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(Some Guy)   The plot thickens: Miriam Carey, who was gunned down last Thursday in Washington D.C., was actually put on Obama's hit list... and was the mother of his love child. *gasp*   (thetotalcollapse.com) divider line 231
    More: Scary, Michelle Obama, Russian intelligence  
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7236 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 Oct 2013 at 5:21 PM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



231 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-07 04:34:59 PM
This IS a parody site, right?  RIGHT?
 
2013-10-07 04:38:01 PM
I was going to say "your blog sucks," but that would be demeaning to blogs that merely suck.
 
2013-10-07 04:44:17 PM
Wait, I thought he was gay.
 
2013-10-07 04:50:27 PM
I love you, Submitter.
 
2013-10-07 04:51:20 PM

RedPhoenix122: This IS a parody site, right?  RIGHT?



Stop reading my mind
 
2013-10-07 04:52:13 PM

gilgigamesh: Wait, I thought he was gay.


Obama screws up another one. Way to go, Obama. Can't even be gay the right way.
 
2013-10-07 04:57:03 PM
The blog post links to christwire. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
 
2013-10-07 05:01:13 PM
cdn-images.hollywood.com
The rifle is the first weapon you learn how to use, because it lets you keep your distance from the client. The closer you get to being a pro, the closer you can get to the client. The last thing you learn is somehow getting them to drive to D.C. on their own volition with their child in the car, then get them to crash into a bunch of cop cars and barricades in public, then have multiple regular police officers be stationed all around that you prearranged to shoot on sight in broad daylight on a day where half the news media in the country is within a half mile of you
 
2013-10-07 05:03:45 PM
They obviously got to this site. The truth is out there.
 
2013-10-07 05:07:24 PM
FTFAGRU analysts in this report, however, state that Ms Carey's absence from work was "directly related" to an affair she had begun with Obama in 2011 and which culminated in a girl child being born in August 2012, and which it appears the President attempted to have her abort, but which Ms Carey refused to do because of her Christian beliefs.


i301.photobucket.com

HA! If this were true the much more obvious and discreet solution would have been to jump in Obama's magical time machine and use the dental anesthetic at Carey's clinic to administer an ad-hoc tubal ligation in the dentist's office!  See, if you learn to use Occam's Razor you'll keep from tripping up over these red herrings.
 
2013-10-07 05:15:07 PM
Tom Clancy did not die. Russian SVR agents kidnapped Clancy, substituted a body double and then killed that person, and ice frieghtered Clancy over to Novosibirsk, where they've tied his hands to a computer keyboard and forced him to write bad anti-American fiction.
 
2013-10-07 05:16:35 PM
Wait, wait, wait...I don't have my tinfoil hat on yet!
 
2013-10-07 05:19:06 PM
farm8.staticflickr.com

/hot
 
2013-10-07 05:26:17 PM
www.lolbrary.com
 
2013-10-07 05:26:44 PM
I hate you for making me click on that link.
 
2013-10-07 05:27:11 PM
d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2013-10-07 05:28:36 PM
I also heard that he already had two black children from another woman!
 
2013-10-07 05:29:32 PM
Wake up Sheeple.
 
2013-10-07 05:30:35 PM
Wait...

That wasn't 'Townhall', 'Brietbart' or 'American Thinker'? WTF is WRONG with those guys, since when do they let someone get the scoop on the latest pants-on-head Obamaspiracy? They NEVER let themselves be outdone, are they slipping?
 
2013-10-07 05:31:01 PM
That website is like Christmas.  Each link I click is filled with wonderful goodness!
 
2013-10-07 05:31:09 PM
FTA:As to why Obama would engage himself in dangerous affairs in the first place, this report bizarrely concludes, is the growing evidence that his wife, and First Lady, Michelle Obama, was born Michael LaVaughn Robinson in Chicago, Illinois on 17 January 1964.
 
2013-10-07 05:31:51 PM
I thought "Bathhouse Barry" was supposed to be gay.
 
2013-10-07 05:32:05 PM
Also FTA:After a successful sex-change surgery, this report says, Michelle met Obama, married and have since adopted two daughters, Malia and Sasha.
 
2013-10-07 05:32:06 PM
My favorite bit at the end is when they say Michelle Obama is a man and the kids are adopted. Eee-yeah. That totally explains why Malia looks -just- like her mother.
 
2013-10-07 05:32:15 PM
He had FOUR wives in Kenya! And 18 children!
 
2013-10-07 05:32:43 PM
I kept thinking "this isn't quite extreme enough to be satire", then I hit this gem:

As to why Obama would engage himself in dangerous affairs in the first place, this report bizarrely concludes, is the growing evidence that his wife, and First Lady,   in Chicago, Illinois on 17 January 1964. He was the second son born to Fraser Robinson III, a well known cocaine dealer and union thug for Crime Lord-Mayor Richard J. Daley, and Marian Shields Robinson, a transient street prostitute who was diagnosed with the HIV virus in 1998.

Wow.
 
2013-10-07 05:33:16 PM
Some conspiracy theory that was.  The President had pistachio problems and yet TFA fails to even mention Iran is the world's largest producer of problematic pistachios?
 
2013-10-07 05:33:58 PM
static.giantbomb.com

RIP - Mary Carey
 
2013-10-07 05:34:01 PM
And these readers vote and buy all the guns they have the money for.
 
2013-10-07 05:34:28 PM
Probably the easiest way to have someone eliminated is to get them to drive several states away to your home, and then cause them lead the police on a chase through the city, have them stopped, then back into a police car while guns are drawn on them, drive away so that another chase ensues, before gunning them down.

Quick, clean and easy.
 
2013-10-07 05:34:44 PM
sounds like Pocket Ninja wrote that.
 
2013-10-07 05:34:53 PM
He had a pistachio nut shell lodged into a back molar that required dental attention?

Seems hard to believe.

The rest seems plausible.
 
2013-10-07 05:35:02 PM
I remember a farker predicting this a few days ago... Out yourself, you genious!
 
2013-10-07 05:35:24 PM
I saw this, and went "No way something this retarded would be green'd."

Then I remembered it'll generate clicks and monies.

Fark, I am disappoint.
 
2013-10-07 05:36:22 PM
Apparently, not only was I not clear over in the tornado warning thread,  and I tried to use hand-coded HTML incorrectly, the picture belongs over  here:

img845.imageshack.us
 
2013-10-07 05:37:02 PM

lantawa: Tom Clancy did not die. Russian SVR agents kidnapped Clancy, substituted a body double and then killed that person, and ice frieghtered Clancy over to Novosibirsk, where they've tied his hands to a computer keyboard and forced him to write bad anti-American fiction.


Not possible.  That reads a lot more clearly and directly than anything Clancy ever wrote.
 
2013-10-07 05:37:52 PM
gr8 b8 m8
 
2013-10-07 05:38:10 PM
Not enough tin foil in the whole world for that level of loonie-toon.
 
2013-10-07 05:38:24 PM
check and mate Libulardos.

where is your Dog now?

/I actually thought someone would attempt to tie something like this together
//don't all black people know one another/ and are related? (farking white people reasoning)
 
2013-10-07 05:40:28 PM
*gasp*

Heavens to Betsy! What will those Obama's do next? I believe I may need to lie down *fans self*

/was that site satire? I have a hard time telling nowadays and haven't read the other comments because I'm lazy
 
2013-10-07 05:40:37 PM
I've had enough crazy for today, thank you. No clicky for you!
 
2013-10-07 05:41:25 PM
Holy shiat

I read the whole thing.

And now i'm dumber for it.
 
2013-10-07 05:43:05 PM

theknuckler_33: I've had enough crazy for today, thank you. No clicky for you!


You gotta read the article on the GRU arming the Texas secessionists. That's gold.
/Besides, if you can't trust the GRU, who can you trust?
 
2013-10-07 05:43:08 PM
southfort.netQuestion is, in the last analysis, was she any good?
 
2013-10-07 05:43:20 PM
FTFA:

October 7, 2013 © EU and US all rights reserved. Permission to use this report in its entirety is granted under the condition it is linked back to its original source at Whatdoesitmean.com

Just as a warning and basis for judging, Fark blocks links to the original source of this article for user security reasons:

 This site has major security issues, blocking for user safety reasons: 403 Not allowed


/Unless, of course, Fark is part of the conspiracy....
//This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.
 
2013-10-07 05:43:22 PM
Sidebar:

Putin Prepares To Arm Texas Separatists As Iran Orders 50,000 Troops To Syria.
 
2013-10-07 05:43:58 PM
So, the guy who doused himself with gasoline and burned himself to death on the National Mall was what, the most failed attempt at distraction in Secret Service history?
 
2013-10-07 05:45:23 PM
as outlandish as this may sound to someone with severe brain damage & chronic sleep apnea, you know that every motherfarking mouth breather who supports the (R)'s is contemplating the possibility of its truth.
 
2013-10-07 05:45:31 PM

palelizard: I kept thinking "this isn't quite extreme enough to be satire", then I hit this gem:

As to why Obama would engage himself in dangerous affairs in the first place, this report bizarrely concludes, is the growing evidence that his wife, and First Lady,   in Chicago, Illinois on 17 January 1964. He was the second son born to Fraser Robinson III, a well known cocaine dealer and union thug for Crime Lord-Mayor Richard J. Daley, and Marian Shields Robinson, a transient street prostitute who was diagnosed with the HIV virus in 1998.

Wow.


I know, right? What kind of moron says "HIV virus."
 
2013-10-07 05:46:21 PM
headline needs sound effects, maybe the SOAP theme?
 
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