Man who stabbed bird to death will now face a cockatoo in prison, drug to prevent premature ejaculation comes early, and Radio Shack employee gives away free battery: some of Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 9/29 - 10/5
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-10-08 7:31:34 AM (4 comments) | Permalink
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Some fun headlines this week. Enjoy
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-09-29 to Sat 2013-10-05:
Alitalia plane lands safely on its side after landing gear fails to extend, pilots credit hair under wings for cushioning impact
ExxonMobil to extend benefits to same sex couples, doesn't want to discriminate where someone does their drilling
Couple was having sex on train tracks. Guess who came unexpectedly
Man who stabbed bird to death gets 90 days in jail, where he will have to get used to a cockatoo for awhile
The construction of the USS Gerald R. Ford stumbles forward
Dwayne Johnson and family killed by the Rock
The Hunt for Dead October
Radio Shack employee charged after giving away a free battery
Princess Diana peeled off Parisian tunnel wall. Again
Officials say woman involved in today's incident at the Capitol had "no nexus to terrorism." No word on Nokia Lumia or iPhone involvement
Limerick woman goes for a drive // Takes her car on Route 5 // After acting quite rash // She's involved in a crash // If she's lucky she'll make it alive
Peyton Manning goes 28 for 34, for 327 yards and four touchdowns while recording two commercials as Broncos stampede the Eagles 52-20
Judge prevents former Yankee Chad Curtis from ever getting to 2nd base in the minors
Cleveland Indians had the highest priced playoff tickets in all of MLB, proving once again that any time there is a playoff ticket issued for a Cleveland team it becomes a rare collectors' item
Chimpanzees beat humans in memory tests, demonstrating yet one more way in which they would be more effective than our current batch of Congressmen
London Police use computer algorithms to predict where crimes will happen. Difficulty: When that was tried in the U.S., all that ever came up was a Google map of Wall Street
New drug developed to prevent premature ejaculation. Drug was set to be released in December but accidentally came out a few weeks early
Turns out Cher is friends with Stephen Hawking. No surprise, since they have the same singing voice
Ray Parker, Jr. sues for royalties for his Ghostbusters song, says he would have tried to claim them earlier but didn't know who to call
Mel Gibson suspected of taking steroids or HGH to bulk up for new Expendables film. Roger Goodell immediately suspends him for four movies
Jon Huntsman: Shutdown is wrecking the economy and you people are retards. HUNTSMAN 2016
Ted Cruz warns that the government shutdown could lead to a terrorist attack. Ted Cruz then immediately called for the arrest of the dangerous radical Ted Cruz before he can act again
Nine in ten Americans are unhappy with Washington, D.C. The other one in ten is a Jacksonville Jaguars fan who has an account at Bank of America and loves to fly United
Comcast Sports Net in Houston declares bankruptcy. Media experts find it hard to imagine with the powerful TV lineup of the Astros and the Rockets
The number of people who realize Malcolm Gladwell's books are little more than popular pseudoscientific claptrap is beginning to reach some kind of critical point of exponential growth
CPS Energy in San Antonio to reduce EIP, presumably due to lack of quality BIE
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