?  There's nothing in the article to suggest the charity had creationist backings.

further, 99.99999999% of the people who believe in creation versus spontaneous no-primary-cause event are perfectly ok with the idea that the Earth is billions of years old, and that the universe is some age far, far beyond that.

THIS!

Oh, and this!
Evolution, not intelligent design, is fundamental Catholic teaching, Vatican Observatory director says


http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=18524


In his remarks, he also criticizes the cardinal archbishop of Vienna's support for Intelligent Design and notes that Pope John Paul's declaration that "evolution is no longer a mere hypothesis" is "a fundamental church teaching" which advances the evolutionary debate. He calls "mistaken" the belief that the Bible should be used "as a source of scientific knowledge," which then serves to "unduly complicate the debate over evolution."


I just find it strange that they even have to debate this among themselves.
 
2013-10-09 04:26:44 PM  

MBooda: Nrokreffefp: (the Catholic Church was predominantly or entirely creationist at one time)

Uh, was this since about 1850?  I ask because creationism didn't exist before Darwin first used the term in the mid-19th century.

/at least, according to theory



In 1868, John Henry Newman, later to be made Cardinal, corresponded with a fellow priest regarding Darwin's theory and made the following comments: As to the Divine Design, is it not an instance of incomprehensibly and infinitely marvellous Wisdom and Design to have given certain laws to matter millions of ages ago, which have surely and precisely worked out, in the long course of those ages, those effects which He from the first proposed. Mr. Darwin's theory need not then to be atheistical, be it true or not; it may simply be suggesting a larger idea of Divine Prescience and Skill. Perhaps your friend has got a surer clue to guide him than I have, who have never studied the question, and I do not [see] that 'the accidental evolution of organic beings' is inconsistent with divine design-It is accidental to us, not to God.

Looks like it took 100 years for a pope to say anything official on the subject, but that was the general belief pretty much all along, that God set up an elaborate math equation and/or made changes in real time, with a grand plan to eventually create sentient humans.
 
Ant
2013-10-09 04:37:53 PM  
I don't get the impression that this Christian charity is run by young-Earth creationists, subby. I could be wrong, of course.

Not trolling at all, in my opinion.
 
Ant
2013-10-09 04:39:06 PM  

DeathCipris: "Anonymous donor leaves 12,000-year-old mastodon tusk"

You mean tooth...

/Reading fail, subbs


Fun Fact: Mastodon means "nipple tooth"
 
2013-10-09 04:46:23 PM  

MonoChango: You might also want to add the Islam to that.


No.  In the US, Islam is less than 1%.  I'm not interested in expanding the discussion to the rest of the world, for a number of reasons, but one good one is that solid and comparable data is a lot harder to come by because Gallup don't poll bushmen and mongolians and amazon natives and shinto priests about their beliefs.  I'm not going to dig into anthropology journals to get aggregate info, when we can concentrate on the dumbasses right here in the USA.

A crucial point is that, if you read this thread there is huge confirmation bias going on.  People go to THEIR church where everyone is basically sane and reasonable and sorta educated.  Even if it's only 5% idiots in a particular church, those people don't tend to speak up about believing that the world is 6000 years old when surrounded by the 95% not dumb people who would tend to belittle such beliefs.   What's amazing is that the people posting here have apparently never been to a true fundamentalist service, or talked about these issues in depth with born-agains for example, where such views are a clear majority.  No one could come away from such experiences and think that nearly all Christians are OK with the billion year thing.

It's fascinating in a way.

lecavalier: I just find it strange that they even have to debate this among themselves.


The Catholic Church only admitted some mistake in trying Galileo for heresy in 1992, and formally apologized in 2008 after they realized how embarrassing it was for the Pope to be denied speaking privileges at some universities because they were STILL equivocating.  Over the farking devil having something to do with telescopes and seeing the moons orbiting Jupiter.  These are the serious people wearing robes in the Vatican muttering in Latin.
 
2013-10-09 05:35:25 PM  

WTP 2: ...and was promptly  used as a coat hanger...


For the most heretical abortion of all time.
 
2013-10-09 05:36:26 PM  

Bacontastesgood: The Catholic Church only admitted some mistake in trying Galileo for heresy in 1992, and formally apologized in 2008 after they realized how embarrassing it was for the Pope to be denied speaking privileges at some universities because they were STILL equivocating. Over the farking devil having something to do with telescopes and seeing the moons orbiting Jupiter. These are the serious people wearing robes in the Vatican muttering in Latin.


The Church dropped its opposition to heliocentrism in the 1700s.
 
2013-10-09 05:47:01 PM  
Money or the 2,000 year old earth?
 
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