If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Starpulse)   Lindsay Lohan to open her own rehab center? Ironic tag not even given the common courtesy of a reach-around   (starpulse.com) divider line 60
    More: Ironic, common courtesy, Lindsay Lohan  
•       •       •

1429 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Oct 2013 at 5:45 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-10-07 03:32:36 PM
"Welcome to my new rehab center.  Now please empty your pockets, and put all the drugs in this container."
 
2013-10-07 03:35:09 PM
that's like me opening a weight watchers center.
 
2013-10-07 04:07:12 PM
Well, lots of farked up people go into psychology or social work, because it's something they relate to.

/plus, she saw how much dough those places rake in
 
2013-10-07 04:44:13 PM
Well, Lindsey Lohan is a totally different person than that druggie known as Lindsay Lohan, subby. Therefore, not ironic.
 
2013-10-07 04:52:45 PM

Sliding Carp: "Welcome to my new rehab center.  Now please empty your pockets, and put all the drugs in this container."


"Now everybody close your eyes and take a handful from the container."
 
2013-10-07 05:12:03 PM
If you can't do, teach.
 
2013-10-07 05:15:58 PM
Well, Henry VIII started his own religion...
 
2013-10-07 05:49:30 PM
I'm all for it if it keeps her sober and she hires professionals.
 
2013-10-07 05:51:35 PM

basemetal: Well, lots of farked up people go into psychology or social work, because it's something they relate to.


True, but in some cases, they're helping others because they haven't figured out how to help themselves.
 
2013-10-07 05:51:42 PM
It's probably cheaper if she owns her own. Kind of like buying instead of renting.
 
2013-10-07 05:53:28 PM
fecktv.com
 
2013-10-07 05:54:02 PM
It's the 12th step. I figured she would do something like this sooner or later.
 
2013-10-07 05:54:53 PM

crotchgrabber: It's the 12th step. I figured she would do something like this sooner or later.


Clearly she is a "two stepper".
 
2013-10-07 05:55:34 PM
Back when NASCAR wanted to bring some reputability to the sport, they wanted to crack down on cheating. To find the cheaters they hired inspectors. These inspectors were some of the biggest cheaters in NASCAR and they were hired because they knew all the best ways to get around the rules.
 
2013-10-07 05:57:24 PM
"A source told RadarOnline.com: "Lindsay really wants to help other people and she's talked to some of her wealthy friends who are sober about the prospect of opening up a rehab center."

That was a terrible play on words. Who in the hell uses the phrase, "...are sober about (insert activity or project here)..."? I guess whoever it is realized that "sober" was a synonym for "serious", and thought they'd make a witty joke. What a stupid attempt at humor.
 
2013-10-07 05:57:43 PM
It worked for Betty Ford.

But Betty Ford didn't work for Lindsey Lohan.
 
2013-10-07 05:58:16 PM
I just saw a commercial for a rehab place in Malibu and the spokes person/owner (whatever) touted how well he understood because he used to be an addict.
 
2013-10-07 05:58:51 PM
Ahab to open a save the whale center.
 
2013-10-07 06:00:42 PM
then again...

static5.businessinsider.com
 
2013-10-07 06:01:54 PM
Not being an addict, I'll wait for her to release her own brand of anti-aging cream.
 
2013-10-07 06:16:17 PM

crotchgrabber: It's the 12th step. I figured she would do something like this sooner or later.


Aren't you supposed to work through the other eleven first?
 
2013-10-07 06:18:29 PM

Atomic Spunk: "A source told RadarOnline.com: "Lindsay really wants to help other people and she's talked to some of her wealthy friends who are sober about the prospect of opening up a rehab center."

That was a terrible play on words. Who in the hell uses the phrase, "...are sober about (insert activity or project here)..."? I guess whoever it is realized that "sober" was a synonym for "serious", and thought they'd make a witty joke. What a stupid attempt at humor.


Are you snarking? Because she asked her sober friends about the project. She asked her friends, who are sober, about the project.

TFA author is afraid of commas, but they really can be quite useful.
 
2013-10-07 06:18:46 PM
It was at that moment that the universe finally divided by 0... thus ending humanity.
 
2013-10-07 06:21:48 PM

namegoeshere: crotchgrabber: It's the 12th step. I figured she would do something like this sooner or later.

Aren't you supposed to work through the other eleven first?


You never "finish" a step. You "work" your steps for the rest of your life. They don't have to be in exact order. Tons of people find solace in the 12th and it helps them work their own sobriety.

Excuse me, I've got beer to drink.
 
2013-10-07 06:28:47 PM
When Lilo finally dies of an overdose of something, they'll have big pictures of her on every wall, and when new people come in, the staff will just point at the pictures and say, See? You could end up just like her.

Lindsay's grave will be out in the center plaza, and she will be known as everyone's sponsor. Guests of the center can visit the grave and whisper their secrets, and sometimes they will hear Lindsay herself saying, "Nooo...no.....don't be like me. Choose a better path."

Lindsays' parents will live in luxury off of the proceeds from one of the most successful (money-wise) rehab centers ever. They will even get back together and try to make another baby, to repeat the success they had with Lindsay, but after six miscarriages, Dina will give up and also finish drinking and drugging herself to death. She doesn't get to be buried in the courtyard at the rehab center, because her ex goes to court to stop it.
 
2013-10-07 06:31:19 PM
She needs to get away from her "friends". Every addict does.
 
2013-10-07 06:38:24 PM

namegoeshere: Atomic Spunk: "A source told RadarOnline.com: "Lindsay really wants to help other people and she's talked to some of her wealthy friends who are sober about the prospect of opening up a rehab center."

That was a terrible play on words. Who in the hell uses the phrase, "...are sober about (insert activity or project here)..."? I guess whoever it is realized that "sober" was a synonym for "serious", and thought they'd make a witty joke. What a stupid attempt at humor.

Are you snarking? Because she asked her sober friends about the project. She asked her friends, who are sober, about the project.

TFA author is afraid of commas, but they really can be quite useful.


No snarking. I read it as, "...she's talked to some of her wealthy friends, who are sober about the prospect...".
 
2013-10-07 06:48:05 PM

farkeruk: basemetal: Well, lots of farked up people go into psychology or social work, because it's something they relate to.

True, but in some cases, they're helping others because they haven't figured out how to help themselves.


Basing an entire career around trying to figure myself out? It's like a breast cancer survivor going into oncology because they're trying to figure out their cancer, it makes no sense.  People go into mental health because either they themselves or someone they loved suffered through it and came out the other side, and want to help others do the same.  Or if someone they loved suffered through it and didn't make it.  It has nothing to do with trying to fix themselves.
 
2013-10-07 07:00:06 PM

Atomic Spunk: "A source told RadarOnline.com: "Lindsay really wants to help other people and she's talked to some of her wealthy friends who are sober about the prospect of opening up a rehab center."

That was a terrible play on words. Who in the hell uses the phrase, "...are sober about (insert activity or project here)..."? I guess whoever it is realized that "sober" was a synonym for "serious", and thought they'd make a witty joke. What a stupid attempt at humor.


That's pretty funny. I didn't read it that way. I was more surprised that any sober person would actually think this is a good idea.
 
2013-10-07 07:00:09 PM
Taking a cue from the Hair Club business model I see
 
2013-10-07 07:24:02 PM
Isn't this like the casinos hiring card cheats as security personnel to help catch other card cheats?
 
2013-10-07 07:28:27 PM
Well, Lindsey Lohan is a totally different person than that druggie known as Lindsay Lohan, subby. Therefore, not ironic.

well played, good sir
 
2013-10-07 07:29:50 PM
She will find the best drugs this way.
 
2013-10-07 07:33:41 PM
yafh.com
 
2013-10-07 07:42:46 PM
Why do I get the impression "Rehab" will be in quotes.
And a euphemism for a cocaine habit.
And it's going to be a club in reality..
 
2013-10-07 08:20:06 PM
It's just a front for her and her friends to smoke crack in.
 
2013-10-07 08:53:23 PM

cryinoutloud: When Lilo finally dies of an overdose of something, they'll have big pictures of her on every wall, and when new people come in, the staff will just point at the pictures and say, See? You could end up just like her.

Lindsay's grave will be out in the center plaza, and she will be known as everyone's sponsor. Guests of the center can visit the grave and whisper their secrets, and sometimes they will hear Lindsay herself saying, "Nooo...no.....don't be like me. Choose a better path."

Lindsays' parents will live in luxury off of the proceeds from one of the most successful (money-wise) rehab centers ever. They will even get back together and try to make another baby, to repeat the success they had with Lindsay, but after six miscarriages, Dina will give up and also finish drinking and drugging herself to death. She doesn't get to be buried in the courtyard at the rehab center, because her ex goes to court to stop it.


It's sad that you scenario isn't totally insane.

I feel bad for Lindsay, a little. She obviously has horrible parents, and horrible friends. It's hard to overcome that, especially when it's been that way your whole life.
 
2013-10-07 09:01:42 PM
Eric Clapton did it.
 
2013-10-07 09:06:11 PM
crotchgrabber:

You never "finish" a step. You "work" your steps for the rest of your life. They don't have to be in exact order. Tons of people find solace in the 12th and it helps them work their own sobriety.

You do 'finish' steps, absolutely.  It's strongly recommended that you do them in order.  The 12th is about putting the other 11 into practice and carrying them to other alcoholics, so it would be really awkward to start there.
 
2013-10-07 09:21:59 PM

TrainingWheelsNeeded: Atomic Spunk: "A source told RadarOnline.com: "Lindsay really wants to help other people and she's talked to some of her wealthy friends who are sober about the prospect of opening up a rehab center."

That was a terrible play on words. Who in the hell uses the phrase, "...are sober about (insert activity or project here)..."? I guess whoever it is realized that "sober" was a synonym for "serious", and thought they'd make a witty joke. What a stupid attempt at humor.

That's pretty funny. I didn't read it that way. I was more surprised that any sober person would actually think this is a good idea.


Reading sober as 'not down with'
 
2013-10-07 09:28:18 PM
What about her home for nubile, wayward girls? Is that still a go?
 
2013-10-07 09:57:18 PM
Matthew Perry has opened his home as a sober living home, and I am fairly certain he was deeper in drugs than Lohan, she was just more public with hers. Of course, I am also willing to bet he is a lot more intelligent and has a lot more money.
 
2013-10-07 10:00:07 PM
This is just a dodge getting out of serving time for the next several charges.  Judge sentences her to rehab and she will be, "Pfft, I live in rehab."
 
2013-10-07 10:27:50 PM
The medical marijuana dispensary I go to in here in California has an indica called Lindsey Lohan.  I asked if it came with some blow or anything.
 
2013-10-07 10:37:07 PM
Woah... Lindsey Lohan? Back to Miley Cyrus, Internet, you've gone off on a tangent again.
 
2013-10-07 11:56:32 PM
Knock knock.
Who's There?
I dunno. I'm not going to look out the window. YOU look out the motherfarkin' window.
Damn, This blow is making me really paranoid,man.
 
2013-10-08 12:52:02 AM
I could get a hell of a good look at a T-Bone steak by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it.
 
2013-10-08 02:42:34 AM
Rehab center or not, I hope she sticks with it this time. A friend of mine recently went to rehab for alcoholism. He joined AA, but keeps going back to the bottle after a few weeks of sobriety. He got a girlfriend after about a month of doing AA and does nothing but either complain about her or worry she'll dump him for repeatedly falling off the wagon. Do you just keep starting the steps over if you slip up?
 
2013-10-08 03:26:18 AM
fark AA, gimme some LL
 
2013-10-08 06:27:16 AM
Man, she sounds boring now.

One of those former addicts who thinks and talks about nothing but their recovery.

Those people suck.
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report