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(WTSP)   Two students were banned from their school's homecoming for a) showing up drunk b) bringing a live alligator or c) handing out condoms. Hint: Florida   (wtsp.com) divider line 59
    More: Florida, high schools  
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5699 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2013 at 12:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-10-07 11:05:50 AM  
Why the hint? It's always C
 
2013-10-07 12:51:32 PM  
If you show up drunk with an alligator, you're automatically homecoming king.  If the alligator is drunk, you're also mayor.
 
2013-10-07 12:51:40 PM  

colinspooky: Why the hint? It's always C


as they told me before I took the bar exam...

when in doubt, C it out.

/ unfortunately, no multiple choice on my bar exam... so, uh, this was like a lesson in what it's like to practice law.  absurdity to follow.
 
2013-10-07 12:52:35 PM  
Hint: Florida

So all of the above then?
 
2013-10-07 12:52:46 PM  

colinspooky: Why the hint? It's always C


Because it's Florida. They could be putting condoms on drunk alligators.

/I live there
 
2013-10-07 12:55:49 PM  
If the alligator is on acid, they give you a Ferarri, a pastel suit, and make you a vice cop.
 
2013-10-07 12:55:54 PM  

colinspooky: Why the hint? It's always C


The hint tricked me into thinking it would be B just this once.
 
2013-10-07 12:56:13 PM  
Getting banned from homecoming for handing out condoms is a FAR better story than actually attending homecoming.

Those kids win.
 
2013-10-07 12:59:35 PM  

realmolo: Getting banned from homecoming for handing out condoms is a FAR better story than actually attending homecoming.

Those kids win.


this
 
2013-10-07 12:59:50 PM  
15:1 that she'll be an alcoholic, single mother, college dropout by the age of 21.
 
2013-10-07 01:01:14 PM  
My senior prom was actually held at a hotel.

Of course, my b/f and I found it practical to stay there overnight...you know... the no drinking and driving thing.
 
2013-10-07 01:02:26 PM  

fappomatic: 15:1 that she'll be an alcoholic, single mother, college dropout by the age of 21.


and what about him?
 
2013-10-07 01:03:12 PM  
Two students running for homecoming king and queen at Mulberry High School were disqualified a day before the voting was to take place for what school officials called an "inappropriate activity."

No, bending her over the back of a chair and doing her in front of the entire senior class while she shouts, "bang me like the piston on an old steam train" would been "inappropriate." THEN, I would have said, "ok, yeah, I guess that is a little over the line."
 
2013-10-07 01:03:59 PM  
I expected it to be D) dancing.
 
2013-10-07 01:04:32 PM  
They would have been better off bringing the alligator. Just sayin'.


/Gene pool needs more chlorine.
 
2013-10-07 01:06:07 PM  

Literally Addicted: fappomatic: 15:1 that she'll be an alcoholic, single mother, college dropout by the age of 21.

and what about him?


He'll be on the beach laughing, with Glenn Frey.
 
2013-10-07 01:06:57 PM  
FTFA:  "The idea was to feel like a princess like a queen," she says.

Oh, sweetie. A real princess or queen wouldn't be caught dead in that.

And by "that" I mean Florida.
 
2013-10-07 01:10:38 PM  
Alligator.
 
2013-10-07 01:11:07 PM  
Answer:   Drunk guys attempting to demonstrate condom use by putting condoms on an alligator.

Problem: Define "futility".

Besides, don't alligators have two penises like snakes? You'd waste twice as many condoms even without breakage. And there would be breakage.
 
2013-10-07 01:22:11 PM  
She's work a purity ring since 7th grade? Congratulations, you're about 90% likely to give it up before marriage.
 
2013-10-07 01:23:34 PM  
I love it when adults desperately want to believe kids won't do what they did in high school so they try  to ban everything
 
2013-10-07 01:26:25 PM  

edmo: I love it when adults desperately want to believe kids won't do what they did in high school so they try  to ban everything


My parents had the close-your-eyes-and-put-your-fingers-in-your-ears-while-saying-lalalal alala approach to my sister and I after we hit 17.  There wasn't much they could do, and they'd rather not know than think about it too hard.

That, and dad drank.  Seemed to help.
 
2013-10-07 01:27:18 PM  
Someone tell Dalton he's not getting laid.
 
2013-10-07 01:28:29 PM  
Yay! Balloons!

/clown cock
 
2013-10-07 01:29:17 PM  

uncleacid: Someone tell Dalton he's not getting laid.


You tell him..

fogsmoviereviews.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-10-07 01:29:53 PM  
There is some political motivation behind suspending these kids in particular and not all the kids which broke school policy by pandering for votea.

Apparently the parent of one of the kids involved is a mayoral candidate for Lakeland and opponent of the spouse of one of the school officials responsible for the suspension.
 
2013-10-07 01:30:52 PM  
Why do they have to hand them out for them to be used?  Why don't those losers just get laid and use all the condoms themselves?
 
2013-10-07 01:30:59 PM  

uncleacid: Someone tell Dalton he's not getting laid.


What else are those two going to do with a night free of social commitments and a bunch of condoms they couldn't give away?
 
2013-10-07 01:32:28 PM  
she's worn a purity ring since 7th grade and does not support pre-marital sex.

She sounds frigid
 
2013-10-07 01:36:39 PM  
And of course since condoms were not handed out their snowflakes magically know nothing of sex and will never ever have it before, during, or after marriage. Because the parents still believe in the stork.
 
2013-10-07 01:37:17 PM  
Bet they got ribbed.
 
2013-10-07 01:40:37 PM  
www.condom.co.nz

It's because they were attaching them to notes, and you're explicitly not allowed to pass notes around in prison.
 
2013-10-07 01:45:20 PM  

uncleacid: Someone tell Dalton he's not getting laid.


What?  Why?  He's her best friend!  And that always works out in John Hughes movies...which high school always resembles.  :D
 
2013-10-07 01:56:05 PM  
www.wtsp.com

Why flavored? Because technical virginity is still virginity.
 
2013-10-07 02:00:53 PM  

Sybarite: [www.wtsp.com image 640x360]

Why flavored? Because technical virginity is still virginity.


Blueberry matches his balls.
 
2013-10-07 02:20:47 PM  

Lars The Canadian Viking: realmolo: Getting banned from homecoming for handing out condoms is a FAR better story than actually attending homecoming.

Those kids win.

this


Fark are you talking about? What's more enjoyable than uncomfortable dancing in uncomfortable shoes and an uncomfortable outfit, with chaperones and teachers looking at you uncomfortably?

My favorite part of the dances were the dance police.

"Get that hand UP, DRoxINxTHExWIND"

I know the principal was hating because he longed for the days when he could squeeze a handful of young, tender teenaged girl.
 
2013-10-07 02:25:33 PM  
You can't get pregnant from the sex I have.

/would be awesome if I were talking about BJ's
//of course I'm talking about solo
 
2013-10-07 02:28:37 PM  

realmolo: Getting banned from homecoming for handing out condoms is a FAR better story than actually attending homecoming.


Step 1: Get banned from Home Coming for handing out condoms.
Step 2: *censored*
Step 3: Tell everyone you hung out at Denny's all night.
 
2013-10-07 02:32:23 PM  

edmo: I love it when adults desperately want to believe kids won't do what they did in high school so they try  to ban everything


Reminds me of an old episode of the George Lopez show, where George and his wife don't want their daughter to have sex. Everyone tells them if she wants to, she will, even grandpa says so. They refuse to believe that, thinking there must be a way to stop her.

Eventually they buy her a car and tell her if she has sex they take away the keys...
 
2013-10-07 02:42:36 PM  
First I was thinking the duo was yknow, being responsible, then I read the article and saw, "We're just attention whores trying to win the homecoming king/queen contest!"
 
2013-10-07 02:44:52 PM  
I really enjoy the term "inappropriate" sometimes. It's a total non-argument; it's just saying "I have no reason why you're wrong, but you shouldn't talk about that here".

I understand that some things do in fact have a time and place. But if you're argument is only that it's inappropriate, it's a bad argument.
 
2013-10-07 02:46:42 PM  

Sybarite: [www.wtsp.com image 640x360]

Why flavored? Because technical virginity is still virginity.


Why does this song cross my mind? (NSFW)
/Bonus purity ring in TFA.
 
2013-10-07 02:48:24 PM  
img.izifunny.com
 
2013-10-07 02:48:28 PM  

Sybarite: [www.wtsp.com image 640x360]

Why flavored? Because technical virginity is still virginity.


In other news, blueberry is now a lifestyle.
 
2013-10-07 02:53:10 PM  
found this while looking for the previous image and what the hell...
 
2013-10-07 02:54:20 PM  

Brick-House: found this while looking for the previous image and what the hell...


ikonal.com
now with picture goodness
 
2013-10-07 03:04:16 PM  
It was B this time right? Tell me it was B.

/one day....
 
2013-10-07 03:14:01 PM  

Bag-o-Nugs: There is some political motivation behind suspending these kids in particular and not all the kids which broke school policy by pandering for vote.


Bingo.  The Wiggs's dad is a city council member and was openly critical of how Lakeland mayor Fields handled the police sex scandal and is running opposition to the mayor in the upcoming election.  Fields's wive is on the school board.  What a stupid thing to flex political influence over.
 
2013-10-07 03:36:27 PM  

edmo: I love it when adults desperately want to believe kids won't do what they did in high school so they try  to ban everything


Whats worse is that society helps them these days.  When I was in high school if a cop caught me drinking I'd have my booze poured out (or 'confiscated' if it was sealed)and get a lecture from the cop, these days they book the kids and give them a record.  Same goes for parking, smoking etc.  The worst part is it wasn't even all that long ago, I'm on 29.
 
2013-10-07 03:39:58 PM  
d) cousin sex
 
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