If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NPR)   "When I eat regular Oreos, I want a glass of milk. When I eat these, I want a glass of poison"   (npr.org) divider line 45
    More: Fail, Oreos, Dr. Frankenstein, Wait Wait, Play-Doh, serving sizes, eva, Nabisco, special editions  
•       •       •

6761 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Oct 2013 at 8:52 AM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-09 08:55:58 AM
Let the madness stop here.
I stood there for two minutes trying to find NORMAL Oreos among the million five hundred thousand novelty flavors.

/Note to Nabisco: Don't fark with a good thing, idiots.
//MBA marketing morons, how do they fark up a brand.
 
2013-10-09 09:06:30 AM
I've had the candy corn starburst and they taste just like candy corn.

/ I hate candy corn.
 
2013-10-09 09:08:40 AM
Nobody has ever said it better than Lewis Black:

i.huffpost.com

The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!

I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, "Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like candy". (bites) "This tastes like crap!" And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzhiemer's patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait". (bites) Son of a biatch!"
 
2013-10-09 09:12:33 AM
Caramel candy corn is pretty damn good.
 
2013-10-09 09:17:17 AM
Where did this whole meme of things being so bad as to make reviewers want to commit suicide even come from, anyway?
 
2013-10-09 09:20:10 AM
These, however, are an absolute must. If you don't try them you are indeed missing out on something special.

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-10-09 09:20:15 AM
At least it isn't pumpkin flavored.
 
2013-10-09 09:26:16 AM

khhsdude: At least it isn't pumpkin flavored.


Dammit.
 
2013-10-09 09:27:23 AM
I haven't tried these, but it's hard to imagine they're worse than the "birthday cake" Oreos.
 
2013-10-09 09:30:24 AM
Mike Tyson shown for scale.
 
2013-10-09 09:34:19 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Let the madness stop here.
I stood there for two minutes trying to find NORMAL Oreos among the million five hundred thousand novelty flavors.

/Note to Nabisco: Don't fark with a good thing, idiots.
//MBA marketing morons, how do they fark up a brand.


The mint and peanut butter ones are good. Originals are still the best with a big glass of milk though. The others can burn in hell.
 
2013-10-09 09:37:34 AM
What do you drink with Hydrox?
 
2013-10-09 09:42:59 AM
Why would you ruin perfectly good candy corn with stupid Oreos?
 
2013-10-09 09:43:47 AM
Don't you love how they rant about how bad it is, and the final verdict is not great but better than expected and surprisingly addictive? I don't have any plans to buy these but it's strange the reviews weren't more mixed in that case.

Big Beef Burrito: What do you drink with Hydrox?


Sand; it makes your mouth less dry than just eating the cookie after all.
 
2013-10-09 09:47:20 AM
This is precisely why NPR is so well known for their comedy.
 
2013-10-09 09:51:09 AM
The last time I got suckered in with novelty Oreos, I realized if I closed my eyes, they still tasted right.  They just looked awful.  Then I noticed they smaller weights on the packages, so I went right back to original Oreos.  Screw the pretty colors and "New" taste combinations.
 
2013-10-09 09:51:58 AM

Big Beef Burrito: What do you drink with Hydrox?


I've never been able to get behind a cookie that sounds like the name of a hazardous chemical.

/since Oreos are so full of natural goodness...
 
2013-10-09 09:52:41 AM

Big Beef Burrito: What do you drink with Hydrox?


farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-10-09 09:59:02 AM
I used to like Oreos, but at some point the recipe changed; the filling is grainy, and the cookie breaks when you try to twist the cookie apart. So now I eat Newman-O's instead.
www.newmansownorganics.com
/hot
 
2013-10-09 10:07:48 AM
A package of the mint Oreos lasts about 5 seconds in my house thanks to my three kids. I'm lucky if I get even one. Heck, I'm lucky if I even find out there's a package of them in the house.

Originals are still the best.
 
2013-10-09 10:09:33 AM
Candy corn mixed with peanuts is actually pretty damn good. I have no idea why anyone would want to eat them by themselves though.
 
2013-10-09 10:10:12 AM

Yes please: This is precisely why NPR is so well known for their comedy.


Sandwich Monday and Wait...Wait...Don't Tell Me are funny.  Your comment is bad and you should feel bad.
 
2013-10-09 10:15:36 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Let the madness stop here.
I stood there for two minutes trying to find NORMAL Oreos among the million five hundred thousand novelty flavors.

/Note to Nabisco: Don't fark with a good thing, idiots.
//MBA marketing morons, how do they fark up a brand.


Mint Oreos are the only ones I eat. They can keep those.
 
2013-10-09 10:16:39 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: So now I eat Newman-O's instead.


www.thezerosbeforetheone.com
 
2013-10-09 10:18:36 AM
Steak, Egg, and Cheese McMuffin review.

"The difference between the picture in the ads and what we actually got is at match.com levels of deception."
 
2013-10-09 10:31:26 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Let the madness stop here.
I stood there for two minutes trying to find NORMAL Oreos among the million five hundred thousand novelty flavors.


There is a saying about consumerism that is something like, "Deciding between five things is a choice. Choosing from five hundred things is a burden."

Needless to say, I hate shopping.
 
2013-10-09 10:33:46 AM
www.quiterly.com
 
2013-10-09 10:40:59 AM

Yes please: This is precisely why NPR is so well known for their comedy.


Dane Cook is well known for his comedy.
 
2013-10-09 11:00:48 AM
Man, I can't wait when they do their next article, "How Pointless, Effeminate Food Reviewers Eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup."

Seriously, though, an "article" that consists of four pictures and nine lines of dialogue, created solely to generate vertical page length for advertising, is greenlit on FARK?
 
2013-10-09 11:06:31 AM

Night Night Cream Puff: HotIgneous Intruder: Let the madness stop here.
I stood there for two minutes trying to find NORMAL Oreos among the million five hundred thousand novelty flavors.

/Note to Nabisco: Don't fark with a good thing, idiots.
//MBA marketing morons, how do they fark up a brand.

The mint and peanut butter ones are good. Originals are still the best with a big glass of milk though. The others can burn in hell.


Problem is they don't burn...

They melt

Like plastic.

Bored around a campfire can make for some intriguing scientific discoveries!
 
2013-10-09 11:13:27 AM
Dinosaur Dracula (fmr. X-Entertainment) did this better a year ago. Like, way better. Matt's life is about consuming awful crap and writing about it.

Does he still log into Fark from time to time?
 
2013-10-09 11:15:42 AM

FormlessOne: Man, I can't wait when they do their next article, "How Pointless, Effeminate Food Reviewers Eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup."

Seriously, though, an "article" that consists of four pictures and nine lines of dialogue, created solely to generate vertical page length for advertising, is greenlit on FARK?


It's a food blog, not a news article. And it's NPR. The only advertising is links to other NPR stuff. Not entirely unlike all that stuff in the gray margins here that I ensmallen my browser window so I don't have to see.
 
2013-10-09 11:33:04 AM
I had them, they were yummy. They smelled more like candy corn than actually tasting like candy corn which was a little disappointing, It tasted more like plain buttermilk frosting stuffed between two cookies.
 
2013-10-09 11:45:13 AM

chimp_ninja: Yes please: This is precisely why NPR is so well known for their comedy.

Sandwich Monday and Wait...Wait...Don't Tell Me are funny.  Your comment is bad and you should feel bad.


This was Sandwich Monday. I stand by my original comment.
 
2013-10-09 12:24:01 PM

FormlessOne: Man, I can't wait when they do their next article, "How Pointless, Effeminate Food Reviewers Eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup."

Seriously, though, an "article" that consists of four pictures and nine lines of dialogue, created solely to generate vertical page length for advertising, is greenlit on FARK?


This!
 
2013-10-09 12:38:01 PM

someonelse: FormlessOne: Man, I can't wait when they do their next article, "How Pointless, Effeminate Food Reviewers Eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup."

Seriously, though, an "article" that consists of four pictures and nine lines of dialogue, created solely to generate vertical page length for advertising, is greenlit on FARK?

It's a food blog, not a news article. And it's NPR. The only advertising is links to other NPR stuff. Not entirely unlike all that stuff in the gray margins here that I ensmallen my browser window so I don't have to see.


Still, though - NPR's known not for this kind of crap, but actual, useful articles & stories. It's friggin' filler, and useless filler at that.
 
2013-10-09 01:06:47 PM

verbaltoxin: Dinosaur Dracula (fmr. X-Entertainment) did this better a year ago. Like, way better. Matt's life is about consuming awful crap and writing about it.

Does he still log into Fark from time to time?


Oh wow, it's been so long since I visited that site, I didn't even know it changed.

The things he'd subject himself to...
 
2013-10-09 02:22:48 PM
If you can find them (and good luck with that, my local Target sold out in half an hour), buy some.

Because they taste good?  Who the hell knows.  Buy them because they are going on eBay for as much as $35 a pack, will be higher in a couple months.
 
2013-10-09 02:52:30 PM

Tyrone Slothrop: I used to like Oreos, but at some point the recipe changed; the filling is grainy, and the cookie breaks when you try to twist the cookie apart. So now I eat Newman-O's instead.


Joe Joes are my knock-off of choice (trader joes)

The lemon oreo wasn't terrible though, only flavor one I think I was willing to try.
 
2013-10-09 03:02:43 PM
static.comicvine.com

does not approve
 
2013-10-09 04:44:13 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: Let the madness stop here.
I stood there for two minutes trying to find NORMAL Oreos among the million five hundred thousand novelty flavors.

/Note to Nabisco: Don't fark with a good thing, idiots.
//MBA marketing morons, how do they fark up a brand.


This times a billion
I hate "Brand Extension" with the passion of 1000 white hot sons.
We can't have Candy Cornos: The Candy Corn Cookie,  instead we get Candy Corn Oreos.
There is zero creativity  so you get a shelf full of Oreo varieties instead of different product lines.
Everyone is trying to be everything to everyone and doing it badly.
Do one thing and do it well.
Also this is why we have chicken wings and tacos at McDonalds.
 
2013-10-09 05:59:12 PM
Newsflash: regular Oreos are gritty chocolate-flavored cookielike objects spackled together with shortening whipped with sugar. You only eat them because you ate them as a child, and you only ate them as a child because your parents ate them as children. If they were a new product none of the pretentious twats who wrote the article would be any kinder to them than they are this version.

Also, Hydrox came first.
 
2013-10-09 07:55:35 PM

chimp_ninja: Steak, Egg, and Cheese McMuffin review.

"The difference between the picture in the ads and what we actually got is at match.com levels of deception."


img.weburbanist.com
 
2013-10-09 09:17:09 PM
Oreo cookies in ANY form are vile! Hydrox was the first and BEST by far sandwich cookie but they don't make them any more. Since I find Oreo repulsive I will never eat a sandwich cookie again and that makes me sad.
 
2013-10-09 09:26:50 PM

Big Beef Burrito: What do you drink with Hydrox?


Hydrox should not be ingested in it's original form. It needs to be processed first into the foundation of a Cookie Puss to truly be delicious.

i1.ytimg.com
 
Displayed 45 of 45 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report