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Man who stabbed bird to death will now face a cockatoo in prison, drug to prevent premature ejaculation comes early, and Radio Shack employee gives away free battery: some of Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 9/29 - 10/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-10-08 7:31:34 AM (4 comments) | Permalink

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1532 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Oct 2013 at 8:46 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Some fun headlines this week. Enjoy

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-09-29 to Sat 2013-10-05:

[image from too old to be available]  Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit hair under wings for cushioning impact  

[image from too old to be available]  ExxonMobil to extend benefits to same sex couples, doesn't want to discriminate where someone does their drilling  

[image from too old to be available]  Couple was having sex on train tracks. Guess who came unexpectedly  

[image from too old to be available]  Man who stabbed bird to death gets 90 days in jail, where he will have to get used to a cockatoo for awhile  

[image from too old to be available]  The construction of the USS Gerald R. Ford stumbles forward  

[image from too old to be available]  Dwayne Johnson and family killed by the Rock  

[image from too old to be available]  The Hunt for Dead October  

[image from too old to be available]  Radio Shack employee charged after giving away a free battery  

[image from too old to be available]  Princess Diana peeled off Parisian tunnel wall. Again  

[image from too old to be available]  Officials say woman involved in today's incident at the Capitol had "no nexus to terrorism." No word on Nokia Lumia or iPhone involvement  

[image from too old to be available]  Limerick woman goes for a drive // Takes her car on Route 5 // After acting quite rash // She's involved in a crash // If she's lucky she'll make it alive  


[image from too old to be available]  Peyton Manning goes 28 for 34, for 327 yards and four touchdowns while recording two commercials as Broncos stampede the Eagles 52-20  

[image from too old to be available]  Judge prevents former Yankee Chad Curtis from ever getting to 2nd base in the minors  

[image from too old to be available]  Cleveland Indians had the highest priced playoff tickets in all of MLB, proving once again that any time there is a playoff ticket issued for a Cleveland team it becomes a rare collectors' item  


[image from too old to be available]  Chimpanzees beat humans in memory tests, demonstrating yet one more way in which they would be more effective than our current batch of Congressmen  

[image from too old to be available]  London Police use computer algorithms to predict where crimes will happen. Difficulty: When that was tried in the U.S., all that ever came up was a Google map of Wall Street  

[image from too old to be available]  New drug developed to prevent premature ejaculation. Drug was set to be released in December but accidentally came out a few weeks early  


[image from too old to be available]  Turns out Cher is friends with Stephen Hawking. No surprise, since they have the same singing voice  

[image from too old to be available]  Ray Parker, Jr. sues for royalties for his Ghostbusters song, says he would have tried to claim them earlier but didn't know who to call  

[image from too old to be available]  Mel Gibson suspected of taking steroids or HGH to bulk up for new Expendables film. Roger Goodell immediately suspends him for four movies  


[image from too old to be available]  Jon Huntsman: Shutdown is wrecking the economy and you people are retards. HUNTSMAN 2016  

[image from too old to be available]  Ted Cruz warns that the government shutdown could lead to a terrorist attack. Ted Cruz then immediately called for the arrest of the dangerous radical Ted Cruz before he can act again  

[image from too old to be available]  Nine in ten Americans are unhappy with Washington, D.C. The other one in ten is a Jacksonville Jaguars fan who has an account at Bank of America and loves to fly United  


[image from too old to be available]  Comcast Sports Net in Houston declares bankruptcy. Media experts find it hard to imagine with the powerful TV lineup of the Astros and the Rockets  

[image from too old to be available]  The number of people who realize Malcolm Gladwell's books are little more than popular pseudoscientific claptrap is beginning to reach some kind of critical point of exponential growth  

[image from too old to be available]  CPS Energy in San Antonio to reduce EIP, presumably due to lack of quality BIE
· · ·

4 Comments     (+0 »)
2013-10-08 09:02:01 AM  
Fark has a blargh?

I'm old fashioned. I'll take the Wikipedia entry instead.
2013-10-08 09:19:59 AM  

There is only:

Princess Diana peeled of Parisian tunnel wall.  Again

2013-10-08 02:07:34 PM  
Why bother reading the list anymore? All the spoilers are in the headline, which kinda ruins the list. I would be ok to simply click the Headlines Of the Week link.
2013-10-08 07:30:28 PM  
My vote?
Nine in ten Americans....
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