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(The New York Times)   Mergers over the past few years means that Starbucks' plan to burn your upscale hipster tea, hippie juice, and yuppie croissant is progressing nicely. "I'll have a double decaf half caf tall chocolate milf croissant triple whipped with extra whip"   (nytimes.com) divider line 28
    More: Interesting, Starbucks, Howard Schultz, Panera Bread, Evolution Fresh, teas, mergers, Electricity, chocolates  
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500 clicks; posted to Business » on 09 Oct 2013 at 9:09 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-09 07:28:37 AM  
Chocolate MILF croissant is the name of my KISS cover band.
 
2013-10-09 07:37:19 AM  
Steve Martin, but I'll be damned if I can remember the movie.  L.A. Story?
 
2013-10-09 08:44:19 AM  
Quadruple Espressinoso Super Grande Light Blueberries And Cream Half-Soy Full City Roast Nonfat Half-caf Organic Caramel Vanilla Iced Double-Shot Macchiato Black Tea Chai Foamed Shaken Sugar-free Cinnamon Eggnog Dolce Peppermint Gingerbread Pumpkin Spice Latte Thrice Blended Extra Hot With Three Ice Cubes Hold The Whipped Cream, One Sweet'N Low, and One Nutrasweet
 
2013-10-09 09:15:33 AM  

PainInTheASP: Steve Martin, but I'll be damned if I can remember the movie.  L.A. Story?


Yessir


Tom: I'll have a decaf coffee.
Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.
Morris Frost: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.
Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Tom: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Morris Frost: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Cynthia: I'll have a twist of lemon.
 
2013-10-09 09:25:49 AM  

kronicfeld: Quadruple Espressinoso Super Grande Light Blueberries And Cream Half-Soy Full City Roast Nonfat Half-caf Organic Caramel Vanilla Iced Double-Shot Macchiato Black Tea Chai Foamed Shaken Sugar-free Cinnamon Eggnog Dolce Peppermint Gingerbread Pumpkin Spice Latte Thrice Blended Extra Hot With Three Ice Cubes Hold The Whipped Cream, One Sweet'N Low, and One Nutrasweet



This is exactly why I won't go to Starbucks. Not only does their coffee taste like the beans were roasted on the 81st floor of the South Tower, but the lengthy ordering of the hipster-douche customers is annoying as hell.

I'll just stick to DD, thank you.
 
2013-10-09 09:40:47 AM  
I don't drink coffee, but stopped at a Starbucks in an airport last week because I wanted something quick to munch on and their blueberry muffins looked good....ordered a muffin and a milk and the woman acted like I had ordered poached dinosaur eggs or something...

Her; "Milk?"
Me; "yes, milk."
Her; "Steamed milk?"
Me; "No, just regular, 2% milk"
Her; "Just, like, out of the carton?"
Me; "yeah, is that a problem"
Her; "No, just never heard of that"
Me; "WTF?"

Don't know if this is representative of the average Starbuck employee's intelligence level, but it was a bit weird that she didn't think people drink straight milk.
 
2013-10-09 09:43:07 AM  

chevydeuce: I don't drink coffee, but stopped at a Starbucks in an airport last week because I wanted something quick to munch on and their blueberry muffins looked good....ordered a muffin and a milk and the woman acted like I had ordered poached dinosaur eggs or something...

Her; "Milk?"
Me; "yes, milk."
Her; "Steamed milk?"
Me; "No, just regular, 2% milk"
Her; "Just, like, out of the carton?"
Me; "yeah, is that a problem"
Her; "No, just never heard of that"
Me; "WTF?"

Don't know if this is representative of the average Starbuck employee's intelligence level, but it was a bit weird that she didn't think people drink straight milk.


I haven't had milk in probably 20 years. Maybe more.
 
2013-10-09 09:51:12 AM  

chevydeuce


I don't drink coffee, but stopped at a Starbucks in an airport last week because I wanted something quick to munch on and their blueberry muffins looked good....ordered a muffin and a milk and the woman acted like I had ordered poached dinosaur eggs or something...
...
Don't know if this is representative of the average Starbuck employee's intelligence level, but it was a bit weird that she didn't think people drink straight milk.


How many people do you think actually go to an airport Starbucks for a glass of milk?

Newsflash: you are not their target demographic.
 
2013-10-09 09:59:16 AM  
Chocolate milf extra whip?

images.wikia.com

/ Or hot, alternatively...
 
2013-10-09 10:12:58 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: chevydeuce

I don't drink coffee, but stopped at a Starbucks in an airport last week because I wanted something quick to munch on and their blueberry muffins looked good....ordered a muffin and a milk and the woman acted like I had ordered poached dinosaur eggs or something...
...
Don't know if this is representative of the average Starbuck employee's intelligence level, but it was a bit weird that she didn't think people drink straight milk.


How many people do you think actually go to an airport Starbucks for a glass of milk?

Newsflash: you are not their target demographic.


I get that, and yes, I'm sure it is not a common occurence....but this woman acted like she had never heard of anybody ever, anywhere, drinking a glass of milk.  It's hard to convey, over the internet, the amount of shock she exhibited.  Just struck me as odd.
 
2013-10-09 10:50:34 AM  
F**k all this shiat. I'm gonna go live in the rain forest in a hollow f**king log.
It's simply insufferable.
 
2013-10-09 10:50:55 AM  
Thank goodness the chocolate milf croissant is a regional thing or I'd be completely broke.
 
2013-10-09 11:19:26 AM  

chevydeuce: Englebert Slaptyback: chevydeuce

I don't drink coffee, but stopped at a Starbucks in an airport last week because I wanted something quick to munch on and their blueberry muffins looked good....ordered a muffin and a milk and the woman acted like I had ordered poached dinosaur eggs or something...
...
Don't know if this is representative of the average Starbuck employee's intelligence level, but it was a bit weird that she didn't think people drink straight milk.


How many people do you think actually go to an airport Starbucks for a glass of milk?

Newsflash: you are not their target demographic.

I get that, and yes, I'm sure it is not a common occurence....but this woman acted like she had never heard of anybody ever, anywhere, drinking a glass of milk.  It's hard to convey, over the internet, the amount of shock she exhibited.  Just struck me as odd.


it was probably shock because she had no idea how to ring you up.  glass of milk is probably not an item on the register, and she was shocked wondering if she had to call her manager.  and shocked that you would do this to her.
 
2013-10-09 12:05:38 PM  
What a "chocolate milf" might look like:

api.ning.com
 
2013-10-09 12:34:19 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: What a "chocolate milf" might look like:

[api.ning.com image 399x600]


That's a man, baby....

/good job on the "tuck"
 
2013-10-09 01:58:16 PM  

chevydeuce: I don't drink coffee, but stopped at a Starbucks in an airport last week because I wanted something quick to munch on and their blueberry muffins looked good....ordered a muffin and a milk and the woman acted like I had ordered poached dinosaur eggs or something...

Her; "Milk?"
Me; "yes, milk."
Her; "Steamed milk?"
Me; "No, just regular, 2% milk"
Her; "Just, like, out of the carton?"
Me; "yeah, is that a problem"
Her; "No, just never heard of that"
Me; "WTF?"

Don't know if this is representative of the average Starbuck employee's intelligence level, but it was a bit weird that she didn't think people drink straight milk.


I worked at one over a decade ago (not at an airport though). I don't think there was an option on their register for just plain cold milk. Three only time I ever heard it requested was for a child.
 
2013-10-09 01:59:25 PM  
*the

F'ing android keyboard
 
2013-10-09 02:04:40 PM  

chevydeuce: DjangoStonereaver: What a "chocolate milf" might look like:

[api.ning.com image 399x600]

That's a man, baby....

/good job on the "tuck"


No.

No she's not.

/Google "Diamond Jackson"
 
2013-10-09 02:12:48 PM  
I hate to break it to Subby, but it's not 1999 anymore.  Neither "hipsters" or "hippies" go to Starbucks.     Obese soccer moms in Des Moines go to Starbucks.
 
2013-10-09 02:31:58 PM  

InmanRoshi: I hate to break it to Subby, but it's not 1999 anymore.  Neither "hipsters" or "hippies" go to Starbucks.     Obese soccer moms in Des Moines go to Starbucks.


My local KFC was just replaced with a Starbucks. That seems a step backward for the development of future obese soccer moms.
 
2013-10-09 06:02:08 PM  

skozlaw: PainInTheASP: Steve Martin, but I'll be damned if I can remember the movie.  L.A. Story?

Yessir


Tom: I'll have a decaf coffee.
Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.
Morris Frost: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.
Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Tom: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Morris Frost: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Cynthia: I'll have a twist of lemon.


Came for this, leaving emotionally erect.

/how is daddy doing?
 
2013-10-09 07:44:06 PM  

pute kisses like a man: chevydeuce: Englebert Slaptyback: chevydeuce

I don't drink coffee, but stopped at a Starbucks in an airport last week because I wanted something quick to munch on and their blueberry muffins looked good....ordered a muffin and a milk and the woman acted like I had ordered poached dinosaur eggs or something...
...
Don't know if this is representative of the average Starbuck employee's intelligence level, but it was a bit weird that she didn't think people drink straight milk.


How many people do you think actually go to an airport Starbucks for a glass of milk?

Newsflash: you are not their target demographic.

I get that, and yes, I'm sure it is not a common occurence....but this woman acted like she had never heard of anybody ever, anywhere, drinking a glass of milk.  It's hard to convey, over the internet, the amount of shock she exhibited.  Just struck me as odd.

it was probably shock because she had no idea how to ring you up.  glass of milk is probably not an item on the register, and she was shocked wondering if she had to call her manager.  and shocked that you would do this to her.


Don't they carry 250ml and 500ml, milk cartons? they do around here.
 
2013-10-09 08:36:56 PM  

skozlaw: PainInTheASP: Steve Martin, but I'll be damned if I can remember the movie.  L.A. Story?

Yessir


Tom: I'll have a decaf coffee.
Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.
Morris Frost: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.
Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Tom: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Morris Frost: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Cynthia: I'll have a twist of lemon.


Darn it, I was coming to post a twist of lemon.
 
2013-10-09 08:39:47 PM  
Subby can't see the forest for the trees. If he could he would go do some research and decide if he wanted to buy SBUX instead of making snarky headlines.
 
2013-10-10 12:04:28 AM  

jjorsett: InmanRoshi: I hate to break it to Subby, but it's not 1999 anymore.  Neither "hipsters" or "hippies" go to Starbucks.     Obese soccer moms in Des Moines go to Starbucks.

My local KFC was just replaced with a Starbucks. That seems a step backward for the development of future obese soccer moms.


Not after they've dumped a couple sugar packets in their big ass mocha with extra whipped cream.
 
2013-10-10 03:25:15 AM  

relaxitsjustme: Subby can't see the forest for the trees. If he could he would go do some research and decide if he wanted to buy SBUX instead of making snarky headlines.


The proper abbreviation is $*.

Also, my standard is tall breve with 2 extra shots.
 
2013-10-10 06:00:00 AM  

Goimir: relaxitsjustme: Subby can't see the forest for the trees. If he could he would go do some research and decide if he wanted to buy SBUX instead of making snarky headlines.

The proper abbreviation is $*.

Also, my standard is tall breve with 2 extra shots.


notsureifseroius.jpg

/SBUX is the ticker symbol for Starbucks
 
2013-10-10 07:59:34 AM  

cyberspacedout: I worked at one over a decade ago (not at an airport though). I don't think there was an option on their register for just plain cold milk. Three only time I ever heard it requested was for a child.



I worked at a non-airport Starbucks about a decade ago, and there was definitely a button on the register for milk. We did get the occasional order for it too. They've revamped the register screens a couple times since then though, so I dunno how hard it is to find now.
 
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