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(Cool Story)   To the left, "cool magical items from fiction." To the right, a whole metric ton of "list fails without"   (cool-story.com) divider line 105
    More: Unlikely, horcruxes, superhuman abilities, Alibaba, metrics, symplectic filling, Organism, Aladdin, fictions  
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4154 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Oct 2013 at 4:48 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-07 03:16:29 PM
The hand and eye of BPIPAS: Magically see through all bullshiat (with the eye) and magically only write offensive screeds (with the hand).

This says nothing about the resultant hiding of the fark screen when your boss walks in.
 
2013-10-07 03:38:19 PM
TONNE. If it's metric it's a tonne
 
2013-10-07 03:46:23 PM
Guess I'll be first, then.

media.bestlittlesites.com

By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth!
 
2013-10-07 03:52:45 PM
Head of Vecna FTW!
 
2013-10-07 03:56:28 PM
So what happens if I put the One Ring on the hand of vecna?
 
2013-10-07 04:06:28 PM
No Bag of Holding?

Or was this list only for unique items?
 
2013-10-07 04:10:36 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-07 04:22:26 PM
It's extremely useful against certain dota heroes who might rely on creeps or summons.

You can kill one creep every 90 seconds, whoopeedeedo.
 
2013-10-07 04:25:38 PM
List fails without the Subtle Knife
 
2013-10-07 04:32:08 PM

netweavr: List fails without the Subtle Knife


Exactly what I came here to say.
 
2013-10-07 04:32:30 PM
The Hand and Eye of Vecna? Really? Those artifacts can only be used for evil - there's no wiggle room at all. The only uses of it I've ever seen in a campaign have been your standard 'take it away from the cultists and hide it away/destroy it' adventures.

What about the Rod of Seven Parts? The pieces are impervious to harm and can direct the bearer to the next piece of the Rod, invoking the various powers cannot be interrupted the way a spell can, it becomes more powerful the more pieces you've collected, and most of its abilities are morally neutral which means it can be a tool for both heroes and villains. Plus, the Rod of Seven Parts is the only major D&D artifact to have a standalone novel detailing its history.
 
2013-10-07 04:51:34 PM
www.rumormillnews.com
 
2013-10-07 04:54:58 PM
What about my robe and wizard hat? I can use it to cast Cock of the Infinite.
 
2013-10-07 05:01:30 PM
List fails without the Head of Vecna.
 
2013-10-07 05:01:56 PM

Amberwind: The Hand and Eye of Vecna? Really? Those artifacts can only be used for evil - there's no wiggle room at all. The only uses of it I've ever seen in a campaign have been your standard 'take it away from the cultists and hide it away/destroy it' adventures..


i.imgur.com

Pick a card, any card.

List does fail for omitting the sentient, soul-sucking, embodiment of evil incarnated into the form of a sword.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-10-07 05:02:39 PM
You know, I swear the Elder wand was made from Thestral hair and yew, not elder.

List needs lightsabers

Also, the Elfstones of Shannara.
 
2013-10-07 05:10:43 PM

meat0918: You know, I swear the Elder wand was made from Thestral hair and yew, not elder.

List needs lightsabers

Also, the Elfstones of Shannara.


Pretty sure the elder wand was made out of actual old people, but it's been a while since I read the books.
 
2013-10-07 05:13:14 PM
List fails without Nina Hartley's dildo.
 
2013-10-07 05:16:00 PM

mistrmind: List fails without Nina Hartley's dildo.


Was that attachment 27 or 28 on the WonderVac?
 
2013-10-07 05:18:02 PM

HighZoolander: meat0918: You know, I swear the Elder wand was made from Thestral hair and yew, not elder.

List needs lightsabers

Also, the Elfstones of Shannara.

Pretty sure the elder wand was made out of actual old people, but it's been a while since I read the books.


I'm confusing the Elder wand with one Harry tried out at Olivander's, but also with the idea it is "Elder" because it is so old.

Oh, and we need the farking Elder Scrolls and Umbra dammit.
 
2013-10-07 05:21:57 PM
Vorpal Sword from Jabberwock

Stormbringer, Moorcock

Ioun Stones, Jack Vance's "Dying Earth"

Everything in the "Bazaar of the Bizarre", Fritz Lieber

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

The Pattern/The Logrus, Zelazny's Amber series

Ardneh, Saberhagen's "Empire of the East"

/old nerd is old
 
2013-10-07 05:23:01 PM

meat0918: Elfstones of Shannara


Would rather have Brin's Wishsong...
 
2013-10-07 05:26:05 PM
www.yourprops.com
 
2013-10-07 05:26:11 PM
Winter is coming...

www.sierramadretrading.com
 
2013-10-07 05:29:11 PM
fc03.deviantart.net

No Staff of Magius and the spellbooks of Fistandantilus? Someone doesn't read Dragonlance.
 
2013-10-07 05:30:18 PM
Snapper Carr:
[i.imgur.com image 240x240]

Pick a card, any card.


Hours of fun for the whole family!

My DM used to refer to the Deck as the Pile of Hilarious Unintended Consequences. Mostly because the players in our group were perfectly willing to take the results of pulling a card to their most ridiculous conclusion.
 
2013-10-07 05:30:24 PM
Boots of Ass Kicking.
 
2013-10-07 05:32:44 PM
No decanter of endless water?
 
2013-10-07 05:33:10 PM

AbiNormal: Winter is coming...

[www.sierramadretrading.com image 517x287]


Is that the one with the Staghorn handle?
 
2013-10-07 05:39:58 PM

deadsanta: Ardneh, Saberhagen's "Empire of the East"


And twelve more as cool as any in the article:

Who holds Coinspinner knows good odds
Whichever move he make
But the Sword of Chance, to please the gods
Slips from him like a snake.

The Sword of Justice balances the pans
Of right and wrong, and foul and fair.
Eye for an eye, Doomgiver scans
The fate of all folk everywhere.

Dragonslicer, Dragonslicer, how d'you slay?
Reaching for the heart in behind the scales.
Dragonslicer, Dragonslicer, where do you stay?
In the belly of the giant that my blade impales.

Farslayer howls across the world
For thy heart, for thy heart, who hast wronged me!
Vengeance is his who casts the blade
Yet he will in the end no triumph see.

Whose flesh the Sword of Mercy hurts has drawn no breath;
Whose soul it heals has wandered in the night,
Has paid the summing of all debts in death
Has turned to see returning light.

The Mindsword spun in the dawn's gray light
And men and demons knelt down before.
The Mindsword flashed in the midday bright
Gods joined the dance, and the march to war.
It spun in the twilight dim as well
And gods and men marched off to hell.

I shatter Swords and splinter spears;
None stands to Shieldbreaker.
My point's the fount of orphans' tears
My edge the widowmaker.

The Sword of Stealth is given to
One lonely and despised.
Sightblinder's gifts: his eyes are keen
His nature is disguised.

The Tyrant's Blade no blood hath spilled
But doth the spirit carve
Soulcutter hath no body killed
But many left to starve.

The Sword of Siege struck a hammer's blow
With a crash, and a smash, and a tumbled wall.
Stonecutter laid a castle low
With a groan, and a roar, and a tower's fall.

Long roads the Sword of Fury makes
Hard walls it builds around the soft
The fighter who Townsaver takes
Can bid farewell to home and croft.

Who holds Wayfinder finds good roads
Its master's step is brisk.
The Sword of Wisdom lightens loads
But adds unto their risk.
 
2013-10-07 05:42:35 PM
List fails without a purple crayon.

www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-10-07 05:42:46 PM

deadsanta: Vorpal Sword from Jabberwock

Stormbringer, Runestaff Moorcock


Silmarils, Tolkien

Ioun Stones, Jack Vance's "Dying Earth"

Everything in the "Bazaar of the Bizarre", Fritz Lieber

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

The Pattern/The Logrus, family trumps, Zelazny's Amber series

The Silver Flute, Piers Anthony's Blue Adept series

Ardneh, Saberhagen's "Empire of the East"

/old nerd is old


Nice list.  Made a few amendments.
 
2013-10-07 05:46:19 PM

Captain Meatsack: AbiNormal: Winter is coming...

[www.sierramadretrading.com image 517x287]

Is that the one with the Staghorn handle?


Yes sir.
 
2013-10-07 05:51:20 PM
Orb of Aldur
 
2013-10-07 06:10:51 PM

HighZoolander: meat0918: You know, I swear the Elder wand was made from Thestral hair and yew, not elder.

List needs lightsabers

Also, the Elfstones of Shannara.

Pretty sure the elder wand was made out of actual old people, but it's been a while since I read the books.



The Elder wand was made from the boner of Death himself.
 
2013-10-07 06:11:20 PM
List fails without:

cdn5.movieclips.com

The invisibility cloak from Erik the Viking.
 
2013-10-07 06:12:58 PM

ScaryBottles: [fc03.deviantart.net image 600x900]

No Staff of Magius and the spellbooks of Fistandantilus? Someone doesn't read Dragonlance.


Those POS books, Hickman, Hickman, and Weiss are hacks.
 
2013-10-07 06:17:03 PM

Slaves2Darkness: ScaryBottles: [fc03.deviantart.net image 600x900]

No Staff of Magius and the spellbooks of Fistandantilus? Someone doesn't read Dragonlance.

Those POS books, Hickman, Hickman, and Weiss are hacks.


Ayep.  Those books are the Harlequin Romance of fantasy.
 
2013-10-07 06:34:20 PM
whar Necronomicon whar?!


Klaatu Barada N... Necktie... Neckturn... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word! Klaatu... Barada... N...
 
2013-10-07 06:39:30 PM

FrancoFile: deadsanta: Vorpal Sword from Jabberwock

Stormbringer, Runestaff Moorcock

Silmarils, Tolkien

Ioun Stones, Jack Vance's "Dying Earth"

Everything in the "Bazaar of the Bizarre", Fritz Lieber

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

The Pattern/The Logrus, family trumps, Zelazny's Amber series

The Silver Platinum Flute, Piers Anthony's Blue Adept series

Ardneh, Saberhagen's "Empire of the East"

/old nerd is old

Nice list.  Made a few amendments.


FTFY.
 
2013-10-07 06:44:00 PM

Sabrehawk: The Silver Platinum Flute, Piers Anthony's Blue Adept series


How did I get Mozart in there??  Need coffee.
 
2013-10-07 06:53:29 PM
WTF would you want a Silmaril for? Didn't you learn ANYthing? The damn things are cursed, and if Morgorth doesn't do bad things to you, then surely one of Feanor's sons will show up and chop you to bit.

Besides, they don't do anything but glitter. How useless is that shiat?

My list:

* Excalibur, King Arthur Legend
* Harry's Cloak of Invisibility, Harry Potter Series
* Nakor's bag, the Midkemia books
* anything precious and blue from any David Edding book (yes...I know)
* Callandor, any number of ter'angreal in WoT
* the whole face-changey thing from ASoIaF
 
2013-10-07 07:02:42 PM
Babelfish was also an amusing plot device.
 
2013-10-07 07:11:40 PM

Ennuipoet: Head of Vecna FTW!


DAMN YOU!

I came here to say that!

How about Stormbringer, then?
 
2013-10-07 07:16:49 PM
fc03.deviantart.net
 
2013-10-07 07:17:03 PM
Sommerswerd
Soul Caliber
Grunting
Mjolinir
Master Sword
Keyblade

And of course...The Sword of Omens!
 
2013-10-07 07:20:12 PM

Ennuipoet: Head of Vecna FTW!


images2.wikia.nocookie.net

"It's a long story, I don't want to talk about it...."

/"That was you?"
 
2013-10-07 07:30:51 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
You all are now insane....
 
2013-10-07 07:41:05 PM

netweavr: Babelfish was also an amusing plot device.


The Babelfish was a herring aid.
 
2013-10-07 07:41:19 PM
Something tells me a good deal of you here would appreciate this book.
 
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