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(The Courier)   Judge, "Sorry, but you are dead." Petitioner, "But I'm feeling better. I think I'll go for a walk"   (thecourier.com) divider line 69
    More: Strange, Hancock County  
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8755 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2013 at 12:33 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-09 08:16:34 AM
Robin Miller opposed his request for a change in the death ruling, because she does not want to repay the Social Security benefits. She does not have the money, she said.

Robin Miller said it would be fine if his Social Security number was reinstated. She said she sympathizes with him, but points to his decisions.


Well then make HIM repay the Social Security death benefits. He's the one that disappeared without a trace for eight years.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-10-09 08:22:36 AM
He owed about $26,000 in overdue child support by 1994, she has said.

So many questions here.

Nothing short of death erases child support obligations. Does death erase them? Can he take out student loans and not pay?

Courts dismiss criminal cases if the defendant dies before the final appeal. Does he have a license to kill?

Would the IRS refuse to process a tax return, and if so can he claim a zillion exemptions and work tax free?
 
2013-10-09 09:22:44 AM
I think this guy's only option now is zany reality show.
 
2013-10-09 09:30:08 AM

NutWrench: Robin Miller opposed his request for a change in the death ruling, because she does not want to repay the Social Security benefits. She does not have the money, she said.

Robin Miller said it would be fine if his Social Security number was reinstated. She said she sympathizes with him, but points to his decisions.

Well then make HIM repay the Social Security death benefits. He's the one that disappeared without a trace for eight years.


I can see how he would still owe his support payments or whatever, but not the death benefits.  He didn't have himself declared dead, and it's not illegal to disappear.

But really, I don't get why the law isn't "if you're alive, you're alive" rather than some three-year limit.
 
2013-10-09 09:50:59 AM
Sounds like an alchie that wants to get on the social security disability gravy train but has screwed the social security system already so they don't want him back.
 
2013-10-09 11:10:37 AM
If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.
 
2013-10-09 11:16:34 AM

MrBallou: If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.


It doesn't mean he can't be detained, and since he's dead he has no right to habeus corpus.
 
2013-10-09 12:11:42 PM
So he can go and get an under-the-table job and pay no taxes.  The IRS can't come after a dead guy and they can't arrest him because he's dead.

Maybe he can go and rob a bank.
 
2013-10-09 12:16:19 PM

naughtyrev: I think this guy's only option now is zany reality show.


He should go live in an international airport.  Then sell his story to Tom Hanks.
 
2013-10-09 12:39:45 PM

naughtyrev: MrBallou: If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.

It doesn't mean he can't be detained, and since he's dead he has no right to habeus corpus.


Also, if he's legally dead, could he be murdered without consequence?

/I think I saw that in a movie.
 
2013-10-09 12:39:58 PM
I think the Hotblack Desiato Rule is that you only spend one year dead for taxes.

/how many years must you stay dead to avoid child support? 42?
 
GBB
2013-10-09 12:40:00 PM
i1.ytimg.com
But, I'm feeling much better now.
 
2013-10-09 12:40:41 PM
Faced similar problems
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-10-09 12:41:23 PM
 
2013-10-09 12:44:32 PM

naughtyrev: MrBallou: If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.

It doesn't mean he can't be detained, and since he's dead he has no right to habeus corpus.


But they'll never be able to sentence him to life.

Lot's of weird side effects here:
1. If he has sex with someone is his partner now a necrophiliac?
2. If you kill him would you be charged with murder even though he is already legally dead? Or would it be considered desecration of a corpse?
3. Since he is legally dead but still moving around should he be considered a high functioning zombie?
 
2013-10-09 12:45:46 PM
metsmerizedonline.com
He's not getting his mail, either.
 
2013-10-09 12:46:24 PM

ZAZ: He owed about $26,000 in overdue child support by 1994, she has said.

So many questions here.

Nothing short of death erases child support obligations. Does death erase them? Can he take out student loans and not pay?

Courts dismiss criminal cases if the defendant dies before the final appeal. Does he have a license to kill?

Would the IRS refuse to process a tax return, and if so can he claim a zillion exemptions and work tax free?


Except he no longer has a social security number, which is required for taxes and taking out loans.
 
2013-10-09 12:48:34 PM

Relatively Obscure: NutWrench: Robin Miller opposed his request for a change in the death ruling, because she does not want to repay the Social Security benefits. She does not have the money, she said.

Robin Miller said it would be fine if his Social Security number was reinstated. She said she sympathizes with him, but points to his decisions.

Well then make HIM repay the Social Security death benefits. He's the one that disappeared without a trace for eight years.

I can see how he would still owe his support payments or whatever, but not the death benefits.  He didn't have himself declared dead, and it's not illegal to disappear.

But really, I don't get why the law isn't "if you're alive, you're alive" rather than some three-year limit.


It has to do with if a person is lost at sea. After three years they are legally dead.
 
2013-10-09 12:49:23 PM
We are long overdue to pass zombie rights legislation. He should be able to get a Certificate of Reanimation without all this talk that it would destroy the sanctity of birth.
 
2013-10-09 12:49:54 PM
andrewcarr.org

But I'm not dead yet.
 
2013-10-09 12:52:40 PM
He is legally dead and walking?!?!

ZOMBIE!!!!
 
2013-10-09 12:54:10 PM
Can he just go around breaking any law he wants now?  After all, he is dead as far as the law is concerned.
 
2013-10-09 12:57:42 PM
The law is a ass.
 
2013-10-09 12:57:45 PM
This is actually really common in India, and it can be foisted upon you without your knowing. Your relatives claim that you're dead to get their inheritance or a rival claims you're dead to get your land or something and thanks to the corruption and Byzantine bureaucracy of India, you stay legally dead for a long time, possibly even until it becomes true.
 
2013-10-09 01:01:18 PM
King of the road.
 
2013-10-09 01:01:33 PM
The inevitable movie: Adam Sandler is an irresponsible slacker who runs from his family responsibilities. Years later a fateful meeting with a wise old black man opens his eyes and he vows to return and make things right. But hold on, he's been declared dead and the law can't do anything about it. His family hates him for running and he can't do anything real because he doesn't legally exist. In a drunken stupor he causes an accident that embarrasses the town mayor. The same mayor who wants to demolish his family's neighborhood to make way for a new golf course. But the mayor can't even charge Sandler, put him in jail, or sue him because he's legally dead.
Sandler becomes famous as the No Consequences Man. Legions of reporters and fans follow him as he commits one crime after the other trying to take down the mayor. Finally, with the help of a wacky crew of other legally dead people he saves the neighborhood and wins back his family.
 
2013-10-09 01:05:09 PM
suggestions:

1.  He is an illegal alien (with no country to deport to)
2.  if "dead" and someone kills him the penalty would be abusing a corpse.
3.  he could take up the sex trade for necrophilliacs
4.  he owes/pays no taxes, cannot do jury duty, cant drive a car or own property
however any money earned is all his.
5.
 
2013-10-09 01:07:54 PM
He's spending the next three years dead for tax purposes.
 
2013-10-09 01:08:25 PM

Relatively Obscure: But really, I don't get why the law isn't "if you're alive, you're alive" rather than some three-year limit.


It's the time limit to challenge the ruling which declared him dead.  It wouldn't necessarily be challenged only by the "deceased".  An insurance company might present evidence that the person was likely to be running from debts rather than dead, or something similar.  Similarly, the ex-wife opposed the ruling being changed, and it didn't mean she thought he was a zombie or imposter.

Also, it would be hard to undo the effects over a decade later, and in some cases it may not be reasonable to try.  They should probably just reinstate the social security number and not try to fix the previously settled financial matters...  though that could also be abused.
 
2013-10-09 01:08:48 PM

Decillion: The inevitable movie: Adam Sandler is an irresponsible slacker who runs from his family responsibilities. Years later a fateful meeting with a wise old black man opens his eyes and he vows to return and make things right. But hold on, he's been declared dead and the law can't do anything about it. His family hates him for running and he can't do anything real because he doesn't legally exist. In a drunken stupor he causes an accident that embarrasses the town mayor. The same mayor who wants to demolish his family's neighborhood to make way for a new golf course. But the mayor can't even charge Sandler, put him in jail, or sue him because he's legally dead.
Sandler becomes famous as the No Consequences Man. Legions of reporters and fans follow him as he commits one crime after the other trying to take down the mayor. Finally, with the help of a wacky crew of other legally dead people he saves the neighborhood and wins back his family.


I'd buy the rights to that.
 
2013-10-09 01:11:52 PM

Decillion: The inevitable movie: Adam Sandler is an irresponsible slacker who runs from his family responsibilities. Years later a fateful meeting with a wise old black man opens his eyes and he vows to return and make things right. But hold on, he's been declared dead and the law can't do anything about it. His family hates him for running and he can't do anything real because he doesn't legally exist. In a drunken stupor he causes an accident that embarrasses the town mayor. The same mayor who wants to demolish his family's neighborhood to make way for a new golf course. But the mayor can't even charge Sandler, put him in jail, or sue him because he's legally dead.
Sandler becomes famous as the No Consequences Man. Legions of reporters and fans follow him as he commits one crime after the other trying to take down the mayor. Finally, with the help of a wacky crew of other legally dead people he saves the neighborhood and wins back his family.


Still a better love story than Twilight.
 
2013-10-09 01:12:34 PM
He just needs a fresh birth certificate.
 
2013-10-09 01:13:49 PM

Decillion: The inevitable movie: Adam Sandler is an irresponsible slacker who runs from his family responsibilities. Years later a fateful meeting with a wise old black man opens his eyes and he vows to return and make things right. But hold on, he's been declared dead and the law can't do anything about it. His family hates him for running and he can't do anything real because he doesn't legally exist. In a drunken stupor he causes an accident that embarrasses the town mayor. The same mayor who wants to demolish his family's neighborhood to make way for a new golf course. But the mayor can't even charge Sandler, put him in jail, or sue him because he's legally dead.
Sandler becomes famous as the No Consequences Man. Legions of reporters and fans follow him as he commits one crime after the other trying to take down the mayor. Finally, with the help of a wacky crew of other legally dead people he saves the neighborhood and wins back his family.


Damn you. If Sandler gets a hold of this idea and makes it with the cast of "Grown Ups" I'm going to track you down.
 
2013-10-09 01:15:22 PM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-09 01:15:26 PM

uncleacid: King of the road.


King O Frod.
 
2013-10-09 01:15:26 PM
Poor life decisions.
 
2013-10-09 01:18:18 PM
He should go to one of those "born again" churches. Problem solved.
 
2013-10-09 01:24:21 PM

naughtyrev: MrBallou: If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.

It doesn't mean he can't be detained, and since he's dead he has no right to habeus corpus.


Is it a rule in habeus corpus that the corpus has to be alive?
 
2013-10-09 01:24:24 PM

thatboyoverthere: It has to do with if a person is lost at sea. After three years they are legally dead.


No, no, I get the declaring someone dead but I didn't get the "Yeah but here I am--" "Nope, law says you're dead" bit.


ErinPac: It's the time limit to challenge the ruling which declared him dead. It wouldn't necessarily be challenged only by the "deceased". An insurance company might present evidence that the person was likely to be running from debts rather than dead, or something similar.


Yeah, I guess that makes some sense.  Still, you'd think there'd be a "FFS HERE I AM"

ErinPac: Similarly, the ex-wife opposed the ruling being changed, and it didn't mean she thought he was a zombie or imposter.


I understood that.  Not really sure she should have a say in whether or not he's alive or dead if he's actually showing up to court, but whatever.
 
2013-10-09 01:25:00 PM

Relatively Obscure: Yeah, I guess that makes some sense. Still, you'd think there'd be a "FFS HERE I AM"

clause

/Forgotted me a word.
 
2013-10-09 01:26:57 PM
What a wierd situation.

Either the judge is a Republican or the whole thing is Obama's fault.
 
2013-10-09 01:29:55 PM

naughtyrev: MrBallou: If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.

It doesn't mean he can't be detained, and since he's dead he has no right to habeus corpus.


But in order to convict you'd have to prove in court that he's alive. Can't convict a dead man.
 
2013-10-09 01:31:59 PM
affordablehousinginstitute.org
Turns out the judge is also a pet store owner.
 
2013-10-09 01:32:30 PM

Princess Ryans Knickers: naughtyrev: MrBallou: If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.

It doesn't mean he can't be detained, and since he's dead he has no right to habeus corpus.

But in order to convict you'd have to prove in court that he's alive. Can't convict a dead man.


Do you need a conviction to imprison a dead guy?  I'm guessing this guy might have some insight into how these matters might work:

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-09 01:38:17 PM

susler: What a wierd situation.

Either the judge is a Republican or the whole thing is Obama's fault.


One day... one glorious day, Fark will go a full 24 hours without partisan derp. We shall have an article about chinchillas -or anything you can imagine!- without someone ruining it with "lol you just know that the chinchilla was a libtard derpublican" followed by "wtf? Did he really just bring politics into an article about an adorable chinchilla? Really?"

And on this day, the clouds will part and the universe will bestow upon us infinite access to anything you ever wanted to know and the ability to leisurely explore any place that has ever existed without the burden of death, distance, hunger, or hate.
 
2013-10-09 01:40:20 PM

Itstoearly: Except he no longer has a social security number, which is required for taxes and taking out loans.


Social Security number isn't required for paying taxes. Anybody can get a Taxpayer Identification Number and pay that way.

There is actually a fair number of illegal immigrants that do just that, so in the off chance they get caught by the INS, the fact that they've been paying taxes really ups their chances of not getting deported.
 
2013-10-09 01:43:14 PM

Princess Ryans Knickers: naughtyrev: MrBallou: If he's dead, he can't be charged with a crime, right? He should totally go on a crime spree.

It doesn't mean he can't be detained, and since he's dead he has no right to habeus corpus.

But in order to convict you'd have to prove in court that he's alive. Can't convict a dead man.


Yeah, but it still doesn't mean he can't be detained indefinitely without ever being charged with anything.
 
2013-10-09 01:57:42 PM
Rob some banks.

If arrested, when you go to court say, "not guilty on account I was dead when the crime was committed".

Profit.
 
2013-10-09 02:00:14 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Being dead can make one feel like a shadow of one's self.
 
2013-10-09 02:23:46 PM

chappy62: But I'm not dead yet.


You will be in a moment.
 
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