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(Daily Dot)   J.P. Morgan points and laughs at a guy who thought he could keep the Twitter handle @Chase   (dailydot.com) divider line 76
    More: Obvious, JPMorgan Chase & Co., Morgan's Point, Twitter, Twitter handle, Chase Bank  
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11638 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Oct 2013 at 6:57 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-08 05:49:30 PM
Well, now I don't feel so bad about IIB'ing them.

/wait, no, i never felt the slightest bit bad.
 
2013-10-08 05:51:34 PM
Chase What Matters (including Twitter accounts that don't belong to you) TM
 
2013-10-08 05:53:19 PM
Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?
 
2013-10-08 06:23:56 PM
Twitter is going public.  Now is no time to stop kowtowing to Wall Street.
 
2013-10-08 06:29:46 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?


Yes.
 
2013-10-08 06:48:03 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?


We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.
 
2013-10-08 07:00:15 PM
@JohannGambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm
 
2013-10-08 07:00:54 PM

toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.


Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.
 
2013-10-08 07:01:01 PM

toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.


I'd take $15,000 and some office supplies.
 
2013-10-08 07:02:54 PM

Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.


From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.
 
2013-10-08 07:03:57 PM

timujin: Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.

From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.


And richer as a result. I think I could go without Twitter for $20-40k
 
2013-10-08 07:04:18 PM
Fark Chase bank. Fark Twitter.
 
2013-10-08 07:05:23 PM
But he still gets to keep @Chasesucks.
 
2013-10-08 07:05:45 PM

Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.


Or an account with no fees!
 
2013-10-08 07:06:35 PM

The_Six_Fingered_Man: timujin: Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.

From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.

And richer as a result. I think I could go without Twitter for $20-40k


For $40k? I'd toss in the Twitter handles of everyone who messaged me to sign them up for spam as a bonus.
 
2013-10-08 07:07:02 PM

timujin: Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.

From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.


Hell, I'm perfectly fine with being IP banned from Twitter in exchange for a five figure payout.
 
2013-10-08 07:07:35 PM

toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.


This. Good job turning down a cool 20k over something as inane as a twitter name. Tool.
 
2013-10-08 07:08:07 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: timujin: Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.

From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.

Hell, I'm perfectly fine with being IP banned from Twitter in exchange for a five figure payout.


This. What's Twitter going to do, ban JP Morgan for buying another user's account?
 
2013-10-08 07:10:31 PM

timujin: Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.

From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.


He'd be 20K richer, the account would be frozen and J.P. Morgan would be up shiat's creek.  Probably not that last part.
 
2013-10-08 07:12:10 PM

Weatherkiss: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: timujin: Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.

From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.

Hell, I'm perfectly fine with being IP banned from Twitter in exchange for a five figure payout.

This. What's Twitter going to do, ban JP Morgan for buying another user's account?


Make your last tweet with the account "JP Morgan is paying me 20,000 dollars for this account. I'm out, suckers."
 
2013-10-08 07:12:13 PM
They were probably hoping he would say yes to the offer so they could just boot him for violating the TOS.
 
2013-10-08 07:13:31 PM

valar_morghulis: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

This. Good job turning down a cool 20k over something as inane as a twitter name. Tool.


From the way things panned out it looks like the most probable outcome of accepting the offer would have been immediate suspension of his account. He had no chance of actually collecting a dime of that $20k.
 
2013-10-08 07:16:36 PM

Target Builder: valar_morghulis: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

This. Good job turning down a cool 20k over something as inane as a twitter name. Tool.

From the way things panned out it looks like the most probable outcome of accepting the offer would have been immediate suspension of his account. He had no chance of actually collecting a dime of that $20k.


That's what I was thinking, that if he'd accepted, they would have just used it as grounds to get his account frozen.
 
2013-10-08 07:23:06 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?


I use it to sign up for contests and not having to sign up for every website that use twitter or Facebook just to comment
 
2013-10-08 07:23:15 PM
The town of Chase, B.C. (est. 1908) would like a word with JP Morgan Chase.
 
2013-10-08 07:24:17 PM

timujin: Target Builder: valar_morghulis: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

This. Good job turning down a cool 20k over something as inane as a twitter name. Tool.

From the way things panned out it looks like the most probable outcome of accepting the offer would have been immediate suspension of his account. He had no chance of actually collecting a dime of that $20k.

That's what I was thinking, that if he'd accepted, they would have just used it as grounds to get his account frozen.


I'd gladly take $20K to suspend all my Twittering forever.
 
2013-10-08 07:25:25 PM

Moonfisher: They were probably hoping he would say yes to the offer so they could just boot him for violating the TOS.


/likes the odds, 20K, that's like $700 1982 bucks.
 
2013-10-08 07:27:02 PM
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-08 07:27:17 PM
lh3.ggpht.com

Frowns on J.P. Morgan's shenanigans.
 
2013-10-08 07:33:57 PM

Mr.Tangent: timujin: Marcus Aurelius: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Let alone an offer you could have easily countered $40k for, settled at $30k, and everyone would have walked away very happy.

From what I understand it's against the TOS to sell a Twitter handle.  Don't know what would have happened if he'd agreed, but he'd be in violation of the User Agreement.

He'd be 20K richer, the account would be frozen and J.P. Morgan would be up shiat's creek.  Probably not that last part.


I fail to see the problem here, but apperently dude was holding out for more or something
 
2013-10-08 07:34:06 PM

timujin: Target Builder: valar_morghulis: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

This. Good job turning down a cool 20k over something as inane as a twitter name. Tool.

From the way things panned out it looks like the most probable outcome of accepting the offer would have been immediate suspension of his account. He had no chance of actually collecting a dime of that $20k.

That's what I was thinking, that if he'd accepted, they would have just used it as grounds to get his account frozen.


Wouldn't the buyer be violating the TOS too?  In which case, why not allege they did pay him off for it.  They obviously solicited him for it.
 
Rat
2013-10-08 07:36:28 PM
i235.photobucket.com

© she was snooty at times, but had a nice rack
 
2013-10-08 07:37:06 PM
I call bullshiat on all the banks.
 
2013-10-08 07:41:10 PM
Frowns on JP Morgan's shenanigans...

img2u.info

/Too obscure?
 
2013-10-08 07:42:40 PM
What kind of idiot would turn down 20k for a Twitter handle just so they can re-tweet the occasional misdirected customer service complaint?
 
2013-10-08 07:44:40 PM

Mr.Tangent: He'd be 20K richer, the account would be frozen and J.P. Morgan would be up shiat's creek.  Probably not that last part.


I very much doubt he'd be $20K richer.  He got the offer after Chase started causing problems.  Why would anyone think it was a legitimate offer?  Common sense would dictate that the offer was almost certainly was instigated by Chase in an attempt to show he was holding the name in bad faith, and to weaken any legitimate claim on the name.  Refusing any offer at that point was the prudent thing to do.

At least we see now where Twitter's true allegiance lies.
 
2013-10-08 07:45:43 PM
I like twitter.  I follow a small handful of comedians and professionals in my field.  The character limit forces people to be effective and to the point.  Sometimes I'll retweet professional stuff, like software releases.
 
2013-10-08 07:47:40 PM

drjekel_mrhyde: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

I use it to sign up for contests and not having to sign up for every website that use twitter or Facebook just to comment


I use it to get tornado warnings, among other things. Your own Twitter feed is only as useful, or as mind-numbingly inane, as you make it.
 
2013-10-08 07:48:14 PM
I use to think that people that got their NEWS from "The Daily Show" shown on the COMEDY channel were stupid, then twitter came along...
 
2013-10-08 07:52:43 PM
yeah he actually posted stuff about the bank on that account. At that point he was misrepresenting and they were always going to win. moron.
 
2013-10-08 07:52:56 PM

Lor M. Ipsum: The character limit forces people to be effective and to the point.


Oh well
 
2013-10-08 07:55:19 PM

toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.


Yes!! What kind of idiot would turn down $20K for a stupid Twitter handle??

/my Fark handle can be yours for the low price of $19,995
 
2013-10-08 07:55:26 PM
if he hadn't used the handle to post negative things about twitter he'd still have his account
 
2013-10-08 08:01:47 PM
nickerj1:

Wouldn't the buyer be violating the TOS too?  In which case, why not allege they did pay him off for it.  They obviously solicited him for it.

Yes, but clearly Twitter doesn't care as they ignored the guy when he told then JP Morgan was offering him money for the account in violation of their TOS. It looks a lot like Twitter was strongly inclined to give JP Morgan the account and was looking for an excuse to turn it over to them.
 
2013-10-08 08:02:28 PM
Dude was originally using the account for non-infringing purposes.
Then he decided to be a dick.  He changed the account's information to something else and tried to be cute.  Then he began retweeting things that could lead to potential confusion.
Result: Asshole loses his twitter account.

Moral of the story: If you're in an IP gray area, don't do things to confuse "your" IP with theirs.
 
2013-10-08 08:04:38 PM
What a twit.
 
2013-10-08 08:08:25 PM

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 850x562]

[i.imgur.com image 675x587]


Came here to mention nissan.com, leaving satisfied.

corn-bread: Dude was originally using the account for non-infringing purposes.
Then he decided to be a dick.  He changed the account's information to something else and tried to be cute.  Then he began retweeting things that could lead to potential confusion.
Result: Asshole loses his twitter account.

Moral of the story: If you're in an IP gray area, don't do things to confuse "your" IP with theirs.


Also, this.

Guess I'll head on out now.
 
2013-10-08 08:23:31 PM

Snooki Punch: toraque: Peter von Nostrand: Can't we just point and laugh at anyone that uses Twitter?

We can certainly point and laugh at anyone that passes on a $20K offer for a twitter handle.

Yes!! What kind of idiot would turn down $20K for a stupid Twitter handle??

/my Fark handle can be yours for the low price of $19,995


So websites are not Twitter handles, but my company recently changed its name, and some people are just stupid.

Me: "Hi, we're a small company and we're looking to see if Inane-6-to-10-letter-Name-not-related-to-any-corporation-or-publicly-r egistered-company.com is available?"

Reply: $2 Million

Me and My Boss: WTF?

/Think we ended up spending about $5K, but the average request was for $50K.
 
2013-10-08 08:30:53 PM
Hah, I like all the "He should have taken the money!" comments.  But it would have played out, "We'll give you 20k!" "Ok/Ask for more" BAMVIOLATIONOFSERVICE + SUEYOUFOREXTORTION + they get the handle for free.
 
2013-10-08 08:33:23 PM
"...he was contacted by a broker and offered $20,000 for the name, which is "strictly against Twitter rules." He declined the offer..."

Stopped reading there.

Just can't stop cringing at the colossal stupidity. I mean, does a TWITTER HANDLE really mean enough to you to turn down 20 grand? Oy.
 
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