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(FilmDrunk)   Remember when the SyFy channel made sane movies like 'Sharknado'? Well now they've gone batshiat crazy with 'Avalanche Sharks'. "The snow's gonna run red with your blood"   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 55
    More: Amusing, Avalanche Sharks, Brooke Hogan, red  
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1926 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Oct 2013 at 12:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-09 12:11:51 AM  
I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.
 
2013-10-09 12:13:44 AM  
the best bad movies are the ones where the people actually tried to make a good movie, but just didn't know how.

The Room, Troll 2, Hobgoblins 2....these are great bad movies. sci-fi puts out bad movies that try to be bad and they just suck. stop encouraging them.
 
2013-10-09 12:25:36 AM  
We're all just being trolled at this point.
 
2013-10-09 12:26:50 AM  
More like SyFy-lis channel these days
 
2013-10-09 12:28:49 AM  
wpc.556e.edgecastcdn.net

Wow... it wasn't far off, huh?
 
2013-10-09 12:29:27 AM  
Dear SyFY

Sharkquake.  A serious of earthquakes break apart the ground, sending countless thousands tumbling into the waiting mouths of cave-dwelling deep-water sharks.  Like normal sharks, but with the creepy big teeth and biolumenesence of deep-sea fish.

You're welcome, dumbasses.
 
2013-10-09 12:30:01 AM  

StubhyGraham: I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.


They should have gone with Tarantulavalanche.
 
2013-10-09 12:33:41 AM  

StubhyGraham: I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.


media.ebaumsworld.com

 

Spanky_McFarksalot: the best bad movies are the ones where the people actually tried to make a good movie, but just didn't know how.

The Room, Troll 2, Hobgoblins 2....these are great bad movies. sci-fi puts out bad movies that try to be bad and they just suck. stop encouraging them.


My wife and I don't get cable. We stream everything with Netflix, etc., but a while back we were staying in a hotel and tuned the TV to the Syfy channel, and found "pro" wrestling on a Friday night.

I was so shocked I called a relative I knew had cable to inquire as to whether this was a 'thing'.

Pathetic.
 
2013-10-09 12:49:23 AM  

StubhyGraham: I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.


fc01.deviantart.net
 
2013-10-09 01:02:55 AM  

albuquerquehalsey: StubhyGraham: I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.

[fc01.deviantart.net image 625x750]


She's kinda cute, but I wouldn't try a French kiss with her..
 
2013-10-09 01:17:09 AM  
I got it half right; I predicted avalanche, but I guessed tarantulas and they went with sharks (again).

/Tarantulanche! Come on, the name sells the movie!
 
2013-10-09 01:17:50 AM  
Yesss....

I don't care what anyone says, I love this crap.
 
2013-10-09 01:21:16 AM  
Okay, Syfy...we get it.  Sharknado was a cult hit for you because weren't you clever with that ridiculous idea, blah blah.  I would say you're trying too hard now, but that would insinuate that this latest drivel you're pumping out actually involved the firing of neurons within the brain that most people would call thought.
 
2013-10-09 01:33:27 AM  
I still wanna see Sharking Bad: Tuco's Revenge
lh4.googleusercontent.com

It's about a shark who eats this Mexican immigrant crossing the Rio Grande who is carrying a drug dealer's grill encased in acrylic. The shark buys an old Winnebago and drives around the desert terrorizing much of New Mexico.

screenbid.auctionserver.net
The shark forges a friendship with an elderly salmon named Hector 'Tio' Salmonacka.
www.timdose.com
The old man is only able to communicate with the shark using a bell.

farm7.staticflickr.com

SPOILER ALERT:
fc06.deviantart.net
 
2013-10-09 01:34:43 AM  

StubhyGraham: I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.


A story about my ex?
 
2013-10-09 01:44:20 AM  
If they ever make Iron Termites, I'm going to want royalties.

http://www.fark.com/comments/7917848/86273012#c86273012

------
Iron Termites.

Despite warnings from a pair of scientists (one a rugged field scientist, the other a cute laboratory scientist), GM crops have become ubiquitous on America's farms. What no one could have foreseen is the increased pace of genetic mutation for the insects on and near the farms. Termites have developed mandibles strong enough to cut steel and are immune to all pesticides.

A family drive through the country side brings a handful of termites into the suburbs and Monday morning brings them into the city where the bugs begin feasting and breeding.

Can the world find a cure for the plague before civilization itself collapses?
 
2013-10-09 01:50:41 AM  
Are we sure they just haven't signed a contract with the NHL to televise a game?

But yeah, bad movies need to happen in earnest. Manufacturing them as bad to begin with is lazy and wrong.
 
2013-10-09 02:18:54 AM  
Menh it will just be a filler movie to set up Sharkano to finish out the trilogy.
 
2013-10-09 02:26:31 AM  

Sid_6.7: My wife and I don't get cable. We stream everything with Netflix, etc., but a while back we were staying in a hotel and tuned the TV to the Syfy channel, and found "pro" wrestling on a Friday night.

I was so shocked I called a relative I knew had cable to inquire as to whether this was a 'thing'.

Pathetic.


As soon as Bonnie Hammer got her clutches on the place they started airing wrestling, ghost hunting and a slew of brain dead reality shows. There's barely any sci-fi on SyFy anymore.
 
2013-10-09 02:45:00 AM  

fusillade762: As soon as Bonnie Hammer got her clutches on the place they started airing wrestling, ghost hunting and a slew of brain dead reality shows. There's barely any sci-fi on SyFy anymore.


I wish I was so rich that I could by SyFy on a whim just so I could publicly fire that biatch.
 
2013-10-09 02:47:32 AM  

fusillade762: Sid_6.7: My wife and I don't get cable. We stream everything with Netflix, etc., but a while back we were staying in a hotel and tuned the TV to the Syfy channel, and found "pro" wrestling on a Friday night.

I was so shocked I called a relative I knew had cable to inquire as to whether this was a 'thing'.

Pathetic.

As soon as Bonnie Hammer got her clutches on the place they started airing wrestling, ghost hunting and a slew of brain dead reality shows. There's barely any sci-fi on SyFy anymore.


The CW have more Sci-Fi than the farking SyFy channel
 
2013-10-09 02:52:03 AM  
SyFy: "We ain't got money for locations with scenic anythings no more"
 
2013-10-09 03:02:24 AM  

OgreMagi: fusillade762: As soon as Bonnie Hammer got her clutches on the place they started airing wrestling, ghost hunting and a slew of brain dead reality shows. There's barely any sci-fi on SyFy anymore.

I wish I was so rich that I could by SyFy on a whim just so I could publicly fire that biatch.


Too late. For her fabulous work wrecking Siffy they promoted her to Chairman of NBCUniversal Cable Entertainment Group,
 
2013-10-09 03:21:10 AM  
Still waiting for a "Typhoon of Rabid Baboons" movie.
 
2013-10-09 03:23:55 AM  

RookStar: Still waiting for a "Typhoon of Rabid Baboons" movie.


CSPAN carries that television series already.
 
2013-10-09 03:34:24 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: RookStar: Still waiting for a "Typhoon of Rabid Baboons" movie.

CSPAN carries that television series already.


heh....
 
2013-10-09 03:44:59 AM  

StubhyGraham: I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.


upload.wikimedia.org
Been done.
 
2013-10-09 04:30:25 AM  
QUICK! WHERE ELSE CAN WE STICK A SHARK? And are there any modifications we can make to the shark that we haven't yet?

OOH OOH LET'S MAKE THE SHARK A CONGRESSMAN
 
2013-10-09 05:12:37 AM  

Gosling: QUICK! WHERE ELSE CAN WE STICK A SHARK? And are there any modifications we can make to the shark that we haven't yet?

OOH OOH LET'S MAKE THE SHARK A CONGRESSMAN


Congresshark!
 
2013-10-09 05:44:52 AM  

Gosling: QUICK! WHERE ELSE CAN WE STICK A SHARK? And are there any modifications we can make to the shark that we haven't yet?

OOH OOH LET'S MAKE THE SHARK A CONGRESSMAN


"He May HavenA 5% Approval Rating, But He's 100% Deadly!"
 
2013-10-09 06:48:54 AM  
HHmmmmm.  Sharknami?
 
2013-10-09 06:51:05 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-09 06:59:55 AM  
What about a shark tornado?
 
2013-10-09 07:28:07 AM  
i26.photobucket.com
runs red?
 
2013-10-09 08:28:17 AM  
www.historyvortex.org

dailygrindhouse.com

monsterawarenessmonth.files.wordpress.com

and of course,
1.bp.blogspot.com
/monster week was awesome
 
2013-10-09 08:32:02 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: RookStar: Still waiting for a "Typhoon of Rabid Baboons" movie.

CSPAN carries that television series already.


There ya go.
 
2013-10-09 08:33:07 AM  
Blood vs Snow?
 
2013-10-09 08:58:46 AM  
Ok SyFy how about this idea.

The story is told in first-person perspective by the geologist William Dyer, a professor at Miskatonic University. He writes to disclose hitherto unknown and closely kept secrets in the hope that he can deter a planned and much publicized scientific expedition to Antarctica. On a previous expedition there, scholars from Miskatonic University led by Dyer discovered fantastic and horrific ruins and a dangerous secret beyond a range of mountains higher than the Himalayas. A smaller advance group, led by Professor Lake, discovered and crossed the mountains and found the remains of fourteen ancient life forms, completely unknown to science and unidentifiable as either plants or animals. Six of the specimens are badly damaged and the others uncannily pristine. Their highly evolved features are problematic: their stratum location puts them at a point on the geologic time scale much too early for such features to have naturally evolved.

Just send me $10 and I will send you the rest. I am sure you can rework it to have sharks included.
 
2013-10-09 09:12:42 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: [i.imgur.com image 648x960]


All these internets are yours, except Europa.  Attempt no landing there.  Use them wisely.
 
2013-10-09 09:14:01 AM  

KellyX: [wpc.556e.edgecastcdn.net image 625x938]

Wow... it wasn't far off, huh?


This shouldn't be surprising.  I'd bet good money they were surfing the Internet after the Sharknado twitter buzz, and saw that very pick on multiple twitter and tumblr feeds and said "Hey, why don't we do this?"  I think it was less a case of that picture predicting the future, and more of a case of it being the cause/source of this movie's concept.
 
2013-10-09 09:37:42 AM  

recoil47: KellyX: [wpc.556e.edgecastcdn.net image 625x938]

Wow... it wasn't far off, huh?

This shouldn't be surprising.  I'd bet good money they were surfing the Internet after the Sharknado twitter buzz, and saw that very pick on multiple twitter and tumblr feeds and said "Hey, why don't we do this?"  I think it was less a case of that picture predicting the future, and more of a case of it being the cause/source of this movie's concept.


and the creator of that pic won't see a dime.
 
2013-10-09 09:44:23 AM  

AMonkey'sUncle: Blood vs Snow?




3.bp.blogspot.com

/also on the teevee
 
2013-10-09 09:54:51 AM  

Spanky_McFarksalot: the best bad movies are the ones where the people actually tried to make a good movie, but just didn't know how.

The Room, Troll 2, Hobgoblins 2....these are great bad movies. sci-fi puts out bad movies that try to be bad and they just suck. stop encouraging them.


So much this ^

I guess our fellow Farkers have not seen Night of the Lepus? Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xulXFB3-A3c
 
2013-10-09 10:27:20 AM  
Has Syfy done a "sharkcano" movie yet?  Sharks that swim through lava get blasted out in all directions when a nearby volcano, thought to be extinct, blows it's top.  Seems like the next logical evolution in the series.

/Only one washed-up actor can stop them.  SCOTT BAIO!
 
2013-10-09 10:44:32 AM  

r0cj07p: Has Syfy done a "sharkcano" movie yet?  Sharks that swim through lava get blasted out in all directions when a nearby volcano, thought to be extinct, blows it's top.  Seems like the next logical evolution in the series.

/Only one washed-up actor can stop them.  SCOTT BAIO!




as Bob Loblaw!
 
2013-10-09 10:45:59 AM  
Sharknado was not good, even in a so-bad-it's-good way. It was just bad. Joyless, cynical, contrived, no-fun, and bad. You can't make a cult movie on purpose.
 
2013-10-09 11:13:51 AM  
This pisses me off.  I get wasted and send in story ideas (complete with plot and actor suggestions) to the SyFy channel on a pretty regular basis but I never hear back from them.  I really think my "Zombie Raptors" story would have been a better route to go than an avalanche made of sharks.
 
2013-10-09 11:24:10 AM  

Shazam999: StubhyGraham: I'm still holding out for Sharkgina.

A story about my ex?


Well done, well played.
 
2013-10-09 11:48:25 AM  
They are basically taking Tremors, and trying to combine it with Sharknado. As others have said, the names and concepts are the only thing really entertaining about the SyFy movies. The channel tries too hard. The best B-Movies are the ones that try to be legitimate movies and end up as cult classics.

SyFy channel is like the dry humping version of Japanese cinema and Troma.
 
2013-10-09 12:04:13 PM  

m1ke: This pisses me off.  I get wasted and send in story ideas (complete with plot and actor suggestions) to the SyFy channel on a pretty regular basis but I never hear back from them.  I really think my "Zombie Raptors" story would have been a better route to go than an avalanche made of sharks.


World War T

Global Warming has thawed the polar ice caps. An expedition team is sent to investigate the effects where upon they discover a T-Rex encased in a block of ice. Unknowingly, that was the reason they were sent by the evil corporation. On board the ship a plant by the evil corporation basically brings the T-Rex back to life ala Jurassic Park. Evil corporation plan tries to sneak out of lab and hears someone coming to check on the specimen where he bolts to engine room to hide accidentally hitting a lever (duh levers control stuff) which causes the ship to run aground. The iceblock melts and Zombie T-Rex escapes. Zombie T-Rex has babies and due to the evil corporation, the breeding rate of the T-Rex is increased exponentially. T-Rexes basically take over most of world and the original search team has the original genetic strain they have reverse engineered to create a virus to stop the T-Rex from breeding and kill them off. The only trick is that the virus has to be ingested by subject 0 which is surrounded by tons of T-Rex babbys. In a final struggle, main character's terrible actor love interest who was a part of original expedition sacrifices himself and is eaten with the virus (in an homage to Deep Blue Sea - let's throw LL in there to be sure).
 
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