Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Time)   I'll take Congress for $500, Alex. The answer is: hemorrhoids, the DMV, hipsters, jury duty, zombies, Wall Street & toenail fungus   (newsfeed.time.com) divider line 36
    More: Obvious, feceses, jury duty  
•       •       •

1824 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Oct 2013 at 5:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-10-08 05:22:13 PM  
Zombies?  The only thing better than zombies is more zombies!
 
2013-10-08 05:41:55 PM  
who is in favor of toenail fungus?
 
2013-10-08 05:43:02 PM  
They didn't ask about Nickelback? Damn.
 
2013-10-08 05:43:05 PM  
Any 'how popular is Congress' poll is worthless unless they also ask people how satisfied they are with their own representatives.
 
2013-10-08 05:43:26 PM  

Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?


You're supposed to do a pairwise comparison.
 
2013-10-08 05:43:50 PM  

Serious Black: They didn't ask about Nickelback? Damn.


They probably get enough hang-ups without going there.
 
2013-10-08 05:55:32 PM  
www.screeninsults.com
 
2013-10-08 06:03:59 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Any 'how popular is Congress' poll is worthless unless they also ask people how satisfied they are with their own representatives.


Exactly. MY Representative is doing an excellent job. YOUR Representative is Ruining America.
 
2013-10-08 06:04:01 PM  
 
2013-10-08 06:15:04 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Any 'how popular is Congress' poll is worthless unless they also ask people how satisfied they are with their own representatives.


Mine appears to support a clean CR. I'll be voting for his opponent.  He's got a farking Benghazi-gate image on his home page.
 
2013-10-08 06:15:32 PM  
As long as there's a huge divide between the approval rating of Congress as a whole and the approval rating of your Congressman, this doesn't mean much.
 
2013-10-08 06:15:36 PM  

Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?


If you had to choose a day with a toenail fungus or Michelle Bachmann, which would you choose?
 
2013-10-08 06:17:35 PM  

Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?


Manufacturers of antifungal cream and their distributors.
 
2013-10-08 06:18:41 PM  

DeaH: Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?

If you had to choose a day with a toenail fungus or Michelle Bachmann, which would you choose?


Do I have the option of performing elective surgery on either of them?
 
2013-10-08 06:22:10 PM  
$500 will barely get you one Congressman.
 
2013-10-08 06:28:33 PM  

foo monkey: DeaH: Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?

If you had to choose a day with a toenail fungus or Michelle Bachmann, which would you choose?

Do I have the option of performing elective surgery on either of them?


That was not one of the options, no. But we can limit your exposure to 24 hours. Would that help?
 
2013-10-08 06:31:10 PM  

DeaH: foo monkey: DeaH: Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?

If you had to choose a day with a toenail fungus or Michelle Bachmann, which would you choose?

Do I have the option of performing elective surgery on either of them?

That was not one of the options, no. But we can limit your exposure to 24 hours. Would that help?


I don't think I could go 24 hours without taking a pair of toenail clippers to it, an anti-fungal, and maybe some Hibiclens.  Also, the toenail fungus would be very bothersome.
 
2013-10-08 06:39:34 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory: Serious Black: They didn't ask about Nickelback? Damn.

They probably get enough hang-ups without going there.


Yeah, Serious Black.  Haven't you heard that the new thing to hate on the internet is The Big Bang Theory?
 
2013-10-08 06:42:52 PM  
How does eight percent of the population look at the giant, steaming cluster-fark that is Congress and think, good job guys, A+? Is that just the retards in the Tea Party?
 
2013-10-08 06:48:58 PM  

DeaH: Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?

If you had to choose a day with a toenail fungus or Michelle Bachmann, which would you choose?


What kind of toenail fungus?
 
2013-10-08 06:48:58 PM  

DeaH: foo monkey: DeaH: Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?

If you had to choose a day with a toenail fungus or Michelle Bachmann, which would you choose?

Do I have the option of performing elective surgery on either of them?

That was not one of the options, no. But we can limit your exposure to 24 hours. Would that help?


Not really. What about duct tape?
 
2013-10-08 06:50:17 PM  
Alex: *beep* I'm sorry subby, but you didn't phrase your answer in the form of a question
 
2013-10-08 07:05:25 PM  

DeaH: Cork on Fork: who is in favor of toenail fungus?

If you had to choose a day with a toenail fungus or Michelle Bachmann, which would you choose?


Will they wear name tags when I'm deciding? Otherwise, it's kind of a trick question.
 
2013-10-08 07:47:43 PM  
You can treat toenail fungus.
 
2013-10-08 08:06:29 PM  
Congrats, Congress, for finally reaching the single digits.
 
2013-10-08 08:14:12 PM  
Some take the bible
For what it's worth
When it says that the meek
Shall inherit the Earth
Well, I heard that some sheik
Has bought New Jersey last week
'N you suckers ain't gettin' nothin'

You say yer life's a bum deal
'N yer up against the wall...
Well, people, you ain't even got no
Deal at all
'Cause what they do
In Washington
They just takes care
of NUMBER ONE
An' NUMBER ONE ain't YOU
You ain't even NUMBER TWO
 
2013-10-08 09:18:01 PM  
You will need more than $500 to buy Congress.
 
2013-10-08 09:49:37 PM  

i1282.photobucket.com


Waldorf:  Boy, I sure wish John Boehner was the MC of this show.


Statler:  Why's that?


Waldorf:  Because then maybe he could shut it down.


DOH HOH HOH HOH HOH HOH

 
2013-10-08 10:59:21 PM  
what is "Things your mom has done"?
 
2013-10-08 11:02:18 PM  
Hm.

My rep is Loretta Sanchez and my Senator is Barbara Boxer.

Hm.

Can I call in an airstrike?
 
2013-10-08 11:05:38 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Hm.
My rep is Loretta Sanchez and my Senator is Barbara Boxer.
Hm.
Can I call in an airstrike?


Not until you figure out what's wrong with what you wrote.
/The answer is still NO!
//Nothing in your profile indicates that you can call in artillery, let alone an air strike.
 
2013-10-08 11:27:55 PM  
What is seven things that have never been in my kitchen?
 
2013-10-09 12:16:23 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-09 12:40:10 AM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Gyrfalcon: Hm.
My rep is Loretta Sanchez and my Senator is Barbara Boxer.
Hm.
Can I call in an airstrike?

Not until you figure out what's wrong with what you wrote.
/The answer is still NO!
//Nothing in your profile indicates that you can call in artillery, let alone an air strike.


It was in the form of a question!

If I use my profile, I'll summon the Cleveland Torso Killer, he's still unidentified...
 
2013-10-09 01:51:01 AM  
You realize, Subby, that $500 is not a valid amount for an item on 'Jeopardy'.
 
2013-10-09 03:41:04 AM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: You realize, Subby, that $500 is not a valid amount for an item on 'Jeopardy'.


It used to be.

Subby may be showing his age.
 
Displayed 36 of 36 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report