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(Iowa City Press-Citizen)   There's "regular drunk," and there's "Iowa City drunk," which today involves being pulled from a creek while claiming to be "Peggy Hill, from Arlington Texas," and searching for four Girl Scouts you lost   (press-citizen.com) divider line 77
    More: Amusing, Arlington Texas  
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6093 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2013 at 1:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-10-07 12:38:27 PM  
I'm looking for girlscouts.
jimmiesworld.files.wordpress.com 4.bp.blogspot.comcdn101.iofferphoto.com
 
2013-10-07 12:44:54 PM  
Those might be the most disgusting costumes I've ever seen.
 
2013-10-07 12:49:12 PM  
Siegert, who showed all signs of intoxication, said he wanted to help the scouts earn a merit badge

www.myconfinedspace.com
 
2013-10-07 12:56:13 PM  

exick: Those might be the most disgusting costumes I've ever seen.


Disgusting isn't the right word, disturbing -sure. Just imagine showing up to a costume party and you see a bevy of attractive women wearing these costumes! Luckily, your motto is "always be prepared" -which is why you're wearing your own Scoutmaster costume.

peacemoonbeam.typepad.com


... or maybe not.
 
2013-10-07 01:12:53 PM  
FTFA:  who showed all signs of intoxication

He showed ALL signs!?  Holy shiat, that man needs serious help.
 
2013-10-07 01:13:23 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-07 01:14:07 PM  

"Peggy Hill, from Arlington Texas,"


Heh, I wonder if she's related that Peggy Hill from Arlen.

wanderlustamerican.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-07 01:14:39 PM  
Lost group of kids?  Did they check Mexico?
 
2013-10-07 01:15:33 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: exick: Those might be the most disgusting costumes I've ever seen.

Disgusting isn't the right word, disturbing -sure. Just imagine showing up to a costume party and you see a bevy of attractive women wearing these costumes! Luckily, your motto is "always be prepared" -which is why you're wearing your own Scoutmaster costume.

[peacemoonbeam.typepad.com image 402x402]


... or maybe not.


I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts when I was caught eating a Brownie.
 
2013-10-07 01:16:09 PM  
That boy ain't right.
 
2013-10-07 01:19:34 PM  
Despite the amusing string of pop-culture references for me, it was one word that made the article...


"Siegert, who showed all signs of intoxication..."

Not some mind you, not quite a few, not even most signs of intoxication, but ALL the signs of intoxication.
 
2013-10-07 01:20:07 PM  
headblitz.com
 
2013-10-07 01:20:40 PM  
Did anyone else click on the "Other stories you may like "

" Police: Man stuffed Snickers bar into ex-girlfriend's ..."
 
2013-10-07 01:22:06 PM  

thesubliminalman: Did anyone else click on the "Other stories you may like "

" Police: Man stuffed Snickers bar into ex-girlfriend's ..."


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-10-07 01:22:37 PM  
FTFA: "ficers did not locate any Girl Scouts in the area, police say."

So you're saying the girls are still lost out there?
 
2013-10-07 01:23:30 PM  

brap: Despite the amusing string of pop-culture references for me, it was one word that made the article...


"Siegert, who showed all signs of intoxication..."

Not some mind you, not quite a few, not even most signs of intoxication, but ALL the signs of intoxication.


Claiming to be a female cartoon character is the most dangerous of signs.
 
2013-10-07 01:23:42 PM  

thesubliminalman: Did anyone else click on the "Other stories you may like "

" Police: Man stuffed Snickers bar into ex-girlfriend's ..."


.... couch cushions?
 
2013-10-07 01:24:00 PM  
I read stories such as these and then think back to all the times that I was extremely intoxicated. I wonder what is wrong with these people since I have never forgot who I was, removed my clothes in an inappropriate situation or slept with someone I did not intend to. I am not saying that I did not do my share of crazy things when I was intoxicated, but I was always somewhat aware of what I was doing.
 
2013-10-07 01:25:23 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: I'm looking for girlscouts.
 


I think that last one is a Brownie...
/nttawwt
//wait, does that mean I'm on a list?
///eff it, it's Halloween season, rolling with it...
 
2013-10-07 01:25:26 PM  
that would be one sweet merit badge
 
2013-10-07 01:27:11 PM  
celebritysmackblog.com

Next, maybe she'll wake up on a roof in Terre Haute, Indiana after get jumped by some guys in Illinois.
 
2013-10-07 01:27:26 PM  

Profedius: I read stories such as these and then think back to all the times that I was extremely intoxicated. I wonder what is wrong with these people since I have never forgot who I was, removed my clothes in an inappropriate situation or slept with someone I did not intend to. I am not saying that I did not do my share of crazy things when I was intoxicated, but I was always somewhat aware of what I was doing.


Because people LOVE to use being drunk as an excuse for poor behavior. Everything from being slutty to smashing in car windows to picking random fights.
 
2013-10-07 01:29:16 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: exick: Those might be the most disgusting costumes I've ever seen.

Disgusting isn't the right word, disturbing -sure. Just imagine showing up to a costume party and you see a bevy of attractive women wearing these costumes! Luckily, your motto is "always be prepared" -which is why you're wearing your own Scoutmaster costume.

[peacemoonbeam.typepad.com image 402x402]


... or maybe not.


I am going to make $10 million selling weird sex merit badges.  Who wants a Dirty Sanchezer or Donkey Puncher merit badge??
 
2013-10-07 01:32:06 PM  
Siegert, who showed all signs of intoxication, said he wanted to help the scouts earn a merit badge, according to police.

That's an achievement badge right there.
 
2013-10-07 01:33:56 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: exick: Those might be the most disgusting costumes I've ever seen.

Disgusting isn't the right word, disturbing -sure. Just imagine showing up to a costume party and you see a bevy of attractive women wearing these costumes! Luckily, your motto is "always be prepared" -which is why you're wearing your own Scoutmaster costume.

[peacemoonbeam.typepad.com image 402x402]


... or maybe not.


I'm very proud of my "Bearded Clam Scout" merit badge
 
2013-10-07 01:37:06 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: Siegert, who showed all signs of intoxication, said he wanted to help the scouts earn a merit badge, according to police.

That's an achievement badge right there.


Woo Loo Loo. Woo Loo Loo
 
2013-10-07 01:40:47 PM  
LeroyBourne:Claiming to be a female cartoon character is the most dangerous of signs.

Back in my day we were genderless cartoon characters but I guess that was a simpler time when the Women's and Sexuality Studies program had better funding and the 'shrooms were more sensitive to everyone's needs.
 
2013-10-07 01:43:19 PM  

robohobo: Profedius: I read stories such as these and then think back to all the times that I was extremely intoxicated. I wonder what is wrong with these people since I have never forgot who I was, removed my clothes in an inappropriate situation or slept with someone I did not intend to. I am not saying that I did not do my share of crazy things when I was intoxicated, but I was always somewhat aware of what I was doing.

Because people LOVE to use being drunk as an excuse for poor behavior. Everything from being slutty to smashing in car windows to picking random fights.


Once upon a time, I would have agreed with robohobo, but I experienced a blackout once and I believe people can do things when they are blacked out drunk that are completely out of character, without it being an "excuse".

Apparently, while I was drunk, I was deemed "functioning" in my friends' eyes.  I lost three hours that I do not remember at all.  Damned fools handed me a knife to cut the birthday cake.  It's frightening to think that I could have done something with that knife and had no memory at all.

Lesson learned: never drink whatever is in the punch bowl.
 
2013-10-07 01:48:10 PM  
Rusty Shackleford unavailable for comment, unless he's already in the thread.
 
2013-10-07 01:48:52 PM  
Haha!  That's brilliant!!  The next time I'm drunk I'm going to claim to be Boomhower and break out my CB radio voice.
 
2013-10-07 01:51:00 PM  
media.moronail.net
 
2013-10-07 01:52:30 PM  
In case anyone hasnt seen this

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-10-07 01:52:48 PM  
We of the Order of the Straight Arrow call upon the spirit Wemantanyay. Protector of the sacred ground, that brings us cool water to drink and energy efficient clean burning propane gas for all our sacred heating and cooking needs! Wemantanyay says respect the Earth, she's ours, by God, our taxes paid for her. Also, uh, it says here you gotta love all her creatures. Uh, let's see. Oh, here we go. Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're gonna reccomend us to the spirit in the sky. With liberty and justice for all. Wemantanye is with you, and with Texas. Amen.
 
2013-10-07 02:04:43 PM  
I have this one fantasy where I'm a 9 yo Girl Scout but I'm also a total whore, so I roll up my red flyer wagon full of Girl Scout cookies to a pedophiles house (but I didn't know that) and he answers the door naked and hard to freak me out, but I'm still like all do you want to buy these cookies or not, and he's like sure, I'll buy all of them for a price. He's 40ish and hairy, and he lives with his felon roommate who's 60ish and grey. They actually screw eachother even though they're not really gay. It's just on the DL. But then I start showing up with a wagon full of cookies every week and they buy them all! And make me wear red lipstick on lips and nipples.

I've said too much, I'm really just kidding. Want to buy some cookies? (I think the whole thing is a metaphor for my jerb).
 
2013-10-07 02:05:18 PM  
Ah what the hell, since this is gonna be a Hank Hill thread anyway.

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-10-07 02:10:46 PM  

brap: LeroyBourne:Claiming to be a female cartoon character is the most dangerous of signs.

Back in my day we were genderless cartoon characters but I guess that was a simpler time when the Women's and Sexuality Studies program had better funding and the 'shrooms were more sensitive to everyone's needs.


Man, even in my youth on an 1/8 of magical boom booms I never pretended to be a cartoon character, but as I always said back then, if you want to do drugs you should probably have a good head on your shoulders.
/wrapping that 10 strip around my tongue right before a road trip with friends might have been a push, but I made it thru.
 
2013-10-07 02:20:17 PM  
"Drunk man claims to be Peggy Hill"

If Peggy in jail who answering phone at discover card?

www.nysportsjournalism.com

Also...

Link
 
2013-10-07 02:36:55 PM  
Here is an insane story

http://thedailycricket.net/2008/06/23/bizzare-arrest-on-rt-95/

You are welcome for the green.
 
2013-10-07 02:38:36 PM  

Literally Addicted: Once upon a time, I would have agreed with robohobo, but I experienced a blackout once and I believe people can do things when they are blacked out drunk that are completely out of character, without it being an "excuse".


If anyone actually witnessed anything that I did on the Saturday of Lollapalooza 2008 between the hours of 4pm and 8pm... please let me know. And whatever it was, I apologize.
 
2013-10-07 02:44:58 PM  

Mr_Fabulous: If anyone actually witnessed anything that I did on the Saturday of Lollapalooza 2008 between the hours of 4pm and 8pm... please let me know. And whatever it was, I apologize.


You drank the punch, huh?
 
2013-10-07 02:47:07 PM  

Gunny Highway: Here is an insane story

http://thedailycricket.net/2008/06/23/bizzare-arrest-on-rt-95/

You are welcome for the green.


Holy crap.  That's like a reading of the Aristocrats tag-teamed by George Carlin and Dennis Leary during their druggie years.
 
2013-10-07 02:48:37 PM  

Profedius: I read stories such as these and then think back to all the times that I was extremely intoxicated. I wonder what is wrong with these people since I have never forgot who I was, removed my clothes in an inappropriate situation or slept with someone I did not intend to. I am not saying that I did not do my share of crazy things when I was intoxicated, but I was always somewhat aware of what I was doing.


All that means is that your personal definition of 'extremely intoxicated' doesn't measure up to mine.  Blackouts are a thing.  They happen.
 
2013-10-07 02:51:19 PM  

Literally Addicted: Gunny Highway: Here is an insane story

http://thedailycricket.net/2008/06/23/bizzare-arrest-on-rt-95/

You are welcome for the green.

Holy crap.  That's like a reading of the Aristocrats tag-teamed by George Carlin and Dennis Leary during their druggie years.


Ahhh,  home sweet home.
 
2013-10-07 02:54:04 PM  
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-10-07 03:09:17 PM  

Gunny Highway: Here is an insane story

http://thedailycricket.net/2008/06/23/bizzare-arrest-on-rt-95/

You are welcome for the green.


YOLO!
 
2013-10-07 03:10:38 PM  

robohobo: Profedius: I read stories such as these and then think back to all the times that I was extremely intoxicated. I wonder what is wrong with these people since I have never forgot who I was, removed my clothes in an inappropriate situation or slept with someone I did not intend to. I am not saying that I did not do my share of crazy things when I was intoxicated, but I was always somewhat aware of what I was doing.

Because people LOVE to use being drunk as an excuse for poor behavior. Everything from being slutty to smashing in car windows to picking random fights.


Well, in their defense, they were drunk at the time.
 
2013-10-07 03:10:46 PM  
Haven't been to Iowa City for something like 20 years. I was checking out the photo from the article. Looks like the the pedestrian "mall" behind what used to be the Holiday Inn (I think that's the bulding running along in the background). Looks like they've made some good changes, including getting rid of Godfather's Pizza.

And is that a building that's actually taller than the seven-story Holiday Inn!? Impressive, Iowa City...Most impressive.
 
2013-10-07 03:11:31 PM  

Gunny Highway: Literally Addicted: Gunny Highway: Here is an insane story

http://thedailycricket.net/2008/06/23/bizzare-arrest-on-rt-95/

You are welcome for the green.

Holy crap.  That's like a reading of the Aristocrats tag-teamed by George Carlin and Dennis Leary during their druggie years.

Ahhh,  home sweet home.


Can anyone find "official" confirmation of this story and arrest?  The linked article has a "satire" tag on it.  It sounded potentially real to me up until the overly Chinese stereotyped speech from the owner of the "Golden Dong" restaurant.
 
2013-10-07 03:17:53 PM  

Literally Addicted: robohobo: Profedius: I read stories such as these and then think back to all the times that I was extremely intoxicated. I wonder what is wrong with these people since I have never forgot who I was, removed my clothes in an inappropriate situation or slept with someone I did not intend to. I am not saying that I did not do my share of crazy things when I was intoxicated, but I was always somewhat aware of what I was doing.

Because people LOVE to use being drunk as an excuse for poor behavior. Everything from being slutty to smashing in car windows to picking random fights.

Once upon a time, I would have agreed with robohobo, but I experienced a blackout once and I believe people can do things when they are blacked out drunk that are completely out of character, without it being an "excuse".

Apparently, while I was drunk, I was deemed "functioning" in my friends' eyes.  I lost three hours that I do not remember at all.  Damned fools handed me a knife to cut the birthday cake.  It's frightening to think that I could have done something with that knife and had no memory at all.

Lesson learned: never drink whatever is in the punch bowl.


One blackout? Pffft. Lightweight. Every time I have more than 8-9 drinks, I lose memory of what I did. Everybody says I seem fairly normal, if a bit physically clumsy (I've fallen and hurt myself a couple times). You're not blacked out AT THE TIME. You're just not storing stuff into long-term memory. People have different reactions to extreme intoxication, but generally if you're an asshole, you're just going to be more of an asshole. If you're a non-violent, passive person, that's not going to change when you're knee-walking drunk. I'm an amateur actor, and I'm a RIDICULOUS ham actor when I'm very drunk. It's entertaining up to a point.

/Yes, I know, it's a problem. Tough to go to an AA meeting and tell people that excessive drinking has merely made you fat and somewhat less productive. And not-drinking SUCKS.
 
2013-10-07 03:29:11 PM  

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: Gunny Highway: Literally Addicted: Gunny Highway: Here is an insane story

http://thedailycricket.net/2008/06/23/bizzare-arrest-on-rt-95/

You are welcome for the green.

Holy crap.  That's like a reading of the Aristocrats tag-teamed by George Carlin and Dennis Leary during their druggie years.

Ahhh,  home sweet home.

Can anyone find "official" confirmation of this story and arrest?  The linked article has a "satire" tag on it.  It sounded potentially real to me up until the overly Chinese stereotyped speech from the owner of the "Golden Dong" restaurant.


oddly enough it wasnt on snopes.  but the Daily Cricket is a wordpress blog, i think.  read the other articles.  i do not think they are real but they are pretty funny if you choose to think them real.
 
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